“Hello, my name’s Mahon.”

The walk had been short enough that Mahon didn’t feel too exhausted and he stayed standing while talking to the speaker, ignoring his protesting muscles.

“You’re Nimeroni, right? I’m sorry to disturb your class, it has been a long time since I last came here, actually… The feelings are still the same though. One would think that after all this time we would have learned to say goodbye, but it seems it remains as difficult as ever.”

She smiled at him as comprehension dawned in her eyes.

“Oh, I see. Farewell.” She extended her hand and put it on Mahon’s shoulder. “It’s always hard when you see someone who fought alongside you, who died when you survived, just walk like they’re perfectly fine. Except they don’t remember you anymore... You knew someone from the group?”

Mahon shook his head. “No, not personally.” He then gestured to his body. “I spent too much time in Nightmare. I'm not sure I know anyone from Ratho.”

She raised an eyebrow at his remark and Mahon felt the need to explain a bit.

“You know, you don’t have the same appearance here and in your dreams. So if you only know someone from Nightmare, you will not recognize him when you see him in Ratho.”

She promptly nodded. “Everybody knows that… But you do have breaks from Nightmare, can’t fight all day, eh?” She laughed but stopped when she saw his embarrassed expression. “Surely, you know some of your comrades in arms from Ratho, right?”

Mahon scratched his head and laughed at the absurdity of his situation.

“The war kept me busy, I’ve never got the time to…”

His voice died as Nimeroni looked at him with disappointment before she sighed heavily. Strangely enough, Mahon felt like a child who had just escaped scolding from his mother.

“So, what are you doing here in the end?”

The feeling quickly dissipated and Mahon focused back on what he came for.

“What you said earlier was right, there will be no more deaths from Nightmare. I, at least, had to escort this last batch up to here. And I admit that seeing the excitement in their eyes and their carelessness after all the fights is a blessing, really.”

Nimeroni laughed. “Yes, that’s what convinced me to continue this job for years. This feeling of raising a child to adulthood in a week is surprisingly satisfying.”

“I can imagine. I never found happier and easier people than on the first day of this class…”

They both stayed quiet, lost in their memories, until Mahon spoke again.

“But to be honest, with the end of the Nightmare war, I also came for a more personal reason…”

His voice died down but Nimeroni encouraged him to continue and her warm smile overcame his final reluctance.

“A long time ago, I enlisted as a Nightmare soldier for a no-dream pill a day.”

Nimeroni acquiesced. The no-dream pill had been concocted a few years after the appearance of Nightmare. As its name suggested, it guaranteed a sleep with no dream, preventing the consumer from being dragged into Nightmare. Around the time it was first discovered, it was common to enlist in exchange for a no-dream a day. The goal was simple: stockpiling the pill while in the army, then retiring and using it to live a life normal enough you could buy the pill another way. But there was also a second custom.

“The pill was to be delivered to someone...”

Mahon paused.

“But you don’t remember who.” Nimeroni completed without much hesitation.

This scenario, albeit uncommon, seemed not unknown to her. “So, let me resume. You once enlisted to help someone, probably dear to your heart, but you died and lost memory of this person. Yet you continued your fight in Nightmare and now that the war is over, you want to find who it was?”

“Sort of, yes. Although the reason I’m looking for it is not to reunite. If I want to start over in Ratho, I need to... be at peace with my past first. Otherwise I cannot move forward.”

Nimeroni eyed him for a second before nodding. “Commendable. It needs courage to be done, but it’s often the best thing to do. I can find the information you’re looking for in the records in a minute. When did you die for the last time?”

“22 years ago.”

Nimeroni froze for a full second before asking again. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Last time I died in Nightmare was 22 years ago.” Mahon repeated.

Nimeroni didn’t hesitate any further, straightening her posture she rushed a Nightmare military salute, the left hand touching the left shoulder.

“Last Red Mahon!”

Mahon sighed. “Not anymore. Down here, I am just another soldier with canes. I told you, Nightmare is over. In fact, you’re higher rank than I am now, so it’s I who shou...” Seeing the horrified look on the woman’s face, he didn’t continue his musing. After a brief silence, he spoke again. “Can you still help me?”

“Yes, Last Red! Immediately!”

Mahon didn’t even try to correct her as she ran away to find the necessary information. She came back less than five minutes later, papers in hand.

“I have found what you’re looking for, Last Red. But it may not be what you are expecting.”

This time Mahon corrected her. “Please don’t address me like that.” Seeing her hesitating, he added with a firmer voice. “Treat it as an order if you need to.” He took a few seconds to make sure she would drop the title and continued. “I expect nothing, so just say what you found.”

“Yes, Las….” She coughed and pursued. “The person you are looking for is a woman named Ashryn. From the report, she was close to two hundred years old back when you enrolled. So around your age, I guess?”

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Like most people, Mahon didn’t know his actual age, but the closest guess he could make was indeed around two hundred years. He was still young, as most humans lived up to a millennium, even in these troubled times. He confirmed her guess with a nod and Nimeroni continued her report.

“There is nothing about her relation to you, could be your sister or your wife… The thing that is mentioned, though, is that she doesn’t remember you. You probably enrolled after she died in Nightmare.”

“Hmm… So I joined Nightmare to save her from another death? But I was already a stranger to her?” Mahon was a bit confused at the weird relation he had with this Ashryn.

“Probably, yes. It seems you chose to take care of her even if she didn’t remember you. But now that you don’t remember her either, the situation is a bit...”

Mahon laughed. “Actually, it’s better for me this way. It means my past doesn’t hold me anymore… Thank you, Nimeroni.”

“It was nothing difficult. And maybe I can still help you? My job is to guide people to a new life, and it seems it’s what you’re looking for, so...”

Mahon thought about her proposition. A weight had been lifted from his shoulder now that he wasn’t stuck with a past relative he knew nothing about and he could move forward unimpeded. Ratho was still an alien world to him and Nimeroni was indeed the perfect person to talk about it.

“I plan to fight Amentiae again. In Ratho this time.”

She seemed surprised. “You’re at the dawn of a new life and yet you just want to go back to war? Are you not tired of fighting them already?” She gestured to his body as if it was proof enough he shouldn’t go fight again.

“I am. And that’s precisely why I need to fight them. If only to spare the next generation from this suffering.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

“You’re alone, trapped in a never ending war. Until someone comes to befriend you. You start opening up. You learn to talk, to laugh… to live. And when the war takes them away from you, you’re even worse than when it started. Even more alone, and yet still trapped in the war. It’s a never-ending cycle. You think it will stop, but it never does. You can try to stay away, cut from the world. But inevitably someone comes and lets you live again. And inevitably the war reaps them from you. Over and over.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that… But to me it seems like a good enough reason not to fight Amentiae again.”

“I don’t want to fight them. But I also don’t want anyone to endure what I’ve been through. That’s why I need to end the war.”

“What?!” Nimeroni took a step back, shocked. “But you can’t!”

This time it was Mahon’s turn to be surprised. “We did it in Nightmare. Why couldn’t we in Ratho?”

“I mean, even if you could end it, you shouldn’t!”

Mahon was at a loss for words in front of Nimeroni’s reaction. “Why fight if not to put an end to this exhausting conflict?”

The silence that followed his declaration seemed to last forever. Mahon didn’t know how to react to the sudden change of mood when his unease was cut short by Nimeroni.

“I’ll forgive you because you seem to be unaware of the way Ratho works, but I’d advise you not to speak about it anymore. Actually, you should abandon such a goal, but coming from Nightmare, you would not believe me. See for yourself how Ratho is at peace with the war, how it helps us remain balanced and make your own judgment.”

Mahon did not understand what she meant, but seeing how serious she was, he decided not to push her with more questions and watched as she twisted her hands, almost saying something a few times but stopping before a word came out of her mouth. She seemed stuck in some kind of internal conflict. In the end, she did add something.

“If fighting Amentiae is what you seek, however, you will have to start from the very beginning. Enroll in a warrior school. Be a First Blue soldier. The more time you have spent in Nightmare, the harder it is to start over in Ratho. Especially for a warrior. Reality and dreams don't really get along. Given your legendary record through Nightmare, the change will bite you really hard.”

Mahon smiled at the prospect of the rough future she presented him. “I believe this cause is worth that much pain and even more.”

She sighed at his determination and gave up changing his mind.

“Do you need any help to build a detailed training plan? You will not have any access to the training facility until you reenlist in the army.”

“No, don’t worry about that. A commander never lacks imagination when it’s about training exercises.”

Nimeroni grimaced, remembering her own training. “I suspected that much.”

They discussed other details Nimeroni thought of until the moment the lesson had to resume.

“Thanks for what you did here, Nimeroni. This day, and all the other days you took care of these men and women.”

“Don’t you want to stay? I will soon talk about the Colors and it’s always fun to watch their reaction when they remember most of it!”

“I wish I could, but I can’t. I have my own Colors to meet and they will be much more boring…”

“You’re meeting the Council?”

“Yes, we need to declare that the war is officially over. One of them at least.”

Mahon resumed his slow walk, and Nimeroni held the door open for him.

“Good luck in your adventures then, Last Red Mahon.”

Mahon smiled at her and began the long journey to the Council. After a week in Ratho, his legs were still not quite reacting to his will. The closer comparison Mahon had found to what he endured was the pain of a forgotten arm under a pillow after a long sleep. The pain, the itches and the odd jerking movements. Albeit amplified multiple times, Mahon was experiencing the same sensations in his legs.

Thinking about it, I did sleep a bit too much without moving them.

He laughed at his own poor joke and bystanders glanced at him with contempt, but he didn’t care in the slightest. He endured the laborious walk until he reached the final obstacle, the huge stairs in front of the imposing building that hosted the Council. The theater-like monument had been there long before Nightmare. Under its massive roof was carved in the white stone “COUNCIL OF THE 12”. It was proof, as if one was needed, of the importance of the Council to the prosperity of mankind.

As he reached the last stair, a guard approached him. He eyed Mahon with a suspicious look and his hand never left the hilt of his sword.

“You’re Mahon?”

“Yes…” Mahon managed to say between two ragged breaths.

The soldier looked at him with contempt and Mahon knew exactly what went through his head. He had just climbed the stairs and yet he was already out of breath. Why would the mighty Council convoke a frail and weak man like himself?

He knew little about Ratho, but Mahon at least knew about the difference between the two military worlds. Ratho warriors and Nightmare warriors, although theoretically from the same army, were utterly different. Where the firsts were fighting in the frontline in plain sight and often interacting with the citizens of Ratho, the seconds were nowhere to be seen and said to sleep every hour of the day.

They both fought Amentiae, but as time went on, with the spreading of the no-dream pill, the Nightmare warriors were seen as nothing more than slackers. A bunch of sleeping good-for-nothings, addicted to memory flush. The distinction between both battlegrounds was sharp and the obvious physical versus mental fighting style was reflecting in ranks too.

Ranks earned in Nightmare meant nothing in Ratho. It seemed stupid as a talented commander could plan his strategies whatever the battlefield, but Ratho warriors did not take well to being led by weak men. In the end, the Council stated that a capable man could start again at the bottom and, if worthy enough, would climb up to his former rank at a fast pace. Thus, Nightmare ranks were only effective in Nightmare.

Strictly speaking, Mahon was not a soldier in Ratho and no one had to call him commander. Still, most of the Council, and some other high ranked, recognized Mahon as the leading Nightmare commander and respected his abilities. That also meant a lot more people treated him like nothing.

The guard spoke to him again, pulling Mahon out of his musing. “Stop daydreaming! The Colors want to see you now. Don’t make them wait.” He then pointed to a door ten steps away and left.

Delaying no longer, Mahon approached the door and pushed it open.