I stood on the floor of the bay in nearly the same position as the camera I'd used to watch Guy and Quick. Commandant De'Lann gestured, and the classroom formed around us, only with regular chairs instead of simulator hookups. She met each of our eyes, to be sure we were home, I guess, before she spoke.

"Much better. Tiamat tells me you used Delnot as a communication node. Excellent. Again, you pulled yourself out of the immediate combat."

"I don't have armor, ma'am. Even if I did, a commander that picks up a gun is soldiering, not commanding." I knew I got the quote wrong, but De'Lann smiled anyhow. It completely failed to take the sting out of Guy's next mutter.

Now that you have hiding in a closet down, you can work on not shouting at me.

I focused all of my willpower on remaining seated and facing forward. I had none left to keep my mouth closed. "Shut it, clutterhead!"

Of course, Commandant De'Lann hadn't heard him. She reacted to my outburst immediately. "What was that, cadet?"

I swallowed my bile and forced a polite smile. "I'm sorry, sir. My mind wandered."

"See that it doesn't wander again." She frowned at me, trying to use silence to force a confession from me, but I try not to make the same mistake twice. Meanwhile Guy's laughter rang in my head, mocking. I couldn't turn him in without calling my ability to command into question. I took the only viable escape route I could think of.

"I had another question, sir."

She stared for another few heartbeats before relenting. "Tiamat, what are Cadet Dabig's medical restrictions?"

"No sensory deprivation. No duties to interfere with daily dodge ball sessions or sessions with Doctor Andrews."

I hid my shudder at the Commandant's evil grin.

"Excellent." She waved her hands, and I realized her slate still floated in the air before her, invisible to the three of us. "Go on with your questions. I'm finalizing plans for the rest of the session."

"How frequently does Tiamat engage enemies directly?"

De'Lann froze, her eyebrow twitching a few times before she returned to her planning. "Tiamat, could you handle this question please?"

"Certainly, Captain." She paused, and I felt the weight of her regard focus upon me. "I do not engage enemies directly. I am a school ship. While the Unity places a high value on combat readiness of all units, we place a higher value on our children. The closest I have come to combat since my assignment as a school ship was at Deep Stand, where all ships' Marines and medical facilities were pressed into service."

"You... don't go into combat?"

A strange mixture of regret and reassurance surged through me. Both soured when Guy coughed, the sound obviously fake. Before I could respond, Quick came to my rescue, the First I wanted, even if I wasn't the Captain who deserved him.

"You need me to walk you to med bay, Cadet Delnot?"

The Commandant paused and just stared at the three of us until Guy answered. "Nah. I'm good. Just a touch of indigestion."

"Yeah, I've heard getting mods too soon can do that. Sorry, Ma'am. Please continue."

"Thank you, Tomas. I am, of course, armed and armored to defend myself if need be. My weapons are slightly under strength for a ship of the line. My ability to withstand punishment is also lower by a similar margin. I like to think my Marine complement more than makes up for it. While numerically I have only one third that of a normal ship of the line, their morale is... frankly I find it terrifying."

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

I blinked at that, questions slipping from my lips before I could think about them. "Why would you find morale frightening? Isn't high morale assumed in the First Dragon?"

I'd heard many things in Tiamat's voice, but never before had she sounded as if she wished she could avoid a subject. "I am the Mother of Dragons, Dustie. I am fiercely proud of each and every one of them, proud when they hold when any other force would break like a dry twig, but..." She stopped in mid-sentence, trailing off into silence. Swift's breathing on my left forced me to awareness of my own held breath. The commandant's interruption took me completely by surprise.

"Please, Tiamat, continue."

An avalanche of air rushed past; Tiamat taking a deep breath herself before speaking. "My crew did not hold. In a maelstrom where the Dragon itself could do naught but claw for every meter, where the finest fighting force in this galaxy could do nothing but hold... they attacked. The moment Grace gave her order they flung themselves into the 'Sects. They did so again, and again, and again, and again. Each and every Dragon born and trained from my hull is precious to me, but... the ones who come back. The ones who choose to come back to me, to have their own children aboard..."

I couldn't stand the sound of tears my ship could never shed. "Tiamat?"

She ignored me. Maybe she didn't even hear me. "Had it not been for my crew's unquenchable valor, Deep Stand would have been lost. Deaths... permanent deaths... among the Dragon were higher in that one battle than any other time in the unit's history. Higher than any other unit in Imperial history, for that matter. More than one Marine signed a Do Not Reincarnate order before returning to the front. Some of them couldn't even force themselves back into their armor, back onto the slaughterhouse floor."

I gasped, but Quick spoke before I could. "Marines... broke?"

The edge of bitterness in Tiamat's words cut harder than any blade, "Everyone remembers Grace's infamous order at Deep Stand. 'Send them in again.' Every Cadet learns about it. The Civilians made a drama about it. Horrible thing. Never watch it. Waste of..." She inhaled again. "Everyone remembers that order. No one remembers the other. It's not as good a sound bite, I guess."

Guy cut into Tiamat's silence. "What order, Ma'am?"

I remembered the shape of my lips as the words passed through, words everyone else would forget. I mouthed them silently as Tiamat spoke them aloud. "'Mea omnia culpa, mea omnia onus. The fault is mine. The burden is mine.' No record was kept of those who could no longer face the fire. No record of the DNR requests of the survivors."

"But Imperial law requires an execution for each desertion." I held myself rigid. If I moved, I would tear Guy's tongue out, augmentation or no. My vision flashed pink, a wash of memories flooding past. I saw them but did not hear. I held to Tiamat's voice, a lifeline to reality.

"There was. After recovering from the punishment decreed by the Empress for defying the Imperial decree regarding cloned reincarnation, Grace received the punishments she ordered upon herself. One for each desertion, one for each unexecuted DNR, one for each force-grown clone reincarnation."

Pink strobes lit the deaths flashing before my eyes, two by two, each original paired with its recreated twin. "Once for every death she caused."

De'Lann's whisper broke the spell, forced me back to myself. "It wasn't enough. It could never be enough."

"I know."

She glared at me, barely seen through the endless parade of carnage. This time I couldn't hold myself silent. "I... have some of her memories, sir. From my father."

WHAT?

For a moment I'd forgotten Guy and Quick. I turned to Guy, my eyes narrowed to tiny slits. "First, I believe the Cadet may need that escort to the med bay."

"No, sir. I'm fine."

"If the Captain says you need a doctor, it's not my call to tell her you don't."

"No, but it is mine." De'Lann interrupted our argument by the simple expedient of stepping into the center of the shallow triangle formed by our desks. Her movement drew our eyes, forcing us to acknowledge her. When all three of us, Guy included, were focused on her, she continued.

"Guy, you chose to remain a Middie. She is your Cadet Captain. Did you forget that?"

His gaze dropped to the floor and his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, sir." He shook his head, arguing with himself for a moment before lifting his gaze to meet the Commandant's again. "I apologize," he shifted his gaze to me, "to both of you. I forgot myself. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." De'Lann stepped back to her invisible slate and tapped a control. "If you're all ready?" We all nodded, hesitant to speak lest we embarrass ourselves by bickering again. "Then we'll begin."

She slid one finger through the air, tapped an invisible control, and the world melted once more.