I hit the ground tumbling and rolling. The tendrils that held my bony legs snapped, scattering them in different directions. As for Fire Crotch—yeah, I went there—she slammed into the ground once, then impressively righted herself with a flap of her wings, landing upright in perfect form. All I could do was begrudgingly admire how badass it looked as I came to a stop, face-first in some unidentifiable muck... which oddly reminded me of the beastkin sewers.

Using my last remaining arm, I tried to right myself, but all I managed was to flip myself onto my back. There, looming above me, was a sneering Orlaith. I had thrown everything I had at the bitch, and she had shrugged it all off every time. Not even the dwarf champion had been this resilient. Groaning, I resorted to unleashing my last resort on us both—Astral Graviton!

Gravity came crashing down, plunging everything into darkness as the last remnants of my pudding flesh were ripped from my bones. Yet, I didn’t let up on my spell, feeling the ambient mana around me swirl and coalesce into it. I would have supercharged it with the dungeon core, but the gaping hole in my chest had sealed up soon after opening—maintaining a void is a bitch when you’re getting your ass kicked. Anyway! As my magic continued its onslaught and I spread across the ground like an oil stain, I struggled to reignite my eye to catch a glimpse of the now battered woman.

Casting two spells simultaneously was challenging, but fortunately, Mana Sight was my simplest and easiest spell to cast. I managed to activate it while under the intense pressure of my gravity spell, though we won’t talk about the killer migraine I now had. To my dismay, the dragon lady was still standing; her wings appeared damaged, and she slumped behind her as if broken—so there was some small victory. I also noticed blood leaking from her nose. Despite that the look on her face was pure fury.

Shhhhiiiiit.

Not wanting to let up on my spell yet eager to be anywhere else, I attempted to scoot away. However, unlike her, I found that I couldn’t move under the intense force of my spell—though, to be fair, she wasn’t exactly moving much either, just standing stoically. Actually, now that I look at her, she sort of looks constipated. Unsure of what else to do, I decided to drop the spell, polymorph into something humanoid—or gnomoid—and take off running as fast as my little legs could carry me.

On the count of three.

…One.

…Two?

…Two and one-tenths.

…Two and two-tenths.

Wouldn’t that be one-fifth?

Does that matter right now? We’re counting time, not fractions.

Fine—three!

Wait, Dream! What happened to three-tenths?

Screw it, let’s just fucking run!

As I released my Astral Graviton spell, I watched in horror as old Fire Crotch drew back her hand, a fireball forming, while I reshaped my body into that of a gnome—I barely had enough mass for that, any less and I might as well have aimed for fairy size. I didn’t wait for either of us to finish our actions before I tried to cast a system skill, silently praying that some mana had been restored. There really should have been some sort of mana indicator, but clearly, whoever designed the system had a raging hatred for numbers. They could have at least included a simple gauge.

Seriously, I could bitch about this all day—where was I? Oh, right!

I activated [Phantasmal Surge] just as Orlaith hurled her fireball at me. It was mere centimeters away when I took off like a jet car on a drag strip, my body fully forming just as I came to a stop. Realizing how screwed I was, my little gnome legs started running before I even began moving, much like a cat scrambling on a slick tiled floor. Gaining traction, I sprinted away as fast as my tiny legs could carry me, putting as much distance between us as possible.

Glancing back, I noticed she had apparently missed the direction I had taken, given the randomness with which she was hurling her fireballs. That just goes to show how fast I can haul ass with my surge skill. However, the random explosions of fire were utterly terrifying as I kept running. Regrettably, Phantasmal Mist had dissipated, and despite my attempts to recast it, it wasn’t working, which underscored why I desperately needed some kind of mana gauge for my system skills.

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Shit. Shit. Shit!

Fire bad!

Um, Nightmare, what’s with the Frankenstein impression?

It’s Frankenstein’s monster! Frankenstein was the scientist. Geez, why can’t people get that right?

I turned my head back forward only to slam right into something hard, splattering my face against it—which made me wish I’d taken a fraction of a second to weave a skull. Using both of my tiny arms, I pushed with all my might to peel my face off it. As I did, my vision cleared, and I realized I slammed into something that was shiny and red, almost like scales—no, it was scales! My head slowly drifted up, my eyes tracing over the expanse of red scales until I realized it was a dress, and—

Oh, shit, it’s dragon lady!

Shit. Shit. Shit!

How did she catch up to us?

Shit. Shit. Shit!

Staring in horror, I noticed all the damage I had inflicted on her had disappeared. She was completely healed, her wings outstretched and imposing. Heck, I didn’t even see any burn marks from my Blightning. I tried to use surge, but it refused to activate. The last Phantasmal Surge had depleted my already low system mana, and apparently, I hadn’t regained enough back for another burst of speed.

Well, at least we can respawn.

I wonder how mom’s doing?

Oh, I can’t wait to sit down and eat with her again.

Refusing to be sent for another respawn without a fight, I opened a tiny hole in my chest to the void, letting mana flood out from the dungeon core as I prepared to cast a Blightning attack right at her crotch. I would have aimed for the face, but I barely stood knee-high to her, so the most imposing target within my line of sight was her coochie. I just hoped I could unleash my spell before she incinerated me with fire.

However, things didn’t go as planned. Orlaith moved faster than I could comprehend. She dropped to a knee and shot her hand straight into my hole. I screamed as I felt her twist her arm inside me, burning and scorching my insides without even casting fire magic.

Somehow, she had managed to reach into Stellar Void, something I hadn’t been able to do since I last experimented with the spell. I wanted to fight back, wanted to whip her with tentacles infused with Disintegration, but the sheer pain had rendered me rigid.

In a low, raspy voice punctuated by harsh coughs, I managed to spat out, “You better not have given me gonorrhea.” I paused to suppress another bout of coughing, then forced a shit-eating grin and added, “That shit’s the worst.”

Orlaith scoffed, “You’re an abomination that deserves to be eradicated from existence.” A dark smile crept across her face as she leaned close to my own and whispered, “A good thing my divinity can cast Soul Flame.” With that, she ripped her hand out, causing me to scream once more as I collapsed to the ground.

I could feel half my body deforming as if I had suffered a stroke. Staring up at the woman with only half a face, I noticed she held a broken cock ring, which she sneered at before tossing it aside. I wanted to laugh; however, that ended with a scream as she plunged both of her arms down deep into my gaping hole.

As soon as it started, she pulled back, leaving me panting for air as jitters of pain rippled throughout my essence. I coughed out, “Double-fisting without even asking me out first?”

Orlaith ignored my quip as she examined a normal ring in one hand, raising an eyebrow before discarding it. Then, my heart sank as she raised her other hand, which held a softball-sized, shiny black orb.

A smile filled with satisfaction, malice, and the promise of pain spread across her face as she gazed down at me, seeing me as nothing but utter trash. Behind that smile, a glowing orange light emanated as she opened her mouth. I wanted to fight back, to unleash spell after spell, but I felt utterly drained. Sadly, I had nothing left. Despite this, I refused to close my eyes—well, eye; the other had deformed to where I couldn’t see out of it.

“Any last words?” Orlaith chuckled, her mouth glowing ominously as she spoke.

“Yep!” I coughed out with a sour laugh. “You’re a total cunt.”

Dragon lady’s sneer replaced the smile on her face. She opened her mouth wide, the light inside it growing intensely bright. I could feel the heat singeing my body as I braced for the end. Just then, a shadow washed over us, and Orlaith paused, her eyes darting upward. Curious, I followed her gaze to the sun, watching as it slowly disappeared behind one of Völuspá’s countless moons. Orlaith snapped her head back to me, looking as though in a rush, her mouth widened as flames spilled out—at that moment, a massive translucent green war hammer slammed into the side of her jaw, sending her blasting away with a sonic boom.

“What the fuck?” I whispered in disbelief, my eyes tracing the path of the hammer back to its wielder, who was still materializing as if stepping out from another plane of existence into ours at just the last moment to save my sorry ass. “Why does everything always have to happen in the nick of time?” I groaned at the spirit. “Why couldn’t you have saved me like, I don’t know, five minutes ago?”

Despite my bitching, the mysterious spirit remained silent. However, as I glanced around, I saw more figures beginning to emerge around me, each shimmering in translucent green.

“What’s going on?” I whispered.

I heard footsteps approaching and turned what was left of my body in their direction, pausing as I noticed Sophia standing there. Something was different about her, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what.