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Blair - A LitRPG Apocalypse - Book 3 Stubbed!
Chapter. 7: Bitter Realization: Unrequited Struggle

Chapter. 7: Bitter Realization: Unrequited Struggle

I shook my head, it was pointless to think about the past. All I could do was think about my mistakes and not repeat them. But, now it wasn’t time for me to think. It was the time to survive. I knew I couldn’t kill the Knell Boar, but I had to at least scare it away. I aimed for its head but at that moment, it pounded the tree trunk. The string left my fingers prematurely from the fear of losing my footing..

The arrow zipped through the air, grazing its ear, embedding itself deep into its fur. The Knell Boar flinched and dug its claws onto the ground. Dust billowed forth. With a mighty roar and aura around its forelegs, it pounded the tree once more. Wood debris exploded as the trunk creaked. My heart pounded faster as I struggled to properly nock an arrow, the sinking feeling of my mistake returned like a looming threat. I aimed and shot. The arrow narrowly missed its eye and struck its shoulder blade. A cry of pain came along with a flinch, but it wasn’t enough.

The boar backed off as I prepared yet another arrow. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself, and aimed at its eye properly. If I took away its vision, then⁠— The boar charged, and my aim traced its linear path. The string snapped forth with pain that flared through my fingers. The silvery streak passed through the air and drew blood. But in spite of losing an eye, there was only a grunt of discomfort. Next came a bright orange flash⁠— it rammed into the tree. Creak after creak echoed in my ears, the trunk wobbled and toppled forward as I struggled to not fall outright. My mind rushed for answers as more wood snapped beneath me. A sea of trees encroached upon me as the ground came closer⁠— The trees.

With the feeble grip of my leather boots, and nothing but hopeful survival in my heart, I jumped to the nearest tree. For a brief moment I felt as if I was flying before hitting the trunk and clinging on for my life. I could probably take the fall, but not with something that wanted to kill me so close. The other tree fell as the branches and everything in its path snapped. Pain flared through my skin from the friction of my landing, the gritty tree bark and the fact that I held onto my bow did not do me any favors. Like a critter; weaving through the branches and leaves I found a new foothold. I looked towards the boar, only to see it searching and sniffing the air. It was meant to be a brief method of respite, but instead I used it to analyze my situation.

To continue or not to continue fighting? I bit my lip. The logical thing to do was to clearly just escape and run away now that it was distracted, but… I wasn’t okay with that. The thought of retreating after injuring it was… humiliating. I was the one who started it⁠—

[Blair!] Glim called out for the millionth time. This time however, I actually looked at it. [Finally! Listen to me! As your SGA it is my duty to tell you it isn’t worth it! Just look, you can run now and come back to kill it later. Once you’re stronger! If you attempt it now in your current condition the likelihood of you dying is sky-high!] Glim pleaded, but I shook my head. Hearing it, I couldn’t help but feel anger. The more he talked the angrier I got. [Blair, listen to me! You have a bright future ahead, once this whole planet thing is over, once this⁠— everything is over. If you keep up your current growth and mentality, you⁠— you’ll be at least⁠—] He shook. [It will be a life of luxury in the future!]

“If I run away now, then it would be as if nothing changed.” I gnashed my teeth in a whisper. “It would be the same as being in that bush and watching my home be burnt. The same as watching my fellow kin die.” I took a deep breath and raised my bow. ”I cannot do that. I cannot go back to that.”

Every logical part of my being told me how reckless I was being, but the sheer thought of running away reminded me of the ashes falling from the sky. Reminded me of the powerlessness I felt at that moment. I am not the same Blair as before. The arrow was ready to be fired. I am different now, I am… stronger. I narrowed my eyes looking at the Knell Boar and waited.

The beast sniffled the air, my bow string trembled from the built up tension. Just wait a bit more. My target ⁠— the Knell Boar ⁠— turned around and sniffled in my direction before looking up and locking his single eye onto me. At that moment, my muscles tensed and I felt the world slow down, it was subtle but it was enough. I felt as if my next shot was going to be perfect. I fired.

The arrow streaked through a branch and spun midair, in an instant it connected with the nuzzle of the Knell Boar, right through its nose. It shrieked and staggered, blood spluttered forth as I drew back the string with another arrow ready. The beast shook to try to get rid of the arrow stuck in its face, but to no avail. I shot once more feeling the same confidence as before. The arrow passed and nailed the back of its throat. It attempted to roar but to no avail. It clawed its face to try to remove the arrow. I can do it. I smiled.

The arrow in its nose was removed with a tug from its claws, blood gushed forth as its limbs trembled. But at that moment, it looked back at me, and his tusks emitted an orange glow. I fired another arrow aiming for its remaining eye. The Knell Boar flicked with his tusk and the arrow exploded into tiny metal splinters, giving me pause. It’s going to charge again. The beast charged, but in a different direction⁠— What? It crashed against a nearby tree, over half of its trunk depth splintered away, felling it in an instant.

It continued and it hit another tree, destroying it much the same. It locked into the nearest tree to that one. I drew a sharp breath realizing what it was doing ⁠— It was destroying all the nearby trees ⁠— perhaps it wasn’t its goal at all, and it was too crazed to do anything, but I wasn’t going to risk it. I nocked an arrow and aimed at its weakest visible spot, the neck. As soon as I locked in on it, the string was let go. The arrow zipped, and hit its neck but the beast didn’t even flinch as it rammed into yet another tree.

I grunted and prepared another arrow.

◇ ◇ ◇

Blood stained the grass in a deep crimson. Arrow after arrow was fired, to no avail. No matter how many arrows were embedded into its body, tree after tree fell. Its momentum didn’t stop. My heart beat faster and faster as I realized that I was running out of arrows. No matter how much I fired, no matter how many injuries it got, it simply kept its momentum. Until finally, the nearest tree I could reasonably jump to fell. It slowly turned towards me.

I am done for. Those were the only words in my mind as I aimed another arrow. The beast rushed as I let go of the bowstring. Its tusks began to glow once more, though I noticed they were beginning to crack. Not like I could do anything with the information. I fired. The boar dodged. The arrow missed and pierced into its thigh, its charge not stopping in the slightest. As I nocked another arrow, the tree shook as splinters flew from beneath. I aimed as the trunk began to topple, and fired once more. The arrow flew and hit its shoulder blade, but it did not change anything as its red eye stared at me with all the rage in the world. I removed my quiver and held it within my hand as well as its arrows. The tree fell down. I jumped and rolled, making sure to not lose arrows.

I looked towards the boar only to see it charging at me, with its mouth wide open. I passed my quiver through my right arm, and with an arrow in hand I aimed once more. The arrow was shot, hitting its throat and causing it to stagger. However, it recovered quickly and upon locking its eye on me, it seemed to make a resolution as it snorted orange light. Once again its tusks began to glow, and not a second later it broke into a charge. I couldn’t fire another arrow. I swung the bow over my shoulder, and dodged to my left. The quiver dangled. In a split second I saw its eye narrow and a sharp turn was made. The boar hit the quiver and me included with lingering momentum. I saw the quiver bend from the strength, and soon the remainder of the impact hit me.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Shock traveled through my body, weightlessness took over as I went flying my entire arm throbbed in pain⁠— numbed in its entirety. How did its charge hurt this much⁠— I caught my thoughts as I realized that trees were getting destroyed with a single charge. A brief period of realization ensued as I hit the ground, my body rolled with pain rebounding throughout. My right arm was numb, though not broken. What was I thinking? My confidence, and my resolution to fight evaporated in an instant. I stopped the rolling and hastily stood up, looking around. A thirty-meter clearing was devoid of trees, only its stumps left in its stead. Splinters and trunks littered the ground, and in the middle of it. The Knell Boar turned towards me. My blood ran cold.

If I run away now, then it would be as if nothing changed. I remembered the things I told Glim. But now I felt as if I was awake. No longer drunk with my own capabilities.

I had grown stronger, but it didn’t mean I was invincible. I took a deep breath to try to think rationally, quickly realizing that my only choice was to run away. I had no arrows, and fighting the Knell Boar with my knife was nothing but suicidal. The same choice that would’ve made me scoff minutes ago, was now as sweet as honey. There is nothing wrong with running away. As the boar charged, I turned around and began to run.

It followed after me, its pace slightly faster than mine. Was it too late? I asked myself as branches cracked under our feet. And then I saw more trees, it was a forest. I had an idea. One that would’ve made me want to cry a few minutes before.

I ran into a tree, and narrowly sidestepped it, only grazing it with my arm. Sudden burning pain flared, and the echo of broken wood reached my ears. Perhaps… I could run should it get tired after breaking so many trees.

Minutes passed. Dozens of trees fell as my condition worsened. My entire being couldn’t help but blame itself for my situation. A situation that I had created myself. A situation that never would’ve happened if I didn’t thirst for levels so much. I knew why I had stopped aiming at its eye⁠— It didn’t work the first time. But it was deeper. I didn’t want to blind it, I didn’t want to run from it.

I panted and the boar did not seem to be stopping. I circled a tree as the boar struggled to keep up with me from the turn. The trees had clearly started to get less damaged as they took more and more time to fall. But, so what? It only made it much more hazardous, and the chase much more perilous. Being crushed to death would surely kill me⁠— it would kill the boar too! Kill the boar? I circled yet another tree. It seemed fixated on chasing me to the ends of eternity, it would not let go of me no matter what. The problem was how to get a tree to fall on it?

No matter how I thought about it, there was no way for it to stop, unless it included me getting injured in some way. I slipped as I tried to dodge once more, the boar rammed into the tree narrowly missing me. Splinters flew in every direction as I quickly made a decision inside my head. Is this how I am going to die? I turned around and gripped onto my knife, and before it could begin charging, I lunged at its head. The tree creaked, and its tusks flicked upwards piercing my stomach with small resistance. I gnashed my teeth from the pain and stabbed its other eye with the knife.

The boar shrieked, using its temporary stagger I managed to climb onto its neck. Arrows filled its body, but that didn’t matter. I stabbed its neck, feeling incredible resistance before piercing. It continued to bellow in pain as it tried to throw me off. As my knife sliced through its neck the tree began to fall. My heart rushed as I tried to remove the knife, it was stuck. The boar jumped as I was letting go of the knife. Its orange-clad tusk banged my left arm, a mighty snap resounded through the forest, and with a cloud of dust, the tree fell, a death squeal resounded along with it.

My head felt dizzy, and my vision was blurred as I looked ahead. I could see the silhouette of the tree, and as it cleared the Knell Boar was slammed between it and the ground. It panted heavily as blood pooled. It wasn’t dead? I felt nervousness as I approached it. In its reflection I saw me⁠—

A dark elf girl, trembling with blood all over her face and arms. My golden eyes stared full of tears and despair, and my raven hair disheveled. Nothing had changed. I grabbed the dagger with some struggle, feeling the shaking from my right arm, and stabbed⁠— stabbed, stabbed⁠— stabbed. I was the same girl. I was powerless. I was a nobody. Revenge against the elves? When I was going to get myself killed by an animal just because I was too impulsive? I continued stabbing with tears in my eyes.

I didn’t know how long it passed, but eventually it drew its final breath.

[You have killed: (D) Knell Boar. Lvl. 7]

A dry laugh left my lips as the level ups came.

[For killing a being of a higher order bonus experience has been rewarded. Bonus added to Quest targets.]

[Level up: You have achieved level 4.]

[Level up: You have achieved level 5.]

[Level up: You have achieved level 6.]

Normally the levels would’ve been a joyous surprise, but this time around I couldn’t help but laugh, only laugh, dry and bitter. I had gotten a Feat too and something else, but I ignored them. I laughed and collapsed on my legs. Exhaustion washed over me.

How could I be so stupid?

Things filled my mind, but in the end all I did was look at the sky. I shouldn’t have gotten rewarded. I stared at the ground and began to sob. I almost died. I was scared. Mother, Father, please forgive this daughter of yours for almost dying. I could almost see their worried faces. I stared at the levels once again.

Just what was I thinking? Hadn’t I listened to The System too easily? Every part of my being had told me it was the key to revenge. It was the key to do everything and achieve impossibility. And perhaps that was the truth. I looked at the Knell Boar once again. But I wasn’t going to achieve anything going about things like this.

Why hadn’t I just listened to Glim? I asked myself, I had lost track of it. I missed Glim…

Light gathered to my side and a ball came to be. [Fret not, I am here!] It chirped with all the enthusiasm in the world. [Eh, what happened to you? Oh right, Knell Boar! I told you it was a D-rank beast and you ignored me. Most of its stats are double yours, you know!]

Normally I would’ve scoffed, but I just nodded at Glim. I was stupid.

[You’re lucky you’re not dead!] It finally said in reprimand.

“I know,” I cried. “I know...” I stared at my bloodied fingers, tears running through my eyes. What had happened to me? I wanted to survive and I wanted to enact revenge. But⁠— why did I never run when given the chance? Not just now, but before too. I had changed, but perhaps, it wasn’t for the best.

[Please Blair, stop crying! This impulsiveness of yours isn’t abnormal, most integrated have the same issue. The System urges you to be stronger. It’s only natural it offers mental assistance.]

I paused. It what?

Glim bobbed up and down repeatedly, shaking as it did so. [Yes, don’t worry about it! It was classified information, but after Voting Interference it was allowed! So, just calm down and things will go back to normal! Now that you know the issue, you can just relax, right?]

Normal? That was… normal? Relax? I felt rage building up inside me as my crying ceased.

“You… brainwashed me?”

[No, no! It’s simple assistance! It just amplifies your desires and suppresses your fears! Nothing else nothing more! Please trust me on this one.] Glim pleaded, and a sigh left me feeling unsure about what it was saying. Could I really blame The System? I did not feel manipulated.

What was this world, what was… The System? Perhaps Glim was lying, perhaps it wasn’t, I could never know.

[I am not lying!]