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Blades of Honor
Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

All too soon training with Mathieu was done and they were eating dinner. It had been hard enough getting through their usual training. JiYeong hadn’t slept well that night, anxiety about the upcoming Council meeting and dreams of Mathieu refused to allow her to rest.

She was still so distracted that she didn’t notice Mathieu watching as she poked at her food. He cleared his throat. “JiYeong.”

“Hm?”

“Eat your food.”

“I am.” She made a point of stabbing a carrot and sticking it in her mouth, though she chewed slowly, not really tasting the food.

“JiYeong.”

Her gaze remained firmly on her plate, poking at the meatloaf. Mathieu reached out, placing his hand on hers gently to still the actions. “Look at me.”

A jolt went through her hand at the contact and she started, retracting almost immediately. It didn’t get very far, Mathieu’s grip tightening.

“Why are you out of it? You were falling behind more than usual during our run and I nearly took your head off just a bit ago.” Mathieu squeezed JiYeong’s hand when she looked away from him again and she sucked in a breath, wanting desperately to pull away. Her heart was wreaking havoc in her chest and she was afraid if she didn’t escape now it would burst. "Is it the meeting?"

She nodded wordlessly, even if he wasn’t right on the mark. She was worried about the meeting. There would be so many faces there that she didn’t know, and that meant more people she had to play a part in front of. As if that weren’t nerve-wracking enough.

But JiYeong had come to terms with that.

What she had not come to terms with was her fast-growing affection for the Prince sitting across from her. It was hard enough crushing on a regular person. She wasn’t good enough for someone of Mathieu’s standing. Not as Champion and certainly not as herself. And what if he found out she was lying? Nothing good would come of it.

“I will be there every step of the way.” Came his promise. “Starting tonight. Though if your dancing is as good as your footwork during practice we have our work cut out for us.”

JiYeong felt her heart rate double in speed and she let out a breath.

That was another problem. Training with him by fighting was one thing. Her skin still tingled when he touched her, but his touches never lingered for more than a few seconds. It was easy to manage her attraction to him while sparring.

With dancing, he wouldn’t be fighting her. He would be holding her. For prolonged periods of time. How was she supposed to handle that?

JiYeong let out another sigh, finally raising her eyes to look at Mathieu. He seemed genuinely concerned, and it was yet another discomforting thing. She could deal with liking him when she knew he only tolerated her. But the last few weeks were teasing her with the thought that maybe he felt more. That maybe his soft touches and warm attitude were more than just friendship.

The question was, could she handle more?

“JiYeong.”

“I’m going to go get ready.” She pulled her hand away again, both relieved and conflicted when he allowed the move this time.

Mathieu leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he watched her practically run away from him. "Was it something I said?"

Shiloh, who'd been standing off to the side, chuckled. "No, I don't think it was." She retrieved JiYeong's mostly in tact plate, shaking her head. "I think Lady JiYeong is realizing some things she wasn't aware of before. She will be alright."

"Realizing some things?" Mathieu grabbed his own plate, standing. His brows were furrowed. "What could she be realizing to make her flee like that?"

Shiloh simply took his plate from him, patting him gently on the shoulder. "I wouldn't worry too much about it."

⚔⚔⚔

JiYeong sank into the water, blowing bubbles. She hadn't meant to run from Mathieu during dinner, but she hadn't known what else to do. She sighed, ducking her head beneath the water. He was probably confused and would want an explanation. JiYeong wasn't so sure she had one to give.

Other than she liked him. A lot. More than a lot. And she didn't know if that was a good thing.

"Are you still in the water, Miss?" Luvie asked as JiYeong resurfaced.

"Can't I just not go to training tonight? I'm sure I'll be fine."

Luvie simply giggled, grabbing a towel and gesturing for JiYeong to get out of the bath. "But Shiloh had such a pretty new dress made for you. I'm sure she wants to see you in it."

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

JiYeong groaned at the prospect of wearing a dress but padding obediently behind Luvie anyway.

The dress was really pretty, still in the same style as the black one she'd worn before. It was a deep purple color with lace on the bottom, though it was a bit wider than the other dress was. Her hair was left down, curling as it dried.

Somehow she felt more exposed in the layers of clothes she had on than usual.

Once she was dressed she headed to the library where Shiloh was waiting in there with a big book. Mathieu stood off to the side, leaning against the wall with his arms folded and his legs crossed. He had changed as well, in a pair of dark blue pants and a black fitted shirt, gold lining his collar and the cuffs of his sleeves. His hair was loose as well, his curls hanging around his shoulders and in his eyes.

Her heart slammed into her chest at the sight of him and she let out a breath, forcing her eyes to move to where Shiloh was.

“What’s this?” JiYeong asked, gesturing to the stacks of books sitting on the table.

“Ah Lady JiYeong. I figured seeing as you’ve been trained as a warrior, you probably haven’t learned much about proper etiquette. I’ve noticed you tend to slouch when you walk and sit, and you don’t wear heels.” Shiloh smiled at JiYeong’s soft huff of disagreement, walking over to the Champion. She had a pair of heels in her hands that JiYeong hadn’t noticed before. “Here, change shoes. We’re going to practice walking with them.”

“Are you trying to get me to break my neck?” JiYeong questioned as she took the shoes. She slipped out of her flats, attempting to lean against the table to put on the heels.

She didn’t hear Mathieu approach until he was holding out a hand to her. “Here, hold on to me. You’re going to topple over putting the shoes on that way.”

JiYeong tried not to let the fact that he’d startled her show as she muttered a thank you, using his hand to steady herself as she slipped into the shoes. Almost immediately after pulling away JiYeong stumbled, not used to the added height the heels gave her.

Mathieu caught her easily by the elbow, chuckling. “Careful.”

“Thanks.” JiYeong breathed, moving away again. She turned away from his questioning gaze, looking to see Shiloh smiling knowingly at her. “What?”

“Oh nothing. Come, take a few turns around the room.”

JiYeong sighed and did as instructed, keeping her eyes on the ground as she walked for fear of taking a wrong step and twisting her ankle. She heard Shiloh “tsk” from behind and suddenly the Sylph was next to her, taking her chin into her hand.

“Head up, Lady JiYeong. You can’t walk staring at the ground.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to being five inches off the ground.” The walking began again once Shiloh moved away, JiYeong trying her hardest to keep her eyes in front of her. She was still walking incredibly slow but at least she wasn’t staring at her feet anymore. Of course, that meant she was very much aware of Mathieu watching her, and she lowered her head to avoid his gaze.

“Ahh there you go again.” Shiloh clucked her tongue, motioning for JiYeong to stop walking. The books were in her hands and before she could protest, they were placed on top of JiYeong’s head. “There. Try walking now.”

“You’re trying to kill me.” JiYeong huffed, stretching her arms out to steady herself as she felt the books begin to wobble.

“You need to learn to keep your head up. Not only are you a Champion, you are a lady, and that commands some respect.” Shiloh touched JiYeong’s chin gently, meeting her eyes. “You won’t get that if you appear to be weak and feeble. Eyes forward, JiYeong.”

Almost an hour was spent just walking. By the time JiYeong was ready to call it quits Shiloh clapped her hands together, startling the poor girl and causing the books to topple onto the ground.

“We can practice again tomorrow. For now, let us switch our focus to learning the first dance. It is a simple waltz, so it should not take long for you to learn.”

JiYeong slowly gathered the books off the ground, trying to stall for time. While she didn’t want to continue walking in circles, she would rather that than dancing with the Prince. Unfortunately, he’d already pushed off the wall and was walking towards her.

Shiloh started the music from a small music box JiYeong hadn’t noticed and smiled softly. “I will return momentarily. There is something I need to take care of. Prince Mathieu, can I trust Lady JiYeong to you?”

Mathieu gave a slight nod. Shiloh bowed, slipping out of the room.

JiYeong forced herself not to hesitate, taking Mathieu’s outstretched hand and letting him pull her close. Acting weird now would raise too many questions, and trying to explain how she had somehow come to develop feelings for him either though any type of romance probably wasn’t a good idea did not sound like her idea of a fun time.

He moved her hand so that it rested on his shoulder, the other in his hand. He let his free hand fall to her waist, tugging her close to him.

“The waltz is not hard to learn. Follow my lead.” He murmured, pushing her back gently. His hand on her waist tightened just a bit when she stumbled. “Step with your right foot back, feet together.” He moved her to the left. “Left foot to the side, feet together.” He pushed her back again, repeating the steps over and over. “It’s like swordplay. Keep your movement light.”

JiYeong kept her eyes focused on her feet as she followed his steps. Even though he was moving slowly, the heels were still hard to move in. “Can I just stand on your feet all night?”

Mathieu laughed. “No, you cannot. As much as I would love to have your attention the entire night, I am sure there will be others who will require your attention more.”

JiYeong felt her face grow hot at his words and she nearly tripped. He pulled her closer to him, his hand on her chin. “Eyes up, Champion.”

Her eyes met his and she sucked in a breath. The intensity in his eyes caused her heart rate to pick up and she gasped, instinctively taking a step back. They’d stopped dancing. When she wasn’t sure. It seemed like everything was moving way too quickly. She couldn’t wrap my head around the situation.

“Mathieu.” Her hand clenched his shirt. His eyes were on her lips, but at the sound of his name, he met her eyes again. “W-we should be dancing.”

A small smile touched his lips at her stutter. “We should.” But he didn’t start dancing again. Instead, he leaned down until his lips were close enough to hers that she could feel his breath.

She was conflicted.

On one hand, she wanted him to close the gap. On the other, JiYeong was terrified of what would come next. If they kissed, then what? A relationship couldn’t be possible in the long run, could it? He would go back to being Lord Knight eventually, and she would find a way home.

Or have to learn to live in Allumia if home wasn’t an option. And then what?

Would they be able to continue on like nothing happened? Would she want that? Would he? Or would he want more?

At his questioning gaze, JiYeong stiffened, pulling away from her. “I’m sorry.” Her heart plummeted to her stomach at the flash of hurt in his eyes and she forced herself to look away before she changed her mind.

It was better this way. Neither of them would get too invested, neither would get hurt. It had to be this way.

Right?

Another step backward, and then she turned and ran from him for the second time that day.