Chills.
My body feels…chills.
Why won't the trembling stop……
Why can't I hold my sword the way I want it to?
Why am I like this?
"All right, sword sucker. Here's your time to shine. Go check if it's clear to go outside," Marko shoved me from behind. "You're not hesitating again are you?"
In front of me were the exit doors of the building. One step out leads back into the open battlefield. Echos of gunfire spread across the area and the air grew tense with the aura of violence and hostility.
This is all just virtual…right? Why would I be so afraid?
"SWORD SUCKER! JUST GO ALREADY, DUMBASS!"
"S-Sorry!"
I hammered my chest with a hard pound and bit my lip to the point where I could taste blood.
Just do it!
Taking one step outside the doors, I quickly looked around my surroundings. It's unusually quiet. Not a single soul in sight. I continued to stay vigilant, I can't let anyone get the jump on us again!
………
After a good 10 seconds, I signaled the rest of my squad a thumbs-up and they started to move out.
"Heh. No people yet? How boring!" Marko said. "Why don't we just rush over to those sounds?!"
"Sounds like a genius plan! Let's go kill some more enemies!" Ryan perked his glasses up.
Fenris kept quiet and nodded his head.
Another chance to redeem myself. I have to get a kill this time!
The closest sounds seemed to be coming from the east, so we quickly ran towards that direction, with me leading the charge.
Everyone behind me is lagging from a distance, they're forcing me to lead the charge alone. It can’t be helped. I was pretty useless earlier, so it's not like I've done anything good enough to complain. But do they really have to treat me like a dispensable decoy?
Stay alert, Lars. Now’s not the time to be thinking about this. I need to keep my eyes peeled. One wrong move and I lose my chance in this exam.
Look. Observe. Where could they be hiding?
A glimpse. It was all I needed. A lone soldier had crossed paths with me. Our eyes stared into each other for a moment, before the first movement could occur.
He swiped his gun, pointing it towards me, fumbling to shoot. But he was right in melee range…enough for me to land a hit……
I can…..
React!
However, I hesitated. Instead of slashing him, I dove away from his line of vision and evaded the gunshots, choosing to hide behind an old rusted down car instead.
W-Why? Why didn’t I choose to finish him off? I could have done it! But. But. But. But! I was afraid! Afraid of getting shot at! Afraid of messing up the strike! Afraid of being too slow!
I blew it……
No, I can’t give up! As if I’ll let it end this way!
Peeking from my cover, I saw the soldier escaping into the window of a building.
“LARS! YOU IDIOT! You let him get away!”
“Sorry….” I muttered. "I’ll make up for my blunder! I promise!"
"Yeah, right."
I pushed my calves to go into overdrive, propulsing myself across the ground and rushing towards the building. Using the momentum I had built up, I leapt over the window and made my way inside a hallway littered with fragments of stone, dirt and concrete. My shoes crushed against the rubble as I made my way forward.
At the very end of it, was a corner turning to the right. Before deciding to make the turn, I leaned my head slightly to peek, only to meet bullets from the other side. I hid myself at the edge of the corner and clicked my tongue.
How am I supposed to get close to him?
"S-Stay back! I know you're just using a sword. So don't even bother coming close!" the soldier said.
"Tch….."
My stomach started to swirl, knowing that I couldn't get a chance to kill him. I dug my fingernails towards the wall and squeezed my lips.
Can I not really do anything?
"I've distracted the enemy…." I whispered in the comms. "He's focused on the left side of the building."
"I know that already! No need to tell me, idiot!" Marko yelled.
Bang!
I peeked again and saw the soldier with a hole on his forehead, before falling to the ground lifeless. Behind him was a window where Marko was standing outside.
"Woohoo! Headshot! I'm the best!" he said, gesturing a checkmark below his chin.
The squad entered the building through the window, with Ryan kicking away the corpse.
"Predicting where the enemy planned on escaping, you're such a genius!" Ryan said.
"Just the right place at just the right time! Of course, I can do it! Unlike the braindead sword sucker who stood by being useless!"
"H-Hey, I helped by distracting him, right? He had his back turned on you because of it."
"Shut up, decoy. That doesn't even count as helping. Didn't even do any damage!"
"But-"
"You have no right to be talking back to Marko. Know your place, trash," Ryan said and spat on the floor.
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
I looked away and gritted my teeth, but I quickly switched it up and forced myself to keep quiet.
We climbed over to the highest part of the building, where one could see a view of some of the areas around the city. I decided to click on the map icon at the bottom of my vision. A square screen appeared in front of me, revealing all of the places we could go to. Construction Site, Hospital, Beach Town, Lighthouse, Residentials, Mall, Resort, School, Forest, and the Towers.
Many areas had exclamation marks…what does this mean?
The Zone Purge has begun. The areas marked in exclamation marks will now be purged. Anyone who does not leave those areas in 5 minutes will be eliminated.
“Tsk, Towers has been marked! Let’s move on, quickly!” Marko said.
“Where do we go?” Ryan asked.
Towers, the area we were in has been marked. The only other places that were marked were the Residentials, the Resort and the Mall. I believe that the best place to camp out would be……
“The Hospital sounds like a good place-”
“Shut up. No one asked for your opinion, sword sucker,” Marko shut me down. “We’re going to the Forest.”
“But, maybe we can find healing supplies there!”
“We’re not interested in healing up. We’re all in good health. Oh, wait. No one cares how low your health is. You’re useless anyway.”
I looked at my health status. 65/100. I guess this isn’t so bad….I’ll have to make do with it……
A hero must go through such adversities! Even when at a disadvantage, they always find a way to wing it! If I can’t even do that, how do I expect to become one?!
“The forest is the best place because….there’s a lot of gunfire coming from that area!” Ryan said.
“Exactly! Time for me to rack up some more kills!” Marko said.
"That's too reckless…won't there be too many to handle?"
They ignored my words and started going downstairs. Of course they wouldn't listen to me.
Leaving the building, we ran straight towards the closest path to the forest. The banging echoes only grew louder as we went farther and farther away from the Towers.
I clutched my heart once more and tried to balance my breathing.
Breathe…..1….2….3….Concentrate your breathing. Calm your senses. Keep it together, Lars!
After a bit of running, the sight of tall wooden trunks and lush green leaves had finally reached our eyes. We eventually came to a stop, standing right in front of the forest and gazing right into the verdant abyss.
“Well, what are you waiting for, sword sucker?! Lead the way!” Marko said.
I took a deep breath and ran into the woods.
Listen attentively. Track down the gunshots. Get your head in the game. If my body won’t act the way I want it to, then I’ll force it! Focus……erase any thoughts of anxiety!
BANG!
A sound….no…..multiple sounds, coming from the east.
I ran over to check the source. The squad followed me from behind and we decided to hide underneath some bushes. From there, we watched the fight that was currently taking place.
People were running around the trees, trying to shoot their opponents down. They shifted from cover to cover, evading gunfire and countering with some of their own. Bullets crossed against each other and people started dropping on the floor. Each person wanted to outplay the other, but there would always be someone else who would interfere.
It’s like they’re all from different teams.
“Heh, looks like all of them are just remnants of other squads. It’s easy to see how no one seems to be teammates with all the chaos running around,” Marko said.
“Yep, this is a good chance!” Ryan said.
“Fenris….go hide and support us from the back,” Marko said. “Sword sucker, go jump in there and distract everyone. We’ll follow from behind.”
Seriously?
“Can’t we just wait for the right time? It’s too wild out there! Why don't we just search for any blind spots or openings for an ambush?” I tried to reason with him once more.
“Stop whining and get out!”
“Wait!”
Marko shoved me outside of the bush, causing me to enter the battlefield tripping on the ground.
“Ouch!”
I looked forward and saw a person aiming his gun at me from a distance.
“Shi-”
BANG BANG BANG!
I rolled myself to avoid the incoming gunfire, but some of the bullets had made contact with my body. My vision started to blink red again, indicating that my health had decreased to a mere 50/100.
I quickly lifted myself off the ground and started running like crazy.
“I’m not ready for this!”
Another person chased after me from the side and started shooting, prompting me to run around and the tree between us to avoid his bullets. He tried to catch me from the other side, but I went the opposite direction. We had a momentary stalemate, wherein we circled around the tree, but were unable to make contact with one another.
Eventually it would end with him getting shot by a woman. I looked at the shooter and went the other way, doing zigzags around trees, hoping that she couldn’t hit me.
I can’t take any breaks!
“DIE!”
Looking at the source of the scream, it seemed to be coming from my squad. Marko and Ryan finally jumped into the battlefield shooting down foes by surprise.
I’ll just regroup with them!
The boom of a sniper knocked someone down from afar, I assumed it was from Fenris.
Tsk, they’re all racking up kills, but I still haven’t gotten a single one!
“Hahahahaha! You looked ridiculous out there, sword sucker!” Marko looked at me mockingly. “It’s so pathetic, all you could do was run away!”
“What’s that sword supposed to be for anyway? Just for show?” Ryan scoffed. “You can’t even use it!”
“Just quit trying to be an Enforcer! Such a wannabe.”
“You’ve got 0 kills. ZERO. Talk about lame. I feel ashamed to be your teammate.”
Their words cut deep into the depths of my heart. My chest seemed to burn from the pain, I felt sick. It feels so disgusting that I want to puke at the thought of how utterly stupid I am. The agony of being the most incompetent person alive. There’s nothing I could say about it. Nothing I could do to defend myself.
Why did I choose to do this again? Why am I here? Am I worthy? What am I doing with a sword anyway? Did I really think I could fight with it somehow?
The shaking of my body never seemed to stop. The noises and voices started to feel dull, I could barely hear anything anymore. My skin is shivering like crazy. How can it be so cold? Is this how powerful my anxiety is and how powerless I am to cope with it? Am I just that weak?
I took a deep sigh…and white mist came out from my mouth.
Wait. It’s not me. The temperature really does feel like it fell down. My surroundings feel a little foggier than usual….
“W-Why is it suddenly freezing?” Ryan said.
Right after he said those words, a blur of blue had pierced through his heart.
“GAHK!”
“Ryan!” Marko screamed.
Is that….ice?
“You!”
Marko seemed to be pointing his gun at something and started to shoot. I couldn’t really see what was going on, due to the fog and trees blocking my vision.
“THAT ISN’T FAIR!”
The sound of a gun dropped on the floor and footsteps started to head towards me.
W-What the hell is going on?!
“S-Sword sucker! Be my meat shield!”
He cowered behind my body, but for some reason, I didn’t seem to mind. Even if he’s a dickhead, it didn’t matter to me. He’s still my teammate, I’ll protect him because it’s my duty. Besides, it’s the best I could do to make up for my screw-ups.
The sound of a sniper boomed once again. Then silence. Sounds of ice whizzed towards the source of the boom and along with it, came a scream from the team comms.
“ARGH! Get away from me! I can’t let you kill me!” Fenris yelled out the loudest noise I’ve heard from him. “I will-kshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
“Screw this, I’m out!” Marko let go of my back and ran away.
Hey! Don’t make a noise!
Unfortunately, his footsteps had been heard and a sword of ice had impaled his chest. I closed my mouth and forced myself not to make a single sound. The heat seemed to be draining away from my body, causing me to feel numb by the second.
The shadow of a figure loomed straight towards me. Its shape was that of a……woman?
Long flowing white hair……with eyes reminiscent of the color of sapphire. Yet they looked cold….unlike the last time I saw them.
“Lars?” she asked in a monotone voice.
“A-Alessia?” I muttered.