[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EvG6lLEWgAIj5sL?format=png&name=small]
"This… doesn't feel right. This isn't my room. Where am I?"
The last thing I remember was passing out watching TV. No, this isn't my bedroom, I knew that much.
I felt a slight breeze looming over my shoulder as I sat on the coldish-warmish ground. There was no sign of life. What I was viewing seemed to be almost like something out of the apocalypse, or to be more precise, the aftermath of an apocalypse. It's so strange, I could feel everything, this was no dream, but I couldn't move, not even an inch. All the muscles in my body wouldn't move, all I could see was what was straight ahead of me.
"Wait a second, my eyes, I can move my eyes."
After this revelation, I looked around for anything that looked familiar. I tried my best to look right behind me the best I could, it strained my eyes to the point where I got a headache. With my limited field of view, I could make out what appeared to be a house, although I couldn't be completely sure. I looked back in front of me. The sky was a blend between red and orange with a few grey clouds in the sky, but that wasn't the only thing that caught my attention. A silhouette of a female figure caught my glimpse from about twenty meters away. I was completely transfixed.
She had short, pure black hair that swayed from side to side in the wind. If I was dumb enough, I would've immediately fallen in love. But of course, not all things are as they seem, for what I saw next I would describe as the opposite of love, only fear. An unholy abomination of giant, black wings began to sprout out of her back as she ascended into the air, her wings hitting against the wind as she flew above me. All I could do was watch this unholy, winged beast as she angelically grasped the wind in her feathers as she flew right above of me.
As I stared at her, she stared right back into me, both exchanging a sudden, final glance at each other.
My limbs slowly started to regain their movement, as I slowly regained consciousness, and all my senses came back to me, I woke up, completely sick with a horrible headache, sweat dripping down my face, not on my bed, but on the floor. Coughing up blood, I attempted to steady my breathing. I attempted to turn my alarm clock off, missing and hitting my hand, hard and painfully, on my desk. I screamed out in pain. Feeling completely pathetic, but optimistic, I tried hitting it again and hit the snooze button, success.
It was a cold June morning. Way too cold for June. It was like the seasons had been rearranged.
"Yuuki! Are you awake yet? I'm just going out, I've left your breakfast on the table in the kitchen, just come and get it when you're ready."
"O-okay." "So, it was a dream?"
I was still on the floor, immobile. I hadn't moved for, I shit you not, at least for the past half an hour.
"I can't keep living like this." Almost like instinct, I jumped up off the floor, got changed, brushed my teeth, shaved my lacklustre, almost non-existent beard. Fuck yes. My fatigue was finally disappearing, and I felt kinda awake, no that would be an understatement, I felt alive, for the first time in the last few months, I felt like I could move on my own. Hell yeah, maybe this is just temporary energy, but goddamn, I'd be a fool not to take advantage of it.
"Wait a minute." I realized that for the last 30 minutes, my stupid fucking brain didn't realize that I had wasted the last 30 minutes. I had been on the floor feeling sorry for myself that I didn't even realize the time.
"Goddamn it!" It's Monday today, a school day.
"Well, nothing you can do about it." I stomped downstairs and walked into the kitchen with a solemn look on my face. I sat down at the table and ate the now cold toast my mother left for me on the countertop.
The kitchen was silent, something that I'm used to by now since my mom is always in work and my sister is in college and only comes around for Christmas and summer break to see her friends from her old high school.
"Maybe I should get going after all."
"Besides, if I don't, a failing grade isn't going to be the only thing haunting my dreams for the next month."
Picking up my keys, I hit the top of the door handle, opening the door. I was still recalling my dream which I amazingly hadn't forgotten. "Was it a dream?" That, unfortunately, is still something I can't answer with 100% certainty, it just felt so real. Call me crazy, but I remember everything about that dream, no detail left unchecked, from the rocky, sandy texture of the ground, to the red orangey sunset.
"Or was it a sunrise?"
Little droplets of rain started to fall onto the pavement, eventually turning into a full-on thunderstorm, and then there was me, with no umbrella, and some cheap coat I bought from some off-brand clothing store.
There is always this old farmhouse I walk past to get to school, it had been abandoned for years, last time I actually saw animals on it was five years ago, and now, well… all that remains are the empty carcasses of the cows, sheep and pig that once used to eat off the grass, now are buried in it, a part of it. Over in the distance, I saw a figure. Maybe it was me just being paranoid but what could only be described as a black silhouette figure stood straight up. If it was a scarecrow, it had been doing a great job at scaring the crows away, because, despite the massive circle of crows surrounding the figure, not one dared to approach it.
"I'm becoming tired again."
"Damnit, now's not the time for keen observation." I ran, as fast as I could, something I didn't think I'd be doing at half 8 in the morning, but hey, you do lots of things that you wouldn't have done in the past.
The time? 8:40. "Hell yes, got there on time and have five minutes to spare."
My physical and mental state? Absolute shite. It felt like I'd ran a marathon through a downpour, oh wait, I did. I opened the door to class 1-D and I gave the usual greeting to an old friend of mine, Natsuki. I've known him since elementary school, we used to always give each other grief, but nowadays, it's just the friendly hello and goodbye. We sometimes hang out after school but it's only on occasion.
Natsuki is like that one friend you've known for most of your life, but as you grew older, you both slowly drifted apart. It's not like you both don't talk to each other anymore, only less. I guess the right way to describe my relationship with Natsuki is, peaceful, so I try to maintain that peace to the best of my ability, because he's the only friend I have. That and I kinda enjoy having his company around on the weekends.
"Yo."
"Yo, Yuuki! Big news!" Natsuki had a wide smile on his face, like a dog and its owner telling it if it wants to go for a walk, of course, without the tongue sticking out and the saliva dripping from the mouth.
"Wait, what happened to you?" he pointed at my soaked blazer and wet hair.
"I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." That was a lie, I didn't even wake up in my bed.
"Seriously? Have you tried taking pain pil-wait, back on topic." "Oh, very subtle."
"Okay, so apparently, now, I have very classified intel that I may or may not have gotten from listening in on the teacher's conversations whilst walking to class. As it turns out, we have a transfer student coming into our class."
"I mean, it isn't a Monday morning if you're not trying to piss off the teachers, is it?"
"Look, that's beside the point, she's coming into our class, and the only free spot is next to who? Care to guess?" He said with this sarcastic, talk-show host accent.
"M-me?"
"Bingo!"
“N-no… I-I meant are you talking to me, idiot…”
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“Don’t get ahead of yourself though.” Natsuki had a semi-serious tone to him.
“I was in the staff room this morning too, getting lectured about, something… I can’t remember, but, her name was mentioned, I was looking over to the principle at the time and, he had this scared look in his face, it was like he had seen a ghost. Whenever her name was mentioned his face turned pale.”
“How does this relate to, anything…”
“Well, what if she was a delinquent in her old school? I mean, think about it, transferring in only three months after the school year started?”
“Well, yeah I guess you do have a point. But it seems like a bit of an overreaction, I think. You’re sure you’re not making that last part up?”
“I swear.”
"Anyway, why would I care? since when have you seen me talk to girls? I can barely make idle conversation with you sometimes…"
The bell had singed, the teacher had ordered everyone to sit down and be quiet. I sat at my desk, looked around the classroom, no sign of any transfer student.
"Why do I even care?"
"Good morning class. With this unexpected weather we're having, I'm glad you could all make it here today."
I wasn't even listening; in my head I was counting the amount strokes each character of kanji had on the chalkboard. And if I wasn’t doing that, I was clicking my pen.
A girl walked into the classroom; I adjusted my gaze towards the front of the classroom. A girl, around 5 foot 3, short black hair and red eyes, entered my field of vision. The footsteps grew closer and more audible.
My hands at this point, were shaking. It was uncanny, just how similar she was to the figure in my dream.
"Dream? I'm not even sure that it was a dream at this point. Would a dream- no, could a dream have me woken up with sweat dripping from every part of my face like that?"
I could only describe this situation as scary. My chest felt like it was going to cave in, despite the scenario being just another school day to a regular bystander, yet here I was trying to make it look like I wasn't going to have a heart attack in the middle of class.
She introduced herself as Aika Yamaguchi, despite her foreign background. She walked down the right side of the classroom and sat down next to me. I kept my eyes to the front of the classroom, avoiding any kind of eye contact. And even if she wasn't looking at me, I felt like I was being watched.
I wish I could say that I put the entire ordeal out of mind for the lesson like I do with most things, but I just couldn’t. Although it did give me something to do besides blankly staring at the chalkboard for God knows however long I’m in that room for.
“Let’s say that she is the figure I saw in my dreams, what would that even mean? That she can somehow enter my dreams? Maybe I had seen her somewhere else before? It’s the only logical explanation.”
I was just grasping at straws, trying to keep peace of mind. However, that was becoming increasingly harder throughout the lecture. Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, trying to pass that off as a ‘dream’, isn’t working anymore. My mind was in a mess as reality conflicts with common sense. Two things that should really be on the same side.
It was already lunch. The lesson dragged. My mind was not at ease, and everyone was out of their seats roaming the campus. Sitting idly by hasn’t worked before. I have to act because now that person was leaving the classroom.
In times like these, you don’t really know what you’re doing, your body just moves on its own, and I was following a classmate of mine who I suspect to be hijacking my dreams. What kind of sick joke is this?
I followed her up a flight of stairs, bumping into everyone on my way.
“I wonder where she’s going. If it’s to the roof she’d be a bit disappointed to find that it’s usually locked”
I kept a safe distance. “I could probably blend in with the crowd.”
It did look like she was going to the roof, that’s where the last flight of stairs led to. I had fewer people to shelter my face with, so I was basically hiding around corners at this point.
She opened the door which I was certain would be locked. I wish I hadn’t had followed her now because as soon as she opened that door…
Rain.
Rain soaked me from head to toe. Some part of me now was regretting following this girl all the way up here.
There I saw her. She was overlooking the entire school as the rain, wind and thunder almost knocked me off my feet. She looked at her hand which was soaked with water, her mouth was moving but all the words where inaudible.
“Huh? I can’t hear you.” My face was cold, extremely cold. It was to the point where I was angry. I honestly felt like screaming out, not at anyone in particular, but just because of how goddamn cold I was.
“What’s she going on about? I’m surprised she can stand there in this weather and not get knocked over.”
I shouted “Hey!” to get the attention of the mystery girl, miserably failing with a sad voice crack. Memories flooded back to junior-high rollcall.
“I hate myself.”
Some seconds passed between me shamefully shouting at the mystery girl as we continued to stare at each other, each second becoming longer than the previous.
“Just… Who are you?”
“Who am I?” She asked.
“I thought you already knew.”
“Your red eyes.”
“Why do you have red eyes? That’s, that’s not a natural pigment, how did you get those red eyes?” God the words I where saying sounded so demanding but my voice just didn’t seem to work well with my words, because, to put it bluntly, I can’t even make a simple sentence without stumbling through my words.
“My red eyes, you say?” She stretched out her eyelid with her thumb and index finger.
“I don’t know, it’s just how I am. Why, are my red eyes not normal?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call them normal, no.”
As if from some stroke of luck, the rain came down heavier, the thunder growing ever louder, and here I was stood outside in it. Well, I guess I’m not the only idiot here.
“Well, this was nice, but frankly, if I stay out here for a second longer, I might actually enjoy myself, so I’m heading back in.”
I opened the door and shut it behind me.
Wait. Why isn’t she coming in? Are you kidding me right now.
“Oi, are you coming in or what?”
I waved my arm at her, inviting her back into the building. She soon followed after me.
The two of us stood next to the door which separated the inside from the outside and leaned our backs against the dry, concrete walls. I took off my blazer and began to rinse out the water that had gathered inside of it, Aika, doing the same.
“So, your name’s Yamaguchi, is it? Aika Yamaguchi?”
“Yes, and yours is Yuuki Hayashida, I believe.”
“That’s right.” I leaned my back further into the wall, and slid down to the floor, leaving a sizeable wet patch on the wall. I put my palm up to my face.
Aika glanced over to me; observing my distressed face. “Why the long face?” She said.
It was such a badly timed joke, and honestly, not that funny. And with such a serious look in her face whilst saying it, a bit scary.
“Why do you think?”
“I got caught up in the rain this morning and here I am again.”
“Déjà vu?” She asked.
“Well you’re not off the mark with that one.” It truly felt like this entire day had happened before, several times.
“Rain in June, huh? I never thought we would get weather like this. Usually the weather correlates with the seasons. Well ain't that funny.”
“Well, rainfall in the middle of June is pretty odd, but I don’t see how it’s funny.”
I gave her a blank expression. “What’s up with you? You haven’t spoken to anyone in our class.” Not that I can blame her, she must’ve been like me, all the way since elementary school.
I reached into my blazer pocket and got out a turn piece of paper and wrote some numbers on it. I don’t know if it was pity or not, but she was kind of interesting, so…
“What’s that?”
“A cell phone number”
“Woh, hold on a minute, where did all this confidence come from all a sudden? I just realized that I was actually talking to a girl, and now I’m giving out my number? Well done, Yuuki!”
I’m not gonna lie to myself though, she’s probably the only person outside of my family that I’ve been able to talk normally. Hell, even Natsuki and I don’t talk like this.
“I don’t have a cell phone.” And with those words, from where I stood on cloud nine, suddenly, I was forcefully dragged back down to hell, made to face reality.
“Of course, she doesn’t have a phone number, what am I, stupid? I should’ve seen this coming. I mean, look at her, she’s not really the type of person who would have friends to talk to over the pho- no… wait a minute, she probably does have a phone and she’s just sparing me feelings, I swear if she’s just taking pity on me I’ll-“
“I have a house phone, though.”
“Oh. I see. So, will that work for you then?”
“Yes.”
“I am a complete, and utter fool.”
I gave her an extra piece of paper that had been in my blazer pocket for weeks so that she could write down her number.
We made our way back down the stairs, I took notice of a radiator, not knowing whether it was on or not, I quickly jabbed it with my finger.
“Hey, come here for a second.” Aika’s ear twitched with curiosity as she followed me back up the stairs.
“This radiator’s on, we could probably dry off our blazers faster this way.” We both agreed, placing our blazers and our backs towards the warm radiator, any hotter though and it would’ve left a burn on my back.
From where I sat laid a peaceful silence shared between the both of us. “So, Yamaguchi, why’d you transfer over here? I mean, you seem like the academic type, and this place is meant for underachievers, like yours truly.”
She pondered that question for a few seconds, and her response was, “It’s closer to home than my last school.”
“Oh, I see.”
“So, why were you following me up these stairs?” If that question was any blunter, it would’ve slit my neck open. I didn’t really know how to answer that question. I’m not a good liar either so getting out of this one would be trouble. A white lie was the only other option I had left.
“I, think I’ve seen you around before, so I was curious.” Nailed it. That should take care of any suspicion she had.
“Oh? Where have you seen me?” Well I kinda dug my own grave with that response.
“Y-you know, about..”
“Oh, I see.” Yep, she fucking knew, and was only indulging me in my own lies for fun, what a pitiful sight to see.
After that we walked back to our class, I still hadn’t eaten and was starving. A piece of cold toast can only do so much for you in the morning. This girl that I had met today, is still a mystery to me. Most of the time I can’t tell what she’s thinking.
I sat down at my desk, got out my lunch and dug in. At the time I was just making conversation with Natsuki whilst Aika was silent throughout the entire conversation. Aika, being the new transfer student, had a crowd around her, but like I said, she was completely silent.
“Look at her go, she’s basically a celebrity.”
“I don’t think so, maybe it’s more like someone who has social anxiety? But got mistaken for a celebrity.” Natsuki replied.
“Hilariously tragic,” I said.
“She didn’t have social anxiety, I can tell you that much, I would know. I know what it is, it’s sadness. Well masked sadness at that.”
That look of discontent never left her face. Throughout the rest of that lunch break, I didn’t feel good about myself. I didn’t feel good about that entire situation. Nothing felt
right for the entire day.