“Fred, guess what I found,” said Harold as he led Frederick to a store front, “the most unique attraction in all of Japan—a maid café.”
Frederick kneaded his forehead, “do you want to pay ten bucks for day-old rice and an omelette?” Frederick pointed to the other side of the street. “There’s a ramen stall over there, it’s only four bucks per bowl. Yet you insist on that dingy place because a bunch of broke college girls will serve you.”
Harold nodded.
“For fuck’s sake, look, when we get back home, we’ll go to hooters. But right now, let’s not waste our cash on a pg-13 hooters, OK,” said Frederick.
Harold pushed Frederick towards to the store. “Look bud, travelling is about the experience not the optimization of funds, so let’s go in. I’ll even pay for your meal.”
“Don’t talk money, I financed 60% of the trip, you should be paying for all the meals, but since you insist let’s go.”
Fred entered the maid café. A few plastic tables were set up around the room and a fake wooden bar sat in the right most corner of the café. Besides them, there were four other customers. They were three Japanese girls and a boy around the age of sixteen or seventeen.
“God damn, this looks depressing,” said Frederick. A maid in a black and white uniform came out of the backroom.
Harold patted Frederick’s back, “Don’t try to escape. Now you can eat and look at cute maids.”
The two of them sat down at a table and waited for a maid to bring them the menu. Unfortunately for Harold a bright light started to shine under his feet. Soon a green pentagram appeared, and everyone in the café’s dining space disappeared.
#
They then appeared in a room without walls, a floor, nor time. When God pressed play, they fell from their sitting positions and hit their ass on a glass-like floor. Frederick, startled, looked up to his friend but noticed something was off, “Since when were you a nudist?”
Harold, also in a daze, looked down then up to Frederick who was also seated on his ass, “Hey, you aren’t looking any better yourself.”
Frederick confirmed that to be the case, but then saw his friend stare behind him and so reached out, grabbed Harold’s jaw, and dragged it down towards his face.
“What the hell are you looking at?”
“I’m sorry, from now on I’ll only look at you.”
Frederick rubbed his temple, “why are you such a sick fuck? There’s no need to stare. They don’t even have their maid uniform on.”
“Hey, look I was just trying to see where we are, how was I supposed to know what I was going to see, after all we were scammed.”
“Who scammed you?” asked Frederick, “we didn’t pay to get teleported into a white room. I don’t know who you’re going to sue, and if you go after the café, well I don’t know. The court case might not go your way.”
Harold shook his head. “No, the teleportation wasn’t the scam. I’m afraid it’s much worse. Not only did everyone lose their clothes but the maids lost their makeup.”
Frederick covered his friend’s mouth, “you know they might understand English. Keep your mouth shut for more than a second. It might be beneficial to you.”
In a muffled voice Harold continued, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this. Touching my lips so firmly when we’re both in the nude.”
Fred gritted his teeth and let him go, “As long as you understand.”
“Yes, master.”
Before they could start another argument, a man appeared in Frederick’s vision. He seemed to overlay the material world and wore a white linen cloth.
Frederick’s eyes light up, “God? Is this judgment day? How did we die? Carbon monoxide poisoning?”
God slowly shook his head with a divine and solemn aura.
However, Harold’s frantic movements took him out of his moment of reverence. Since God didn’t seem to be about to speak Frederick turned to Harold, “What are you searching for? God is in front of you if you didn’t realize.”
“What? I don’t see anything; I only hear voices.”
Then something spoke, not with words but through inherent understanding.
“I am the god of this Universe, I do not have a shape nor form, whatever you see is a projection of your imagination.”
The two of them nodded and Frederick saw the other’s nod as well; apparently everyone could hear it.
“I will send you to another world to accomplish a mission. A co-worker of mine is having difficulties with his first planet. Since he’s young and incompetent, he has yet to become omniscient and omnipotent. For said reason, he requires prophets and messengers to spread his faith. As such, I who have been assigned as his guardian will send you to spread his will.”
A blue status screen popped up in everyone’s vision. Harold started to beat his fist in the air and turned to Frederick
“You got anything to say. I heard you didn’t want to go to the maid café.”
Frederick wanted to remind him that this wasn’t planned, and that Harold's fetish wasn’t the cause, nor reason they were to be transmigrated or reincarnated. However, that’s when Frederick noticed that God looked at the status screens with a somewhat pained expression.
“As you can see.” God kneaded his temples, “this new god has been made aware of video games. This is because he incubated in a part of my mind which overlooked your world. And as such, well, you can see the results. What you have in front of you is a status screen. The options available to you are related to your current path and experiences in life. As your mission is to spread the faith of that God, how you do it is irrelevant. All we ask of you is to accomplish it. Although, well I already know you will at least try,” he muttered. “If I am omniscient and omnipotent, it should be evident that I wouldn’t have picked people who would complain. Anyhow,” he said with more enthusiasm. “Before you start picking skills, I will have you read and sign this contract. Since I’m a proper god, unlike others,” he muttered. “As previously stated I know that all of you will accept. Yet, I am obliged to read it over with you:
Definitions:
(you/your) represents the individual who marks this contract with their soul signature in the field marked, signatory.
(Guarantor) represents the god who will take custody over the souls of the signatory.
* You are obliged to spread the faith of the guarantor for one lifetime. The means are of no concern.
* Whether or not you spread the faith of the guarantor will be determined after your death. If it is discovered that you did not fulfill the first statement your soul will be tormented for one eternity.
* The information regarding any specifications will be sent to you by the guarantor at the time of your transmigration. If you do not receive any information at the time of your transmigration, the first two points of the contracts are null and void.
* If any modifications, you bring to your person in your status screen before the transmigration isn’t present after your transmigration the first two statements are null and void.
* When you die in the world of the guarantor, your soul will remain in the universe of the guarantor.
* All gods and other entities except the guarantor must relinquish their rights to your soul.
“Done,” said God after listing all the terms of the contracts. “Although this is a contract. Since gods are gods, there is no one to enforce these terms. But don’t worry, since I’m a god, there shouldn’t be any problems. And if anything happens, while the transfer it’s due to bad connection in between universes so don’t blame me. Anyways, can everyone sign?”
Frederick wanted to ask what would happen if he refused and how a soul signature worked; however, his mouth wouldn’t move, and his thumb pressed down on the levitating paper which promptly burned, turned to cinders, and disappeared.
“Hey, isn’t this what happens when you sign a contract with the devil?” asked Harold.
“A contract’s a contract, just because demons do it more often doesn’t mean it’s only for them. Plus, this is only how it works in this universe, who knows, maybe in the other universe all you might need to sign a contract with a demon is a verbal statement. Anyways, when all of you finish distributing your points and choosing your skills, you’ll be teleported. I’ll take my leave now. Oh, and you all have 50 pts.”
Everyone was speechless. Although all that meant is that Harold stayed quiet for once. Of course, that wouldn’t last for long.
“Hey, no name, look.” Harold pointed to his status screen.
“What’s up with my new nickname? You can be a bit more creative, no?”
Harold shook his head and pulled Frederick in a bit too close.
“We can choose a new name and race. I guess we’ll be able to decide our skills afterwards.”
“So, are you going to change your name?” asked Frederick.
“Of course, who knows maybe our old names will become our true names or some.”
“We aren’t becoming demons.”
“Well, I don’t know, let’s check what we can get,” answered Harold. Frederick continued overlooking Harold’s status screen as he scrolled down to check all the races and his base stats:
Harold:
Charisma
Intelligence
Perception
Agility
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Endurance
Strength
24
16
17
14
14
13
* Human (Status modifications: none; cost: 0 points; average life expectancy discounting child mortality: 45 years; maximum lifespan: 120 years; average height: 165 cm)
* Nord (Status modifications: add 50% to cold resistance base value; costs: 5 pts; average life expectancy discounting child mortality: 90 years; maximum lifespan: 120 years; average height: 200 cm)
* Elf (Status modifications: add 15% to base mana value, remove 20% to base growth rate, remove 20% to base strength value, add 5% to charisma base value; costs: 30 pts; average life expectancy discounting child mortality: 300 years; maximum lifespan: 400 years; average height: 180 cm)
* Vampire (Status modifications: remove 50% to base health value under the sun, add 15% to base mana value, remove 30% to base growth rate, add 50% to charisma to the undead, holy magic deals 50% more damage; costs 40 pts; median life expectancy discounting child mortality 40 years; maximum lifespan: 1000 years; average height: 190 cm)
* Fox kin (Status modifications: add 5% to base mana value, add 10% to growth rates, add 10% to base charisma; costs 10 pts; average life expectancy discounting child mortality 60 years; maximum lifespan: 65 years; average height: 160 cm)
“Looks like someone was playing certain games,” said Harold, “but God damn, I think the excitement is hitting me all at once. Can we really pick our races like this? I feel like I could stay here a few years just thinking about it.” Harold kept scrolling up and down, as to see if he missed anything. As to find comfort in his friend’s choices he turned to him, “Do you have any other options?”
Frederick nodded and checked his available races, “seems like I have the same as you except instead of a Fox kin I have Dark Elf.”
* Dark Elf (Status modifications: add 20% to base mana value, remove 20% to base growth rate, remove 20% to base strength value, remove 5% to base charisma value; night vision; curse resistance 50%; dark spirit magic; costs: 30 pts; average life expectancy discounting child mortality: 250 years; maximum lifespan: 400 years; average height: 175 cm)
“Wait lemme see your base stats.”
Frederick:
Charisma
Intelligence
Perception
Agility
Endurance
Strength
14
23
17
17
12
12
“Seems fair enough,” said Harold after a glance, “however were both weak as shit.”
“I don’t mind it,” said Frederick, “we’re here to create a religion, so charisma and intelligence seem like solid stats to increase.” Frederick turned back to Harold’s stats “You’re suited to become a cult leader, so I think it’s fair that that our physical stats are rather low. Although if you pick Nord that might help increase your strength as you level up. So which race do you want to pick?”
“Ah, I wanted to pick the longest living one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that vampires are being hunted to extinction.”
“We can also guess this world isn’t very developed either, probably a plague and a war or two going on with that life expectancy,” said Frederick,
“What earth like era do you think they’re at? Zero to three hundred or in the medieval era?” asked Harold.
“Who knows, might even be the start of the Industrial Revolution,”
Harold frowned, “That would be too boring, what would we do? Explore coal mines and kill dragons with 100,000 strong armies. Or would it be more like, “who can shoot Napoleon the fastest”? Magic wouldn’t be very useful when artillery shells explode in your face.”
“Who knows, God said the other one’s incompetent, it might even be in a fallout type environment.” Frederick sighed, “speaking of magic you didn’t have any magic enhancements in the skills shop. Let’s check your skills, if you don’t have anything you might have to end up working as a maid.”
Harold held his breath and scrolled down, “there’s nothing. It doesn’t even want to go down.”
Frederick smiled and patted his back, “It seems you’ll really end up as the plaything of a countryside baroness.”
Harold kept trying to scroll down and the page kept popping back up. “Wait there’s a star on the word skill. Thank God, it says that skills will appear on its own when I pick my race.”
Harold picked elf and Frederick chose dark elf.
“I’d be surprised if anyone stayed human, as you said, it’s a complete waste of potential time. Humans can keep their extra skills. I’ll take the extra three centuries. Anyways, we still have twenty points to play with let’s see what’s available.” Harold and Frederick scrolled down.
“Well, shit, I got a lot of choices, but most of them are in charisma,” said Harold.
“We are here to spread a religion, so it does make sense.”
Frederick looked over Harold’s skills:
* Add 10 pts to any base stat: 4 pts per
* Add 5 pts to charisma: 1 pt
* Spirit communication: 10 pts
* Increase charisma gain per level by 25%: 2 pts
* Individuals not from (elvish races) can be charmed: 3 pts
“Looks like you’re set up to start a cult.”
“And you’ll be my first loyal follower, just hand over 10% of your annual income and I promise you salvation."
Frederick scooted away, “Thank God I picked dark elf, it could have affected me as well. Isn’t this world a bit too dangerous?”
“I don’t know, I like this god, I’m sure his motto is go big or go home and I agree with him. But I'm not sure I'm going to keep this skill set up.”
“Anyways let’s check the rest of your skills.”
Intelligence:
* Basic telepathy: 3 pts
* Telepathy: 5 pts
* All humanoid language acquisition: 1pts
* Intermediate animal language acquisition: 5 pts
* Full animal language acquisition: 10 pts
Perception:
* Vaguely see a person’s opinion of you: 5 pts
* See all spirits in your surroundings: 2 pts
* 30/20 vision: 1 pt
* Wind perception: 3 pts
* Water flow perception: 3 pts
* Night vision: 3 pts
* Heat vision: 4 pts
* Increase perception gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Agility:
* Increase agility gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Endurance:
* Increase endurance gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Strength:
* Increase strength gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Harold started rubbing his chin, “Show me yours, before I decide.”
“Sure,”
Charisma:
* Add 10 pts to any base stat: 4 pts per
* Dark spirits communication: 10 pts
* At the brink of death, people who have given up the will to live gain a favourable opinion of you: 5 pts
Intelligence:
* Basic telepathy: 3 pts
* Telepathy: 5 pts
* All humanoid language acquisition: 1pts
* Increase mana gain per level by 25%: 5 pts
* Improved memory: 3 pts
* Dark magic improves 25% faster: 4 pts
Perception:
* 30/20 vision: 1 pt
* Heat vision: 4 pts
* Increase perception gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
* See all spirits in your surroundings: 2 pts
* See curses on people and objects: 3 pts
* Smell diseases: 2 pts
Agility:
* Increase agility gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Endurance:
* Increase endurance gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Strength:
* Increase strength gain per level by 25%: 4 pts
Harold snorted, “Although at first it seems like a lot, our choices aren’t very different,”
“Did you forget we’re both elves and our stats distribution are almost identical? You’re expecting too much. Anyways, we’re probably going to specialize later on so don’t start complaining right away.”
“Fair enough, now before we start picking other skills, I think we should both take telepathy. I don’t know what kind of world we’re going in, but I don’t think we can skimp out on this one.” Harold clutched his chest, “Although it hurts to spend the five points, I have to make sure my best friend doesn’t get swindled by pretty women.”
Frederick snorted, “I don’t know about that last part, but it seems like 16 in intelligence isn’t stupid either.”
Harold nodded, “now that we’ll be linked by mind we should specialize, hopefully we’ll be able to get combat skills later because I’m going full charisma:
* Telepathy (5 pts),
* Add 5pts to Charisma (1pts),
* Charm individuals who aren’t elves (4pts),
* Increase charisma per level (4pts),
* All human language acquisition (1pts),
* See the opinion of others (5pts),
* Heat vision (4pts),
* 30/20 vision (1pts)
For a total of 50pts done,” said Harold as he stretched his back.
“You really went for quantity over quality eh.”
“You can’t expect me to start a cult with a single trick, can you? Now let’s go, I want to see what you pick.”
Frederick scrolled through his skills one last time, “k, I’ll go with:
* Telepathy (5 pts)
* All humanoid language acquisition (1pts)
* Dark spirit communication (10 pts)
* Improved memory (2 pts)
* Smell diseases and viruses (2 pts)
And that makes twenty.”
“So, you’re going to become a dark mage or something. That looks promising, I’m kind of jealous, but manipulation will be fun.”
“Thankfully, I took the memory perk,” said Frederick.
Harold leaned forward, “What did I forget?”
“Don’t you remember how excited you were about changing your name?”
Harold facepalmed, “oh true, very true, how could I? So did you think of anything for yourself. Personally, I think we should have matching names.”
“Wait, do you mean the same names or the same style?”
“Style, something that’s related like Dante and Virgil, or Cain and Abel.”
Jarod rubbed his chin and then gave a slight nod, “that sounds good, but let’s steer clear from being too on the nose, how about—”
“Then Romulus and Remus, or Dimitri and Ivan, or—”
“Stop talking for the love of God, why does it have to be such tragic characters? Do you want us to get killed?”
“OK since you don’t appreciate a good tragedy how about Damon and Pythias.”
Frederick gave up, “fine if you insist, I don’t really care anymore, which one do you want?”
“I’d let you choose, but if you insist, I’ll take Pythias.” Both inserted their names in the status screen. Frederick looked at the large empty space to the right of his new name, “We should probably add a last name.”
“Of course, I was just thinking about it. How about de Sade, and you’ll be de Maso?”
Damon frowned, “shouldn’t it be me with de Sade as a name, after all I’ll be the dark mage, and doesn’t Damon de Sade sound lustrous.”
Pythias shook his head, “it’s too on the nose, and although your class fits the image, you don’t. Plus, I’m a charmer, I’ll make it fit.”
Damon grinned, “If you insist, I’ll just go one step above, my name shall be Damon Asmodeus.”
Pythias snorted, “oh, look at whose’ acting like a little kid, and he thinks of himself so highly, you’re being too conceited, how about Damon mara.” Harold confirmed his status.
“Nope, it’s too late, from today onwards I’m Damon Asmodeus.”
“OK bud, you’d better live up to that name.”
Damon confirmed his status. “Oh, we can pick new clothes.”
Pythias laughed, “I forgot we’re naked.”
“And that’s why I took the memory retention skill.”
Pythias hid his face, “what have we done, look at this shirt, it’s 1 pt and it gives you invisibility?”
It was now Damon’s time to laugh, “I think he did that on purpose, as a joke, I have an instant kill knife for 1 pt. I like this god he knows that the best motto in life is go big or go home, no?” Beads of sweat formed on Damon’s forehead, “what if someone else didn’t count properly and got a god tier item. Damon looked around, thankfully everyone looked downcast, he exhaled a sigh of relief and turned back to Pythias. There stood a human with a Santa elf costume.
“You’re right, this god is quite funny. I don’t mind spreading my legs for him.”
“You mean faith.”
“Same thing, now let me find good clothes.”
Damon looked at his options. There were tunics, a few doublets, and a random arrangement of different clothes he couldn’t identify. “It seems, we’re going to a high medieval world.” In the corner of his eyes, he saw Pythias give a slight node. He seemed too busy creating his outfit.
Damon went with a tunic with Solomon’s knots embroidered on its white collar. The shirt itself was entirely black and had a golden rim at the bottom of the shirt. His pants were beige and straight cut. He didn’t have the option to pick a hat. However, he could choose earrings, when he considered the magical nature of the world, he couldn’t wait to be fully decked in enchanted jewelry. As such, he decided to pick the Bajoran earrings. They were made of a silver chain which hugged the future dark elf’s ears from the top of the point to the ear lobe. At the base of the earrings, two pearl cut emeralds hung from silver threads attached to the earlobe. His shoes were made of simple black leather with wooden soles.
Once accepted, time froze. Not long after his body started to morph, and clothes appeared on his body. However, before he could get a good look at himself, he heard a new voice which spoke in one swift breath. “Hi everyone, I’m the new god of that new universe. Although I can’t interfere in your lives, I can say a few words. I hope you’ll try your best and create many new religions for me. They must be centred around a singular cerenoid deity. Since all but one religion on that planet is based on spirits, animals, and nature I can’t harvest any energy. Please do your best, also, sorry. Since my mentor didn’t kill you, I’ll have to do it. Can’t get your souls if you’re still attached to those bodies of yours. Sorry.”
Those words marinated in Damon’s head, however, before he could fully grasp his precarious situation, he heard the loud horns of a truck. He turned and saw twelve trucks barrelling towards them. The next instant, he saw a greyish-white sky and blood cells he named Icarus. His vision faded to black.
When he opened his eyes once again, he saw an old man with a long grey beard and a cheap metal sceptre encrusted with small uncut quarts.