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Ch. 4 Blue Balls

[Phew!]

Walking on foot through this dense jungle was not easy! Especially since I was buck-naked! Well, almost…

I regret to say that I lost everything from before my untimely demise, and so I took some big leaves and fashioned them into some sort of primitive loin cloth. It suited me, I guess. My situation didn’t exactly require me to wear some expensive suit.

But yeah, life sucked!

Then again, it could have been worse I guess. At least there were no ferocious beasts around as far as I could tell. Or maybe there were, what the hell would I know? My only way of magic detection was completely useless, my other senses were limited, and above all, it was so goddamn cold!

I was freezing my balls off here!

The ground was damp, a chill wind was blowing, freezing me to the bone, and that was in the middle of what I can only assume was spring. There was much new growth all around, bright green and buzzing with life. I couldn’t say I was looking forward to a night out in the open.

Alright, enough with this weak-ass bullshit! I’ll never get anything done by feeling sorry for myself! It’s time I pull myself by the bootstraps and…

[…]

[I don’t have any boots though…]

Enough metaphors, stupid, focus! I needed to get my head straight. I was feeling like I was going crazy out here!

First thing first, I had to confirm my combat abilities! Magic was extremely easy to notice in these parts, so I had to be careful. Luckily, for the last hour or so, I haven’t noticed any animal tracks, sounds, or anything really, that would make me think a predator is nearby. I was confident in my observations, but I couldn’t be 100%.

Let me see… This place seemed good enough. It was relatively flat, the bushes were few and far between, and the trees were quite sparse, allowing me to see much farther. It should be a good place to avoid any ambush attacks.

Okay, so… The Howler used some powerful magic. A tree like… like that one was destroyed in about a second. As I slapped the tree it feelt quite sturdy. I should be able to measure the difference between our magic abilities like this.

Now, if I remembered correctly, there were quite a lot of Wind Blades it threw out at once. If I guessed that there were a hundred of them, which was not crazy since it crushed an entire freaking tree into splinters, then I should use 1% of my energy.

I wasn’t exactly sure how much that was since I have been resurrected, and I’ve probably become weaker, but it should be between 5-10 MP. Okay, that seems about right.

Forming a Wind Blade is easy, I’ve done it hundreds of times before, and this time was no different. I just concentrated, got a clear picture in my head, and molded the energy according to my will, easy peasy! Now I just had to aim it with my hand and…

[Hah!]

I launched my spell toward the tree trunk. It flew straight and true, striking the wood with a satisfying thud, and left a nasty gash behind. I was quite confident that strike would be enough to take someone’s leg off. Or hand. Or head. Basically, any part of the body that wasn’t reinforced with metal or magic.

But here we ran into our first problem. The cut in the wood was about ten centimeters deep, and twenty centimeters across. Compared to the thickness and size of the trunk, was barely even a scratch! Let me try this a few more times, maybe I’m missing something.

----------------------------------------

Yep, nope! That’s not it. My Wind Blades didn’t do shit! I would need a thousand of these to just come close to destroying this tree. Thank god I had a clear mind and didn’t engage the Howler! I might have been born today, but I was not braindead. Not yet. And hopefully never will be. Knock on wood.

I’m not superstitious, but I prefer to be safe. Don’t judge me!

Now let’s see how much damage a high-powered Wind Blade does to me. I just needed to confirm my own durability in the unlikely case I overreacted.

I gathered the energy and brought the spell to the front of my mind as clearly as I could. Let’s do it with… 15… no, 20… erm, 25 MP! 25 MP, yeah, that should be good… Aim for my, uh… other hand, and… I really hoped I wasn’t doing some stupid mistake.

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As I pumped my skin and flesh full of Mana, reinforcing it as best as I could, I crossed my fingers and hoped I wasn’t just crippling myself for no reason. Welp here goes nothing! The pressure rose as the energy swirled in the palm of my hand as it gathered for action. I took a deep breath, placed my hand point-blank, and then released!

POW!

Oh… OH, IT FUCKING HURTS! GOD! Fuck! Like being stung by a thousand bees at once! My pain sensors were on fire!

That was so retarded! I don’t know what I was expecting, honestly… I’m bleeding all over the floor, geez! I immediately administered some first aid in the form of a healing spell. It was basic and not all that useful on deep wounds, but it would have to do.

Well, on the other hand, I was quite pleasantly surprised. The spell didn’t do nearly as much damage as I expected. And the Wind Blades were made to show their strength up close! It barely sliced through my skin and didn’t even touch the flesh underneath. It’s just that I hit a vein that made the whole situation seem more gruesome than it had to be.

But I guess that was to be expected. With the full defensive enhancement, my whole body became like iron. Before I improved it, the original name of the spell was Iron Body, after all. It was kind of self-explanatory.

Alright, now I knew I might have overreacted to the attack of the Howler… I would just get sliced and diced by it instead of getting turned into minced meat instantly. However, considering I probably wouldn’t die from it, it was objectively even worse. At least in death, I wouldn’t feel pain.

[…]

Enough dark thoughts! The test failed successfully, and now I knew approximately where I stood. I didn’t have to be acting like a lil bitch wherever a bush shook, but I also couldn’t be taking some massive clawed monster head-on. Balance was key!

Rumble!

What’s that?! Another monster?! … No, it’s just my stomach, calm down. I’ve been on the run the entire day, and I have to say, I was freaking starving! If I didn’t get some food quickly I would… lose weight! That would be a disaster!

Just look at me, look at these scrawny arms and legs, where the fuck did my muscles go?! I swear, this resurrection stole years of my gains! I think I lost some height too, as if I reverted back to a child’s body! Even my little brother shrunk in size. It now looks more like a wet noodle than a magnificent sausage!

Surely I at least kept my magnificent manly face… I quickly condensed some water from the warm humid air to make a shitty mirror. I then made a floating light to illuminate my face so I could see myself better.

[Nooooooo!] It’s way worse than I would have imagined! I looked like some snotty teenager! I swear I lost at least five years, and above all, I was bald! Even my eyebrows weren’t spared!

Gah! Once again I was thinking too much! I needed to eat something or I was going to drive myself nuts! Maybe I shouldn’t have let that squirrel-

I stopped the thought and perked my ears. I heard some rustling in the nearby bush and readied myself for a fight. I still couldn’t see what beast was there if any, so I had to be careful.

I squinted my eyes and strained them to see while I held my breath and stood completely still. There was more rustling and a head rose above the bushes, looking at me.

It was a deer. Or a young buck, I didn’t know.

[Hey there, buddy…] I tried to keep my voice calm to not scare it away. It was looking at me with that stupid look you would expect from a clueless wild animal, but I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just a monster pretending to be harmless.

I slowly rose my hand, finger guns at the ready, prepared to act.

[Boom, headshot!]

Imagine my surprise when it worked. After my whisper, the animal simply collapsed on the ground without a peep from getting a taste of my Solar Point. One finger-sized hole, straight through the cranium! Easy as that!

Perhaps I have judged this place too harshly. We’ll be eating well tonight! I just hoped my magic wasn’t going to attract some monsters.

Awoooo!

Yeah, yeah… Nevermind! Looks like even such a short burst was noticed by some. And that sounded like wolves, and more than one.

I quickly grabbed the deer and threw it over my shoulder. It must have weighed at least 50 kilograms, light as a feather! I then quickly broke into a sprint and away from the animal sounds.

Actually, if they wanted food, they would probably follow my trail, so…

I quickly made a decision and tore the deer in half and tossed the head, front legs, and internal organs, minus the liver, on the ground, and made a quick escape.

After a few minutes, and as I didn’t hear anyone chasing me, I slowed down to a light jog. It seemed my laser was still useful, unlike that Yung Lin guy who killed me, the bastard! He barely flinched even after taking five simultaneous full-power blasts to the face!

Where did he say he came from? The Brilliant Sword Sect? Where is that? The west? Or perhaps the east? I had no fucking clue! And it wasn’t like it would matter, since, I couldn’t see even see the sun!

Bah! I wasn’t going to think about it, there was no point.

I was just going to slowly get strong on my own, find where he lives, and then get my revenge! … NOT!

I’m not retarded! Not to mention it was partially my fault since I kind of destroyed something that was important to them, a Portal Nexus or some shit, but I also didn’t have a death wish!

Hell to the no! Just imagine what kind of monsters must people living on this land be if the common beasts roaming the forest are already something way out of my league.

No, no, I was quite happy to avoid conflict. I’d like to keep my body in one piece this time if you don’t mind, thank you. I just hoped I could find some people before it was too late.

Achoo!

And get a warm and dry place to sleep, that’d be nice too. It’s already almost night, huh? My little brother already shrunk from the resurrection, and now this? Damn, I hate cold!