Ok. What am I going to do with my life now ?
I mean, it’s been a long road to tread and I’ve lived my fair share of weirdness. But what still baffles me to this very day is how it all began. Well, baffling isn’t really the word, it was more akin to boundless pain and suffering, so… Yeah.
Yet, I remember those times as enlightening and tempering - such that I feel ready for whatever curveball get thrown at me next - and with some kind of… Fondness ? Affinity ? I don’t know. I can’t be certain. There’s not much I’m clear on these days.
Now everything’s gone to shit. I can’t really recall a time where things hadn’t, per say, but from what I can gather, massive changes happened. People are going cuckoo in the nest, drunk dogs can’t walk straight, water’s a luxury while we eat fish eggs at breakfast- and oh ! Aliens. Aliens god damnit ! Even if the majority of them are of the boring push buttons and form filling sort, they’re still extraterrestrials beings ! With lasers and spaceships and weird languages and stuff. Lots of stuff. Exciting, right ? Would be without that sword of Damocles looming above us.
But hey, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s not jump the gun here.
I want to bring you along for the ride. I think that, as things get more and more strange and dicey, you’re gonna enjoy yourself, my little passenger.
However, you must catch up with the tale before you can tag along. That’s a given. So, how will I work that out ? Cold and formal won’t cut it, I need you focused and attentive, not drooling over yourself as if reading an ever so stale record of yearly earnings or some such. I’ll try as a journal of sort… and add some commentary along the way to help with the reminiscing your entire story part.
Yeah, that should be swell. But first a brief summary of my first steps as a human.
Well, I was born in the late 20th century, that much I can tell. And I think I was still pretty young when it happened. Not young like just out of your parents’ home, but still very close to mommy and daddy. Mostly for the washing machine. Ah, the smell of freshly cleaned clothes…
Back on topic. I was… a regular guy ? Surely, I must have had problems, even back then when everything was still regular business, but I feel I was pretty happy. Stable parents, great friends, a job, a loving girlfriend. And a lot of time on my hand. That I can remember. The hours I’ve spent in front of my computer, let me tell you, I was an addict. Still a functioning member of society but no doubt I was running a tight ship between my sleep schedule and daily activity.
Anyway, my love for videogames and all the folklore surrounding it may have had a hand in what followed. I can recall that day pretty accurately – understand it feels more like the memory of a memory of a memory of a… you get the gist of it, and yes, you’ll figure it out, shush now.
Started as a normal day, woke up, washed myself, got to work, bid my time until lunch break, and that’s when it appeared. A beautiful, beautiful, black and white screen. I may have been partial, but damn was I pumped up about this. Like I was waiting for this my whole life. I mean, the promise of untold adventure, the possible discovery of profound truth about the world, life… everything. And superpowers ! That’s what was beckoned to me in that simple screen that quickly displayed the following.
You are not alone anymore. Humanity has been discovered.
I’m pretty sure I screamed right there. A full-on cry of amazement. Probably not intelligible.
This, is the System. Familiarize yourselves with those screens. They are now to be your lifeline, your grip on an ever-flowing reality. Change is coming to your world. A new form of awareness will arrive and settle soon in your core. Prepare.
Yep. You know what’s up. I know what’s up. My colleagues at the time sure seemed not to get it but hey, tough luck being a normal guy with normal hobbies.
And so there I was, running around the office, grabbing every letter opener, water bottles and snack lying around. I even snagged a fire extinguisher. Putting all of that in my backpack - except the extinguisher, obviously – a new feeling came up. A new sense I might say. It felt to me like being submerged in heavy liquid. I could tell the flow, in and out of me following my frantic breathing, but my skin and my lungs didn’t register anything different than the same old polluted air. I learned later that everyone got a somewhat different reaction to that new sensitivity, so I won’t complain about mine, apparently it was a benign one.
Anyway, shortly after that, we got hit by another screen.
In order to facilitate the transition, you will be taken to the Tutorial and offered the possibility to accustom yourselves to the System. Please choose a location you think would be suited for this task.
Time until Tutorial : 1:14
Wait, that’s new.
And therefore frightening – that was me thinking by the way. When the ethereal screens started I thought I knew what was coming but that last one threw me for a loop. Sure, I had been excited for the novelty and the unknown, but in a relatively safe measure. At that point, I began to wonder if I really knew what to expect anymore.
This caused a miniature panic to invade me as I watched the counter unwind. It’s at this point that I’m not clear on what befell on me. Maybe I assumed I could be clever and dodge the apocalypse, or maybe I considered the safest place I knew, or even I may have thought about it and the System interpreted it as my choice. Doesn’t matter now.
In any way, shape or form, I was transported to a place that defied common sense. Nothing was really different from my usual workplace. My desk was there, I held my bag and the extinguisher firmly in my hands and the lighting was the same as just a moment before. No, what was definitely out of the ordinary was the alarm. My alarm. Blaring loud and deafening. And I knew why it was here. For I was now in my own mind.
I tried to calm myself, and I think I succeeded since I don’t recall the alarm sounding much longer after that. Or maybe the confusion blunted my perception of time, who knows ? Looking around I observed as the people near me were frozen in time, unaware of their own existence as anxious statues. Now that I recall it, the colors did seem a bit off, as if slightly washed out.
I have thought in great depths about what happened next. I came up with many theories addressing it but only one sticks out to me. If you think about it, what was transported in the tutorial ? Not all of me, I can spoil you that, so which part of my entity was carried there ? You guessed it, my mind was shifted in itself. That’s the kind of things that breaks reality you see.
I must have entertained the same kind of idea at the time, for as soon as that inconsistency occurred to me, the background started to change. In minor things at first, like the lighting going more off color as I delved deeper and deeper into the instances my intellect was creating in itself. There also was this increasing white noise in my head that I could not shake off for the life of me. The variations became more and more drastic as entire walls started to darken and my colleagues’ figures began to ooze and became smudges against my vision’s outskirts. The droning in my ears was pretty painful at this point, so you’ll excuse me if I can’t recall exactly what happened, but after an agony of time spent in this decaying world I met the end.
I met the void.
Blackness everywhere I looked. Not even I was illuminated. I felt as if falling endlessly, my clothes vaguely sticking to me. And the cold. The cold. The backpack’s strap in my left hand got rigid at some point and the handle of the now blown-up fire extinguisher drank the heat right out of my other hand. Quickly, I lost all sensations in my fingers. Next were my hands and feet. But that could not compare with the excruciating torment of having no air to breathe anymore.
I don’t actually remember this part specifically, but I’m pretty sure of how it felt. You see, this didn’t last long, an untrained human’s brain shuts off after 30 seconds without oxygen, and with all my blood boiling in my veins and arteries – you know, pressure and stuff - it surely took even less than that. You could say it was a pretty shitty way to blackout, and I would agree, although I can imagine worse. But imagine waking up with a violent start, expelling all the air from your lungs, and you’re still there, floating in the void, experiencing all that pain anew. Again. And again. Until nothing of you is left than burning agony and frozen tears in your eyes.
You may have guessed it, but I didn’t really fall unconscious that many times. It took me… quite a lot of iterations to realize that, you can’t think clearly under that kind of torment.
Yep, I died. Lots. And lost any perception of time that I had left. No sun, no light cycle, nothing. Good luck figuring out what’s going on in those conditions. I think I went a little bit crazy at that point. I pride myself of having overcome this but it might show sometime. I was lost, never to be found, never to live – really live – again. Darkness became my world. Misery my livelihood.
For at least a bazillion years. An entire era of this. An eternity of nothingness.
Ok maybe I’m overreacting a bit. Still took a long ass time. I didn’t count the number of cycles but it was in the high three hundred before my mind rebooted – that broken piece of shit – and heaved ideas to pull me out of this situation, all more useless than the last one. But as I was working out the futility of such an endeavor, I noticed I was experiencing less and less pain as the cycles went on and stretched. I was actually starting to survive suffocation ! I could also feel something nagging at the back of my head but I was entirely focused on - you know – not dying.
There was now a delay of 1 to 2 minutes between the blackouts, still painful, yet I felt hopeful. And I could wiggle my limbs a bit, shaking off the frost on my skin. I supposed that whatever was bringing me back to life only affected my body, generating a small supply of air in my lungs, and stopped at its surface. I blanked out for a moment I admit. I could still feel the void surrounding me from all sides, but my mind was elsewhere - pun intended. The direness of my situation finally settled in. No clear way out. I didn’t even know if there was a way out. This was all too much for me. I just hanged there, floating and falling, frozen and dying, shocked and desperate. Sentenced to an endless torment.
Well fuck.
*
* *
The Tutorial, the void
Your name is Yann Roy. Don’t lose yourself. Your name is Yann Roy. You’re a man, 23 years of age. Your name is Yann Roy. You have a caring family and some of the best friends in the world. Your name is Yann Roy. Anna is your amazing girlfriend and she honestly loves you. Your name is Yann Roy. You are a good person, flawed, but still respectable. Your name is Yann Roy. Don’t lose yourself. Your name is…
That is how I spent my time for a while, drifting as I was in the vast emptiness. Still, it’s all in retrospect, I was only recently able to put names and faces on those notions. You must know that I didn’t wallow in the mire because of my cowardice, I could feel somethings wrench away from me. I was losing my heart in this void, some very important emotions and memories, like the love I had for my parents, my passion and desire for Anna… And some more trivial, the texture of stone or the sound and ambiance of torrential rain for example.
I repeated my mantra ad nauseam, hoping for my release of this plundering aura, but I had to come to my senses one day or another, no one but myself could help me. And so, I started experimenting. It’s just that any movement required incredible effort, as every fiber of my every muscle were frozen solid. Felt like ripping off my own skin too. Woo ! More pain for me !
First, I put the handle in the backpack to free my hand, then I picked up my cellphone in order to at least see something. I thus discovered junk food floating out of burst sealed bags and little more than ruined scraps of water bottles. Around me ? Nothing apart from frozen foam. My light didn’t shine on anything anywhere I pointed it to.
Hey, at least I could eat something while asphyxiating.
I tried throwing the lonely handle as to observe how far I could see and, suffice to say, that wasn’t very far.
Ok, now what ?
I found myself idle, not knowing what to do next. Then I felt it. That pulse at the back of my mind, as if demanding my attention but too dim to really notice. I tried grabbing at it, using a sense I had only just discovered before my shifting. I could not put a name on it, but it was definitely real – even in those conditions I could determine that. It wasn’t easy, and I don’t remember how many times I had to reach for it before I finally succeeded. And what it brought was… edifying. Knowledge. Pure raw knowledge. About the Tutorial, the System, stats, apparently a beginner quest and some sort of updates. What I discovered follows.
The Tutorial is, as you’d expect, a place of learning, of adaptation. This is the time and place where you can explore the meanders of the System. For me, it meant jack shit. The System, if what I was contacting at that moment was indeed the System, was barely accessible, as if instead of a clear screen in front of me I had to squint my eyes to seek a glitchy cathodic monitor at the other side of a hallway.
Speaking of which, the info on the System were bare and rare. It is a system - duh - meant to assist the beings that have been reached by a higher plane of existence. Which implied that it was the case for humanity. I wondered for a moment if in the case of extraterrestrial sapience this meant an immediate change for them too. Would the System’s arrival travel like a wave at light speed through our universe ? Or would it just happen everywhere all at the same instant, since it came from another plane – whatever that means. Focusing back on the information gathered, it seemed that the System had brought along a new reality, and changed the paradigm we were in. That was all I learned on the subject.
Next were the stats, and oh boy was I glad for this little bit of good news. Stats implied superhuman growth and opened a lot of possibilities all around. Would it be the old but trusted D&D style ? Or a new one from another set of rules ? Or even something nobody had ever imagined ? Case in point, it is a bit of all of the above. It definitely felt realistic and efficient with a touch of whimsy. Let me show you mines at the time, it’ll be simpler.
Might = 0
Constitution = 2
Finesse = 0
Perception = 0
Intellect = 0
Willpower = 2
Discipline = 0
Wisdom = 0
Charisma = 0
Stability = -1 [Unbalanced]
Fluency = 0
Wits = 0
I’ll give you a moment to mull it over. Hey, I’m not going to give you all the answers ! Reflect on it, deeply, until you understand what it tells us. A part of you already got it, so come on ! Keep up with yourself.
Ok, time’s up. And the answer is… drumroll… The value 0 represents the average capability of a human being. Or of my person, it still is an open question. The 2s mean that when I was agonizing I performed some sort of feat that the System recognized and rewarded me with a rise in these stats. Explains in part the increase in livable time between each death among other things. The -1 indicates my failing mental sanity – shocker ! – while the [Unbalanced] involves another parameter, the margin of variation. If it is within acceptable limits, a stat will accurately represent the actual proficiency of an individual, but if not, then it will say so with an [Unbalanced] tag.
Don’t feel bad if you didn’t get it in time, took me what felt like years to guess how it works. Of course, there were no explanation on any of that. Of fucking course.
Anyway, what I discovered next was the beginner quest. To sum it up, it was a basic quest for newbies in the tutorial. And the first action it asked me to take was to open my status page. Naturally, I voiced “Status” aloud. Or tried to. Until I remembered that sound is a fickle thing in the void.
Well, at least no one saw that.
I then said it in my mind, which worked much better, so much so that instead of flapping my tongue around futilely I had to focus intensely on a tiny speck in that other realm. Took me a while, and a few deaths, but I got what I wanted.
Status :
Physical = Frozen
Mental = In pain and lost, despair settling in
Social = Lonely
Traits = None
Current Path = None
Ding !
For completing the first task of the beginner’s quest, you have unlocked the Paths [It’s a new World] and [It’s a new Life]
For completing the first task of the beginner’s quest, you have been given the Skill [Scrutinize]
Second task of the beginner’s quest : Find a being to use [Scrutinize] on.
Hmmm… Mister System ? Are you aware that there might be a bit of a problem with what you’re asking me to do ? A small tidbit you might have missed. I am all fucking alone in here !
I had to take a breather – ha ! – after that one. But I quickly consoled myself with the other notifications.
Skills, I knew what they were, but Paths were something else entirely. If my suppositions were right - and you know they’re always right – then I might have found a way out. Without waiting, I rushed after the description of those new Paths and Skill. Which means that I laboriously chased after their image. You know the drill.
[It’s a new World] 0/4 : This new world is full of wonders and dangers. Prepare yourself to explore it.
[It’s a new Life] 0/4 : This new life will be a boon and a curse. Prepare yourself to dompt it.
[Scrutinize] Level 0 : Displays a description of the being selected.
Before I could analyze those, my attention was grabbed by the last piece of knowledge that had appeared to me. The updates we’ll call them. And boy were they good to receive.
By performing special actions, you have unlocked the Skills [Apnea] and [Endure]
[Apnea] Level 5 : Ability of the user to hold his breath for long periods of time. Based on Constitution.
[Endure] Level 11 : Propensity of the user to endure pain and torment. Based on Willpower.
You now have 16 PPs to spend.
I then did what comes naturally to any human with cash to spend, I went on a shopping spree.
[It’s a new World] 4/4 : This new world is full of wonders and dangers. You now feel ready to delve into it.
+1 Might OR +1 Intellect OR +1 Charisma
[It’s a new Life] 4/4 : This new life will be a boon and a curse. You now feel more able to wield it.
+1 Constitution OR +1 Willpower OR +1 Stability
You now have 8 PPs to spend.
PPs… Path Points ?
Then, what felt like an eternity later…
For treading the Paths [It’s a new Life] and [It’s a new World] you have been given an appropriate Skill for your Tutorial, [ERROR]
[ERROR] Level 0 : x?ZËn>|¼ùi}=¬ÅÇ]?_KÃ[?ÅÑ#@h?õ~($
Hmm…
Seemed like a glitch in the matrix. Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s not me who broke it. It broke itself ! I’m not the one to blame here ! I hadn’t expected that folding my mind in itself would cause that kind of problem. Hell, I’m not even sur I’m the one who chose to be sent there ! This was pure bullshit.
Fuck the System – I love to say that.
At that point, somewhere in my head, I was a bit excited, more or less. More more than less. Ok, a deep thrill was shaking me. I had found a way out ! Not specifically the way out, but the best next thing, a vague track that led to it. The System was fallible. So maybe, just maybe, I could force my way out.
First off, picking which stats to improve. I yearned mostly for Might and Stability, because, well, who wouldn’t want to be a beefier guy with less psychological issues ? But I had to come to my senses, those would not have helped in this situation, or not as much as the other solutions. In the end I selected Intellect and Willpower, both in order to boost my mental capabilities. I needed imagination and self-control if I was to pull this through.
Next, I lacked a clear concept of what was that new Skill. And of course, my dumb ass thought that querying the System about it would be a fantastic idea. What follows is a taste of what filled my head for a time before my next death.
7;g-v%t>AM8QAM=Qw9KN,L*[&w7sN.#ma`b{h8TayBL+^4/E_xvH?,4[7r8
When I woke up, I could still feel the buzz on the ridges of my consciousness. This had sucked. Just to be safe I checked my status.
Status :
Physical = Freezing
Mental = In relative pain and confused
Social = Lonely
Traits = ERROR
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
Current Path = None
And it appeared the bug had spread to my Traits. I didn’t know what those were yet but hey, it’s not like I was in some sort of tutorial where I was supposed to learn this kind of stuff ! I mean, what kind of System doesn’t come up with a contingency if its Tutorial meets an unexpected condition ? Ok, it doesn’t make sense to plan for the unforeseen, but damn am I still pissed about that !
*
* *
Around a thousand deaths in the Tutorial, the void
Pew-pew-pew !
So, umm… I might have had discovered a magic spell, [Basic Mana Throw]. It may or may not have involved me doing Kamehamehas to relieve boredom. You’ll never know. The Skill in itself was pretty barebones, it just shoots a paltry purple light where I point with the palm of my hand. Still was pretty to look at, and something to pass the time.
But that’s not the sole occupation I found. I determined with my enhanced Intellect and by toggling on and off [Apnea] that my now 3 points in Constitution afforded me around 4 times more leniency when it came to survivability, and [Apnea] further multiplied that by 2 at a level around 25, with a large margin of error due to the Skill constantly ranking up. I could now last a full 5 minutes of total consciousness !
I also brought back from the dead the concept of holograms. Yep, I was a living 3D photo projector. Another Skill, another joy. [Basic Light Manipulation] allowed me to project an image from my eyes. At first, I experimented it with my backpack as the backdrop and as I got more used to the feeling, I started being able to maneuver the light I emitted. For example, I could cast the mirroring of my hands in front of me, and later on I was able to play out parts of the movies that I could remember.
Dear spectators, tonight we have a specialty for you ! A redistribution of an old indy classic that will give you food for thoughts. Dream on my friends, for now is the time of “The Man from the Earth” !
It wasn’t perfect. It relied heavily on my memories of long past seen films, but as they say, don’t look a given horse in the mouth. I think that’s what they say…
My mantra didn’t work so well. I lost quite a lot of myself. Funny thing is, I didn’t mind it that much. I mean, would you care if you had only vague notions of long lost memories ? If you forgot them, they may not be that crucial to your existence. What importance does love possess in the void ?
Anyway, on the get out of dodge side of things I must admit I hadn’t made any major progress. Apart from one little thing. I actually managed to fire the bugged spell. It didn’t have any visible effect but I would still put on a training session every once in a while, just to see what leveling it up would do, and if I even could. I also tried to [Scrutinize] an illusion I created, but got no result from it.
Still, I had to reach deeper. I probed and scoured my mind till the end of all known thoughts until I got some results. A strange sensation it is to comb through your awareness, but a necessity in those times. What I found was a bit… unexpected - but what wasn’t at this point ?
“Salutations, friend.”
With a profound and solemn tone, a male voice reached out to me. I could feel its tremors in my very being, and it was weirdly pleasant. Maybe having someone to talk to would do me good.
Hmm… Hi ? I hesitantly replied.
“This, will not do. One has to greet individuals in the proper manner or one will be sorely disappointed as he watches the backs of potential allies flee away from such dawdling.”
I’m… what ? I don’t…
“You’re not what I thought you’d be, friend. I may need to retire for now…”
No ! Please wait !
I didn’t know what he sought, or how he could have expected anything else other than little old me as at his base he was certainly just a figment of my imagination. Maybe it was my self-deprecation coming to life… But I was desperate for human contact, even one as freaky as a mental onanism.
I’d just like to talk for a while, if possible… I mean, if you would be so inclined, sir…
“… Very well. I shall grant you your wish and entertain a conversation for a time. But I expect you to take heed of my advice, may we meet again. And please, don’t sir me just yet.” He responded royally.
I took real care not to think aloud what I judged him as – a pompous bastard – while rejoicing in this new relieving social contact, quirky as it was, and at the possibility of getting some explanations to my numerous questions. Suffice to say, I quickly began to consider him as my potential personal search engine on the matters of the apocalypse and the System. He seemed like the kind of guy who would know stuff.
So, umm… Who am I speaking with ? And what were you doing in my mind ?
“I am but a simple traveler, looking for the unforeseen, longing for a mythical encounter that will topple my life upside down as never before… Would you be so kind as to point me in the direction of such a person ?”
Ouch… That hurts old man.
“It is but your own fault for assuming you were the object of my destiny. Blame only yourself.”
Okay, you know what ? Go fornicate with your own ego !
Yeah, not the brightest tool in the shed – or was it the sharpest box in the sky ? Damn it. I mean, if you’re gonna insult someone, at least don’t do it in such a civil way ! Minus one point in street cred !
“Fine. You are clearly in a dire need of quite an amount of time sole in order to revise your demeanor. I will see myself out then.” He said, and promptly disappeared from my reach.
Now he’s pissed off and you’re alone, again. You done goofed, me of the past !
Feeling pitiful, I retracted in my shell of well-worn habits, namely training and dying. Nobody ever did say that there’s no such thing as dying too much, but that nobody’s still an ass.
For meeting special requirements, you have unlocked the Path [The Inner Truth]
*
* *
Two thousand-ish deaths in the Tutorial, the void
Yep, it’s official. I’m gone. Broken. Spent.
Status :
Physical = Frozen
Mental = In light pain, helpless and angered
Social = Lonely
Traits = [ERROR]
Current Path = [The Inner Truth]
A lot of time had been put into improving my Skill up till that point. A lot of effort put into a single goal, even if the goal was hardly straightforward. That path I got – from what, one can only guess – had really burned me out. An unattainable target, made to see me suffer. But the regular rewards kept me focused for all this time, wondering what the next one would be, and what fulfilling prize it would garner me.
[The Inner Truth] 123/256 : Look further into your own self. Gaze upon the veritas of your soul.
I had gotten several points in my more psychic oriented Stats from putting PPs into this path, and it made a whole lot of difference. I could think faster, better, stron- An all-around improvement. But what I didn’t expect was the pain slowly trudging along with my accelerated thought process. Made sense after all. I could reflect on it as quickly as I was now able, it still didn’t mean it would make it go away. It just dampened the constant burden, spreading the load on a larger amount of perceived time. And I won’t complain about that.
No, what raised the question, and my fury, was how god damn long it was to finish that damn Path ! All my Skills had leveled up by tremendous amounts and I still wasn’t even half the way there ! I mean, look at that !
[Apnea] Level 41 : Ability of the user to hold his breath for long periods of time. Based on Constitution.
[Endure] Level 53 : Propensity of the user to endure pain and torment. Based on Willpower.
[Basic Mana Throw] Level 22 : Shoots a piece of raw mana toward the target. Based on Intellect.
[Basic Light Manipulation] Level 15 : Allows the user to control light in his sight. Based on Discipline.
So now you understand why I was fuming. Although, silver-linings and all that, I still got those lovable Stats points.
Might = 1
Constitution = 5
Finesse = 0
Perception = 0
Intellect = 2
Willpower = 4
Discipline = 4
Wisdom = 3
Charisma = 0
Stability = -3 [Unbalanced]
Fluency = -1
Wits = 0
Terrific. Sure, my Fluency tanked along with my Stability, but seeing this downward trend, now you know why you’ve been following the rambling of a delirious madman – I’ve still put a lot of work into this monologue, so be grateful !
Ah, whatever. You’re probably just another part of me, deep down I know it. So be grateful, me !
Something I’ve noticed is that the System seems to follow a binary rule of thumb. Every point based bonus, be it Stats or Paths, functions as a multiple of two. It’s logical after all. Surely, not all sapient beings possess ten countable limbs. Every species has the potential to have a different number base, so why not pick the simplest one, down to the basics ? Binary’s simple, it’s either on or off. True, or false. One, or zero. And then you build on that with smooth operations. Yeah, I dig that, I’m not ashamed.
Wait, did I forget to tell you about Stats Bonuses ? It’s an intuitive turning point system. I attained 4 in three attributes so I got three new skills. Clean, right ? Oh, and before I let it slip, I did gain a Might point. The struggle to move my petrified limbs did pay off.
For reaching a milestone in Constitution you have been given the skill [Basic Physical Regeneration]
For reaching a milestone in Willpower you have been given the skill [Basic Mental Confidence]
For reaching a milestone in Discipline you have been given the skill [Basic Mental Tolerance]
They’re pretty self-explanatory so I won’t bother laying it out for you.
All this period of working out non-stop brought about a mixed bag in the end. I wasn’t happy, pretty furious rather, but I had to admit this was going the right direction. The matter now was how slow Skills were to level up. After getting in the thirties, it was a real pain in the ass to grind them. So, next idea was, to come up with new Skills of course ! Sadly, they don’t grow on trees, and there weren’t that much trees around anyway. The passives would go up by themselves but I needed something to do so as to not fall deeper into insanity, and you can only shoot so much Kamehamehas before it gets old.
Brainstorm time !
What could I perform in the void ? Physical things were out of the question, nothing to touch around here, and social interactions were… compromised at the time. So, mind-bending shenanigans it was ! Now, exactly what could I realize by using my brain ? Calculate real fast ? Seemed more related to the Intellect Stat than a Skill. Visualize a utopia and imagine every single being living their own life ? Processing power intensive, check, but still an Intellect thing, plus a bit out of my grasp. Create physical objects from the power of my thoughts ? [Basic Light Manipulation] would most likely supersede any attempts at a new skill and it might be farfetched. Controlling some kind of element ? Slight problem. Control what exactly ? My backpack ? What element is that ?
The classical elements were a stupid idea – there’s no such thing – but what about the forces of nature ? I didn’t want to mess with the primordial laws of the world but… Who am I kidding ? Of course, I wanted to. I ached to ! Disintegrate stone by a look, crush your enemies into themselves, reverse time !
Disrupting the inner force of the atom proved to be much more difficult than I had thought, the strength of a single bond was capable of intense radiation if ruptured, and controlling time was even more complicated since I had no point of comparison. The one I would have the most success with was gravity. At least, when you’re stuck in nowhere-land, you’re free of any weight constraint, and as such, free to experiment with all kinds of mental pulls and pushes. So much so that applying pressure to the fabric of reality came pretty easily to me and I quickly obtained what I coveted.
By performing special actions, you have unlocked the Skill [Basic Gravity Control]
The power is mine.
I slowly sailed away from the heap of detritus surrounding me. It’s amazing the mess a simple backpack filled with junk food and a blasted fire extinguisher can leave behind while still frozen solid. Anyway, that Skill worked in mysterious ways. For once, I couldn’t nudge my entire body, only a small part of it. In order to fly, I actually pressed some force into my fist and dragged the rest of me along. Picture Superman in common clothing with some foam glued to his left side and you’ll get the idea. Second is that try as I might, tugging in two opposing directions was impossible to me. And last, the maximum of anchor points I could manage simultaneously numbered in the half dozen at their minimum size of small marbles.
Still happy as can be with such a reward, I resumed my training regimen, adding the quick flying lessons in between bursts of gleaming mana and even shinier flashes.
*
* *
A few thousands of deaths in the Tutorial, the void
Whoa… My love… My darling. I've hungered for your touch. A long… Lonely time…
What ? Never seen someone sculpting light ? You should get some more time outside, mate.
Anyhow, as I progressed progressively in maddening madness, I received some good news, with quite a bit of lag and interferences as always. But here’s the clean notification.
By improving your grasp of [Basic Light Manipulation], your Skill has ranked up to [Lesser Light Manipulation] !
[Lesser Light Manipulation] Level 30 : Allows the user to control light inside a perimeter around him. Based on Discipline.
I immediately stopped forming the perfect picture of an ancient Chinese porcelain - with penises inscribed on the butt, it goes without saying - and reviewed the sum of information available to me. One, it’s possible to evolve Skills. I had predicted it, the names were kind of a dead giveaway, but it was nice to confirm it. Two, the rank up of a Skill seemed to provide a bonus to its leveling up, as I now felt a lot more comfortable with creating light. And three, with [Lesser Light Manipulation] acquired, I didn’t need to project the image from my retinas anymore, I could actually figure it dancing behind me and it would. Which was cool, I guess.
I might have been able to envelope myself in a shiny coating at that point, Silver Surfer style. But oh well, that was a project for another time. Still, I had to wonder how I came upon this rank up, the only thing that had changed was my proficiency in the Skill before it did. Or is it ? I can now remember thinking about how the light was refracting on Sam while he faded away, how an immaterial being reflected light. I had asked myself if what [Basic Light Manipulation] was doing was of the same kind and… had come up with a hypothesis. A hypothesis that supposed that the Skill wasn’t truly manipulating light as it claimed, because light is a finicky thing to get a grip on, but creating a structure to shape it, to lead it. It would explain why my eyes were the point of origin, if what it could only do was mirroring what I emitted from them.
Bolstered by my lightbulb moment, I tried the same process with all of my skills, and got some results.
I started with [Basic Gravity Control] as it was the one with a basic in its name I understood the best. I pondered my old physics lessons of high school – not that long ago but after passing away so many times I felt like the world had run me over for an entire lifetime. I recalled how gravity and time were connected in some sort of space-time continuum but quickly dropped the concept, as I had no idea how to work that out. But something jumped to me, the fact that what I considered as pushing and pulling were the same force, just oriented differently to me. Plus, force equals mass times acceleration. So, what was I affecting ? Mass or acceleration ?
You have to understand, I had not been known to be a bright kind of guy, and while I could still appreciate the grand theories, advanced science had not been my cup of tea. I had a good memory, which allowed me to pass the senior’s final test with flying colors, but didn’t help me get a decent job afterward. All to say that at that point I felt definitely superior to my younger me. I could reflect on the matter at hand with what felt like incredible focus, and my thoughts reached further than ever before. A mix of astonishment and intense thinking was taking me on a subtle and gentle high.
My conclusion was twofold. I was either changing my linear acceleration or creating a new force on a defined mass, and the way to evolve my Skill was pretty straightforward. I had to crush something. You see, gravity is consistent and omnipresent. So, applying it in a laminar way is not the prime expected result of its manipulation. It is to compress in a single point. Sure, if something is farther enough, it might seem like it’s going straight, but it’s not. It’s all angles and circles.
After reducing my now useless backpack into mush, I quickly got a notification. But could only read it long after… The all focus and squint your mind to get information was really getting old.
By improving your grasp of [Basic Gravity Manipulation], your Skill has ranked up to [Lesser Gravity Manipulation] !
By improving your grasp of [Lesser Gravity Manipulation], your Skill has ranked up to [Minor Gravity Manipulation] !
[Minor Gravity Control] Level 15 : Allows the user to control gravity to a greater extent. Based on Intellect and Discipline.
Yippie Ki Yay Motherfucker !
And now, [Endure]. All in all, it was just my brain enduring the pain, but maybe I could force it to entirely block it, to not even register it. And sure enough…
By improving your grasp of [Endure], your Skill has ranked up to [Pain Tolerance] !
[Pain Tolerance] Level 48 : Propensity of the user to ignore pain and torment. Based on Willpower.
Ok, I couldn’t completely stop it. Yet.
Great hope is worth a lot more than disappointing fulfillment.
I was just comforting myself, don’t worry. Next up was [Basic Mana Throw]. But I didn’t talk about mana yet. For the simple reason that, at the time, I had a misconception about it in my mind, being raised by videogames will do that to you. I believed it followed rules, of pools and regen, exhaustion and cooldowns. But I only just recently became aware that it doesn’t even have these rules. It’s a simple problem of creating a vivid enough image in your head and will it on the reality to bend matter. Mana actually represents your propensity to believe your own lies. But it only applies to physical things, whereas… Oh, almost spoiled you there. You little devil nearly got me, ah !
I got working on my understanding of the mana throwing, while absentmindedly grinding other abilities. As I said, I was biased, and as such didn’t get further than ‘Dunno. Shoots violet stuff.’
So, I did the best I could. I shot myself in the knee. And it hurt. Even with my painkiller. It was like a tiny speck of molten dust had penetrated my skin and lodged itself in my patella. As the pain decreased, I discovered a clean burned hole in my jeans, with a small patch of charred skin poking out. But no blood, as the wound had been cauterized the instant the raw mana had slipped in my kneecap.
But it hadn’t been for nothing. As I had formed the spell in my mind, and been on the receiving end of it, I could compare the image I had of the magic with its result. And they were indeed different. I had pictured it as a little bit of free energy launched in a straight path, but I now had to wonder what it meant in the physical world. Energy doesn’t have a real presence, it’s stored in various forms inside actual matter, as far as I knew. So, what had I created ? Plasma. A condensed smoothie of elemental particles. Scorching hot, the smoothie. I had to admit it didn’t fit my conceptualization of mana, but maybe the hint was in the raw part, I thought. This led to my next hypothesis on the nature of [Basic Mana Throw], that I should stick to what I knew of physics. To the nature of things, and just adapt it to my needs. If I had had to, I probably could have tried and used it to expel oxygen, but that was a far-off goal to set. For now, I had to settle for plasma. Poor me.
And, as if to confirm my thoughts…
By improving your grasp of [Basic Mana Throw], your Skill has ranked up to [Lesser Mana Throw] !
[Lesser Mana Throw] Level 37 : Shoots a piece of raw matter toward the target. Based on Intellect.
I felt more than ready to tackle the issue, ready to put in some work toward my objective. So, now, a training montage !
*
* *
Let’s say six thousand deaths in the Tutorial, the void
… It’s the end of the world, as we know it… It’s the end of the world, as we know it. And I feel fine…
[The Inner Truth] 254/256 : Look further into your own self. Gaze upon the veritas of your soul.
Yep, that’s right. After all this time, I was finally nearing the completion of my self-appointed goal. I can’t say I wasn’t eager to end it, yet I was filled with a kind of premature melancholy. Looking back on all the sweat poured into this, the battle to meet that required number of PP, I’m still feeling sentimental to this day. That’s why I was currently taking a break, reviewing my entire resume. Here’s some of it.
Might = 2
Constitution = 6
Finesse = 0
Perception = 0
Intellect = 4
Willpower = 6
Discipline = 6
Wisdom = 7
Charisma = 0
Stability = -4 [Unbalanced]
Fluency = -1
Wits = 0
[Pain Tolerance] Level 63 : Propensity of the user to ignore pain and torment. Based on Willpower.
[Apnea] Level 49 : Ability of the user to hold his breath for long periods of time. Based on Constitution.
[Lesser Mana Throw] Level 43 : Shoots a piece of raw matter toward the target. Based on Intellect.
[Lesser Light Manipulation] Level 38 : Allows the user to control inside a perimeter around him. Based on Discipline.
[Minor Gravity Control] Level 35 : Allows the user to control gravity to a greater extent. Based on Intellect and Discipline.
[Meditation] Level 19 : Calmness incarnate, the user lets all practical matters wash away and rejuvenate his mind. Based on Wisdom.
Looks good, innit ? Intellect and Wisdom having finally exceeded 3 points, I got some new passives. And yes, I did discover a new Skill. I was minding my own business, thinking of nothing particular during an intermission, when this arse of a System blared in my head I had gotten another ability. I mean, sure, the Skill was a nice touch, but the timing ! Almost felt deliberate just to nag at me.
Anyway… Was I ready for the grand finale ? The big reveal ? Is that your final answer ? I’m gonna phone a friend.
I was a bit shy at first, probing lightly the place in my head I had found him in last time. But no luck, he wasn’t there anymore. With little hope I kept laggardly scouting for him. Until he was there. Doing whatever he was doing deep inside my mind. I had to wonder if he had constructed a little home for himself out of my souvenirs. A bit of my old crib for the porch, the windows of my parents’ house, my crappy TV…
“I see you have returned, at last. If I wasn’t so magnanimous I would mention your late apology, but things being what they are, I will gladly accept them. Come, friend.”
And voila, I already didn’t want to speak to him anymore.
Greetings. I hope you didn’t wait for me too long. I said, clenching my figurative teeth.
“It is of little importance. Now, tell me, what brings you in this insignificant neck of the wood ?”
My cheek had a tiny spasm right then. You know you’re talking about my memories, right ? … I came looking for answers. I am currently stuck in a dire situation and, well, I was counting on your assistance to clear some… interrogations I have.
“I might agree to such a proposal, but every favor calls for a compensation. Raise your questions, and we shall see about their price.” His voice was as enthralling as ever. If only he was a bit more cooperative, I could have friended the guy.
Took me a minute to find the right one. It was just like choosing your three wishes for a malevolent genie. You carefully lay it out and hope nothing is going to come bite you in the ass.
Okay. Let’s start it slow. How may I call you ? Better not to poke the bear too much and lull him in a sense of civility.
“Good, your courteousness progressed. Adalfaro is the moniker you shall use when addressing me.”
Adalfaro, a strange name if I ever heard one. Sounded ancient and dignified. My image of him settled on ‘Old and wise guy with a superiority complex’.
Nice to meet you, Adalfaro. Next is, I’d like to know how can I solve my current dilemma. You see, complete emptiness isn’t really my favorite place to be, and I’d be really glad to come back home. I hoped my desperation wasn’t too apparent, didn’t want him to demand too much out of me.
“I am deeply sorry, but I cannot help you in any way regarding this sinister matter. One does not escape the void I am afraid.”
Bah, you and I know that’s not true, but at the time doubt sneaked its way into me. In the end, I did refuse to believe this was true.
Well, fuck me sideways, right ?
“Flamboyant as always. You may be interested to know that not all is lost. I do not understand how you defy death. There might be material to solve your issue in there.”
Right. Keep looking, that’s what you’re saying ? You’ll be happy to know that that was the plan all along.
I tried regaining my composure, focusing on what else he might offer me.
Anyway. Can you just tell me what you do know ? Any insight that might be useful to share. Anything at all, really.
Fishing with dynamites, lovin’ it.
“That is too broad of a request. You might not like its price.” He replied apologetically.
And what would be that price ?
“Your soul…”
This absolutely did not raise any flags, none at all. Just a regular exchange of information for a soul. Yep, nothing wrong there.
Like Hell I’m gonna give you my soul ! Not a chance, you crazy old… schmuck ! And what have you been up to in my head ? What are you doing ?
“Not a thing, I assure you. I am not one to trifle with such a thing as free will. In addition to that I am unable to subvert you in any way, I may only speak to you in this manner. So, don’t you worry, friend. You have nothing to fear from me.”
Yeah, trust the guy who lusts for your heart when he says he’s not messing with you. Sure.
“I can understand the anxiety such a threat might induce… To make up for it… I shall grant you one question free of any charge. I shall answer it to the best of my knowledge and ability.” I could hear his regret at this realization. He genuinely did feel obliged to me.
And I pondered, long and large. What kind of crucial query did I have in store ? What would help balance our waning relationship, if we could call it that ? One in particular rose above the others. For what reason, one might imagine.
What is the System ? In its core ? Where does it come from ?
At that, he seemed to pause, to break from our connection in a way that told me I was about to be hit by an unfurling flood of information. He then returned, and with his now familiar profound inflection said this.
“That is a good question. What is the System ? You have been briefed on the readily available facts, but achieved no satisfying answer to any basic inquest. You ask for its provenance, but a better direction to take would be asking who or what made it. After all, every kind of automatization known to any lifeforms derives from one or several sapient beings. Indeed, it could be an artificial one who could have constructed it, but the question still applies. Which genius individual, or group of, made, or caused, the appearance of the System a reality ?”
Yes ! That’s… better put than I did… but exactly what I meant ! So, who are they ? What do they want ?
This was the moment I would get the answers to my questions. Who shall I blame for my untimely demise ? Who made me suffer until I couldn’t remember what not being in pain was ? What do I do ? How do I stop it ? Those were critical issues !
“I have no idea.” Came his response, as flat as my heartbeat. “I only know a few rare truths about myself, but not a lot about the world at large. In fact, I know nothing beyond the void, it has been my life for as long as I can remember. Apart from what I could gather from your souvenirs and other bits here and there, the outside world is absolutely unknown to me.”
As the disappointment flew away, leaving me shocked and troubled, I started putting two and two together.
Wait a second… So not only are you a devil contractor who wants my soul, but you’re also a leech who feeds off of my memories !?
I may have tried to strangle him telepathically at that point, it may have not worked, and I may have screamed silently into the void. Until I felt him disappear. But not in the same way he had previously. This time, he was, in a way, expelled. Banished away, at the fringe of my consciousness. I had literally exiled him from my mind in pure anger. And I wished him back, as simply as flipping a switch. It didn’t mean I felt guilty about it - he really deserved that mental backslap - but our conversation had not met its end yet.
He almost immediately started wailing. “Oh please, my lord, please ! Do not cast me away from your light ! I… I am lost, and desperately in need of your guidance out of this terrible emptiness !”
He pleaded for his cause as if his life depended on it, which, to be fair, was a rather safe bet to make in there. Plus, the shock might have whacked him the wrong way, he seemed… strangely submissive all of a sudden.
Explain yourself, now !
“I… I was born here, in the void. I do not recollect my entire life, but I can say this, not even an atom can survive it. I observed many objects and beings caught in its trap, not one has ever survived it, and every part of them ended up swallowed in the void’s never-ending stomach. I… sustained myself with the immaterial vestiges left behind. Mind you, I don’t absorb them, I simply… relive them. Be it a birth, a stroke of a hammer, the fear such a place can generate or even an unassuming memory, I play them back inside me. And it nurtures me.
“Then, you appeared. And you died, like so many before you. You floated there for an instant, not a care in the world. I didn’t hurry much, for I knew you would be stuck there for a while. I had seen it so many times after all… But you came back. You opened your eyes, and started convulsing again. Then died. Then lived. And so on, and so forth.
“I was mesmerized. You, a scrawny little thing, outlived what uncountable entities could not. You have survived what one would name ‘The end of the World’. Naturally, I deducted that your souvenirs were a highly sought-after delicacy, and I invaded you. I did not really know any better, so, please excuse my behavior. What I discovered is honestly the most fascinating person I ever had the privilege of reliving its souvenirs. Or a part of, there seems to be a gaping hole in your memory, I do not know if you have noticed.
“That’s around when you first contacted me. I thought you would be my savior, my hero, come here to wrench me out of such an undesirable state of affairs. But you were just as lost as me. Worse, my image of you depreciated to one of a rude and clueless character with anger issues. I left and continued living in your mind. Hum… A small note about that, if you’d allow me ?”
Just… Continue.
“You should really consider building a foundation for your own sanity. It seems to be withering as of late. In any case, I must applaud you, you have a very cozy head, apart from that hole I mentioned earlier.”
Thanks… I guess ? Then, noticing my deviating train of thoughts, I reined back in the conversation. And why did you demand my soul when I asked for your help ?
“Well, I did specify there would be an expenditure to concede… “
And you deem my soul a fair price ? To what amounts to practically nothing ? You don’t know shit about what’s happening to me ! You know what it’s called ? Fraud !
“No ! I absolutely did not commit such a crime ! I only… failed to contain my desires. It is very humane to do so, I hear.”
Suit yourself. Enjoy the void.
“Wait ! I can still help you !” Desperation filled his voice, creating a troubling tremolo, fluctuating between bass and baritone.
Speak.
“I may have not been truthful when I said I had no clue as to how you could return to your world. I may… I may have an idea.”
I was still suspicious of him, but… And why didn’t you say so earlier ?
“Because it involves you finishing the Tutorial, and I doubt it will carry me along…”
Explain ? Now I was interested.
“This Path you have been training for all this time, I believe you were right to do so. It gave you an occupation, but most importantly I devise that its final reward might be the solution to your lack of target for [Scrutinize]. If you recall correctly, you discovered this Path by conversing with me, correct ? Then it may be possible later on, with the reward from this Path, to use that Skill on me ! After all, I am indeed a being, not a physical one, but a being nonetheless !”
So, your solution is to do as I had already planned ?
“Yes, but you will still need my presence for such an endeavor ! See ! I’m useful !” His voice had suddenly shifted in the sopranos in the end, definitely not on purpose.
At that, I had nothing left to add. I then consigned him to a safe location inside of me, a space filled with but a single memory, one of watching endlessly the circular movement of a washing machine.
Don’t eat my brain, you memo-muncher !
“I told you I don’t-“
Finally, I could compose myself back. This guy was really tiring to manage. His attitude may have been one of a disgusting mental rapist, but he kinda grew on me at the end. He seemed almost glad to have finally found a purpose, and to have a person to talk to, even if he didn’t really show it.
When I considered going back to training, a notification I had inadvertently dismissed came back to me.
By performing special actions, you have unlocked the Skill [Mental Shell]
[Mental Shell] Level 2 : Creates a barrier between your mind and every outside influence. Based on Willpower.
And that’s how I finally got back on track, heading straight for deliverance-town !