so i got finals this and next week. that WILL impact my writing schedule, so hope for as many chapters as you want, but EXPECT about two a week..... there may be more, but i make no promises......

it may seem like i skipped a chapter, but i didn't. you get a glimpse of the important stuff in a flash back at the beginning of next chapter, so if you see something and go "But wait wasn't he/she/it _____?" just know that it isn't a mistake and role with it. I.E: Natasha woke up.

anyway, this is one of those chapters where you see how Alt isn't as OP as  he may seem at times.

and also, you figure stuff out about Alt's memory in an upcoming chapter.....

ENJOY!!!!!!

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Well that kinda sucked….. Shame I had kinda started to like Joselin too….. Oh well, it’s a better fate than what mom had planned for her at least, or… not….. By killing her, I did just send her to the Void…. Maybe eternal torture was the better fate after all? Oh well, no use thinking about that now, even if I wanted to make a curative for that particular strain of serum I couldn’t here… and it would take too much work to go all the way back to my lab, mix something up, THEN administer that to someone who is constantly twitching and writhing from imagined pain….. You live, you learn Alt... You live, you learn. Think off the perfect torture for your enemy BEFORE you set your plans in motion, that way there are no regrets or dissatisfaction afterwards….

I walked out of what was probably the operation center to this whole base. The place I had just searched through to find the locations of the other facilities that Frayed Assurance had, that we didn’t know about before now. I had found much more than we were able to get out of Joselin, so this plan was already a huge success in my eyes. I now knew that Frayed Assurance was based mainly out of an entirely different continent, and from there trade and supply records they had only come here to the continent of Izra six years ago. Now that I knew a Divine was involved, and involved DIRECTLY by leading this whole thing in person and in this world, I didn’t think that this timing being just after the time I was born was a coincidence…

Well I’ve already let everyone know the important info through the crystal link between us, but I guess I really should brief everyone in my family together at once. That way everyone has all the details, and we can all figure out how to handle this situation……. And stop mom from going on a rampage of mass destruction that wipes out all life on a large portion of the Ol’sia continent… I might need Lizote’s help for that….. And may have to resort to drastic measures of the cute kind…. Fuck I hope I don’t need to put on a dress again……

This whole raid was going well so far, but there were some hiccups along the way. As I walked I felt my neck, the hand print bruise was gone, but the memory was still there. That woman damn near killed me, my charm and cuteness didn’t even faze her and wasn’t nearly strong enough to break out of her hold.

If Joselin hadn’t come when she had…. If her little trail of death hadn’t lead her to where I went to search around…. If she had somehow escaped the hold of the things implanted in her mind…… if any one thing was just a little different, I’d be dead right now……. I think it’s time to step out of the front lines for a while, at least until I work up some serious pure combat ability and stats…. I have immortality, so it’s not like I won’t have time to do the whole “Unstoppable-War-Machine” thing later on in life….

I found my way to the large lobby type room that we had set as my meeting and extraction point. I was actual rather tired of this whole operation, too much risk to myself than I’d like. Plus I didn’t really feel safe on my own here, especially after finding out my charm wasn’t as infallible as I had thought.

At least Joselin cleared out everyone around this area…. Seems like sheer rage, hatred, and fear can make someone dangerous, even to people stronger than they were… The element of surprise and the psychological aspect of a trusted comrade turning on you probably helped out too….

I used my mind to access the crystal deep in my left hand that linked me to my personal command network.

Till, I’m here. Come pick me up, I’m ready to go back home now……

Alt, my team and I will be with you soon. We are only five minutes out from the rendezvous point, hang in there for just a bit longer by yourself and we’ll get you home soon! (Till)

I let out a little sigh, I guess I had been tense ever since my near death at the hands of nameless angry-leader-lady. Only now that everything was over, did I feel that tension leave me. I was tired and I couldn’t wait to get home, kick back, find a nice strawberry flavored virgin, and watch some shows on the crystal TV…

Yeah, I like that plan…. Maybe Lizote’ll be back too! Hey I wonder if mom has gained most of her strength back yet, if she did we could have a big movie night to celebrate the defeat of the main forces of Frayed Assurance on the continent, before we do the planning for their total destruction!!! Oh and maybe we can even have popcorn with chocolate flavored blood on top!!! Oh and we could-…..

“There you are Halfling. I had thought that all the destruction to this facility was because of you.” (???)

Oh and would you look at that, all the tension magically reappears!!! Oh and it brought its friends shock and confusion with it too!!! How nice, why don’t you pop out of nowhere somewhere NOT RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF ME next time…

I looked at the man who was dressed in gaudy massive golden armor, and was currently standing in the middle of the room looking down at me. He must’ve had some sort of invisibility or teleportation ability, because I damn sure am not so tired as to miss a six and a half foot, armored in fucking bright golden plate, holding a big-ass one handed war axe and shield, guy who talks like he is master of the fucking universe. 

Enough of this shit, I’m tired, I’m uncomfortable, and I’m a lot less confident in myself and my stats because of today.

I don’t feel like dealing with whatever the fuck this guy wants right now….. Cuteness powers go!!!!!!

I gripped the edge of my shirt, did some shy cute shuffling from foot to foot while looking up at him through my lashes.

“Mister, are you mad at me? I don’t want you to be mad at me…..” (Alt)

I heard a grunt.

“Please don’t tell me you are trying to charm ME into doing something. You do realize that sort of stuff only works on those that have a neutral or better view of you as a person right? And even then, without any magic it will only work if they find you attractive. Are you really THAT stupid?” (Golden Armor guy)

I’ll show you stupid you IGNORANT FUCKING TROG!!!!! Just wait a few minutes and I’ll have over a hundred different solders show you JUST how stupid I am!!!!

I moved my hands behind my back, stopped shuffling, and trembled both my lips and body. I even teared up and let a little bit of crying sadness seep into my voice.

“You don’t think I’m pretty? That’s kinda mean to say mister….” (Alt)

“You really don’t get it do you freak? I don’t LIKE you, in fact I pretty much hate you as much as anyone can in a first meeting. I don’t even FEEL attraction to anything other than Lady Fray, so your act here? It just serves to annoy me. That’s it. No compulsion to make you happy, no hesitation to hurt your little body. Nothing but annoyance.” (Armor guy)

……….. Wow the power of cute is REALLY dropping the ball today…… but hey at least I’m getting info outta the guy. Welp, time for the age old trick of keeping someone monologing so they are too distracted to notice that reinforcements have come. And I get the added bonus of learning his “Diabolical Master Plan”! Neato!!!!

I dropped the cutesy act, and just looked at the guy. This was going to be easy, I could recall a shit-ton of villains who would waste time monologing instead of killing someone, the fragments of my past life was chock full of them. As I had just done something very similar with Joselin, I could also understand how easy it is to give in to the temptation and explain how right you are and how perfect your plan is. I, of course, did it the safe smart way, the way that DIDN’T come back to bite you in the ass, but still.

Needless to say I had plenty of material to pull from, and if this ass-hat served that Fray goddess, then he needed me alive anyway. Cakewalk.

“Soooooo….. If you’re not here to indulge in your illicit fantasies of trying to pick up little boys and do STUFF with them like you look, why are you here? And why the fuck did you bother ME?” (Alt)

“Wow you really are an arrogant little fuck aren’t you? You think you can talk to ME like that just because you’re some freak of nature that my Lady wants as a pet? You think tha-….” (Annoying Armor Guy)

I smirked at the guy. Angry people always tended to make mistakes and reveal more than they should, it was a matter of psychology and behavior. This idiot is gonna be the same way.

“Yes I am, and yes I do. Now if you’re all done with your little “I’m big and important” tantrum, I’d like to get back to the reason you’re here, and why the fuck you felt you had to ruin my day with your presence.” (Alt)

He took a step forward and raised his axe, but then stopped. I could almost feel the anger and hate coming off the guy.

Hook, line, and sinker……

“Listen you little shit, you aren’t nearly as important as you seem to think you are. I would be more than happy to just kill your ass and be done with you, if you don’t want to come with me quietly. In fact that killing you may be the best idea I’ve had all day, that way Lady Fray won’t have to bother with all your bullshit herself…..” (Armor guy)

Well…… that didn’t go quite like I thought it would…… he’s probably just bluffing though….

“Well too bad for you, your goddess needs me alive for her plans!” (Alt)

“Not really, she only really needs a decent sized piece of you actually…..” (Armor guy)

I felt more than saw the flash of movement. I moved as swiftly as I was able to, to the right, and saw him as he cut down with his axe the area my head used to occupy.

Fuck this guy is fast! If I wasn’t used to fighting with Fera, I would’ve probably not even noticed that attack…. I’m not quite ready to test how far my regeneration will go before I’m DEAD dead…. Gotta do something to slow him down. Think Alt, what can keep him off focus and slow him down at the same time? ………… Oh, duh! Taunting!!! That’s like super hero/villain 101!!!!

I felt a shit-eating grin form on my face. I had always wanted to try something like this. Witty banter and taunts are the cornerstone of comic-book-fights.

I jumped back as far as I could, putting my back almost against one of the room’s walls. I opened myself up to all my senses, and fell into my natural adaptive stance.

With my back protected I only have to worry about attacks from the front, or magic…… always have to worry about magic…… fuck I really need to learn magic, or at least some sort of countermeasure to magic….. But for now.

I looked up at the armored guy and made a face of blatant false concern.

“Good golly mister! That could’ve hurt someone! You have to be careful when running with sharp objects! Didn’t your mommy ever teach you that?!” (Alt)

He turned towards me and dropped his shield to the ground. He flicked the wrist of the hand holding the axe a few times and rolled his shoulders.

“Keep talking you little fuck. It won’t help you now, and trust me when I say you ain’t coming out of this alive.” (Armor guy)

“Hey that reminds me, what’s your name? It isn’t something retarded like “Mort, epic hero of the uselessly shiny armor” is it? Fuck man, sorry, I think that might just be it…. It just suits you and your style so well you know?” (Alt)

I rolled to the side as the axe embedded itself so deep into the wall, I couldn’t even see the blade anymore. I pushed up from the roll onto my feet only stumbling a little in the act, and ran hard for the nearest corner of the room. I gave myself enough space away from the walls that I could move back if I needed to, but still forced him into a closed range to attack from.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

So far he hasn’t used any magic, but that doesn’t mean anything really……. This guy may not be as fast as Fera is at her best, but he does seem stronger. I doubt even the regeneration of black blood can save me if he cuts through my brain AND heart all in one go….. Maybe it could, but I’m not taking that chance…….

Wait fuck, am I trembling? From fear? Fucking stop that right now, Alt!!! Fear is just a tool, use it just like you would anything else. Let it help you, make you faster and more aware, but don’t let it control you. NOTHING controls you got that Alt? NOTHING!!!!

I shook out my limbs as I watched the guy trying to kill me attempt to pull my possible future murder weapon out of where it was stuck on the wall. I whistled a long and clear note.

“That right there be stuck as stuck can be! I reckon yous might be fix’n tah look for a new thing-o’magger, might'n want tah think bout one less sharp this time round? Then yah wouldn’t have tah look like an igiot try’n tah pull it outta some wall.” (Alt)

“You do realize that you’re going to die soon right? you should drop the smartass act now. All I need is some leverage and-….” (Mort)

“Gee wiz Mort, you need leverage? Well isn’t that just the darndest thing, I know all about LEVERAGE!!! Here why don’t you try to lift with your knees instead of your back, can’t go around killing amazingly clever and all around awesome people with a sore back now can you?” (Alt)

“……Hey, that actually helped….” (Mort)

I watched as he pulled out the axe, causing cracks to spread in the wall around were it used to be. Mort the slayer of all things nice, awesome, and cool took off his unnecessarily ornate helmet and turned to face me with a creepy smile.

Is it bad that I want him to wear the helmet again? Is that like uglyism or something? Oh fuck it, this shit-toboggan wants to kill me, I can be uglyist to him if I want!!!

“U! G! L! Y! You ain’t got no alibi!!!…..” (Alt)

His face twisted into a look of rage, and he began to walk towards me slowly.

“What was that you just said you little shit?” (Mort)

I looked him in the eyes and grinned.

“Ummm…. A hit song from my memories of an old world..... Came out in the 90’s I think? Anyway, I can’t really remember the artist who did it, but it does make a fitting theme song for you doesn’t it?” (Alt)

I braced myself to dodge, he might be strong and fast, but he lacked the precision in his attacks that I was used to from sparring with Fera. He also lacked the commitment to an attack, Fera would show strategic openings, lure you in with faints, and strike at even the smallest gap of your defenses. This guy seemed to only put the barest thought into his attacks, like he assumed I’d try to block them or just let them kill me. He also seemed to be overly careful, not showing any openings, at the cost of losing out on attacks he could make against me.

The hell? Is this guy dumb AND ugly? Wow man, your goddess Fray was not kind…… I think even a monkey could tell I stand no chance of beating your ass in a fair fight, hell I don’t even have a weapon, but you’re wasting opportunities and mobility to GUARD!?!?!?!? ……. Well it does make my job easier… Now if you’d just let me stall you for a minute or two more…..

I leapt to the left as his weapon cut a horizontal line of fire across the spot where I just was and the walls behind it. His axe was on fire now.

And so was his armor.

Not fair….. I WANT FLAMING MAGICAL STUFF TOO!!!!!!! Why can’t my weapons just spontaneously burst into flames? Is it because I don’t have any magic? This SUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKSSSSSS I even have mage oriented stats, but I don’t know any magic!!!!! Maybe I should’ve just asked Hellatia for some when she gave me those other powers…….

I moved into the center of the room where I had a full range of motion, I would probably need it since he seemed to pick up on my “using the environment to my advantage” stunt and magic pretty much killed that strategy dead.

“Pfssshhh, so your weapons shoot fire… big deal!!! Isn’t that just a fantasy cliché by now anyway? Way to join the flaming weapon band-wagon there Morty boy!” (Alt)

Mort the flaming shit-toboggan turned and snarled at me. Like, actually snarled like some sort of animal would. The guy needed to get new, better material for expressing his anger, because this was just sad…

I might have, maaaaayyyyybbbbbbeeee pushed him a tad too far with the taunting…… or maybe not enough? Probably that first one, but he does seem less focused now and this is fun as hell, scary, but fun as hell.... So there is that. Taunting and witty banter For-The-Win!!!!!

“You really never shut up do you? Well fine, you may move around like some sort of rat, but all I have to do is hit you once and you’re cooked.” (Mort)

I visible made myself cringe.

“Oh Mort, if you have to kill me then fine, but please PLEASE don’t subject me to another shitty pun…… I think I’d rather a horrible death as my fate than have to deal with that….” (Alt)

“FUCK YOU!!!!” (Mort)

I made a show of looking him up and down.

“Yeah…… gonna have to take a pass on that…. I only plan to do that to girls, and you are NO WHERE cute enough for me to ever even THINK about crossing that line with YOU… thanks for the offer though I guess? It was…. flattering? ….Maybe? .....But my answer is still: FUCK NO!!!!” (Alt)

It was interesting watching Mort’s face after that last comment. First there was confusion, then there was a flash of real hurt that I didn’t expect to ever see in this fight, then came the sheer rage that I DID expect.

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Mort)

He threw his axe at me, I don’t know what he was aiming at, but I dropped to the ground and felt rather than saw the axe whiz over me.

That dumbass just threw away his only weapon!!! HAHAHAHAhahahahaha who taught this guy how to fight, seriously? This is just getting sad at this point….

I got up and looked at the guy.

“Hey Mort just, you know in the name of honesty and all that, I thought you should know…. In your little tug-of-war match a while ago, I was routing for the wall. In my defense, it WAS the more compelling and attractive option available, but I guess you must hear that excuse a lot, huh?” (Alt)

“YOU. DIE. NOW!!!!!” (Mort)

I grinned at the guy again. Till and her forces should be here any second, this little game of cat and mouse was over, and like old cartoons always taught me, the mouse had won.

“Geez Mort, you’ve descended to monosyllabic speech. You really have hit a new low, maybe you’d like to take a few deep breaths? Talk about your currant feelings a bit? I know this wonderful method for coping with rampant anger, I call it ‘Not being a fucking idiot that lets others control the way you feel’ have you ever tried that? No, I guess not….” (Alt)

“You think you’re so smart don’t you, fucker? Well here’s something I bet you didn’t know. I’m a chosen, and my Goddess gave me MORE than just one fucking power!” (Mort)

All around Mort flames popped into existence, and began to take the shape of his axe. He smiled and grabbed one of them as it turned into an exact copy of the axe he had before.

I felt the grin slip off my face.

“Well…………. Ummm.......... Fuck…………….” (Alt)

HACKS!!!!! I CALL HACKS!!!!!!! That is SOOOOO not fair!!! How am I supposed to realistically deal with someone who is faster than I am, stronger than I am, AND apparently has infinite axe-of-actual-fire powers!?!?!?! This is some bullshit if ever I have seen any!!!!

He rushed me while I was still distracted, and I was barely able to leap away from his swing. He cut off my entire right hand and some of my forearm, but I was still alive.

What I didn’t see coming though, was Mort’s apparent gift at ballet, as he turned on the toes of one foot, grabbed one of the preformed-fire-axe-things hovering around him and threw it into my chest.

The force of the throw carried me through the air and embedded itself into a wall. Which of course also pinned me on said wall, but I was far more concerned with something other than where I was pinned and to what. Those things were namely my missing hand and the axe made of fire that was currently pierced through what felt like my right lung.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Alt)

OH FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!! SHIT!!!!!! FUCKING SON OF A WHORE!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!!!!! SHITFUCK!!!!! HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF SALLY UP IN HEAVEN AND ALL THE OTHER FUCKING GODS!!!!!!!! FUCKING FUCK OF FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

“See, I told you. ‘You will die here’ is what I said and now look at you, you fuck! You know that fire is going to eat you from the inside out, I bet that’s going to be VERY painful way to die. And thanks for lending me a hand by the way! I’m sure lady Fray will appreciate it too!” (Mort)

I was trying to tune out the pain, to force my mind not to process it, but it wasn’t working very well. I could barely think, but even if it was just barely I still COULD think around the pain. That was all I really needed right now anyway, besides the removal of a fucking FLAME AXE from my chest… Oh and pain meds, lots and LOTS of pain meds. And I wouldn’t turn down some healing magic right now either… so basically I had most of what I needed right now, but I could work with that. There was more than one way to stop feeling pain.

Now,......... FUCKING HELL WHY THE FUCK DOES IT FEEL LIKE THE BURNING IS SPREADING THROUGH MY BLOOD!?!?!?!?!

Now, if I could just somehow knock myself out…. Till should be here soon, and one of her people can get me down so I can, FUCKING SHIT SUCKING ARMADILLOS!!!!!!!!, let my blood heal me from-……

“Any last words before I leave you to die fucker?” (Mort)

Oh…. What did he say before? Something about……. Right, maybe, FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!!!!!!, this could work…..

“W-w-w-……. HHHHUUUUKKKKKK!!!!! HAK-HAK-HAK!!!!!!! What did I tell y-your ugly ass about p-puns?” (Alt)

The look on his face probably would’ve made me break out into a fit of those giggles that seem to be my only natural default laughter in this body… that is, it would if I wasn’t in immense pain.

Is hell always described as a burning pit because of the pain of being burned alive? FUCKING FUCK FUCK!!!!!!! This hurts so damn bad!!!!

“Oh,-…. KAAAAKKKK!!! HAK-KAK!!!!! Oh, and y-your Goddess is going to die for t-this. D-don’t worry to m-much though, s-she probably wants to escape your u-ugly ass a-anyway. I’ll b-be doing her a fav-….” (Alt)

I felt something smash into my head harder than it could take. I felt my jaw break and something make a squish sound inside my head, and then there was just darkness.

Sweet painless darkness……….

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so ever wonder how Alt would do in a fight he didn't plan ahead or have back up for with his currant stats and combat skills?...... it's something like that...... also Props to those who can see whats coming next. it is kinda obvious if you think about it though......

and before you all ask: No Alt didn't die. No that guy's name wasn't actually Mort. Yes Alt did seem to remember more about his old world than he did before. And lastly, no being a chosen of ANY being doesn't make you automatically OP as shit or invincible, Chosen die as easily as any other of their race, they just get special attention, and sometimes powers, from their patron higher being....

now go! do all that stuff i ask you to at the end of every chapter!!!! imma go see Keanu, cuz a movie about gangster pet kittens HAS to be funny as shit.............

Author out!