Seren drifted, their head falling onto their hand and nearly dropping onto the table. Sleep had eluded them all night. Everything about the room was wrong. Too warm, too cold, too soft, too quiet… in all, it was just too different and new.

“Wake up!” The tutor slammed their hand onto the table and Seren sat up straight. “Rough night?”

“Yeah,” Seren nodded with a yawn.

“Sorry to hear that, try to focus.” The tutor said unsympathetically. “Your reading comprehension has improved impressively, as has your writing ability. Let’s practice a bit more on your numbers.” Seren yawned and nodded as they looked again at the sums on their paper. Trying to focus on the numbers but the numbers stared back with no interest. Not like the short stories they’d learned to read. Reading made the words dance and change shapes into wild beasts and heroes. Numbers just stood still on the page with an attitude. Glaring and sighing and asking ‘well? Hurry up and solve me.’

“I don’t think I like math,” Seren said as they counted on their fingers.

“That’s just because you aren’t good at it. Keep practicing.” The tutor said, “Stop trying to do it with your hands. Commit the solutions to memory.” Seren stared harder at the equation, hoping their memory would kick in and bring them the answer.

“It’s very simple,” the tutor said. Seren sighed.

“It’s just not interesting to me.” They said, putting the pencil down. “Numbers don’t do what words do.” The tutor gave an apologetic smile.

“But you need to get good with numbers. Just work a bit more with them, once you get familiar with them you’ll get good with them. Give it another minute.” The tutor looked at the page and then at Seren’s tired face. “Tell you what, you finish this page and we’ll start a book? One chapter for every page of finished equations?” Seren looked back down to their page and considered this.

“That sounds good,” They said and started on the equations with a renewed purpose. The momentum spent after the first solution. Instead they yawned, staring hard at the second equation as their mind went foggy.

“I can’t think.” Seren laid their head on the table. “I’m tired and my brain feels like pudding!”

“Work through it, working through it will teach you a valuable skill.” The tutor encouraged. “Keep at it, I promise you it will help you later.” Seren lifted their head, a pencil smudge from the paper on their forehead. They stared again at the equation.

“Use your fingers, and scrap paper.” The tutor conceded. “Getting through it with the right answers is more important than speed. I guess we can only hope that will come in time.” Seren pulled the scrap paper close and started drawing the diagrams and illustrations to get the right answers. Still slow going, even with the finger counting and tally marks. However, they were progressing. Moving the mental fog aside to complete the task.

“I’m doing it!” Seren said excitedly as they finished the first row.

“Yup,” the tutor said with a forced smile. Seren didn’t notice, moving on to the second row and working slowly. Kicking their legs happily which made their whole body shake.

“Keep still,” the tutor said. Seren stopped kicking their legs, trying to sit still and focus only on the task at hand. Finishing half the second row had them kicking their legs again, happily dancing in their seat and even humming.

“Seren,” the tutor said in that lecturing tone. Seren sat still again trying to keep the happy stims inside.

“Sitting still is hard.” Seren said as they began kicking their legs again. “There’s just so much feeling inside me.”

“The numbers don’t care about your feelings.” The tutor said, “you have to keep still. No one wants to hear you humming or moving about like a crazy person. I know you have unique challenges, but that doesn’t mean others need to suffer because of you.” Seren stared at the tutor, processing the information.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“I didn’t think my moving bothered anyone.” They said slowly.

“I’m sure you didn’t think,” the tutor said. “Now finish up those equations and try to sit still.” Seren went back to their sheet, making a more conscious effort to keep still as they did. Keeping still took up half of their mental ability, leaving the already very slow going of finishing the math page even slower.

Finishing the second row of equations, Seren came to a very interesting epiphany. If they didn’t feel anything, they wouldn’t feel the need to move around. Maybe that was how everyone else managed it…

Seren’s mind ran away on the tangent, leaving them staring blankly at the first of the third and final row.

“Seren, please.” The tutor said exhausted and irritated. “You know the answer to this! It isn’t that hard!” Seren came back to reality and looked at the page, this time actually seeing it.

“Sorry,” they muttered and got back to solving the page. Nearly finishing the whole page when the timer rang.

“And we’re out of time.” The tutor sighed, turning the alarm off.

“What? But you said we’d read if I finished the page!” Seren objected.

“And it took you too long to finish it. Practice your math and maybe next time we’ll get to the reading.” The tutor packed up their things. “Tonight I want you to work on these equations and write me a page about something exciting that happened today.” The tutor said carelessly placing another page of math equations on their desk and heading for the door.

“See you bright and early tomorrow morning, and try to not be late this time?” The tutor said before leaving the library and leaving Seren in the corner where the desk had been moved.

They got up and took the page to their room. Placing it on the desk there and glared at it. Then they grabbed it, crumpled it up and tossed it in the wastebasket.

The walled speaker hissed and Mrs. Houper’s voice came through it; “Breakfast!”

Seren left their room, finding Mrs. Houper in the kitchen with Kalyani.

“I thought today we should have waffles!” Mrs. Houper grinned. Holding up a plate stacked with waffles. “We have syrup, butter, anything you want on them.”

“Just plain is fine.” Seren said, sitting on the barstool at the counter.

“Oh, are you sure?” Mrs. Houper asked. “We have three different kinds of syrup. Plenty of jams?”

“I’m sure, just plain is fine.” Seren said, not really feeling hungry but still willing to try.

“All right then,” Mrs. Houper said and left the plate in front of Seren. Fetching them a little plate for them to hold their breakfast on. “How was class?”

“Not good.” Seren said, putting a few waffles onto their plate. “I’m bad at math. I think it makes the tutor sad.”

“Really?” Mrs. Houper asked. “Does math interest you?”

“No,” Seren said while eating their breakfast.

“There you go then,” Mrs. Houper said. “You just need to make it interesting for yourself and then you’ll be fantastic at it.”

“What if I don’t want to be fantastic at it? What if I just don’t care?” Seren asked. Mrs. Houper smiled sadly.

“It’s an important subject, no way around it I’m afraid. You have to learn it.” She said. Not making Seren feel any better about it. They went back to their breakfast.

“What time do the visiting hours for the hospital start?” Seren asked.

“Soon, I think.” Mrs. Houper said thoughtfully, “planning on visiting your dad?”

“Yeah,” Seren said.

“That will have to wait,” Mr. Asche said entering the kitchen. “You have work to do.”

“I’m sure they can spare a little time to visit a sick relative.” Mrs. Houper chastised, staring tiredly as he grabbed the entire waffle plate.

“The sooner they finish their work, the sooner they’ll have free time.” He said before exiting the kitchen. Seren wanted to feel outrage but they couldn’t help the small smile from how silly the interaction was.

“I’m sorry,” Mrs. Houper said. Seren shrugged and pushed their empty plate away.

“I’ll just have to work hard and finish the tasks quickly.” They said, another fresh waffle was placed on their plate.

“I wish I was half as optimistic as you are.” Kalyani laughed. Pouring the last of the batter into the iron. Seren looked at the waffle but didn’t feel hungry.

“I think I’m all done.” They said, then they hopped off the stool. “I’m going to get started on the work. That way I can finish faster!”

“All right, try not to get discouraged if it doesn’t work out the way you wanted!” Mrs. Houper called as Seren ran out of the room and launched up the stairs. Only barely hearing what she’d called to them.