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Chapter 62: LA PAURA DEL BUIO

Bruno rented out a fucking moving truck. I don’t know how he managed to shell out that much and certainly hadn’t expected the gesture, but nonetheless, I woke up at the ass crack of dawn to see the big guy outside in a rental. It was a little overboard to show up to Ma’s and say ‘I’m a goner,’ like this, but, well, if I were having second thoughts, Bruno gave me no choice to back out now.

The drive there was dead silent. I think the big guy picked up on my nerves running haywire. Between that and the Soul-Sickness, it was clear I’d been through hell.

But regardless of my physical state, the flashes of my Ma bawling her eyes out kept playing through my mind. It was a poison that’d set in deep and reached my heart. No matter what, there wasn’t a chance she’d forgive me for how bad I’d screwed up. How I continuously fucked up. She might lie and pretend she did, to try to pull me back and prevent me from leaving—she’d always been like that, always the one to sacrifice her life for the sake of her family. But I knew the state accepting that lie would leave her in. That was a heavy weight to bear. Even if I had a century, I could never prepare for this day, but time has a way of making us do what we must, even if we don’t want to.

The truck pulled up in front of the same broken-down property I’d called home. I sighed as I looked at the door still hanging on its hinges. She’d at least covered the windows with cardboard.

“Hey, gimme a few minutes before ya come in and start hauling my shit, alright?” I looked at Bruno. Even though he was my best friend, I wanted to keep him out of this drama. He deserved that much. He nodded, unrolling the truck window, and swiftly abused his Soul Ability to light a cigarette.

Soul Ability jealousy was a real pain. Every time he did his little party trick, I felt keen envy. The heavens truly blessed some. I slammed the door and dragged my heels all the way to the house.

There wasn’t a door, so I didn’t need to dig for keys. Inside was still an absolute mess, though Ma’d cleaned the broken glass and piled in corners—a table missing a leg, only two of the four dining room chairs were left intact. When I swung through, I didn’t take the time to appreciate how fucked things were, how badly I’d hurt them.

I heard Alex and Ma chattering in the living room. Unable to bring myself to say anything, I lingered near the entry. It took a bit to work up my courage, but eventually, I walked forward. Strange how placing five thousand chips down for a bet felt so easy, but this was torture.

Alex was on the ground with his legs crossed in the living room, arm in a sling. He must have gotten hit by Tristan’s Soul during the fight, and I never noticed. This was all because of me. I’d brought them into my mistakes, and even worse, the moment he saw me, a light came to his eyes. “Luca!” He said, tone filled with joy. Me, the bastard who dragged him into getting busted up since I refused to live a peaceful life like the rest of the people in this fucking city.

Ma was on the half-busted couch, tears already coming to her eyes. “Oh, my son! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

I threw a hand out to stop her and choked down my sadness. “No, don’t, I don’t deserve it. Ya were right to say what ya said—Alex, I’m sorry. Neither of ya deserves to have someone shitty like me in your lives. I did the bare minimum to make some things right—and I’m not done. Me taking that bastard down is the start; once I get more chips, I’ll throw it down on furniture for you to replace what ya lost. As long as it takes, I’ll pay ya back.”

“Stop it now! I was hurting; I didn’t mean to say what I said. I don’t blame you.” Ma drew back, she’d started to rise to no doubt embrace me, but my tone warned her.

Alex looked confused.

“I hurt y’all. It’s been my choice not to go to school and stir up all this trouble; I lied and threw myself into risk after risk without thinking about what might come your way. I could sit here, let ya forgive me, and blame Tristan all day long. But he aint the real reason ya got hurt, I am.” I lowered my head. “Ya were right Ma. I don’t belong here because I aint the man I need to be to make sure shit like this won’t happen again.”

“We forgive you. We're family, aren't we?" she asked with hurt in her voice.

"We'll always be family, but that aint a good enough reason to let me hurt ya again. I'm moving out. I'll be fine, and I got friends to take care of me now. There aint no reason to worry."

Ma gave Alex a worried look, and he sprang up and ran to me. The kid threw his arms around my waist and started crying. I fought hard not to give in and join him—for something like this; I had to be strong for them. Ma's eye met mine, and she saw the resolve buried deep. I think part of her understood. She was, after all, the woman that married my father. This life led in an inevitable direction.

I ran my hand through Alex's hair before pushing him back to crouch. "Listen, ya can do much better than me. Keep up your studies, find a nice job, and do good for yourself. I aint disappearing into the night like pops. I aint dying. But this is for the best; they grabbed ya because of me. If I'm alone, there aint a risk of that happening. I know ya don't get it—but we're from two different worlds." There was a flash of anger in him.

"You're being dumb. You're no different than me!" He cried out, desperate to wipe away the tears.

"I'm getting the rest of my shit that aint broken, then going. Me and Bruno will clean up the mess, too, so that ya can start out with a better foot. I aint got any chips right now to throw into replacing things, but if ya find an envelope tucked in your mailbox, it's me. So use it. Because I aint like Romeo trying to gift ya cash, I owe ya it, alright?"

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I didn't wait for Ma to try to argue or for Alex to try to sway me. With nothing else to say, I got Bruno to help me start the easy part of this trip. Alex hid in his room as we piled what was left into the back of the orange moving truck. Bruno did most of the work as I struggled and took plenty of breaks. That injury ran deep.

It was no surprise that Tristan had told his goons to pay special attention to anything mine. They'd busted my bed, pissed on my clothes, and even spray painted a fuck you on the wall. He'd been a petty man, but the sobriety of someone's death has a unique way of calming your anger. Tristan would no longer gloat about what he'd done to me since he now rested in a grave.

I'd already spent far too long in my life angry at the dead. Compared to my father, Tristan didn't matter a single bit.

Once we salvaged what we could from my room, Ma gave some simple directions on what she wanted to be tossed or cleaned. Though she acted numb, she'd accepted my decision. I wasn't a ten-year-old tied to her hip anymore. Neither of us would be happy living under the same roof as I continued living my life as a cultivator.

After we'd stuffed the small rental truck with my crap, we swept the floors and left the place as well as we could. It felt terrible to leave things still broken, but I consoled myself with the fact that soon enough, I'd figure out a way to get chips and pay for the damages.

I gave Ma a last hug before we left, and she pulled back with cold eyes. "One last thing."

"Yeah?"

"Your uncle wants to speak to you. Told me to tell you to stop by the night after you finally turned up. Since you've lost your phone, he hasn't been able to contact you.." She crossed her arms. "The moment you get another, I expect you to share your number with both of us."

Was Romeo going to yell at me for being dumb and causing all of this? Probably? But hey, I needed to face up to the results of my actions. No more would I be the dumb little kid throwing a rock at a window and running off after.

I'd be a man.

I nodded to her. "Tell him I'll be by a little after sunset." I turned to go.

"Luca. You… Remind me so much of him. Of your father. His damn arrogance, that pride is a curse that runs in this family. I swear to the Immortals. But if you're going to be stubborn and walk that same path, then I have no choice but to pray for you. Stay safe, and don't forget that no matter what, you still have your family." She cracked a bit at the end, sniffling.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I accepted it and said a last goodbye. I hopped in the truck with complicated emotions and drove off to my new home.

— ♤ - ♥ - ♧ - ♦ —

I expected Bruno to live in some place in Southside or Uptown since he said he’d been living on his own for about a couple of years. Like me, the man had never spent a single day working an honest job. Even if he had a side hustle of underground fighting, there was only so much you could make on brawling like that.

But he had an apartment in Seaside. It strangely bothered me to take an elevator and arrive in a goddamn apartment with an ocean view. I stared out the window for a long moment and looked at a view that gave Romeo’s apartment a run for its money. From here, I could see the tourists swarming the beaches. “Why the hell aint we ever been here before. Bruno, what the fuck? This is the sorta place I’d expect some big-business dude to live in or some wealthy banker.” Like Romeo. I gestured to the granite counters and leather sofa overseeing a fireplace and television. “How the fuck can ya afford this?”

Bruno shifted around, giving a short laugh. “No need to question it! Simply accept my offer.” He gestured towards a spare room, door askew and showing a barren interior. “As you can see, plenty of room. To be honest, I don’t spend much time here.”

Too good to be true. I raised an eyebrow. “Bruno, did ya just break into this place to throw some practical prank? I woulda expected Eve to pull this, but you?”

“Luca, this is where I live; now you do too. Now come, let us get your things up here. We’ll sort rent later,”

“Bruno, I aint seeing any sorta life where I can afford this, hell, even if I was slinging alchemy supplements, I doubt it.”

“Don’t worry. Here—pay what you can each month. That’s all I ask. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“This is crazy.” I gazed at the flawless granite counters and shook my head. Did I die? Was this the afterlife?

Bruno helped me haul the rest of my crap up to his apartment. By that, I mean Bruno carried most of my crap to his apartment while I lifted something, then ran out of breath after a minute or two. Luckily it wasn’t much. I’d be sleeping on a mattress for some time, which left a weird feeling in my gut. It was as if this place silently judged me for being too poor to afford a bed frame or box spring.

Then he gave me a tour of his apartment building: a pool, workout facility, and even a lounge for tenants. Surreal to think I’d live here, but despite all of my questions confirming I wasn’t losing my mind, Bruno insisted it was all legit. If he didn’t have the keys, I’d have called bullshit. That and seeing his full name on the mail slot—Bruno Reichart, right there in bold white letters on a metal flap.

A bit fucked that I’d ruined my Ma’s home, then moved into a place fancier than she’d lived her whole life. And that guilt sure did burn in my chest. But, well, I’m not going to lie, I had no choice but to take what I could. Grateful didn’t even begin to explain how I felt.

When I tried to press Bruno about how he even afforded this place or lived here, he evaded the question with some insane mental gymnastics. He decided to turn it around on me and asked why I thought he couldn’t afford it.

When faced with the reply that he was a street rat in a gang, the crazy fuck tapped the side of his head and said ‘Street Rat’ is just a mentality. He shot me a wink like I understood the shit he just spewed.

I let it go. I was far too tired and overwhelmed by the situation to continue complaining or forcing an answer. I didn’t want to portray any rudeness to him, and I’d been lucky he let me stay here. If he wanted to keep his secrets, he could. Not like I didn’t have a few of my own, and I’d respect it for now.

With the tour over, he gave me a set of keys and some sort of a magnetic keycard to get into the apartment building. He bid me goodnight—saying he and Eve were going out to get trashed at some gig she was playing. He even went so far as to invite me to join them after I finished with my uncle; I gave him a tentative acceptance, even though I knew full well I’d slink back here to sleep after I got done talking to Romeo. With that, I was on my own.

All I had to do was face Romeo.