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Chapter 1, The Story of Unimportant Squishy Things

Chapter 1, The Story of Unimportant Squishy Things

This is a story about two idiots. Well, two idiots and a god. I will not bore my audience with trivialities about idiots, but in brief one idiot fell in love with another idiot and caused all our problems.

There was once a kingdom with many humans, too many humans frankly. One that was ruled by a boy prince who had lost his parents at an early age. Of course as a prince he had to marry. So one day among many proposals, he was visited by a noble family. The noble family at the time was very wealthy, yet it lacked the ability to continue its great wealth. It was a family of gamblers. One that would not last long unless they secured one last royal gamble. This family had two daughters.

The oldest daughter of the family, a girl a little older than the prince, was prepared to propose to him, but she spent too many an hour getting ready simply to see him. The youngest daughter, however, just went and played with him. Often times playing simple games such as bandits and kings. Afterwards the noble family visited the prince several times, and each time the prince pretended to listen to the first daughter where in all reality he had become close friends with the second.

Yet that all ended when that noble family failed to pay its debts. As consequence, they lost all their wealth and got shut down into the depths of the noble hierarchy. The Prince, bound by rank, was unable to see them again, lest he be seen with commoners.

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The prince’s name was Prince Menska Golgoth, and while he ruled he was not alone. By his side stood his jester, a young man who had appeared shortly after his parent’s death. Curiously this jester did not age as the years passed. Not a single hair on the jester’s body differed as the prince transformed into a young man and his friendship with the noble girl blossomed into unrequited love. So much so that the prince refused to marry any noble girl or princess he had come to see him after.

Years later the same fate had accompanied the noble girl. She refused to marry anyone, but the prince. Though her father would not have it, lowly nobles such as themselves could not even dare to join house with royalty. It was preposterous! Outrageous! And every time the girl suggested she marry the prince the father only got more adamant about her marrying the suitors he picked. One day he had enough and with much regret he banished the girl from their family.

He gave her two fleeting options, ‘Marry the suitor I pick for you, or find the money to return us to our former glory. Only then will I let you return.’

The girl set off afterwards, intent on fulfilling her goal with the latter option. Henceforth, she would apprentice as an archivist and hunt the treasures of this world.

The prince was waiting, the noble girl working, the jester scheming, and I-- well I was doing much more important things! I was a god after all.

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