“Mr.Mann, good morning. My name is Michael. Thanks for coming in.” The head of HR introduced himself. I had hoped the head of HR would be female, because with males I would know if  got the job or not just by their facial expressions.  They never allowed for any anticipation to build up, plus my strike out rate was higher with males than females.

“Nice to meet you Michael.” I went in for a handshake and he offered a fist pump ,which later changed to mirror mine and I did the same. 

An awkward smile appeared on his face. “Please take a seat. Do you need anything ? lemme get you a cup of water.”

“I’m fine” is what I wanted to say.  However; before I had the chance to say anything , he had already made his way to the  stuff  kitchen. “Room temp water would fine thanks.”

“Great!” After a couple of minutes he brought back a huge tray with all kind of fruit on it. His hands were full, I guess he forgot to bring the one thing I actually asked for. “Please feel free to indulge yourself”

I nodded. He picked up my resume from the table and studied it carefully. “Ah it says here that you have sales experience . can you tell me a bit about what you did at your last job?”

The sales experience he was talking about, was nonexistent . it only appeared on the resume only because I was applying at a marketing firm. “I mainly acted as a liaison between our firm and international corporations in order to penetrate foreign markets.”

He seemed to drool at the mention of foreign markets. Who could blame him my sharp tongue was  the stuff of legend. Technically speaking I was a master sales man, I was proficient at selling myself.

Everything was going smoothly until he turned to the last page of my resume  and could only see high school as the highest form of education. His faced dropped. “There seems to be some sort of mistake, undergrad is not listed here.”

“No mistake sir. That’s because I dropped out of college.” I replied coldly

He took a deep breath. “Why would a brilliant young man such as yourself take such drastic and ridiculous action?”

I gave him a sharp glance. “I don’t believe in the system sir.” The real reason was much more  dastardly.  It was a part of my life that I locked away and incinerated the key.  I have only one rule. WE DON’T TALK ABOUT COLLEGE. I’m sure he could tell by the piercing  daggers I sent his way with my eyes.

“Moving on..” He begun to explained in detail what the company did, which is HR speak for “We’re not going to hire you.  I’m telling you all this nonsense in order to make the interview last longer, so that it looks like I’m good at my job.” 

I silently nodded  along. Indulged on the fruit that was in front of me, thinking whether or not I should use my photoshop skills to create a fake degree.

“I am neither a patriot nor a nationalist. Neither an egalitarian nor an anti-anthropologist, I just am . So to answer your question Charlie; no I don’t know when the war in Germany will end.”

The audience was struck by an uncomfortable silence. Their opinions were split; there some that thought him a mad revolutionary genius  who will save the world, others thought he was delusional self-obsessing narcissist. He was a polarizing figure, perhaps it was the reason he was invited on the show.

“I  just wrote a crappy book about my unfiltered thoughts.  Surprisingly the masses happen to like it. I became relatively rich and famous, and now people like you ask me stupid questions as if I’m an expert on everything.”

The host was speechless, his eyes stuck in place as if they had lost their will to move. The crowd erupted with a huge thunderous cheer. Many of them were on their feet giving a standing ovation.

He turned his sharp unforgiving gaze on the unsuspecting crowd. The hall went deathly silent. The silence was filled by the loud lecture that emanated from his eyes. “Hypocrites! too infatuated by the man, that you miss the essence of his art.”

“Dick?” Charlie called out, waving his hands in front of Tracy’s  face.

“Sorry what was your question again.” Tracy was dragged down to earth.

“When do you think the war in Germany will end?” Charlie asked, with an expectant smile.

Tracy stroked his thick beard as if  in deep thought. He raised his finger; if  you watched closely, you could see a lightbulb flicker atop his head. “When the good Lord himself descends upon the earth.”      

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The Audience burst into laughter. The host’s laughter was so hysterical and ridiculous that Tracy couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Dick Tracy everyone!” Charlie stood up applauding. “Be sure to check out Tracy’s book Sane Man In An Insane World. Thanks for tuning in, see you next week, as always, It ain’t living if you’re not having fun .“

“We can call it a day and cancel all of today’s appointments, if you’re not feeling up to it.” Mrs Tracy spoke lightly.  She put her arms around her husband’s neck. She kissed him on his left cheek, she  met the gaze of his eyes reflected by the mirror.

Wrinkles appeared around his face indicating a smile. “Don’t worry about me hon , I’m alright.” He kissed her left arm.

“It’s just, we kinda lost you there for a second. They didn’t notice, but I did. I always do.”

“Kim my dear. You make living on this patch of dirt worthwhile, what did I do to deserve you?”  

“Aww golly you, sweat talker you. I was gonna wait until we got home, but I can’t wait anymore.” She turned his chair around and placed his left arm on her belly. “We have a bun in the oven hon.”

“Aww shucks, I’m so happy I could die.”  He exclaimed as he embraced his love.

“Knock on wood.” She chuckled. The room was filled with a slight stench of rosewood.

My tummy made a slight growling sound. I had spent the whole day traversing the city  but only came face to face with male interviewers. It had truly been a grueling day.  I only had 19.6 bucks in my pocket, enough to buy a Shawarma and then some. There was nothing I’d rather spend my last dime on.

“I’ll have the lamb, Be generous with the garlic sauce, and a diet coke. Thank you kindly” I ordered.

“Coming right up.”  The old waiter replied.

“That was sure damn fast.” I was shocked at how fast it took him to come up with something.

“Our specialty,” The waiter placed the plate on my table. I extended my left hand towards the plate. He noticed the bracelet on my wrist. “Clean cut marble ey?”

I looked at his eyes, their stern but solemn glare made my heart skip a beat. “This here, China made.”

“I ain’t  never seen such Sigils before . What are them Sigils?” He drew closer.

“Lord of the flies.” I answered.

“Pardon?” He returned.

“Satan.” I affirmed.

“Oh, you’re one of them devil worshippers , ey?” He looked like he was about to spit in disgust.

“ Far from it friend.” I placed my left hand on my forehead, then on my left shoulder and moved to my right shoulder.  I placed the 19.6  dollars on the table.

“Now listen hear friend , it don’t matter if it’s China made or devil made. If it’s valuable looking, best keep it out of sight you hear?” He grabbed the cash from the table.

“ok then.” I Nodded.

“ok then.” He made his way back to the  counter.       

 I sunk my teeth into the shawarma. The bell rang indicating someone had entered the dinner. It was pretty late, by that time only the old waiter(who was also the cook) and I were the only ones in the dinner.

It was very quiet. very peaceful. “Bang!” The silence was all but gone now. “This here is a stick-up seeeee!” Two masked fellas entered the dinner, one of them was holding a win98. “don’t move less you be pumped with lead seee.”

“Not again.” The old waiter whispered under his breath.

“Shut up! old timer.”  The gun man pointed the gun at him. “Grab that other fella’s valuables”

The other man rushed towards me, searching for any valuables he could find on my person. He opened my wallet however, it could only cough up dust. “you’re running light boy.”

 I raised my arms and smirked. The light bounced of my bracelet and it caught his eye. “What do we have here. Hey wade! Get over here.”

“Don’t use my real name dunderhead!” The gunman made his way towards me.

“Not that, anything but that.” I pleaded with the robbers.

“Give it here boy!” The gunman yanked the bracelet from my hand while the other held me. He managed to remove it from my wrist but I caught on to one end and him the other. We played tag of war for some time until it was brought to an abrupt end by a sudden “Bang!”

The celling was encompassing more and more of my field of vision, until the florescent light bulb was all I could see. “Wade!” I heard one of the robbers cry out. Then I heard the sound of a shotgun reloading. “Bang!” another shot was fired. “Now don’t let the door hit’ya where the good lord split’ya!” . I heard the old waiter shout.

A wrinkly grinning old face appeared looking down on me. “You alright there friend? I didn’t shot you did I ?”

“My bracelet .” Was all I could let out.

“I’m afraid you were right. It sure as shit is China made.” He helped me up and handed me the bracelet. It was in in two pieces. My heart met my stomach.

I took a deep breath. Dusted myself off. Adjusted my tie and tidied up  my hair. “Thanks for the meal..”

“Bill” The old waiter added.

“Thanks for the meal, Bill. Ok then” I nodded.

“Ok then.” He did the same.

I dashed out of the dinner as fast as my feet could carry me. “damn it, damn it” were the only thoughts rushing through my head.

As soon as I exited the dinner, my nose caught a whiff of rosewood. I stopped dead in my tracks. Out of the corner of my right Eye, I saw a dark figure. Wearing a long black trench coat and brown stylish top hat.  One of his hands was holding a cigarette. The other was supporting the weight of his body using a black wooden cane, with a  fake diamond on it.    

He puffed a huge cloud of smoke and walked through it dramatically. “We missed ya kiddo! See you at witching hour.”  He walked passed me, waving his walking stick around like an old cartoon villain.

“Fuck!” I screamed. Tears running down my face. I punched the window of my car repeatedly, wishing this was some sort of dream. I realized it wasn’t a dream when my  window broke and my left wrist was cover by a thick cold liquid.

“Bzzz, Bzzz” My phone rang. It was Lin. “Hey hon!” I put on the biggest smile I could.

“How’d it go?” She asked.

“Great! Awesome , great. Just great.” I returned.

“That’s good to hear. You won’t believe the day I just had. Remember my friend Janet’s cousin’s neighbor’s girlfriend’s sister? “

“Yeah?” I didn’t.

“She’s also a writer! She said she’d introduce me to some people!”

“You don’t say.”

 Lin’s joy was an infectious disease but today of all days I was immune. All I could think about as she was talking was how much I wanted to smoke a cigarette.