Are you sure you're human? I grumble indignantly, swallowing some jerky the trio of terrors offered me. The bread didn't go so well. I'm apparently carnivorous.

I certainly was the last time I checked, the creepy psychic guy answers me, which I suppose is an answer I can vibe with. Me too, buddy. Me too.

I don't think he means it that way, though. Despite looking like a funhouse horror show, Mr. Mindfuck insists that he currently is and has always been a perfectly normal human being. He and his monster pals have set up a small impromptu camp next to me, mostly because I refused to be moved. I still don't quite trust them, because while they seem nice they also have creepy mind magic and that makes it rather difficult to trust anyone or anything.

The two monsters that aren't trying to claim to be human don't seem to be thralls, at least. The three of them work together to set up camp, acting as equals to gather materials, set up tents, start a fire, and so on. Or at least I assume they start a fire. My 'sight' still doesn't detect light at all, so while I can feel the heat, the fire looks nothing like fire to me. It looks more like… steam, kind of?

You look… off. I tell the 'human.' Like you're human from some angles but not others. But most things look strange to me. I think I might not be seeing things as they actually are.

I'm not really sure how to interpret that, the psychic admits.

Yeah, I'm not sure how to interpret it either. I spit out the jerky as well. It tastes delicious but I feel sick from my recent flight for my life. I have heat exhaustion, or possibly heat stroke since I literally passed out from overexertion, and I don't want to end up vomiting it back up.

I'm overheating, I say. Can you take me to one of the barren zones to cool off?

What is that? I don't understand the concept you're sending.

I would scowl if I was capable of it. The telepathy ability the 'human' is using to speak with me is interesting. Neither of us speak the same language, but the spell doesn't care; it interprets thoughts as raw concepts and associations, so that the intention of our words is conveyed rather than the words themselves. This is, apparently, why he can use the ability to control animals.

…And me. But I'm doing my best to ignore that, because these people seem inclined to feed me and nurse me back to health as an apology for nearly killing me, and no matter how much I don't trust them I still need them to do that. I can't even walk on my own, which is why I need help to get somewhere cool.

Barren zones, I repeat. The places without plants that you couldn't follow me into.

Oh, is that how you see them? The telepath asks me. That must be your Space magic at work.

…My what? I ask, startled.

Space magic, he repeats. Is the concept sending correctly? For such a small creature, you have quite the powerful aura. That's, um… why we were after you, actually. Before we knew you were a person, of course! Again, I'm terribly sorry, we've never met an intelligent species that looks anything like you. Would it be alright if I ask what you are?

H-hold on, I send back. I need a moment to process all that.

Space magic. He said Space magic, didn't he? I, Hannah the horrifying radial spider monster, have magic? Like obviously something that's basically magic is involved with whatever the heck is going on, but if I also have magic that I get to use on purpose? That's different. It's a siren call to my inner nerd, and I can't help but get a little bit excited.

All of a sudden, everything finally starts to sink in at that. I am a fantasy creature in a fantasy world. I'm basically a character in one of Brendan's favorite manga. Mangas? Whatever. The point is… okay, I don't actually know what the point is. 'What the friggin' heck,' I guess? This is insane!

But it doesn't have to be the bad kind of insane.

As much as I hate these three for the horrifying torture they put me through, as much as I don't trust their apparent generosity, as much as they are terrifying, horrible giants representative of how utterly insane my life has become… my nightmares finally caught me, and I'm okay. I might be in danger, sure, but it's not immediate. Instead I'm having a conversation about magic with a weird telepathic man who seems willing and eager to help me. The fact that I'm small, inhuman, and freaky looking doesn't matter to him, or to his companions for that matter. They seem to be really used to the idea of nonhuman sapients, and they seem to have like… a basic respect for that? Which already puts this place ahead of a lot of fantasy worlds I've read about.

Two of them clearly aren't human, after all. They have four long arms, thick fur, pointed ears, a prehensile-looking tail with what I think might be three fingers at the end of it, and a language that seems to involve a lot of growling. One of them is male and the other is female, which is obvious since their anatomy in that regard is quite similar to humans and my method of 'sight' doesn't care that they're wearing undergarments in the slightest. Not that they're really wearing a lot, which is almost as distracting as the fact that the woman has four breasts to go with her four arms. She has such thick fur on her torso that they aren't particularly noticeable even though she's not wearing a shirt… unless you have a weird, possibly magical spatial sense like a certain recently-arthropodic girl I know. I can see everything, but that comes at the cost of seeing inside her body as well, making the overall experience… less than enticing. I'm not sure if I'm thankful for that or annoyed by it.

…I really don't have time to think about this right now anyway. I'm a magical spider monster the size of a cat, this is no time to be ogling tits. Focus, Hannah! It's time to figure out your apparent magical powers!

What does it look like to you when I step into one of the places you can't go? I ask the human telepath.

You disappear from… everything, really, he answers simply. You cease to be physically present at all. Then you reappear in a different location later. It seemed more like invisibility than teleportation, which is odd because most invisibility spells should be impossible for a Space mage. It's almost as strange as your legs.

My legs? I prompt.

Your magic is obvious in your aura, but it's even more obvious in your body, he tells me. We can't count how many legs you have. They seem to appear and disappear in impossible ways as you walk. It's like an illusion, though again you shouldn't be capable of that. It's more likely that you're not entirely in this realm.

Well that's… concerning and strange, but also very appropriate. 'Not entirely in this realm' does seem to fit my situation to a tee, but I didn't expect it to manifest quite so physically.

I have ten legs, I tell him simply. And they move normally from my perspective. You all, meanwhile, look like you stretch and shift around the barren zones, or have to take strange turns to avoid more straightforward paths. You zig-zag around a lot.

How interesting, the telepath muses. Well, I only know the basics of Space magic, but it sounds like you can go into places that don't exist for anyone else, hide in them, and use them as shortcuts. The ability to perceive these extradimensional locations must be warping your senses; we didn't zig-zag towards you like you describe.

Oh good, I'm eldritch, I mentally mutter. Wonderful.

I'm afraid I didn't understand that word, the telepath answers.

Hmm! So the concept of 'relating to incomprehensible outer gods' doesn't translate? Is that concerning? I mean that's not the dictionary definition, but that's certainly how I use the word, so that's probably what the telepath is picking up. Agh, I have no idea. Let's just be safe here.

If you don't know it I'm not explaining it, I state firmly. Just get me somewhere cool.

He nods at me.

Is it okay if I pick you up?

I hesitate. He's been prodding me with a finger this whole time, since apparently it helps him with his magic. I don't like it, but it's better than not being able to communicate. Being picked up is a whole different thing, though. He's… huge. Huge and terrifying.

Okay, I allow anyway. It's not like I'll be walking anywhere on my own.

He delicately wraps his fingers around the core of my body, threading them between my legs. I squirm a little; I can't help it, getting touched freaks me out. In doing so, one of my legs actually passes into one of his fingers, causing it to twist and warp around the leg in the same way their bodies would warp around barren zones.

…Did you feel that? I ask, going still.

Feel what?

I guess he doesn't!? Gosh this is so weird. Some of my legs touch the human's hands normally, while others pass strangely through his fingers… and the strangest bit is that it doesn't stay consistent. A leg that used to pass through him will suddenly find itself perfectly solid while the leg next to it starts interacting strangely. What the heck is going on? I guess I really am some kind of extra-dimensional creature. In more ways than one, I mean.

Then he actually lifts me into the air and I can no longer focus on anything else. Once again, I feel an urge to scream that I'm unable to fulfill. Holy crap holy crap holy crap! I squeeze his hands as tightly as I can with my legs as I'm rocketed into the sky like one of those amusement park drop towers in reverse. The human's motion is effortless, completely and utterly effortless. I probably weigh less than a gallon of milk, I definitely weigh less than the backpack I carry to school every day, and it's doubtlessly well within this human's power to crush my carapace with his bare hands.

Not to mention if I fall, I could very well die. A tiny, itty-bitty spider the size of your fingertip has a terminal velocity so low that it could jump off a skyscraper and be fine when it hits the ground, but I'm a lot bigger than that. Despite being so light, I might still be heavy enough to crack my body open if I'm dropped from high up. I'm currently closer to the ground than my own head normally is when I'm standing up as a human, but looking down still feels like I'm staring down a vast, impossibly high cliff with certain death sneering up at me from the bottom.

It's terrifying, but also weirdly exhilarating.

Though my screaming muscles still clench with terror and the warmth of the human's hands is highly unpleasant to my overheating body, as the giant carries me carefully to our destination I can't help but find comfort in the firmness of his grip. And as I let myself acknowledge that profoundly alien feeling of safety, more and more of the terror bleeds away into joy. It's… fun!

And then the terror hits again. I should not be this relaxed. That's wrong. And he's touching me, which means he could be doing anything!

Get out of my head! I think as loudly and angrily as I can.

What? the 'human' blinks with surprise. I'm not doing anything.

Liar!

I swear on my honor I am not influencing you, he insists, and I have no way to know if I believe him. Suppressing a shudder, I just focus on not falling and try to ignore the bubbling exhilaration in my gut. It's probably just more vomit.

Carefully cradling me in one arm, the human gets out a moderately-sized bowl and fills it with water before setting me down into it. It's cool, and a shudder through my body indicates it's exactly what I need. I don't care that I'm lounging in the pool, I still drink a bit, the glorious liquid soothing me on the inside and out. The others let me, busying themselves with duties around their camp as I rest there for what must be around half an hour, just sitting silently and feeling like garbage. I am exhausted, but still far too wired to be anything close to sleepy. Not to mention far too surrounded by people I don't trust. Though now that my body is no longer boiling itself to death, I'm starting to get very, very hungry.

I tap the edge of my bowl loudly to get attention. The human isn't casting on me, so I can't communicate with anyone. All three of them ignore me, though, so I rub two legs together to make another horrible eldritch hiss, which gets their attention much more promptly. They rush over to see what the matter is and I hold out one leg. The human touches it, and we speak again.

Is something the matter? he asks.

No, I'm feeling better overall, I tell him. I just… can't talk? I didn't have another way to get your attention.

Oh, he answers. My apologies. We really do feel terrible about all this.

Well, how about you give me some more of that jerky and tell me what 'all this' even is, I suggest. Who are you people?

Ah, allow me to introduce everyone. I'll have to do this verbally, since the sounds don't transfer over the link. My name is—

"Sindri," he says out loud.

The [four-arm tree fur person war hunter agile tail] gentleman you see behind me is named "Teboho."

Hold up, I didn't quite catch one of those words, I think at him. The what gentleman?

Ah, sorry, the word is "dentron," he clarifies, saying it verbally. It is the name of the species my two companions are part of. The last of whom is the lovely lady "Kagiso."

The dentron man named 'Teboho' is stoutly ignoring me, as he's busy pitching a tent. I watch with surprise as, after placing a tent stake, a hammer simply appears out of nowhere in his hand, which he then uses to pound the stake into the ground. The hammer then disappears, at least until he prepares the next stake, at which point it's back in his hand. Crazy! Maybe he's another Space mage? A hammerspace mage, to be precise! Hee hee, I'm hilarious.

Meanwhile, Kagiso (aka the woman whose chest I'm firmly refusing to think about) seems to be… whittling, I think? Oh, she has a bow. She's probably making arrows. Every so often she glances in my direction with a dour facial expression, assuming I'm interpreting her facial expressions correctly given the weird, twisty way I see everyone's faces. It helps to alter the angle I'm choosing to perceive her from, since some of them make people look more normal than others.

…Also, huh, I can choose to perceive things in my range at different angles? But only kind of, since I'm seeing all of it at once? Gah, thinking too much about how I work gives me a headache.

Sindri, Teboho, and Kagiso, I repeat instead. The latter two of whom are 'dentron.' I see. My name is Hannah, but I guess you won't be able to interpret that.

Apologies, you are correct, he says. Sounds don't carry over the link, only meaning, which makes onomatopoeias and names particularly difficult to convey. When you think of your own name, I merely get an impression of a term you use to refer to yourself, not what the term is. Although now I find myself curious: why does your species have a phonetic language if you can't speak?

Hmm. What's a true enough answer to not invite further questioning? I'm definitely not opening up about the whole 'from another world that I go back to when I sleep' thing until I have a better idea of what reaction that would cause.

I've never actually met another member of my species, I admit. The language I know was invented by humans. I can't speak it, but I can understand and write it. I doubt you've seen it before, though.

Can't hurt to try! he says.

Well, it totally could hurt to try, but… hmm. Let me think. I guess if they do recognize English that means I'm not the only isekai victim, and that would give away my situation immediately. Which could be totally fine or it could be really bad, but even if it's bad it means being able to communicate without someone touching me and worming their way into my head. That's a net win. I crawl out of my water bowl with no small amount of regret, staggering as I get back to my feet. With a claw I write out my name in the dirt, hoping that no weird dimensional shenanigans prevent me from being legible. Best I can tell, though, everything is stable.

Hmm, you're right, the human muses. I mean, Sindri muses. His name is Sindri. I've never seen these runes before. Though if there was any doubt to your intelligence it's certainly been dispelled now.

Um, should I be offended? I ask.

Oh! Um, no, it's just that the other two can't hear you yet. They've had to take my word for everything so far, and they've been a bit frustrated about this entire hunt.

I tamp the ground with my claws in irritation. Something about him saying that so casually pisses me off.

You mean your hunt for me? I grumble.

Er. Well, yes, I suppose I do.

Yeah, thanks again for giving me the single most horrifying experience of my entire life, I snap at him. Can I send emotions through this link?

Um. Technically yes, if you… well, I mean, I generally pick up on that sort of thing.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Ah, good. I do everything I can to focus on the absolute maddening horror my life has unexpectedly become, and especially this jerk's part in it. It hurts. I recall the pain of my body, the dangerously hot beating of my heart, the way every bit of me protested for mercy but I just had to keep going or face what I thought would be certain death. I shudder physically at the recollection, and do everything in my power to send it all over the link. It's a horrid self-torture to relive my recent memories like this. But for the sake of spite, I can do many, many things.

I… you have made your point, Sindri insists. Please stop hurting yourself just to hurt me.

No.

What?

I said no! I snap at him. I'm mad, so that means I get to make stupid decisions!

There's a pause as Sindri tries to figure out how to respond to that.

Would you perhaps stop torturing yourself if I offered you more meat rations? he asks helplessly. My stomach growls in response.

Dang it. Not again.

…Okay, I regretfully allow.

I am given my promised jerky by the jerk, which I nibble indignantly as Sindri starts to explain why my life was recently turned into a living hell.

So… ah, where shall we begin? I suppose I'll start by saying my naturalborn element is Pneuma, and my innate magic focuses on coordination and cooperation. On a personal level, I am… less suited for combat than my two teammates. So I supplement this by convincing beasts of the wild to fight alongside me.

My first thought here is, of course, 'what's with all these buzzwords?' I guess it's time to suss out the type of fantasy world I'm stuck in. 'Naturalborn' and 'innate magic' obviously implies that some people get born with the ability to cast spells. Talking about elements means that we probably have an elemental-based magic system, or at least one where categories like that are relevant. Sindri has already mentioned that I use Space magic, and so my 'naturalborn element' is probably Space. That is very neat.

My second thought here is 'dang it, he's a friggin-fraggin Pokémon trainer, isn't he?' The fact that there are elements makes the comparison even more obvious. So that means there's only one reason he would try to chase me all over the damn place.

I'm a Legendary.

You wanted to add me to your team, I conclude. Why?

We are on a hunt for a Chaos mage, he explains, and there could be nothing more useful than a creature with as powerful an Order aura as you.

Gah! Order? What's this Order stuff? Is that in addition to Space being my magic, or does it mean something else?

Back up for a second, I say. Do I have a Space aura, or an Order aura? And what does that mean?

Er… both? Sindri explains. Your aura reflects your naturalborn magic, and yours features a near-even mix of Order and Space. Which isn't terribly uncommon; I only have Pneuma, but a lot of people have more than one naturalborn element.

I assume 'naturalborn' is the name for people who are born with certain elemental spells just built in? I ask. I'm not sure I'm picking up on the meaning perfectly, whatever word you're using doesn't have a good equivalent in my language.

It doesn't? he asks, seeming dumbfounded. Well, ah, no, 'naturalborn' doesn't mean you're born with elemental alignments and spells, it's merely the term used to describe which elements you're aligned to. There's no need for a word denoting individuals that are born with magic, because all living things are naturalborn to at least one element, without exception. Even mindless creatures like plants, though their auras are generally so weak as to be unnoticable.

Huh! So in Dungeons and Dragons terms, everyone in this world is a sorcerer. That's… wild. And extremely concerning!

So like, does that mean any of the cute little chipmunk things around here might randomly be able to shoot fireballs?

Do you mean the small animals of the plateau? Sindri asks, since 'chipmunk' naturally didn't translate. Any of them could be Heat-aligned, yes, though they are weak creatures and it would be very rare for any of them to have an aura that could pose a threat to a person.

Well hopefully we don't have bacteria with dangerous magic, in that case. That feels like it'd maybe be apocalyptic.

Okay so circling back, then, you said you wanted me because I had Order in my aura, I muse. And that's useful because you intend to fight a Chaos mage. I take it that some elements naturally oppose each other, then?

He nods slowly, and I get the impression that he's a bit weirded out by the fact that I don't know this stuff. Hey my guy, what do you want from me? You literally found me living under a rock. Cut me some slack.

That's correct, he says. Order and Chaos are diametrically opposed, both magically speaking and in base concept. Chaos magic will be drastically less effective against you, which is important because Chaos is the most destructive and deadly form of magic there is. Where the rest of us might be obliterated into nothing, your powerful aura will protect you from the worst of it. Of course, this goes the other way as well; Order magic you cast on powerful Chaos-aligned targets will be relatively ineffective. Your aura will also protect you slightly from Chaos' complementary elements, but it won't help at all against most things.

Gah! I'm filling up on new concepts faster than I can get him to explain them. So elements can oppose each other or compliment each other, and that alters their effectiveness. I know I'm at least a little bit obsessed with Pokémon but dang it I'm gonna keep comparing it to Pokémon until I have a reason not to.

Are there any elements that are particularly effective against other elements? I ask. Super-effective, you might say?

No, Sindri answers. Not really.

I drum my legs against the ground in a manner that definitely isn't a form of sulking.

Your magic is at its most effective against auras that don't really interact with it at all, Sindri explains. Using an Order spell against, say, a Motion mage will be about as effective as using it on something without an aura at all. Or, for that matter, about as effective as using it on another Order mage. You don't resist your own elements.

What element does Space oppose? I ask.

Light, Sindri answers.

Ah. That explains why he didn't think I could use invisibility or illusion magic. But also: what? Why light? Because Space is so big that not even the fastest possible thing can traverse it? Because black holes can eat light (along with everything else) and gravity is generally associated with space? Eh, I suppose I've internalized worse analogies for the sake of remembering type advantages. Like ground being weak to ice because of 'that thing where water gets into cracks in the ground and freezes which makes the ground crack, which is really actually more of a reason rock should be weak to ice, but rock isn't weak to ice so don't worry about it.' And bug resists fighting because it's really hard to punch a bee.

Dang it, now I just wanna go back to playing Pokémon. …Although if the pattern continues, when I take a nap I'll likely wake up on Saturday morning and be able to do just that! Wild. On the other spider leg, I'm learning about real-ass actual magic right now. Why the heck do I want to go home and play video games instead? Maybe my mind is just starting to wander from exhaustion-induced delirium.

Besides, I won't get to play Pokémon when I wake up at home anyway. I'll probably end up spending an hour in the shower freaking out about my inhuman toes and then I'll have to go to Brendan's place and show him said inhuman toes, and I have no idea how that'll go.

Staying awake it is, then.

Considering how your physiology seems to be related to your Space magic, I suspect it's an inherent part of your species, Sindri continues. Your 'sight' seems to use Space magic to function, since you don't have any obvious organs for such a purpose. I've never heard of an intelligent race reliant on an innate magic like that, but it's hardly outside the realm of possibility. I'd guess your entire species is Space-aligned for this reason, but many of you likely have a secondary element. Yours is Order.

Which is why you want me to fight a Chaos mage with you, I reiterate. Why are you after this Chaos mage, anyway?

Because those innately born to Chaos are destructive and dangerous by their very nature, Sindri says firmly.

Ah! Now there's the fantasy racism I was expecting! Whew! I was worried for a moment, but now that I know he believes an entire category of person is 'destructive and dangerous by their very nature,' I can now confidently say that Sindri is, in fact, human.

Of course, this is a fantasy world, so it's not impossible that being born with Chaos magic actually makes you inherently destructive or dangerous in some way, but you're always going to see counterexamples. Part of what makes a person a person is the fact that they can make meaningfully informed decisions. They can comprehend right, wrong, happiness, and suffering, at least intellectually if not emotionally. It's certainly possible that being a Chaos mage strips you of that capacity and removes your ability to choose good entirely, but… well, color me skeptical.

People are just born with random elemental affinities, right? I ask. Is that detectable as a baby?

It is, Sindri confirms. But the mother of this particular mage failed to slay her child as she was supposed to, so now we have to hunt them down.

Ah, they practice baby-killing here. Skepticism rising.

How did you find out about all this? I ask.

The mage turned Teboho and Kagiso's village into dust, he hisses. Dozens of innocent people died.

Okay, skepticism… somewhat falling. I don't know if I'm on board with the 'all Chaos mages are evil' thing, but chasing down this particular mage for war crimes against innocents sounds reasonable, I suppose. I don't really know enough about the overall situation, or for that matter what Chaos magic even is. Chaos and Order are terms that get thrown all over the place in fantasy games and it seems like every universe has its own interpretation of what that actually means. Sometimes the forces of Order are the good guys and Chaos are the evil demons trying to destroy everything. Sometimes that's subverted and Order acts like the good guys but Chaos are actually the plucky rebels preventing the world from descending into a totalitarian dystopia. Though I use the word 'subverted' here pretty liberally because both tropes are so common it's really more of a tossup.

So, Order is good and Chaos is bad, I prompt.

Pretty much, yes, Sindri confirms. Both are fairly rare elements, but it's always nice to see a strong Order mage, whereas most people ought to run the moment they see anyone naturalborn with Chaos.

Why's that? I ask. What do they do?

They do what they sound like they do, Sindri answers, leaning down to sketch out a human shape in the dirt. Order is… order. Structure. Codification. Complexity. All living things are naturally creatures of Order, because we are unimaginably intricate combinations of systems. As such, Order magic is most commonly associated with healing, as healing is fundamentally the art of taking something that is destroyed and making it orderly again. Order is the idea that there is a way things are 'supposed' to be in this vast and frightening world, and by imposing our will upon it we can control our fate. Chaos, meanwhile, is the opposite.

He sketches out a little spider next to the human, then sweeps his hand across both, scattering the pictures into nothing.

Chaos is randomness. Meaninglessness. The aggressive annihilation of simple probability. Where Order maintains a form, Chaos destroys it, reducing it to constitute parts… or perhaps turning it into something else altogether. But not in the way a Transmutation spell might change something; Chaos does not turn a man into a beast, or a monster into a… a swarm of insects or something. It's the kind of randomness that doesn't change meaning but destroys meaning completely. Most people, when targeted by the most basic of pure chaos spells, simply… disintegrate. Their bodies become something else, particle by particle, substance by substance, until no element of their physical form properly matches with any other. They simply become dust, or gas, or some terrible combination thereof, and they die.

I pause for a while, chewing on more offered jerky as I soak that in. I'll admit, the way it's described is absolutely terrifying.

I see, I eventually say, not sure how else to continue the conversation. Thankfully, Sindri just barrels on without needing actual feedback.

This is why we went to such lengths to capture you, he explains. I am a Chaos hunter. It is my job to deal with Chaos mages, and this one is a particularly major problem because they're human and killing people in dentron territory. The murders are bad enough in their own right, but this could also cause a diplomatic incident. Dentron-human relations are already… rather strained.

And you fight by sending mind-controlled beasts after your target rather than fighting them yourself, I continue for him. So when you saw a strong counter to your target you couldn't wait to get her to fight for you.

I… again, I apologize. I realize my strategy sounds cowardly, but—

It's fine, I grunt. I understand. From the way you describe Chaos mages, they seem prone to one-shot pretty much anything they can cast a spell at. Relying on meatshields is just good strategy, and if your meatshields are animals that's the best way to ensure no actual people get hurt. If your meatshields are Order-aligned animals, then hopefully not even the animals get hurt. It's a win-win.

Exactly! Sindri agrees with relief. You understand. Teboho and Kagiso are motivated by vengeance, but each of them also has innate spells that are well-suited to dealing with Chaos mages. If there is one weakness to the element of Chaos, it is that it tends to be fairly straightforward. There are only so many ways one can unconditionally destroy.

That sounds like the kind of assumption of weakness that will get you killed, I idly note.

He laughs at that.

I have been fighting for years against monsters and people with the ability to instantly disintegrate matter with but a thought, he reminds me. I assure you, I am only alive because my hubris has long since died.

Heh, okay, I grant him. Fair enough.

And after hubris, pride tends to be next to go, Sindri continues. So I am compelled to ask: will you consider putting aside your well-earned grudge against me and assist us in our task?

I stiffen with surprise.

What? I ask. Are you serious?

Of course I'm serious, he confirms. You are not a beast, so it would be monstrous of me to force you to come. But all the reasons I want you to come have not changed just because I mistakenly attempted something monstrous. You owe me nothing. Quite the opposite, in fact; I'm still clearly in your debt. But as shameful as it is, I must nonetheless ask for your help because I know it could save lives.

I hesitate. The Call to Adventure, is it? Well sorry, fantasy world, I'm in no hurry to galavant off on a headhunting mission to murder a disintegration mage, of all friggin' things. My initial response is a firm 'no.' Why wouldn't it be? Even if I accept the idea of fantasy headhunters maybe not being bad guys if they headhunt mass murderers (which is very much not something I can just take at face value) I still don't want to become one! I don't wanna fight and kill things! Why would any sane person willingly choose to do that outside of extreme duress?

I quickly realize, however, that this train of thought might not apply perfectly to me, because I am under extreme duress. Not in the sense that I'm being forced to accept this decision, but in the sense that my current position is completely untenable. I know nothing about the world I'm in. I'm tiny and physically incapable of seeing more than a small distance around me. If I tell these people to screw off and they leave me here, I'm the one that gets screwed. I can't really search for civilization with how limited my senses are, and even if I find one I can't communicate with anybody so I might just immediately get mistaken for a dangerous animal and attacked! Again!

As spooky as Mr. Murderous Mind Mage is, he's still being nice and taking care of me when he doesn't have to, and he's my only method of communicating with people. While I hesitate to trust any of my feelings about him (because again, mind mage) he's affable and helpful and going out of his way to answer my questions, and I have so many questions. I need someone like him if I want to figure out anything about this crazy new world, and here he is, dropped into my lap just like that. It's frankly rather suspicious, but can I really afford to turn up my nose at it? Uh, so to speak.

…Can I think about it and get back to you later? I ask.

I suppose so, Sindri allows. We'll be moving on in the morning, though.

Would it be okay… if I came with you? I ask hesitantly. This isn't me saying yes, I'm not sure if I want to join your crusade thingy. But you said you're in my debt, right? Well, I need help. I don't know where I am or where I'm going. I don't know much about magic or… or really much of anything? I'm lost and you're the only person I can even talk to.

He smiles at that.

Travel partners, then? he asks. I think that sounds quite reasonable to me. You won't be much of a burden on our supplies, considering your size. And I wouldn't want to leave you alone in the wilderness regardless.

Okay! Okay, this works! I can travel around with these three weirdos, get my bearings, and learn about the world. And then once I understand what's going on a bit better, I can make an informed decision about the whole helping-Sindri-kill-a-guy thing. Which will probably still be 'no,' because like… murder.

Travel partners sounds great, I tell him.

Well, it's the least I can do for you, Sindri agrees affably. I'll add you to the team's telepathic link tomorrow, and properly introduce you to the others. But for now I think we should both get some sleep, don't you?

I hesitate. I don't really want to sleep, knowing what I'll wake up to. But I can't deny that my body is screaming for rest.

I suppose so, I admit. Thank you, Sindri. For not killing me, and stuff.

Ah, you're welcome? he says. Sorry again for today, little one.

Do NOT call me little one, I grumble. I have a name!

Yes, but unfortunately until we trade languages I'm not sure what it is.

You're a telepath! I grumble. You don't need my name to get my attention.

True enough, he admits, and then finally takes his hand off of me to wander off and return with a small blanket, motioning for me to get on top of it. I do, and once again I am rapidly lifted into the sky in an exhilarating fear-concoction of altitude and powerlessness. Again I wish I had lungs, though this time I'm not sure if it's because I want to scream or because I want to giggle. Gah, why is this so fun?

I'm taken into Sindri's tent, which immediately freaks me out at first because like… being brought into a man's tent!? Except that's a stupid reaction, because I doubt Sindri intends to try and seduce an extradimensional spider monster. I'm not being treated like a woman, I'm being treated like a talking cat. Which… I guess I'm okay with, given the circumstances. The only other woman in the party is someone I don't even know and hasn't done much of anything other than glower at me, which I'm going to assume isn't really a great sign.

Sure enough, my blanket is placed on the ground next to Sindri's bedroll, which he promptly gets inside of and passes out. It looks like Teboho has first watch, leaving Sindri and… god, what's her name again? Kagiso? Leaving Sindri and Kagiso to sleep. I try to get comfortable in my little impromptu pet bed, but it just doesn't feel right. I keep trying to rip into the blanket with my sharp legs, aggressively kneading it in a manner that will definitely tear it if I'm left to my own devices. It's not right. I get up, quickly spin in a circle, and sit back down again. It's not right! On a whim, I step off of the blanket and, following the call of instinct, burrow underneath it instead. I carve a small indent into dry earth, squish my body into it, and wiggle around until the dirt caresses me comfortably. There we go. That's much better. Hooking the blanket with a bladed foot, I drag it overtop my body and quickly pass into slumber.

Then I wake up, and I wish I hadn't. My instinct-driven bliss immediately twists into terror as I realize my head is no longer covered by a protective layer of dirt, which is bad and wrong! I try to move my legs but they're all gone and my lungs burn because I have lungs now and my whole body spasms as I desperately trial-and-error my way through remembering which muscle makes them inhale. Ah, that's right. There we go. Slowly but surely, I remember how to move as a human. I'm human again, except for my feet of course. I'm back home. Wonderful. Well, at least I can use these lungs for what I've been wishing for since I passed out.

I bury my face in my pillow and scream.