Bianca was an elf. Or more precisely, an orc-elf hybrid. She assumed as much because hovering in bright letters just infront of her face was 1123113acnaiB fle-cro. Which was utter nonsense. No. She was definitely an elf. Bianca had obviously been taken. So Bianca3113211 would have to do. As is unfortunately the custom in RPG's, Bianca was destined to spend her Life in armour that would not feasibly protect a halfling. And here she stood, at her inception, spinning around on a plate. Having various items appear and disappear about her person. The camera zooming in precariously close to body parts that may or may not belong to her, as was the way of birth, until finally she emerged fully formed. 

And by fully, boy did her player mean fully. 6ft2 tall, black matted hair, a scar that took up most of her face, large and somewhat cumbersome breasts (if her main role was to fight, wouldn't they get in the way? Of course if she was to be a healer mores the better). Dave, her creator was currently choosing a nose. Slightly thinner. Shorter. Dave preferred to go under his handle of Hawkwind and had always dreamed of being a 6ft tall elf with double D cups. Obviously he never told his bros on the headset this. How he dreamed of feeling his own verluptuous curves and flirting with the boys. 

Hawkwind had settled on a physical form for Bianca. Now what should her other attributes be. By which of course, he meant her intelligence. Should she be super smart? Hawkwind pondered as he slid the splicer up to 100%. Bianca suddenly felt like she understood everything. No. And the slider went back down. Bianca felt like she was had been hit in the head. 

What about dexterity? As the slider went up Bianca felt herself forced into a walkover crab. Yes. She should be flexible. To fight. she needed to be flexible to fight. Otherwise how else would she dodge all those arrows and skeletons. 

Dave was finally happy. He pressed the "begin" button. 

In her starting pack there was a wooden club. If this was like any other game Bianca would have to go and club some poor baby boar to death to get the money that they have. What use the boar had for money is besides the point. Dave (Hawkwind) has heard that to complete the first mission he needed the Sword is Aaryn, which caused imminent burning with additional fire damage. Dave wanted that sword. 

Bianca did not want to club baby boar to death. Bianca knew she was going to have to go and club the adorable, spotted rare boar to death. In her head she sighed. Whilst Hawkwind got used to the new buttons and Bianca  swung her arms round and did some wierd bopping Bianca wondered what it would be like to have control over ones own limbs. 

The wooden standard issue club would break easily if misused and Daves chubby  fingers almost pawed are the control pad. Dexterity was obviously not one of his strengths. If the wooden club did break Bianca would have to kill the baby (digital) boar to death with her bare orc arms. Well. Not exactly near. There was a not so light splattering of black hair covering her arms. More orc than elf in some places. But which places, Dave pondered? 

Satisfied with his creation much like Frankenstein looking upon his monster for the first time, Dave was a tiny bit disgusted with himself. Still it didn't stop him pressing play. 

// chapter 2

A voice over similar but not of the same quality as James Earl Jones reads aloud:

Then music started and Bianca felt herself moving unexpectedly. She appears to be in some sort of scripted scene. Someone else seemingly controlling her body. What was going on?

She is standing on top of a vast hill overlooking a valley below, much of which is on fire. People are screaming and there are horses a catering around. She can hear a voice say

"And the great sorcesor VanGleet who had once been friend to the orca has cast a spell over the land. He had taken peoples as his slaves and is carrying on his campane of devastation over  this land. Bianca, once high in his court managed to escape with all the secrets to be able to topple him. Unfortunately as she fled the warlock Kathttar cast a remmemboral Cham on her and she can remember nothing. You must save her memories to save the land. Only then will the  land and inhabitants of Draxian system to their normal mundane lives and return the world to a state of equilibrium. 

Hawkwind, do you accept this mission?

A large "yes" and "no" hovered in front of Bianca in red. She watched as a box moved down to the "Yes" and they both disappeared. What on Earth was going on?

Bianca was in what appeared to be a small human village with lots of people standing round not doing much. She walked over to some grass and pulled out her wooden club. Where had that been stored, she did not know or care to consider. This outfit certainly did not contain pockets. Dave mash the keypad figuring out the controls. Bianca lurched one way. Then the other. Squatting and letting out a loud almost sexual "Huh!", "Huh!" "Huh!" Every time she jumped or rolled . She must have looked positively demented. Dragging to the left and then jumping into a forward roll. At least all the villagers seemed more uninterested than she would be if there were suddenly a 6ft3 she elf in their village. 

Swinging the club wilfully through the tall grass there was a sudden musical note and a gem appeared which Bianca uncontrollably grabbed and held above her head. There was a text box there too. Some sort of meG? Gem. Oh. Pretty. Dave seemed determined to huh about the field until all the grass was uprooted, which seemed very destructive and rude to Bianca. All the Gems seemed to be disappearing to the same place as the club had come from. This was all very confusing. She was not carrying a bag...

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

And then they were off to a blacksmiths. As they walked through the door Dave forced Bianca to smash some really rather charming pottery vases by the door and again the Gems came and went to the mystery place. It seems the "holding them above your head" thing only happens when it was a gem of a new colour. 

Bianca was sure the blacksmith would be angry they had smashed his pots and now they were stealing his cheese.  He just stood there. It really was terribly bad manners. Not that she was sure what manners were. 

She walked up to (or rather smashed into) the blacksmith who responded with an annoyed "Oi!" Moving slightly to the left and then not saying anything. When she was directly facing him a screen appeared which Hawkwind seemed to be in control of. After a while she was handed a shiny sword. Ooo. She had used gems she had found in this mans house to pay for it.  Maybe he didn't know the gems were there? Why would you hide gems in a pot. This guy really could repeate stuff. Dave seemed to be trying different sequences to really get to know this guy. And then the blacksmith said 

"My boy had gone missing these thee moon's. If you return him to me I will craft you some armour for your time. He was last seen by the river. I really am worried. Will you help?"

Again Dave had selected "Yes". Now Bianca felt bad for this man. She would save his boy! They should go to the river now and hunt for him, wha what's going on? Another field  appeared before them. More grass. Yes let's not hurry. He is obviously not drowning or anything imminent. After turning over one field they headed into a wooded area (coincidentally away from the river) adjacent to the village. It was green and super serene . It almost felt like time slowed down and the sun shone down through the trees. If this was video gaming maybe Bianca could get used to it after all. 

Just as everything seemed to be tranquil her vision honed in on something in the distance, a health check appeared and a bullseye around- what was it? A bear? Are you joking. A freaking bear? 

There had better be a diamond stored in that thing. Bracing herself and drawing her green blood Bianca dew her shiny new sword form netherthere. Just as the bear was about to engage the world paused and clear kill spots were indicated with arrows by the bears shoulder and neck. 

Okay, Bianca could do these. Dave just needed to direct her correctly. Just as there was faith and resolution filling her soul, teeth were mauling into her left shoulder. A bar on the top left started to decrease. 83%, 72%. Was Dave going to do anything? No. It's fine. She could just flail around on the floor. What the fuck, Dave?

Everything went black

Bianca came to in the blacksmiths. He was telling her about his son who needed saving. She knew that. They had been over it. It really did feel quite urgent. 

Billy. The kids name was Billy. Again she was leaving the store, only this time rather than heading into the Forrest they turned right towards the river. As they meandered along there was a commotion and again all of Bianca focus went in on something. This new sensation she decided should be called pulling. This time there was an older looking man in a very oversized hat. Something inside of her said this was a mage. He was being accosted by solders. Feeling Dave pushing her buttons (and not in a fun way) Bianca was forced into running over to the rather silly looking man. Drawing her new shiny sword and assuming an attack posture the solders stopped in their roughing up and turned to see the she beast. Dropping their swords they ran away shouting that VanGleet would hear of this insubordination. 

Helping the old mage up, he didn't seemed shocked  by her rather abhorrent appearing- now with added bear scar, thank you Dave. In face he looked directly at her. Like Bianca was something from a long lost dream. 

"Thank you for your help with those unruly thugs of the emperor, my dear. As a reward, I shall grant you 3 precious spells. The gift of Fire.."

As he said this everything suddenly seemed covered in fire. Burning without hurting. 

"The gift of light, for sometimes we all need to be shown the way"

This time there was a blinding light almost emanating from Bianca herself. 

"And the power to heal, for you have a great journey to go on, Bianca queen of the orcs, and you shall not come out unharmed."

Odd. She didn't remember telling him her name. What was Dave going now?

"I am an old friend but I cannot tell you more. Please accept this gifts as thanks. I look forward to seeing you as you move through your journey. But first may I suggest you equip yourself with some *armour*. This will help you on your way and prevent bear attacks."

How on Earth did he know about the bear attack? Oh yeah she was nearly wearing tiny clothes and had a massive bite mark on her shoulder. It must have been a bear- or a baby dragon. This guy seemed to know too much. What journey? Was he in the cut scene?

"And now I shall leave you child. For I fear someone else is in need of your assistance. I will keep a watchful eye on your progress and hope to see you in the village of oohmlot in two weeks. Farewell, Bianca the beautiful"

Now she knew he was taking the piss. 

Dave was trying to get the mage to say more but he seemed determined to walk on. Even hitting him didn't seem to affect him. If only there were a way for her to get armour. Just then, in her perifial vision 3 new bars joined the black bar that had gone down when she had been fighting the bear. One Red, presumably for fire. One blue for light and one green for heal. But what were these spells. Were they infinite. How did she top them up? Could they just go to the stupid river and top Billy from drowning?

Chopping grass and destroying every pot on route, they painfully slowly made their way to the river. It was suddenly much much darker. What would she find lurking in the shadows?

// 

Chapter 3

Rounding the some trees a beautiful waterfall with a man made dam at the top presented itself. Sitting quite serenely in the valley. Bianca was not feeling serene. Nore* was she getting the impression this was the time for a mindfulness moment or some Forrest bathing. 

In the middle distance she could hear some whimpering which sounded like a scared child. Or an injured fox. There's no way to tell the two apart. Approaching the  High rising rocks in a sort of sideways saunter that bianca could only assume should be subtle she saw three trolls. Why do trolls always appear in threes? Probably best blame Tolkien on that one. Just as the bear had honned in on her now the trolls saw her. 

"Mmmm more food for the pot Groucher" 

"Grab it timmion!"

The third merely made some awful gurgling noise. 

Just making out Billy in a wooden trap in a nearby Tree Bianca was thinking. The trolls must have caught hims yesterday but not had time to cook him. Only able to move at nighttime. To the right there was a huge cavern in the rocks which must be their home. Goody. 

Suddenly they were in the netherwhere of her inexistent pockets. Nope. Nothing other than the sword and the gems Dave. Shall we enable the sword? Well done. 

Back in the darkness Bianca hoped Dave was enough of a geek to remember that trolls can't survive sunlight. He seemed pretty set on the sword. It's okay. She could wait. Just like that (Dave must have drunk some sort of energy drink) there was a mash on the keypad and Bianca was grunting and rolling all over the scene. Through the fire. Yup. Great. That does actually hurt- no no. It's fine. 

As she was being hit by multiple clubs and reading to pass out and start over again at the armory* Dave seemed to hit the right combination of buttons and a light as bright as the sun emitted from the core of Bianca. It encompasses the whole field of vision and cry's from the trolls came fast. The blue bar started to steadily drain. As it emptied the trolls were turning to stone. Grabbing her sword with both hands they managed to behead two of the trolls. The third merely looked up gurgling. And then he too was dust. 

Well done Dave. Bianca was genuinely proud of him.