(Gary)

We, as humans, keep on wishing to go back in the past, and change one or more of our decisions. Contemplating about the possibility of a different course… an alternative route. But as they say, everything happens for a reason. Each interaction and conclusion, is already ordained. And maybe, it was. Maybe, when bombarding me with disaster after disaster, catastrophe - one after another, the world where I lived seemed to make my life a living hell…

Time kept on passing, days kept on changing. And I, became more and more embroiled in twists and turns with each decision that I‌ made.

“Would you like to have some breakfast, honey?”

“Why haven’t you been promoted to the manager, you scoundrel?”

“Wanna have some fun tonight, Mister?”

All different decisions, all leaving a scars in my pure heart… leading me to discover myself - rediscover to be exact.

Still, I could not even figure out the person reflected back when I stand in front of the mirror? And all I could see was a clear face with dark eyes. Black eyes, and a well built muscular body - showing the effects of my regular exercise. All in all, a handsome young man, but the aura was nowhere in sync with the youthful figure. I had an aura of pandemic, and utter tragedy.

I could see person after person, passing one after another, in this bright and beautiful city, only to suffer chaos. Only a privileged section enjoyed all the success, which remained true, no matter the city or country. On one hand were the bums who sat with their backs against the grimy building while having Starbucks coffee, awaiting their next paycheck. While on the other, were the business professionals, who utilized all their sweat and blood to print dollars after dollars.

Each individual I‌ stumbled upon had made at least a decision better than mine. Why, you ask? Well, it’s simply because they were able to make a choice, while I… I just kept on roaming - like a vagabond, in a daze suffering a series of breakdowns. The cause being the drugs that I‌ had last night.

All I could see was black and white… and after God knows how much time passed on, I finally was able to stop my ever stumbling feet. A wide variety of hooters rang out loud into my messy head, making the already disturbed mind grew even blurrier.

Just then, a professional two piece gray colored suit entered my vision, who seemed to be yelling on someone via his mobile phone. Before I‌ could clearly hear what she was saying, her words cut off while her mysterious eyes ran up and over my body.

Fuck me - will you? A voice came out from my heart. Yet, for some reason, she did not notice and kept on walking and passed me while giving me a glance. And for fucks sake, I‌ swear when I looked into her amber colored eyes, my last bit of reasoning was thrown into dust.

My thought process seemed to have abandoned me yet another time, and I‌ ended up in yet another confused place. Yet, not knowing why, I stood there while rows and rows of people passed by me. My shiny black hair swirled along side the wave, but still could not find a strain of visibility in others’ eyes.

Everything seemed to repeat itself, the scene of me roaming around half awake in a tipsy condition - the scene of everyone ignoring me - the fact that no one bothered with me. It itself had repeated over and over, leading me to ask myself - Am I even required in this world? If not, then should I just end it for once and all?

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It seemed like the combination of Bacardi and cocaine were leading my mind to a completely forbidden thought process. I took out a pill from my pocket, and gulped it in. My headache seemed to lessen - NO, more accurately, I was unable to feel the headache.

With colors finally entering my vision, I recognized the place I was in - ‘The Red Light District’. I wanted to laugh seeing that even the path was embed into my muscle memory. And why not, I‌ could not count the exceeding number of times, I have visited this place.

A place to fulfill your fetishes… to fulfill your demons inside. As the saying goes, a promising night of heated fucking with a stranger, resolves all worries and stress from the body.

Ever since I‌ was a child, I was being looked highly because of my calm and collected nature. Coupled with my jade like perfect body structure, they viewed me as some sort of prince descended from the heavens. But I knew the reality… the reality that all of the assets that they viewed were nothing more than curse to me. A curse planted via DNA. DNA… the cause of all the ruckus and chaos in this world.

“Hey, are you listening? Stay out of the way, you…!”

I was still not able to balance myself properly as I collided with a beautiful and rich blonde. I knew at first glance that she was rich because of her wrist watch… Rolex. A watch whose cost surpassed the cost of my entire life. I was sure that even if I end up selling my life and work as a slave, I‌ would never be able to buy one.

A hand suddenly wrapped around my waist, seemingly helping me to stabilize myself. I could feel the softness of her hand through the clothes on my back, but did not dare to look into the eyes of the person who saved me from falling down. I often had dream about saving a damsel in distress, but here the damsel seemed to be helping the prince out of distress.‌.. quite ironic, wasn’t it.

My eyelids grew heavy, and my throat was about to vomit the excess of alcohol burning in my stomach. I felt tired… and lost. So lost, that even a girl, was able to lead me around. But I could not care less as I was able to walk steadily with her help.

I could vaguely feel that he path that we were on, lead to a destination which was known only to her. We passed through the buzzing street through the trash and fog present in the air. The smell was anything but pleasant, yet it was neither able affect me… or her. Yes! Giving me yet another surprising, her chiseled face did not gave in to any discomfort. If that was all an act, then I‌ would directly nominate her for Oscars!

I could hear horns yanking loudly, dogs barking on one another, and yelling coming from every alternate streets. This darkness… it seemed so familiar, yet so different. But the strange thing was that even through all this noise, I felt an eerie silence… like an omen that something is going to happen… something devil like.

“Looks like I have to help you get home. Let out the address!”

Somehow walking along, I seem to have gathered enough courage, to turn and stare back into the deep amber eyes of my savior. It was the first time that our eyes met, yet it all seemed illusion to me… just like a fantasy.

Her eyes contained mystery that seemed to be founding someone to solve it for her. The girl seemed to be hiding some secrets… yes, secrets. The one thing that everyone has, but hers were terrifying enough to give me chills down my spine. My intuition screamed at me… wanting me to take a run out of the woman’s grasp. But my mind had already grown tired and wanted to rest… like forever.

I often cursed myself… for not making a better decision. I always had encountered mishaps far greater and mightier than my peers. But this was the first time, that my gut screamed so loud. It happened always, and later on I kept on condemning myself.

I wanted to make a right decision… even a single one would satisfy me… just a single one. I screamed from my brain with all my might. Yet, my heart was pulled strongly towards this stranger. I knew that the smart thing would be to flee… flee from the cab and away from this stranger, but my heart did not let me. Or rather, it was my eyes that never seemed to put themselves aside from her breathtaking face.

The voice inside my mind kept on reminding me of the danger… wanting me to not make another mistake. But my heart… it accepted that. I felt as if it had been hours since she spoke, and here I was ready with a decision.

“3039 Meadowlark Drive”

I finally made a decision… one that I would be regretting for the rest of my life.