Just make it go away, please. It hurts, it hurts so badly.

That is all I could think until the pain finally started fading away. I am not sure whether I really felt better or I just got used to it. But it was gone now.

I still remember it vividly. It was 12PM with the sun high up shining into my eyes. It's obviously long past the time I had to go to school. I think I heard my mom call the school, but I am not sure.

I can still hear the clock ticking, though clearly not as slowly as before. Wait. The pain. It is gone. A sigh of relief escapes my lips.

I fall back down onto my bed. The soft cloud like texture of the mattress caressing me and the blankets keeping me warm. Even my old stuffed animals spread around the room give me some sense of comfort. I recall an embarrassing memory and blood rushes to my face. Why am I feeling embarrassed everybody goes through something like that once in there life. Heck I am all alone nobody can see me, why am I feeling so embarrassed about a little stuffed toy. It takes a few seconds but I overcome my urge to look away, instead I choose to indulge in my nostalgia. I really used to love pokémon didn't I. I stretch out my hand picking up the old pikachu toy from under the slanted roof of my room.

Jeez, how old is this thing, I have had it since when? I must have been six back then, I was still making plushy toy armies around my bed to ward off the scary monsters hidden in the darkness. These scary monsters I later learned go under the fearsome name of "fluttering curtains". When I finally realized what it was I must have looked so stupid. A short chuckle escapes my mouth looking back at my silly childhood memories. I think I feel a bit better now, reminiscing about old times lifts my mood for some reason. "Just like an old man". I say out loud however there is noone left here to listen.

I feel a lot better now, what is the time? I turn my head and take a look at the clock. Seriously it's 1PM already. In a mere moment I went from a daze to being fully awake. I am hungry as hell and though I am still a little tired but I want to eat my breakfast so I decide it is time to get out of bed. I carefully turn and twist my body into a sitting position as to not make the same mistake as before. Now with my legs hanging out of the bed, my body laying on its side and horizontally on top of my bed I pull myself up into a sitting position. My previously tense shoulders suddenly relaxing. This morning was terrible I think to myself as I put my hands on the railing of my bed to support me while I stand up. I still feel a little shaky despite all of the rest, I can only hope I will never have to feel like this again. I almost loose my footing and nearly fall over in spite of my hand holding the railing. I reflexively grab around me in order to find something I can hold onto. I grab onto the mattress barely keeping myself standing. Only now do I notice my shaky legs and still painful back. I don't know why but I feel drained. I get the urge to simply lie down again however quickly dismiss that idea. I'll try hold onto something while I walk. I stumble my way across my room to the door holding onto any and everything that I can find including an old tabletop football game that nearly fell over.

With a loud thump I nearly fall into the door I am supposed to open.

Looking back at this day I just realise how ridiculous it just looks, it is as if it came straight out of a poorly written drama with a heavily injured man walking down the stairs to thank the damsel in distress being shouted at by her father. However even now I can remember the pain so vividly. I look up from my thoughts when a bird shrieks echo loudly through the forest.

Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!

I am not feeling so well and I really don't want to risk falling down the stairs with my shaky legs, however this problem is easily solved with an old trick I thought up back when I wasn't allowed to use one of my legs due to an injury.

I sit down on the edge of the stairs and my legs two steps down, I slowly pull myself forward and with a slightly painful thud I hit the wooden stairs. 1 step done only 20 or so left to go. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. It took a while but when I finally reach the kitchen, despite my painful bottom I still feel a bit of relieve. Now that I am downstairs I can finally eat breakfast.

I am hungry and yet I also feel nauseous, it is a strange feeling those two together. However the fact that you need to eat when you are sick was drilled into me by my doctor aka mom from a young age so it doesn't matter, time to eat. Now that I am finally sitting down I lose myself in my thoughts, as I always do when I am alone. When was the last time I had so much trouble walking again? I think it was when I had a serious case of the flu. Was it my second elementary school or third that it happened in? I don't know. I only vaguely remember, though I am sure it was a lot worse today than it was back then. Ding, dong, I can hear the old clock in my house ring twice, it is probably 2PM already. I am am actually starting to feel bored just sitting here. I am actually feeling a lot better now, still a bit tired but fine for the rest. While I move my way back to my room I think back to the hilariously stupid way I "walked" down the stairs. I never thought having had a heavily injured leg can actually come in handy one day.

This might be a great memory in the future, but for now I just want to leave this day behind me.

Time to play some games.

Sitting against the cold metal train I cannot help but grimace at my own foolishness. How could I have not seen. Was it ignorance? Stupidity? Or did I simply not want to know. All the hints were there. You could have seen this coming years ahead of time. I curl up into a ball in order to hide away. I did with what I had back then, I know that I did my best. I know that back then I couldn't have known. How could I have foreseen something that even the doctors didn't understand after countless amounts of blood and other tests. I was in a hopeless situation like this before. Back then I managed to do the impossible. Can I do it again? How? I had at least a little bit of money to back me up then, is there another way? I have been trying so hard for months is it time to give up? Should I just sit here and think until the cold loving embrace of death takes me? How did I overcome it back then?

This might be a great memory in the future, but for now I just want to leave everything behind me.

I didn't learn a thing in all of these years, I made the mistake once, I made it twice, like the dumb donkey hitting the same stone twice.

The Sage:

The easy road will lead you into the loving embrace of the reaper. When life gives you an easy way out, shred it to pieces and build one with your own two hands.