I was floating in a black void. The last thing I remember was walking out of the shower.
You have died
So, I'm dead if the blue checkbox filling the void is to be believed. Is this some hallucination caused by a dying brain? The afterlife? Is the world just a video game played by an advanced civilization?
User is dead
User is Christian
Error: Pearly Gates are closed during Armageddon
Interesting. I was baptized as a baby but I never considered myself a believer. Now, apparently the world is ending. Did everyone else die?
Searching for alternatives
Alternative found
User is dead
User is aware of the Norse pantheon
Error: Valhalla is closed during Ragnarök
So it's not just Armageddon but also Ragnarok. Are they the same event just by different names? Also shouldn't Valhalla be for warriors who died in battle?
Searching for alternatives
Alternative found
Loki’s little trick to trick fate
User was baptized in “Loki’s little fishing club”
User is aware of the Allfather
[Redacted]
Ok, this is definitely a hallucination. “Loki’s little fishing club,” really?
If you are reading this then it worked.
Hiiii <3, you probably know me as Loki and I'm dead, just like every other god.
You have a choice to make, and you will make that choice. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading it. However, I will still tell you what's about to happen to you, so that you can only blame yourself for the consequences
Your Soul will be turned inside out and then have surgery performed on it. Don't worry, I'm an expert at it.
Then you will be immortal; well, not really. You will reincarnate with all your memories every time you die, with some power accumulated between lives.
There will be some temporary amnesia regarding your life on earth while your soul recovers, but it should take less than a millennium for it to fully heal. ;)
Because I am the most generous (and the most humble) god alive (even when dead). I will give you a blessing and a small hint after you make your choice.
BTW: If you decline, your soul will slowly dissolve. You will forget every happy memory you ever had, and it will be replaced by pain. Eventually, the only thing you'll remember is the soul equivalent of being slowly dissolved by acid :)
This blue box felt different from the rest. I actually had to read it to know its content. I didn't notice it before, but I just knew the content of the other blue boxes without actually having to read them. And would very much prefer living to being dissolved. Thanks Satan.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Your Soul is about to be altered. This process is likely to be painful and you will lose consciousness
Do you consent?
[YES]
[NO]
I selected YES, or at least I tried to. I couldn't actually touch the button, saying yes didn't work. I tried thinking about pressing the green button.
ARHG!
----------------------------------------
The text box didn't lie about it hurting. It was fractions of a second before I lost consciousness but it hurt more than all pain I have experienced before combined.
I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was a massive tree. Another blue box popped up.
Hiii :) my bestie, the tree is special.
There is a green marble in your pocket. Touch the tree with it and you will activate the reincarnation system. On your next death it should work properly.
Good Luck!
Thanks, Loki; that might have taken a while to figure out.
I searched my pockets for the marble. Then, I walked up to the tree and touched it as instructed
Unsurprisingly, another box popped up.
Greetings Reincarnator!
You are a true reincarnator. You will always be able to reincarnate and you are immune to permanent mental and soul damage
Soul damage detected
As a result of Soul damage, some of your life feats cannot be processed.
Avoid future Soul damage to prevent a loss of points.
You have reached adulthood for the first time, 10 points
You have lived for 38 years, 4 points
You have died for the first time, 10 points
You have had an advanced education, 5 points
You have died in a slip and fall accident that has engrained itself in your soul, [Absolute Grip] Perk acquired, 1 point.
You have been blessed with No Gods, No Kings, No Masters by ??? of the L1T7GC2D Seed World Pantheon
Total: 30 + 1 Perk + 1 Blessing
Would you like to spend your points?
'Yes'
Attributes Perks
I will take a look at the perks first, Maybe it will tell me what [Absolute Grip] does.
The Reincarnator Perk Store
You have new Perks available
You can enable or disable your Perks for your next reincarnation
[Absolute Grip] (enabled)
The power to never slip and to cling on to surfaces as if your life depends on it, because it sometimes does.
As long as this perk is in use you will be able to stick to any surface at will.
So, I will be like an ant and able to walk up walls? Surely, there has to be some limit to it. Anyways, let's take a look at Attributes.
The Reincarnator Attribute Store
DEX 0 STR 0 END 0 INT 0 WIS 0 CHA 0
The cost to increase an Attribute is 10 Points. You have 30 points.
Further Attributes have not been unlocked
My life is worth 3 Attributes. I hope that people don't have them in the thousands, else I want a refund.
After focusing on DEX an explanation popped up.
DEX
DEX stands for Dexterity, with higher DEX you will be able to accelerate and decelerate parts of your body faster and more precisely.
I took a look at all of the other stats. Dexterity is how quickly you can swing around a stick. Strength is how heavy the stick can be, and endurance is how long you can do it for and also how much damage you can take when someone beats you with it. Intelligence makes you think faster about how to use a stick. Wisdom makes you remember how to use a stick. Charisma makes you able to talk the other guy away from beating you with the stick. It seems pretty intuitive.
I spent a point on each mental stat. I'd rather think than run for my life.
The Reincarnator Attribute Store
DEX 0 STR 0 END 0 INT 1 WIS 1 CHA 1
The cost to increase an Attribute is 10 Points. You have 0 points.
Further Attributes have not been unlocked
You have no points remaining. Would you like to reincarnate now?
[YES] / [NO]
I don't think there is anything else that I can do now, I could sit next to the tree for a few days but that's boring. With a deep breath I, selected yes and, the world went dark.