Chapter 0

「TWISTED THOUGHTS 」

[「 FIRST-PERSON VIEWPOINT」]

The air in the sky still feels the same, yet it feels so different at the same time. It carries a weight, like an invisible thread pulling at the edges of my consciousness, unraveling moments I thought I had left behind. With every step I take, the rhythm of my movements syncs with the echoes of my past. It’s as if the ground beneath me, the very earth, remembers. Each crack in the pavement, each whisper of the wind, resonates with a memory too vivid to ignore.

I walk forward, but the present feels fragile, like glass poised to shatter. The past is not just a shadow here—it is alive

The air carries their stories too, tangled with mine. A faint smell—burnt wood, or perhaps wildflowers—wafts by, and I am a child again, barefoot in a meadow, the sun burning my shoulders as laughter echoes in the distance.

The past resonates with the present, and the future binds the past, yet it distorts the now. I’ve been told time is linear, a path stretching endlessly forward, but walking here,

I don’t believe it.

I pause, unsure if I’ve been walking for hours or minutes. The wind picks up, colder now, biting at my face.

The past and the present collide in a rush, leaving me dizzy. I reach out, pressing a hand against the glass, but the reflection doesn’t move.

The air grows heavy, suffocating, yet I don’t turn away. I can’t. The threads of time bind me here, their weave intricate and unrelenting.

Yet i still continue to walk.

“Hey~where are we going?”

Her voice drifted over from behind me, soft and teasing. It carried an almost musical quality, one that made me pause for just a moment before turning to glance at her. She was the same as always—beautiful, in a way that felt distant and dreamlike. It was the kind of beauty that you could look at for hours yet never quite understand.

“Who knows?” I replied with a smirk, dodging her question as usual.

She pouted, her expression playful, but I didn’t linger. Turning my eyes back to the path ahead, I kept walking, my steps light but deliberate. The world around us seemed frozen in time, painted in the fading hues of sunset. The air carried a chill, biting just enough to remind you that winter had arrived. It wasn’t unpleasant—just sharp enough to keep you grounded in the moment.

Behind me, her footsteps followed, soft and steady. There was something reassuring about the sound, like the quiet ticking of a clock in a silent room. It filled the spaces where words didn’t need to be.

After a while, I stopped, raising my head to the sky. Something cold brushed against my cheek—a single snowflake, fragile and fleeting. More followed, drifting down in lazy spirals as if the heavens themselves had decided to scatter fragments of forgotten dreams.

“It’s snowing,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

She stepped up beside me, her presence warm despite the chill in the air. Her gaze was fixed upward, and for a moment, I caught the faintest flicker of awe in her eyes.

I turned to look at her, taking in the way the soft light of the sunset caught in her hair, the way the snowflakes clung to her without melting. For just a moment, I thought about saying something—anything—but the words didn’t come.

Instead, I let my eyes drift back to the sky. The orange and gold of the horizon faded into the deep blues of approaching night, and the snow fell quietly, each flake a tiny miracle.

“...Beautiful,” I murmured, the word slipping out before I could stop it.

“Hm? Did you say something?” she asked, tilting her head curiously.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly, stuffing my hands into my coat pockets.

She gave me a look, her lips curving into a small smile that said she didn’t believe me but wouldn’t press the matter.

The two of us stood there, watching as the snow fell around us, the world growing quieter with every passing second. The sun dipped lower, its light fading into twilight, and I felt a strange ache in my chest—a feeling I couldn’t quite name.

I turned to her again, wanting to say something, but the words caught in my throat. Instead, I just stood there, the snow settling around us like a soft, silent curtain.

I resumed walking, sliding my hand into the pocket of my hoodie. The air was biting now, colder than before, but the snow falling lazily around us softened its sting. Each step forward felt deliberate, the crunch of snow underfoot rhythmic, almost hypnotic.

Schizophrenic.

That was the word the doctors had used. They’d said it so matter-of-factly, their voices droning on about treatments, management plans, and "a brighter future." Hah. As if they knew anything about the world I lived in.

Ah. Such a blissful world.

I stretched out my hand carefully, brushing hers with a tentative touch before fully taking it. Her hand slipped into mine without hesitation, as it always did. No resistance, no questions, just a quiet acceptance that made everything feel right.

We kept walking, side by side now. The snow was falling thicker, the world around us growing quieter with every step. People passed by occasionally, their faces blurred in the pale light of the evening, but I could feel their stares. Their eyes lingered, uneasy, confused.

The people are looking at me again.

It didn’t bother me. It never did. In fact, I welcomed it.

The more they look at me, the more they’ll ignore her. The more they’ll evade her.

That way, you’ll be mine only.

You’ll only look at me.

The sun was sinking lower now, the horizon bleeding into deep blues and purples. The snowfall caught the last light of the day, sparkling like fragments of a shattered dream. The path ahead seemed endless, winding through the park and disappearing into the haze of white.

Her hand was still in mine, warm and soft, a constant in a world that always felt like it was shifting beneath my feet. I gripped it tighter. Not enough to hurt, just enough to reassure myself that she was real.

As long as you’re here, nothing else matters.

The sound of her steps beside me, the faint warmth of her hand—it was all I needed.

We kept walking, the snow crunching underfoot, the faint hum of the world around us fading into the background.

You’re mine. Only mine.

I stole another glance at her, the way her hair caught the faint light, the way the snowflakes landed on her shoulders but didn’t melt. She was perfect, ethereal, untouched by the weight of the world that pressed so heavily on me.

They’ll never understand.

The snow fell harder now, the path ahead disappearing into the haze of white. The cold bit at my skin, but it didn’t matter.

I let out a quiet laugh, the sound muffled by the snowfall.

Let’s just keep walking.

I was hearing a white hoodie, an odd thought that flitted through my mind. It was the same thought that came every time I noticed the difference. The hoodie was not really white, not in the way it was on other people. It stood out, at least in my own perception. It felt like I was wearing something so simple, yet it contrasted sharply against everything else.

My hair, black as it should’ve been, wasn’t the same anymore. Once dark, it had slowly turned white, streaks of silver threading through the black like wisps of smoke caught in time. I wasn’t like others. No one really was. But I… I had changed. The black hair of youth faded under the pressure. I wore the evidence of my stress, my depression—things that no one saw or cared to ask about.

I pushed the thought aside, stepping forward into the familiar, looming building ahead—my high school. The gates stood open, like a mouth waiting to swallow me whole. I had no care for the students who roamed the hallways, nor the teachers who glanced at me from time to time. They never really saw me. They never really understood.

I walked through the gates without hesitation, putting my hood over my head as I always did. The high school uniform, black and neatly pressed beneath my hoodie, was there for all to see, though no one dared to comment on it. My reputation had long since sealed that silent respect for me.

Ah. Foolish humans.

They walked past not even eying a glance at me.

The school’s hallways stretched before me—long and echoing. I passed by classrooms, the faint hum of students’ voices bleeding through the walls. It was like the world carried on without me, just as it always had. The younger students shuffled around, whispering, laughing, pretending like they knew what their future would hold. But they didn’t. They had no clue.

Middle schoolers were no different, their eyes wide and filled with naive curiosity. They didn’t even know what it meant to be alone. What it meant to walk through life as an outsider.

I used to wonder what it meant to have "friends." But I’d long since abandoned the idea. I never really understood what they were, what the whole concept meant. I never tried to understand it. It wasn’t a foreign concept; I had seen it, observed it in the quiet, mindless exchanges in the hallways. I’d watched them talk, laugh, spend time with each other. It was something that existed in the world, but it never reached me. I never felt the need for it.

Because who could understand me? Who could ever see me the way I saw myself?

I soon reached the stairs, my footsteps loud in the otherwise quiet school. My hand brushed against the railing as I climbed, each step bringing me closer to my destination. The rooftop.

The doors to the rooftop creaked open as I pushed them, the sounds of the school and the students fading into a dull murmur behind me. I stepped out onto the roof, the cold air hitting me like a slap across the face. My feet slowed, but I didn’t stop walking. The vast expanse of the school building stretched beneath me, the sheer scale of it making the space feel even larger than it was. It was a place where you could lose yourself, where you could disappear and no one would ever know.

I stopped when I reached the edge, the rails at the corner of the roof. They were sturdy, solid, but my gaze traveled down the length of the building, over the horizon, where the city sprawled in every direction. The world, so vast, and yet, it felt so small from up here.

I turned slightly, eyes catching the silhouette of her standing a few steps behind. Her form was blurred in the periphery of my vision. She hadn’t followed me up, but there was something about the way she stood there, still, as if waiting. Waiting for something she didn’t even fully understand. She never did understand.

But that was fine. She didn’t need to.

I stood at the edge.

My breath misted in the air, and I felt the weight of it—of everything—pressing down on me.

I glanced back at her, just for a moment. The distance between us felt vast now, and though she didn’t speak, I could feel her waiting.

The world was quieter up here, distant, far away.

The distance between us was one kilometer.

She was moving toward me, her steps light and delicate, as though the world could fall apart beneath her feet and she wouldn’t notice.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“Hey~ Hoshino,” she called, her voice cutting through the silence of the rooftop.

I didn’t respond immediately. Instead, I turned my gaze to the sky. The sun was setting behind the clouds, casting an orange glow that mingled with the snowflakes, turning them into tiny diamonds in the dimming light. It was beautiful, wasn’t it? This moment. Everything was perfect. And yet, I felt this strange emptiness tugging at my chest.

“Mmm.” I nodded, a simple gesture, acknowledging her words, but my mind wasn’t there. My mind was elsewhere, trapped in the tangled mess of thoughts I never could unravel. The wind tugged at the strands of my white hair, making them flutter like delicate feathers.

She stopped a few paces away from me, looking at me with those wide, innocent eyes that didn’t yet understand the weight of the world. The snowflakes stuck to her hair, catching the last of the day’s light, giving her an almost ethereal glow. She looked at me with such warmth, such care, and yet…

“So, why are we here again?” she asked, tilting her head slightly, the question hanging between us like a forgotten thread.

Why are we here?

I stood there for a moment, frozen. The question shouldn’t have made me hesitate, but it did. I should’ve known the answer. But the truth was, I didn’t know why we were here. Or maybe I did, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it.

I placed my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, trying to mask the strange, heavy feeling in my chest. My hood fell down, the cool wind pushing against my face, my hair dancing in the breeze, adding to the sense of detachment.

I tried to gather myself, to regain some semblance of control over the situation, but it felt like everything was slipping through my fingers.

Then, I felt it—something cold, metallic, and familiar. I pulled it out without thinking, my fingers curling around the shape of it. A pistol. The cold weight of it was a comfort, somehow. It was real. It was something tangible, something I could hold onto in a world that felt like it was constantly falling apart.

I turned the gun over in my fingers, letting it roll smoothly from one hand to the other. The motion was casual, almost absent-minded, but there was something deliberate about it. I was making a choice. A decision. But I wasn’t sure if I had the courage to see it through.

I flicked my wrist and tossed it toward her. It spun through the air like a fragile thing, catching the light before landing squarely in her hands.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she caught it effortlessly, but the question was there, clear on her face.

Where did this come from? Why are you giving it to me?

“Shoot…” I said in a low voice, barely audible, but the words hung heavy in the cold air. She heard it. I knew she did.

“Who?” she asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly, a note of hesitation in it that I couldn’t ignore.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, the sound slipping from my lips before I could stop it.

“Fufu,” I laughed, the amusement in my voice a sharp contrast to the icy chill that had settled in my chest. "This kid... doesn’t seem to know a single thing."

I tilted my head, letting the silence grow thicker between us. The weight of the moment pressed down on me, and I could feel the familiar, suffocating pressure creeping into my bones. I felt detached, disconnected from everything except her, and that was both comforting and suffocating in equal measure.

“Shoot me,” I said, my voice steady, unwavering. The words hung in the air, thick with meaning, and I knew she didn’t understand.

She stared at me for a moment, her face a mixture of confusion and disbelief, her hands trembling slightly as she held the gun in her grip. Her expression twisted, and I could see it then—the shock, the hesitation, the refusal already building in her.

“No,” she said softly, her voice trembling, but firm. “I won’t do it.”

I knew this would happen. I had expected it from the start. She wasn’t like me. She couldn’t be.

So I prepared for it.

I reached into my pocket again, feeling the smooth handle of the knife pressing against my palm. This time, there was no hesitation. I pulled it out, the blade gleaming coldly in the fading light of the sunset.

She watched me, her eyes wide and confused, and I could feel her worry, her fear. She didn’t understand. She never would.

I placed the blade against my neck, the cold metal pressing into the soft skin.

She gasped, her hands shaking violently as she dropped the pistol. It hit the ground with a soft thud, the sound almost drowned out by the rushing noise in my ears.

I pressed the blade harder against my skin, and before she could say another word, I made the first cut.

The pain was sharp and sudden, but it didn’t matter. The blood surged up in a hot rush, spilling down the side of my neck, painting my skin crimson. My vision blurred, but I felt an odd sense of clarity, as if the world had shifted and I was no longer trapped in it.

“Stop!” she screamed, rushing forward, her hands reaching for me.

But it was too late.

Everything that had been weighing me down, all the pain and confusion, all the noise in my head, it felt so far away now. In this moment, I was free.

Free from everything.

And as I felt myself slipping, I knew one thing for sure.

It was pain i was familiar with.

[「 SECOND-PERSON VIEWPOINT 」]

I stood frozen in place, watching him. The gun trembled in my hands as I stared at him, unsure of what to do, unsure of what was even happening. This wasn’t the Hoshino I knew. This wasn’t the boy I had come to care for.

Everything felt wrong. The air, the snow, the silence—it all felt like it was closing in around me. And there was a part of me that wished I could simply vanish, slip away from all of this. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave him. Not like this. Not when he was falling apart in front of me.

He’d handed me the gun, his words hanging in the air like a thick fog. Shoot me. His voice was so calm, so steady, like he was just asking for a glass of water. But the request was impossible to process. My hands shook, and my mind screamed at me to do something—anything—but I couldn’t move.

I stared at him. He wasn’t like the other boys I’d known. He wasn’t like anyone else. He wasn’t… human, not anymore.

No, I thought desperately. I can’t do this.

“I won’t,” I whispered, trying to make sense of what was happening. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pull the trigger. I couldn’t end him. He was everything to me.

But even as I said it, a creeping sense of dread settled over me. I could feel it, deep inside me—like something was slipping away, something vital, something real. A sense of foreboding that tightened my chest, leaving me gasping for air.

He chuckled—an eerie sound, hollow and empty—and then something else fell from his pocket. A knife. I didn’t even have time to react before I saw him press it to his neck. The moment it touched his skin, I felt a sickening wave of terror wash over me.

No.

He didn’t even flinch. His hand was so steady, and his gaze never wavered from me. He wasn’t afraid. Why wasn’t he afraid?

The blood came so quickly. A bright crimson stream splattered across his skin, soaking into his clothes, and I felt my stomach churn. He’s going to die, I thought numbly. He’s going to die, and I’ll be left here alone.

I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t live in a world without him.

And then, in the same breath, I realized something. A horrible truth that gnawed at the edges of my mind, growing louder and louder until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

I had been disappearing.

No one saw me. No one but him.

I’ve been fading away.

Every day, every moment I spent here, I became less and less a part of the world around me. It had started small—people would pass by without acknowledging me, like I was a shadow. But it wasn’t just that. It was the way I was slipping through the cracks of time itself, becoming more and more insubstantial. My voice, my presence—it was as though it didn’t exist.

I’d tried to reach out to people, tried to be noticed, but the more I tried, the more I became invisible. It wasn’t until I met him that I realized the truth. Hoshino was the only one who could see me.

And now, in this moment, I knew why.

If he died, so would I.

I was tethered to him in a way I couldn’t explain. He had become my anchor in a world that had slowly erased me. The world couldn’t see me, couldn’t remember me, but Hoshino—he was the only one who ever truly saw me. And if he left this world, I would disappear too. Forever.

It was all so clear now. And for the first time, I hated it. I hated how powerless I felt, how desperately I was clinging to the last remnants of my existence, only for it to be tied so mercilessly to someone who was breaking apart in front of me.

I looked at him—really looked at him—for the first time in what felt like forever. His white hair fluttered in the wind, his face a mask of indifference, but I saw the emptiness in his eyes. He wasn’t alive anymore, not in the way I understood life.

He was dying. Slowly, painfully. And if he died, I would be left with nothing.

So why am I still here?

I didn’t even have the strength to answer that question. I couldn’t look at him without my insides turning to ash. He was slipping away, and no matter how hard I tried to hold on, I would never be able to stop it.

He moved toward the railings, his steps slow but deliberate. And then, without another word, he jumped.

The world seemed to pause for a moment. Time froze as I watched him fall, his body twisting in the air before it hit the ground with a sickening crack that reverberated through my bones. I screamed his name, my voice breaking, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t reach him in time.

I staggered toward the edge, my feet unsteady, my heart pounding in my chest. The ground seemed so far below me, and yet, it felt like it was rushing up to meet me.

I didn’t even think. My body moved on its own, as if I were a puppet with invisible strings pulling me toward the same fate. I jumped.

The world spun around me, and for a moment, I felt weightless, untethered.

Then, I hit the ground.

Pain exploded through my body, but it was nothing compared to the emptiness that threatened to consume me. I lay there, my limbs twisted beneath me, my vision swimming, but I could still hear the faint sound of Hoshino’s voice echoing in my mind.

And then… nothing.

I don’t know how long I stayed there, drifting in and out of consciousness, but I felt the cold seep into my bones. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. The world was slipping away from me, just as I had slipped away from it.

But then, through the haze, I heard a voice. His voice.

“Hoshino…”

And that was when I understood.

If he died… I would never truly be alive again.

And as I faded into unconsciousness, I realized I would rather die with him than live without him.

[「 THIRD-PERSON VIEWPOINT 」]

The wind hit my face hard as I jumped. Time seemed to stretch, the world around me slowing, as if reality itself was pulling away, giving me a moment to see the truth in its raw, unflinching form. The fall felt endless, my body weightless in the void. Everything was distorted. The snow that had been drifting softly earlier now seemed to float around me like a hazy dream.

And there she was.

Her face appeared, as though it was suspended in the air, suspended in my memory. Her eyes met mine, and for a split second, I saw her smile. A small, gentle smile—when she should have been crying.

Why was she smiling? This wasn’t supposed to be how it ended. I had expected her to be angry, to be afraid, to be in pain, just like me. But that smile, it was so out of place. It shook me more than the fall, more than the cold bite of the wind. It felt like an intrusion on everything that had brought me here.

I couldn’t look away.

The world around me distorted even further, the colors twisting, like the edges of reality itself were fraying. The memories... they came, flooding my mind like a torrent of images, each one jarring and unfamiliar.

I saw myself—fighting. No, not just fighting—struggling against something, against something that had control over me. Strings. Thin, invisible strings that pulled at my limbs, forcing me to move, to dance. I was struggling to break free, but I couldn’t. The fight went on and on, a never-ending battle that I was doomed to lose.

The memories shifted again. Another video, another reality. I saw myself dying—again. My body crumpled to the ground, a lifeless puppet. And then, a billion others, each one different, each one a variation of the same miserable cycle.

In one, I was sacrificing myself for others, giving up everything, and still... nothing changed. In another, I was locked in a cage of endless nightmares, unable to sleep, tormented by the same dreams, the same pain, the same suffering.

There were more. Quintillions. Nonillions. Every version of me, every timeline, every possibility, every outcome. I could see them all, moving in flashes, each one slipping through my fingers like water. My brain struggled to comprehend it all, but I couldn’t stop watching.

But then, something caught my attention. One video stood out—a rare moment amidst the endless chaos.

In it, I saw myself—dying again. But this time... I was smiling. For the first time in countless lifetimes, I was truly happy. It wasn’t a smile of resignation, or one born of defeat. No, it was something else. A true smile. A smile of peace, of freedom. Of release.

And in that fleeting moment, I understood.

I had been searching for this moment. This peace. This truth. Maybe... maybe all of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the endless cycles were leading me to this one truth. That in the end, it wasn’t about surviving. It wasn’t about fighting or struggling or forcing my way through the pain.

It was about letting go.

I couldn’t fight anymore.

The world around me shattered. Cracks spread across the sky, the ground, reality itself. Everything fractured, splintering into a thousand jagged pieces, as if the universe itself was breaking apart in response to the truth that I had seen. The cracks were widening, revealing the raw, endless void behind them.

The images, the memories, the timelines—all of it collapsed. My mind was overwhelmed, and reality came rushing back in a blur, like a dam breaking, everything crashing into place all at once. The slow-motion fall ended, and time sped up again. The world snapped back to its usual pace, and I could feel the crushing weight of the ground rushing toward me.

The last thing I saw before everything went black was the ground—sharp, unforgiving, and close. The final impact sent a shockwave through my body. My skull collided with the earth, the force of it driving a searing pain straight into my head. I felt my bones crack, my brain rattle inside my skull, and everything shattered in a violent, final explosion of agony.

But for a brief, surreal moment before the pain overwhelmed me completely, I smiled.

I was finally free.

And thus,

The world faded into darkness.

[SINGULARITY EXPANSION]

[Something New: Completed]

[Sudden Changes: Completed]

[Daydreams: Completed]

[Delusions: Completed]

[Sanity: Failed]

[Worldline-One: Complete]

...

[Sadomasochist Found]

[Simulating 'sadomasochist'...]

.

.

[sadomasochist completed!]

[Worldlines Complete: 5/5]

[Regressing: Unlocked]

[Possession: Unlocked]

[Reincarnation: Unlocked]

[Transmigration: Unlocked]

[[Genre unlocked]]

[Please select a genre and a theme]

[Error!]

[‘Hoshino’ isn't in the state to chose]

[Going into hibernation until ‘Hoshino’ is awake]

.

.

.

.

.

[Error!]

[‘Hoshino’ is determined to be dead]

[ ‘Hoshino’ is unconscious]

[ ‘Hoshino’ hasn't waked up for two million seconds]

[Auto choosing the genre and theme]

[Genre available:

Fantasy, action,tragedy,adventure, romance, psychological,comedy, boys love, girls love, harem, isekai,horror,mystery ......,....]

[Selecting the most compatible genre]

[Processing.....]

[Tragedy selected]

[Selecting the theme]

[Theme available: Regression,transmigration,reincarnation,possession]

[Selecti—

[Error!]

[ ‘Hoshino’ has no sanity to select theme]

[Error! ‘Hoshino's’ mentality isn't enough]

[Anomaly detected!]

[Emergency defence activated]

[Initializing the Worldline]

[Error!]

[All themes are activated forcibly]

[Timeline set]

[Creating a new multiverse]

[Alternative universes terminated]

[ ‘Hoshino’ — subject now will be transported to a different worldline]

[‘Hoshino's’ past shall be tragic ]

[‘Hoshino's’ present will be despair]

[‘Hoshino's’ host future may be a tragedy]

Maybe I’ll be reborn, reincarnated in some strange world. Or maybe I’ll become a ghost, forever bound to this broken life. But whatever comes next, I can only hope for one thing—peace. An end to the endless questions, the loneliness, the lies.

In the end, whether reality or fantasy, all things fade. Perhaps this is my ending, or maybe it’s just the beginning of another tragedy. But one thing is certain: the darkness will remain, waiting, patient, until this cycle ends.

[ ^_^ ]

No matter what you see, don't believe it. It’ll all be over sooner than you think.

Nothing is real.

its all just an illusion,so real that it makes you question reality.

✧

I opened my eyes to see that I'm still alive.

And soon i found out that hoshino didn't survive.

Only I lived.

But

How can they see me?

Why....?

Hoshino......

Ah.

Tears fell from my eyes.

But

A smile naturally formed on my face.

Why?

Because

It all went according to my plan.

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