One and a half years earlier

“So… you wanted to tell me something, *****?” Grace asked

Melissa held in the urge to wince at hearing her dead name, having to remind herself that her sister didn’t know yet. If all went well, Grace wouldn’t call her that when it was just the two of them anymore. Only when it was the two of them; she didn’t want to tell her mother just yet. That seemed like a recipe for disaster, and something to wait to do when she was finally away in college. She couldn’t wait to go to Champlain – to Burlington – far away from the bible belt and the horrible memories Georgia now gave her.

It was summer time, only a month after she had graduated from high school. Grace had shown up for it, but their mother hadn’t bothered. It didn’t matter that she had straight A’s and was going to a really good tech school. All they ever talked about was how horrible everything was, how the immigrants were taking jobs, and other such things. When they weren’t in front of the tv watching television priests or FOX they were complaining or making food.

They never made any for her or Grace. Melissa doubted they knew she was even here, if it wasn’t for how they had treated her sister when they went off for their first year of college in Michigan. Their mother had called her sister obsessively, telling them they were lonely at home and how much they missed them. When it didn’t work, their mother acknowledged Melissa’s existence and complained that their sister didn’t love either of them and other bullshit. There was no other word for it, because while Grace ignored their mother just like they ignored her, her sister had kept in constant touch with her.

They had quickly realized that their mother didn’t want Grace’s independence. They just wanted a slave to take care of everything; a slave she called her own daughter.

Melissa knew they also would have to deal with it, but that was a problem for then. Right now she needed to figure out the right words to approach this talk with. Coming out was a big deal, and this was the first person she had told in her daily life. First person that wasn’t online, that is; Drew and Melissa were the ones who actually told her she was trans, and they wouldn’t meet in person till college. Either way, she felt that this was too important to mess up.

“So, you know how you learned that you like girls mant year ago?” Melissa asked quietly. Grace gave a nod, her mind having two conclusions thought up for where this was going. “Well, I found out about something similar. It’s called, um… transgender.”

For just a second, Grace’s eyes went wide in shock. It then immediately shifted to a smile as she walked up to Melissa. They sat on their bed, eyes unable to meet Grace in nervousness for what might happen. Instead of angry words or disapproval, she was instead met with a hand being placed on her head. That caused Melissa to look up, finally bearing witness to the pride that filled her sister’s face.

“I see where this is going,” Grace stated as she brought her hand away from Melissa’s head. She kneeled and sat down next to them, the smile never falling off her face. “So, you have a chosen name in mind, sister?”

Melissa felt her heart lighten at the same exact time that her mind went blank in confusion. She had expected several questions, and none had been the question she was first asked. She had prepared even more so for the possibilities of unacceptance or disbelief. Then, her sister sheepishly looked away, giggling at herself. That action only made things more confusing.

“Okay, maybe I went a bit too fast. Sorry about that,” Grave said, rubbing the back of her head. “It’s just… I kind of had a feeling. Was gonna tell you myself once you were finally at college and away from mom,” She let another fit of giggles escape her. “Seems you found out yourself. Congrats.”

“Th-thanks,” Melissa replied. She then took a deep breath, then allowed herself to slump forward. “Damn it. I was worried for nothing.”

“For nothing? Girl you have every reason to worry,” Grace told her, smiling lessening as she leaned back. Melissa felt a smile dare to enter her face as she was referred to as a girl. “I mean, you saw how mom took me being a lesbian. Can’t believe the bitch tried to force me into going to a conversion therapist.”

Melissa winced as she recalled the events. She was used to her mother yelling at them, but that event had been far worse than normal. Melissa remembered having retreated to her room in the middle of it. The screams got worse between Grace and their mother as the former defended herself. If Grace had been affected by the slurs and insults thrown at her, her voice never showed it.

“That’s why I wanted to just tell you. My friends said you would be okay with it when I told them you were lesbian but…,” Melissa hesitated to continue, biting her lip. She looked at her sister with a pleading look. “Please don’t tell mom. Please, please, please.”

Grace’s heart sunk at the sight before her. She was used to the snarky sarcastic sister that she has grown up with, not a scared child. A protective urge kicked in, wrapping her arms around Melissa and holding them close. A weird combination of a smile and frown graced her face, rubbing Melissa’s back. Her eyes darted to the door for a moment, just in case it opened up. Thankfully, it never did.

“Your secret shall not be known to her,” Grace assured her sister, her voice quiet just to be extra sure. There was always the slight chance mom was outside the room, and she couldn’t let them hear her. “I’m happy for you, figuring this all out. I might not understand gender dysphoria myself, but I heard how it makes people.”

“Yeah. I… I really hate this version of me,” Melissa said. It felt odd to talk so openly about her dysphoria, but there was also a comfort in it. “I hate this beard that barely exists, I hate how I can see my ribs on my chest, and I hate that freaking stick attached to my lower body. It feels so… patchworked on, I guess.”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Are you planning on starting your transition as soon as you're at college?” Grace asked. She got a near immediate nod for a response. “Guessing that means the two of us won’t be coming back here next summer. You already got a place to stay?”

“A friend, Lucy, has a home in Burlington. She said we could stay there during the summer,” Melissa explained. She watched her sister’s expression shift into nervousness, clutching the back of her shirt tightly. “I know it is a gamble staying with someone I’ve talked to online, but I likely won’t be able to hide the changes by then. If it isn’t the bodily changes she’ll see the pills. I don’t want to take any chances.”

“Just know you’re welcome at my place if things with your friend goes sour,” Grace told her. Melissa gave a nod as her sister got up from her bed. She took a few steps, spun around, then placed her hands on her hips. “Anyways, you wanna give your new gender’s fashion a try? I know it will be a little short on you, or that my style is possibly not your style, but as long as we lock the door to keep mom out it should be fine.”

Melissa’s eyes went wide, having to do everything in her power to not scream yes, the only thing stopping her being her inner thoughts. A feeling of discomfort, of fear, hid inside at the thought of trying them on. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to or felt it wasn’t right, but because her mind was doing her best to convince her she was wrong. A single thread of thread and doubt had been placed the moment she had learned of her gender identity, constantly asking her if she was wrong; if she was fooling herself.

“I, um, I don’t know,” Melissa finally answered. “I mean, I’m still figuring things out and it is completely possible I–“

“Sis, stop listening to your brain for a moment,” Grace said, leaning in and snapping her fingers in front of Melissa. They flinched and leaned back a bit in response. “Every time I’ve called you sis or girl a smile has tried to work its way onto your face. You want this, so why not give it a try,” She brought her hand and face away from her sister, giving a confident look to her sibling. “If you need, just wear it in my closet. That way you are the only one who sees it.”

Melissa turned her head to the right, allowed herself to think for a moment, and then turned back to Grace. “Yeah. Sure. Oh, and it’s Melissa now, to answer your earlier question.”

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Grace had pulled out a variety of shirts, dresses, skirts, and otherwise for Melissa. Afterwards she stepped to the side and allowed them to choose whatever they wanted to try. She then stood to the side and watched her sister reach for something, only to recoil in self-doubt, holding in the urge to sigh. The same dance played out again and again, putting not a single article of clothes into Melissa’s hands. It quickly got tiring, and in an attempt to both stop the dance and help her sister, Grace personally put anything Melissa showed interest in in her arms.

That shortened what had been a long first few minutes of choosing rather substantially. From there, Grace made room for Melissa to change in the closet, allowing them to enter and close it. To help make it feel even less like they were being watched, Grace turned her back to the closet door. It did not take her long to notice the irony of helping her sister come out by putting her in a closet. Irony that elicited a snort of amusement from the goth.

“Okay, it’s on,” Melissa called from the closet.

Grace turned around, hiding her goody smile with her hand just in case Melissa saw her through the door.

“So? How do you feel?” Grace asked.

“I… I like it. I really like it,” Melissa replied from the closet. Grace immediately took notice of a lightness in her sister’s voice that had never been there previously. “I think I’m okay showing you how I look.”

Grace sat down on her bed as Melissa opened up the closet, the former’s eyes lighting up. She knew she had seen something, and seeing feminine clothes on her sibling more than proved it. Before her stood a girl wearing a black tank top, long black skirt, long white thigh high socks, and a face red in both joy and embarrassment. A piece of her mind told her that the body didn’t suit the clothing, but she shoved it into the recess of her mind where it couldn’t see light. It was at that very moment that everything else had solidified what she had believed since discovering her sexual identity a couple years prior.

A young woman, showing a rare vulnerability and awkwardness that Grace had never seen in her entire life.

“How do you feel, Melissa?” She asked.

“I… I’m not sure how to describe it,” Melissa said, gripping the bottom of her skirt and wearing a small smile. “It’s like… like I’m happy for the first time in my life, perhaps? I’m not sure. I’ve felt happy before when playing games or hanging out with you or Drew and Melissa but this happiness feels different. I feel, I don’t know, alive?” She chuckled nervously, shoulders raised and head low. “Does any of that even make sense?”

“That’s gender euphoria, sis,” Grace told her, standing up. She walked over and placed a finger over where her sister’s heart – and one of her future breasts – would be. “You feel happy about yourself here now, and in time will hopefully turn to the rest of you when you transition more and more.”

Melissa’s smile ever-so-slightly grew, placing a hand where her sister had pointed. “I like the sound of that.”

Then, the expression of joy that had started to overtake all Melissa disappeared. Grace watched in confusion as a grimace took its place, her sister’s hands falling away from her chest to the front of her skirt. Melissa gripped it tight as she hung her head in despair, and that was all Grace needed to figure out what was going on. The happiness on her face fell away, the high school years she spent trying to fool herself into thinking she was straight made her familiar with how a man’s body worked. Now, those very workings were harming her sister’s own ability to enjoy the tiny amount of the real her that had been showing.

“I’m so sorry, Melli,” Grace said, placing her hand once more on her sister’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine how you’ve about it all.”

“It’s fine, I can deal with it,” Melissa replied, shaking her head. “It’s for, what, a couple more months? Not sure how soon I can get bottom surgery, but when it is possible I want it.”

“Then go for it. You're an adult now; the only thing holding you back is that bitch daring to call herself a mom,” Grace reminded her. She took a few steps, examining the outfit her sister had put on once again. She gave a nod of approval. “Looking forward to seeing the real you come out. Wanna hold onto this for then? I’ll sneak it and perhaps some other stuff into your suitcase when you are heading up.”

Melissa considered the offer for a few seconds, and felt the earlier joy her own body had tried to destroy creep back. She stomped her foot to hype herself up, put on a fake smirk, and brought her hands away from the skirt she was wearing. That was followed up by giving a firm nod to Grace a thumbs up. Her sister relaxed, deciding the protective shell of confidence wasn’t worth breaking. She had already cracked the egg she had wanted, after all.

“Sounds good. Just know I might want to try on more stuff when I get the chance,” Melissa said. Grace smirked back at her and gave a nod of her own.