I have never drank before, but I was two drinks deep when Marcus approached me. After the freshman meeting, Liv convinced me to come to one of the frat parties and I willingly agreed.

"Zora, right?" He said to me, holding his beer. Liv and I were talking to some of her art friends when he approached our group. I turn around and smile at him. He wasn't ugly by any means, but I have never really been attracted to a boy before. I have found myself more attracted to girls, but I have yet to figure out if it's because I think they're pretty or if it's a "I want to be with them" attraction. I studied Marcus's features. He is about six foot two, has brown hair and brown eyes, with an eyebrow piercing. He has a half sleeve on his right forearm that looks like it has snakes, skulls, and flowers. I will say having an eyebrow piercing and tattoos definitely gives him some brownie points.

"Yes," I say with a smile. His eyes immediately went to my breasts and I know I should be disgusted but instead I'm flattered that a boy is finally giving me the time of day.

"Can I get you another drink?" He offers and downs the rest of his beer.

"Sure. I'll come with you," I say as I follow him through the crowd and into the kitchen. Marcus seems nice but I would never trust a man with my drink. He grabs another beer out of the fridge and I search for the vodka to pour into my red solo cup.

"Here you go. Are you drinking it straight?" Marcus says, handing me the bottle of vodka. "If you did, you'd be a badass. Vodka by itself tastes awful."

I chuckle as I reach for the cranberry juice. "Of course not. I have never drank before tonight and I'm not ready to start downing shots."

Marcus laughs as he uses his shirt to take the lid off his beer. "Fair enough."

"Do you live here?" I ask, taking a drink. I make a face and realize I added too much vodka this time.

"No. I am a part of the frat but I live in an apartment with two of my football teammates." And he plays football? He would be every girl's dream guy. "You're on the hockey team right?"

"I am. This is my first year."

"Can I show you something?"

I feel like I should know where this is going, but I'm intrigued nonetheless.

"Sure," I say. Marcus starts to walk back the way we came, turning around to make sure I'm following. We make our way to the steps and I see Liv raising her eyebrows at me. I look to my right and see Genevieve and Reya. Reya is shooting me daggers, but I don't pay her any mind.

"Don't worry. I'm not trying to have sex with you," Marcus says as he leads me up the stairs. "Unless that is something you're interested in."

I could tell he was saying it as a joke but a part of me wouldn't mind losing my virginity to Marcus. I mean what are the odds of me seeing him again? We play different sports and I just met him tonight.

"So you're offering?" I say suddenly feeling flirty and I know that means the alcohol is hitting. A part of me just wants to get my first time over with, but the other part of me wants to make sure it feels right.

"Depends. Are you interested?" Marcus says as he turns around and looks slightly shocked.

"Maybe, but first, what do you have to show me?"

Marcus turns back to face the stairs as we reach the top. He has us turn left and he opens a bedroom door. I look and see a bed, and random decor items hanging up and on a dresser including a signed hockey puck in a case. I wonder whose room this is, but I don't care enough to ask

"My dad used to be really big into hockey before he passed away. He went to a hockey game in New York and got this signed puck. I figured you would find it interesting since you play hockey and are from New York. Liv told me that, I wasn't stalking you," Marcus says as he rubs the back of his neck and then he lets out a nervous laugh. Am I making a boy nervous? No way this is happening. "I'm sorry. I realize how dumb I sound."

"You don't sound dumb. Thank you for sharing this with me and I'm sorry about your dad," I say as I put my cup down and gently grab his face to look at me. He looks into my eyes and leans in for a kiss. I kiss him back as I grab his beer and sit it next to my drink. I move my hands to his face and hold it while we kiss. He backs up moving us toward the bed as he turns us around so now my back is against the bed. I move my body to lay down on the bed with him on top of me. Does this feel right? I think to myself.

"Is this okay?" Marcus asks, sitting up and breaking our kiss.

"Yes," I say in a whisper as I sit up to reach my hands up to pull off his shirt revealing more tattoos on his chest and stomach. I run my hands across the outlines of his tattoos. He takes off my shirt to reveal a red lace bra.

"You're very pretty," He says. I pull his face closer to mine to resume our kiss.

"Less talking, more doing," I say, feeling impatient. I am trying to calm my nerves and my heart that is threatening to beat out of my chest. This is really happening. My first time. Does this feel right? I ask myself again.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Marcus moves his hands behind my back to unclasp my bra and I move my hands to unzip his jeans. He takes his jeans the rest of the way off as I work on getting my skirt off. Marcus looks at my body with lust in his eyes as he pulls down my underwear and I see his erection poking through his black boxers.

"Still okay?" He asks.

"Yes," I replied. I lay on my back as Marcus climbs on top of me gently moving my head to the side to plant kisses on my neck. He moves down from my neck to my breasts and suddenly this feels wrong. I start to feel anxious and like something is off. This does not feel right.

"Stop," I say to Marcus and with more urgency than I had anticipated. He immediately stops and moves to sit next to me.

"Are you okay?" Did I do something wrong?" Marcus asks, looking at me concerned.

"No, no. I just... I don't know. It all just started to feel wrong."

Marcus looks at me confused. "That's okay. We don't have to continue any further."

"Thank you," I say as Marcus reaches for my clothes to hand to me. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Marcus says as he puts his jeans back on.

"I don't know," I say feeling small and wishing I was anywhere but here.

Marcus grabs his shirt and sits next to me again, looking at me. "You felt uncomfortable and you voiced that. Never apologize for that and if any guy or girl makes you feel bad for speaking up then they're a piece of shit."

"Thank you," I say, feeling a bit better, although I feel extremely embarrassed.

"I have to ask though," Marcus says and then he hesitates. I feel like I already know what he was going to ask. "Was this going to be your first time?"

I sit in silence for a moment giving him his answer. I didn't plan on telling him this was my first time and I know that's shitty of me.

"I wish you would have told me so I could've made you feel more comfortable."

I think about my response before I say anything, but I guess I didn't think about it enough because I blurt, "You didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I think you being a guy is what made it feel wrong." Damn, Zora. What was that? I think to myself. My sexuality was something I had always avoided thinking about and here I am telling this random guy I was about to have sex with that I think I'm gay. Marcus looks like I just told him the worst thing in the world.

"Oh," Marcus says. I know he doesn't know what to say, because what do you say to that? I am feeling more embarrassed than I did before and just want out of this room. "That's okay. At least now you know right?" This is so awkward and embarrassing. "Um, you want to go back downstairs?"

I resist the urge to jump up and run out of this room, and instead I just nod. Marcus grabs his beer and my drink and hands it to me. We walk downstairs and back into the living room where I see Liv arguing with Reya. Oh no this can't be good. Marcus and I exchange a look knowing that whatever is happening between them is something bad. I love Liv, but she has a very short temper and will say whatever she wants without giving a fuck about how someone feels about it.

"You're just mad that Marcus got bored with you and wanted to be with someone new," Liv says to Reya. Marcus immediately jumps in between them and tells them to stop. I rush over to Liv and tell her we should go.

"Oh there you two are, how was your fuck sesh?" Reya says. I smell the alcohol on her breath and know she has clearly had too much to drink.

"I didn't have sex with her," Marcus says. I am secretly praying that he doesn't out me to everyone.

"Oh you didn't? I don't believe you. You will literally fuck anything that walks on this campus."

"Well apparently not her," Marcus replies. Ouch, was that an insult?

"Liv, let it go. Let Marcus handle it. Let's go home," I say, trying to calm Liv down as Marcus and Reya continue to argue. Liv finally listens to me as I lead her to the front door. We walked here instead of driving since we knew we would be drinking and it was just two streets from us.

"You lost your virginity. That's crazy," Liv says when we leave the house and begin our walk home.

"I didn't have sex with him," I say, keeping my eyes on the street in front of us instead of looking at Liv.

"What?" She says as she stops walking. "What happened?"

"I stopped him," I say, not slowing my steps.

"Why?"

"Because I'm gay!" I blurt out. I stop walking and know Liv hasn't walked any further and I can just picture the look of shock on her face.

"What?" She says again.

I sigh. I made my bed and now I must lay in it. "I knew since my freshman year of high school that I wasn't straight but never explored my sexuality because I was scared. It felt wrong with Marcus so I stopped him. I blurted out that him being a guy is what felt wrong."

"Damn," Liv says. "Well at least now you know."

"That's what Marcus said too. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Liv and I continued walking home in silence.

✰ ✰ ✰

"Zora!" Liv calls from down the hallway. "Zora, wake up!" I hear her voice getting closer to my room. "Zora!" my bedroom door then opens.

"What?" I say rolling over in bed to face her.

"You have been posted on the UVM Gossips page."

"What?" I say quickly sitting up in bed. A UVM gossip page?

"Don't worry. It's not about you being gay," Liv says as she passes me her computer. I shoot her a look as if that makes it any better. I put on my glasses and grab her computer to read.

Did freshman and hockey player Zora Brown have a fun night with senior and football player Marcus Adams at the first party of the semester?

Posted is a picture of Marcus and I walking up the stairs.. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is not good. I just joined the hockey team and I'm already a part of a college scandal?

"Shit. Who runs this account?"

"No one knows. It's some random college student. People send things in and he posts them," Liv says, taking her computer back. Reya. She was shooting daggers at me when she saw me with Marcus. I bet she sent in the picture to whoever runs the account.

"Were Marcus and Reya ever a thing?" I ask.

"Kinda. They have been friends with benefits on and off since my freshmen year. Why do you think Reya has something to do with it?"

"Maybe. She was shooting daggers at me last night when she saw me with Marcus. We originally went upstairs because he wanted to show me a signed hockey puck his dad got before his dad died."

"Hmm, then maybe. I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone gets posted at least once."

"Yeah but I just joined the hockey team."

"Well just hope that word doesn't get out to your coach."

I sigh. I don't really know what to do. I mean what can I do? It's already posted with an anonymous person running the account and I'm sure that even if I had a way to take it down, plenty of people have already seen it.

"Good luck on the calculus test today," Liv says as she grabs her computer and walks out of my room. Shit, I had completely forgotten about my calculus test. I quickly get dressed and head to campus to review my notes before class. I know I told myself I didn't need to study, but I need a win today. I don't have physics today and I am grateful for that.