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Besieged [HIATUS]
Chapter 54: Grief

Chapter 54: Grief

The world goes completely silent except for Mike's cries. He screams and howls with so much grief. I myself can't make a sound, holding onto Pops's hand and squeezing it every so often.

I pray, hoping against hope that he'll squeeze back. That it's all a farce, that life will magically return to him and he'll be fine. That he'll laugh his usual laugh and make fun of us with his usual grin before ruffling our hair.

But it doesn't happen. His hand grows cold in mine, and his face ever so slowly loses its color. I close my eyes and turn away, I can't look at him. Can't bring myself to see the man like this.

I don't want this pale, ghastly face to be the last image I have of him. I want to remember his smiles, his laughter, his warmth.

I want to remember the man that raised me, not the sacrifice he had to make.

All around us, the others keep their distance. The atmosphere is heavy, making me feel like I'm drowning as my head spins. It's as if I'm both here and not here, an outsider looking in on someone else's tragedy.

A little distance away, Derek talks to Polly in hushed whispers. The parrot's broken wing hasn't mended yet, so it climbs on Derek's shoulders. I can make out the moment when Jessica cuts the connection by the change in the bird's demeanor.

Emily is still where I threw her off, knees pushed into her chest and her hands holding the hood tight over her face. She's crying, her whole body trembling as she heaves with quiet sobs.

It's too much, all of it is too damn much.

Carter is the first one that finds enough courage to approach us.

“Jack?”

“Go,” I say. “The fight isn't over yet, the guys in the safe zone could probably use your help.”

“Okay.”

Before they leave, I get all of them to give me any food they have. I sit up, my back to Pops and Mike, and I force myself to eat in order to heal. It doesn't go down easily, catching in the lump in my throat.

When everyone but us is gone, I turn to Mike.

“Go into those houses. See if you can find bed sheets. We have to bring everyone back.”

He nods, swallowing another sob as he climbs to his feet. Then he’s off, leaving only me, Luna, and a little distance away, Emily. The puppy tries to lick and nuzzle me with her snout, but I gently push her away.

She whines and, with her tail between her legs, she goes over to Emily to curl around her.

I keep eating in silence until the healing fatigue goes away and my body starts repairing the damage. The last strip of meat drops from my hand, and I turn my eyes to the night sky as reality starts to sink in.

We really did just lose Pops.

“Why? God damn you, old man, why’d you do that?”

To save everyone, Pops doesn’t answer. To save you.

“Yeah, well, all you did was leave us!” I yell, flipping around to face his body. “You left me! You left Mike! You left Mom! What the fuck do you think she’ll say, do you think she’ll be grateful?!”

Emily looks up from her knees with worry. Some distance away, Mike barges out of one of the houses, stopping in the doorway. I rise on unsteady legs.

“We needed you! We still need you, I still need you!” I lean down, grab the scruff of his torn shirt, and I start shaking him. “So you better come back right fucking now, you hear me?! I can’t go the rest of my life without you!”

Mike runs over and takes my hands, trying to untangle my fingers from the shirt.

“Jack,” he pleads, “come on, man.”

“Why?” Is all I can say.

I just repeat that question, over and over again, as I let go. Mike guides me away and, the moment he lets go of my hands, I drop on my ass.

“Just stay here, okay?” He says softly. “Let me handle the rest.”

A feeble nod is all I can manage.

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Over the course of the next few minutes, Mike goes around to gather the dead. He starts with Pops, laying a bed sheet next to him and rolling the body onto it. He ties the sheet at both ends, kneels next to it for a moment in silent prayer, and then he moves on.

He repeats the process for the other fallen fighters, and Emily gets up to help him. I watch the two of them work, wanting nothing more than to sink into the ground. To disappear until the pain and heartache stop.

But the world isn’t kind enough to allow me that. With the boss gone, some of its minions retreat from the safe zone. A steady trickle of monsters start coming our way, and I have to get up and fight. Mike can't do it since he doesn't have a combat class, and Emily is all out of arrows.

I’m half healed at best and I don’t have my main weapon anymore, but I don’t care. I walk up to the first monster as it charges at me, and in a swift motion, I grab its snout with one hand. I punch it with the other, the blow hard enough to split its skull like a watermelon.

A few others try to jump me, but I dodge them effortlessly. Each monster gets one punch or kick, all of them killing blows.

I still feel loopy, but something is definitely wrong. I shouldn’t be this strong. After I make sure the area is clear, I go into the notification folder.

A wave boss has fallen.

The credit for the kill goes to Jack Harrington.

The minions under the wave boss’s command are in disarray. Wave 3 out of 3 has ended.

Local Event Update: Monster Siege #1.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

All of the bosses have fallen. Their deaths mark the end of the siege. Without their presence, any monsters left within your Bastion’s borders will attempt to flee and hide.

Quest Update: Survive The Siege.

Congratulations! Through the sweat, blood, and tears of its community, Stelver has survived the first of many sieges. While many lives have been lost, those who remain are that much stronger. Go forth to rebuild and fortify.

Calculating rewards…

Most monsters killed: Jack Harrington has killed a total of 3813 monsters.

Rewards: +190650 experience; +55000 System credits.

Most bosses killed: Jack Harrington has killed a total of 3 bosses.

Rewards: +120000 experience; +90000 System credits.

Most proactive defender: Jack Harrington has contributed to ending 3 waves.

Rewards: +60000 experience; +60000 System credits.

Unique Rewards: +1 Bastion Core.

Title unlocked: Champion of Stelver.

Quest Added: Install the Core.

Check your “quests” tab for additional details.

Quest Added: Stragglers.

Check your “quests” tab for additional details.

That explains it. The experience from the quest was enough to push me to level up a few times. I don't go into my attributes tab to see exactly how many, I don't want to know the details right now.

I just focus on killing the monsters to vent some anger.

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Mike is done a few minutes later. He stacks the wrapped bodies on Luna's back, but the puppy can't hold all of them. He ends up carrying Pops's body himself.

I don't bring up the fact that we could've pulled them into our inventories for easier transport. It feels too disrespectful to the people that gave their lives for our safety.

I'm fully healed by now, so he comes over slowly, nodding towards the safe zone in the distance.

“Let me—” I start, but Mike interrupts me.

“I can do it. You need your hands free to protect us.”

I don't like it. Pops died because of me, because of my weakness, so I feel like I owe him at least this much. But Mike is right, I need to be able to protect them.

We start walking with me at the front, Mike closely behind, and Luna bringing up the rear. As we pass Emily, she doesn't move to get by my side. She gives me a quick look, then she averts her eyes.

“Emily?”

“I’m sorry.”

Damn right you should be, I think, but I don’t say it. The sight of her fills me with conflicting emotions — I feel sorry for her, I still like her, but I also hate her with a passion right now.

Both her and Jessica, for holding me down like that. For stopping me from dying. I look back to Mike — to Pops’s corpse in his arms — and all I can think is that should’ve been me.

“You coming?” I say instead.

Emily nods timidly and starts walking with us, but she still won’t look at me.

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The trek back to the safe zone is both the shortest and longest distance in my life. We pass through gore filled trenches and over demolished walls, encountering mostly dead monsters.

I kick the corpses aside as I advance, making room for the others. Or that's what I tell myself, at least. In reality, I'm just brimming with anger towards the monsters.

We leave the no man's land behind us as we reach the streets inside the main wall, but it doesn't look much different in here. Some torn down houses, craters, lawns bathed in red. More corpses litter the roads — mostly monsters, but as we near the central hold, we start seeing humans mixed in as well.

I recognize some of them, but the majority are too mutilated to tell any details.

The sounds of gunshots and skills still ring out every so often, but it's nothing like during the wave. They have this. It's finally over.

The central hold comes into view, and we start coming across live people. Both fighters and non combatants go around to collect the dead and wounded. The walls of the hold have clearly seen a lot of action, full of both shallow scratches and deep cuts. A thirty foot portion is missing, the logs strewn everywhere, but the hole is plugged with dead monsters.

People recognize us and start gathering as we approach, but no one’s in the mood to celebrate. We get a few head nods here and there, and that’s about it.

Mom and Jessica appear out of the crowd, propped into each other as they push their way to the front. Their eyes are red and puffy from crying, making me wonder if Jessica already told Mom what happened.

Mom’s change of expression when she spots us confirms it. Her face pales and she comes to an abrupt stop, nearly tripping Jessica.

“Jack? Mike? Is it true?” Mom asks.

Her head whips from side to side, scanning every which way for Pops as if she’s not yet convinced.

We don't answer. I try to push the words out, but they cling to my tongue and refuse to leave my mouth. Mike steps out from behind me, holding the wrapped body in his arms.

“It’s true,” he chokes out.

Mom freezes, and for a brief moment, the world goes completely silent. She looks at the body in Mike’s arms as a range of emotions flash across her face. Denial, hope, horror, and finally, realization.

This really is happening, her eyes say. She starts walking towards us, her legs unsteady. Jessica follows her, hands around her shoulders to prop her up. I watch, unmoving, as the ocean of emotions swirls in my head.

Anger towards myself, for being so weak and needing Pops to sacrifice himself. The feeling of inadequacy, that I’m not the one on Mom’s side to soothe her. And above all, a hatred of Jessica, of her audacity.

How dare she cry? How dare she try to be here for Mom, to comfort her, when she’s partly at fault for Pops’s death?

Her and Emily both, I can’t stand the sight of them right now. It’s all I can do not to explode on them, to not let the anger out as Jessica and Mom walk closer.

“I…I want to see him,” Mom whispers.

Mike brings Pops’s body closer and lowers it gently to the ground. He undoes the knot in the sheet and pulls it back just enough to reveal Pops’s face.

I avert my eyes, not daring to look.

Jessica lets go of Mom as she takes a shaky step, then another one, and she falls to her knees next to Pops.

“Thomas. Honey,” she cries softly, her voice barely a whisper.

She lowers herself closer to Pops, burying her face in his chest as she starts crying. Mike does his best to be there for her, to console her, but I take a step back. The world spins all over again and I don’t trust my knees.

Jessica approaches me slowly, cautiously, her eyes on the ground in front of her. She stops a few feet away, not saying anything. She just hugs herself as she watches Mom cry.

I bite my tongue to stop myself from hurling abuse at her. The air between us is tense, and we both fester in it for a long minute.

Jessica is the first to talk. She swallows drily, turns to me, and with her eyes still on her feet, she whispers, “I’m sorry.”

I take a deep breath, clenching and unclenching my fists. The rage roils in my head, drowning my brain. I need her gone before I do something I won’t be able to take back.

“Leave,” I whisper. “Give me some space for a bit. I need to process things.”

Jessica nods.

“And take Emily with you as well. I don’t trust myself around either one of you right now.”

Hearing that, Emily is instantly by my side. She grabs and tugs my arm with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Don’t leave me, I’m sorry.”

I jerk my arm free from her grip before I answer. “I’m not leaving either one of you. But you two aren’t my favorite people right now, Emily. So just…go. Until morning. Eat, sleep, do whatever. I don’t care. Just give me some time alone.”

She reaches out for me again, but Jessica steps in and takes her hands. They walk away together, Emily looking over her shoulder at me the entire time. I watch them go, not saying anything.