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Being Undead
Chapter 18 - River

Chapter 18 - River

'How do I keep Cera alive?'

This is the question I'm currently meditating over as Death sits nearby on her throne.

Coping out is not an option. I don't want Cera to die. Whether it be guilt from what I've done, whether it be my fault that she died in the first place, I can't just let her die. That is not going to be allowed.

'Cool dude, nice resolve. Now how the FUCK are you gonna do it?'

Even Death doesn't know how to help my situation....what can I do? Is there anything I can do? No, no, that's not the way to think. I gotta stay positive, and consider the possibilities. Before that, I should probably go about what I know..

Cera is draining my death energy. I can't sustain it and will eventually 'die'. Death doesn't have any advice. That's the situation.

My knowledge over death energy is limited as well, but I might as well do a check on what I know about it. Especially since it's the only thing that could change the situation.

My control over the energy is leaps and bounds what it was when I first died, but only compared to then. The ease of use shown by the necromancer, lich, and Death herself who puts those two to shame, shows me how lacking I am.

It'll be best to ignore Death, however, since her control over death energy is entirely natural. For myself it's a learning experience.

What I've learned is that death in a sense has a will of it's own. 'In a sense' because it's very limited, trying to do only one thing, and that's to leave the body and dissipate back into the world. This isn't always the case, my own existence an example. That ties into something else I learned about death energy though. 

Secondary to disippation is possession. As in to possess a vessel. Also known as, the zombie.

The reasons for these two things, far as I can surmise, is because of what death energy is, which is the accumulation of 'life'. Confusing but it's like this.

The older you are, the more likely you are to die. Thus, you possess more death energy. The reasoning for that, I could not tell you. But for whatever reason the built up energy leaves the body upon death and dissipates. Most of the time. It's my theory that the energy sometimes tries to re-enter the body or one nearby, the death not fully taken effect on the energy. This would explain why it's more likely to find zombies where fresh death has been found over ancient graves.

There's definitely more to it, and I'm probably wrong on a lot of it, but it boils down to these two things. Death leaves the body, or death inhabits the body.

For myself who produces death energy and does not lose it, I would say my situation is the latter. Most definitely because of Death's influence.

Could I reproduce whatever she did to me? Maybe? Probably not?

I haven't a clue how much effort it took her to do it, but anchoring the energy to my soul and to even set up a connection from her to my own soul, doesn't sound simple to do, for myself at least.

Asking her how is not possible either, since her use of death is entirely intuitive, since it's basically a part of her.

Wait, why does my soul only produce a little amount of death?

What actually dictates the amount my soul produces?

With these questions, I look to Death.

"Why does my soul produce such a low amount of death?"

A smirk takes up half of her lips, before she responds.

"The amount depends on how immersed your soul is in death."

"Isn't my soul already immersed in death?"

Death laughs with such sultry vigor that I'm inclined to give up on it all. But that'd be counter-intuitive since she's asked me to do things for her...

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

"Your soul has barely been sprinkled. Oh? You continue to look confused? Ah, I see, you think that just because your soul is surrounded by death that it is immersed. That's not what I mean. I mean you must be covered, on a battlefield surrounded by death, amongst the sick and dying, as fires burn and water drown, you must be immersed in these situations of death. For you who's only been apart of a few village slaughters and one sided battles? You're not even damp."

And here I thought I had taken part in some true combat...or maybe Death likes the idea of a lot of people dying? Who knows?

"This is the Underworld isn't it? There has to be way for me to bathe my soul in death here."

To my statement Death grimaced, and a silence hung between us. Minutes seemed to pass.

"There is..."

The two words were nigh inaudible but I heard them.

"Then, to be able to ensure Cera lives, I must immerse my soul in death."

"Gawh! You fool, you would expect a person to realize the heavyness behind something when someone is quiet after a bout of silence. There is a way, but it's dangerous, and could very well cost you your own soul."

"What are these dangers then? I don't fear to face them."

"I don't know."

"What, then how do you know I could lose my soul?"

"Because I do. I'm Death. I know things."

The pout she performed was beyond magnificient but it didn't stop my confusion at her unfair answer.

"If you can't answer then tell me how, then!"

Raising my voice instantly proved to be the wrong move, as Death's face turned ugly. Still beautiful, despite the anger that spilled forth. Everything that could freeze about me, my movements, thoughts, even my soul, found itself unable to move.

"You're forgetting that you are under my command. And I say something, you are to listen and obey. And I say it's too dangerous. If you must know why, it's because I don't know. And that's why. It's not something ever attempted before since you're my first champion. The unknown dangers are too numerous for me to risk you..."

Her face lightens as a sigh escapes her lips. Control over myself gradually returns as her anger wanes.

"May I atleast know what it is that I could do?" I whisper this out resignedly.

A grimacing smile floats onto Death's face.

"It is to soak your soul into the river of the dead, like literal bathing minus the water being death. The dangers of doing this, I do not know. But I do know that there are dangers. How could there not be? You're putting your soul into the currents of a river that's brimming with death and emotion."

"Emotion?" I ask confused. I did not know death energy had emotion.

"Death energy contains within it emotion, mainly about how the person who died felt about their death. The ever present wails and laughs you hear are these emotions, people happy to die and those who regret their deaths, their reasons innumerable. Though there are some popular choices..."

Reminded about the background noises, having always thought them to be just ambience. Sure, it's the Underworld, but all I've seen is the hallway and the throne room. I don't actually know much else.

"What can emotion do to bring me harm?"

"Possibly latch on to you, drag you along until you lose your sense of self and become just another drop in the never-ending river."

"I-I thought you said you didn't know the dangers..."

Laughter erupted from Death as her arms held her sides. After a moment more she wiped tears from her eyes as she answered.

"I said possibly. Besides that, I've always wondered what'd happen to a soul if they were dipped in there ever since I made you my champion. My thoughts haven't been very welcoming of the idea as time went along."

A light-hearted mood came across the room, as the beautiful Death regained herself to be cheerful.

"That said..."

I do not know if it was the glint of defiance that remained in my eye. In my posture. Or if she could see it in my very soul. But her next words let me know that she saw something that gave her a sense of confidence.

"...with my help, it might not be as dangerous as I thought."

__________

A river? The sight before me is more like a lake, the other end barely visible on the horizon. If not for the flowing grey, bespeckled with human like faces, amongst other races, I would call it a lake.

"So you said with your help, it won't be as dangerous? How is this gonna work?"

With confidence visible in every step she's taken since we began to walk here, Death has been very exuberant. I'm positive she could've just teleported us here, but she looked positively glowing whenever she showed off an interesting sight. I think I'm the first person she's ever shown off the Underworld to, at least not someone who's just moved in. The things she showed me ranged from majestic bone mountains to intriguing creatures who didn't produce any undulations of death, as though they weren't even alive.

"It's simple, really. By using my connection to you, I'll anchor you as you soak in the river."

It really was simple. Simple is good, so there's no reason to complain.

Gazing at the river, it didn't feel as simple as it sounded though. But this would let me keep Cera alive, and make me stronger at the same time. Risks are always present, and it's not often you have Death herself helping you.

'Still, it's a river of death! If I wasn't such a courageous fellow, risking life, limb, and soul! I would not do this.'

But I am a courageous fellow. A hero, a shining beacon of light amidst death and carnage!

Okay those aren't actually true. I still prefer the idea of a cushy lifestyle, but things happen and you're on a quest given by Death herself, you find yourself given a chance at redemption for actions left unsaid, and the solution is to jump into a river of death. Life, it's a bitch. 

Well, no use waiting. With a thumbs up from Death, I prepare to take the plunge.

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