The sun was climbing high in the sky when the northern coast came into view. Rikashe hovered above the golden sand and recreated his vessel. Amerusén, Ara, Vorius, Etrae, and Réala landed nearby and remade their vessels.

Rikashe indicated the ocean with a sweep of his hand. “Has anyone looked in there?”

“No.” Amerusén stared at the vast body of water. It lapped at the shore, rushed around outcroppings of rock, and pooled in depressions between boulders. The sunlight sparkled on the water, igniting the crests of the waves with gold and white fire as the breeze and tides stirred the surface.

“I wonder what it feels like?” Vorius wondered, stepping across the sand, amused by the tiny grains getting stuck between his toes.

“It’s water, so I’d imagine it feels wet,” Rikashe quipped distractedly, turning over a large rock near the waterline and watching several small crabs scuttle away. Grabbing a crab and crushing it between his fingers, he became aware Amerusén’s attention was focussed on him. Watching the releases Déllir drift away across the beach, he realised his mistake. Continuing to uncover crabs and worms, he began preparing answers to the questions being pushed to the front of Amerusén’s mind by his surging suspicion.

Rikashe yelped when Vorius collided with him, sending both of them tumbling into the shallow water.

“You said nothing about it being cold,” Vorius griped, scrambling to his feet, watching the water run down the smooth surface of his softly glowing vessel.

“I didn’t know what cold was, but thank you for teaching me,” Rikashe replied wryly, glaring at Vorius while the concept of temperature rippled through the Amerusai.

Vorius grinned and lunged at him. Rikashe avoided the attack, and a second soaking, by deftly sidestepping at the last moment. Vorius spun to face him, ready to attack again, both grinning, their amusement echoing in the minds of their four companions watching them from the sand. Vorius lunged again. Rikashe shed his vessel and dived into the water, the chaotic energy patterns concealing his position. Resurfacing behind Vorius, Rikashe remade his vessel and wrapped his arms around Vorius’ chest. His arms pinned to his sides by Rikashe’s vicelike grip, Vorius struggled to break free as he was lifted from the hip deep water and tossed through the air.

Disappearing beneath the waves with a splash, Vorius resurfaced a few moments later clutching a large crab.

“There’s life in the water!” he proclaimed triumphantly, holding the aggressive crustacean above his head while it snapped at him with its claws.

A huge head broke the surface behind Vorius, grabbing him in its jaws and dragging him under. Amerusén, Ara, Etrae, and Réala stared at the place Vorius had been moments before in shock and confusion. Rikashe shed his vessel and and dived into the water.

The fish was fast, but Rikashe was faster and, with Vorius’ glow marking their position, he soon caught up with them. Reaching out to the fish’s mind, he tried to manipulate it into letting go of Vorius. Finding the fish’s instincts too strong to overcome quickly enough, he turned his attention to Vorius.

“Shed your vessel!” he screamed into Vorius’ mind. All he got in return was the sensation of muted pain and shocked numbness.

I should’ve warned them the vessels simulate physical pain. Shoving the thought to the back of his mind, he reached out to the body of the fish, although the energy patterns of the fish were difficult to discern among the chaotic energy patterns of the water surrounding it. A cracking sound reverberated through the water as bones broke, but apparently none were bones the fish needed for swimming. Holding tight to Vorius, the fish increased its speed attempting to escape its unseen attacker.

Frustration growing, Rikashe reached out to the energy of the water, manipulating order into the chaos. The fish began slowing as it struggled against the water which was now wrapping around it. Before the fish had come to a complete stop, the water shot upwards, breaking through the surface like a geyser, throwing the fish and Vorius back to the shore.

The fish landed on the sand, releasing Vorius as it hit, and bounced a few times before sliding to a stop halfway up the beach.

Vorius, freed from the creature’s jaws, bounced once, tucked himself into a roll, and came to a stop when he hit a large rock with a loud grunt.

Rikashe reached the beach an instant after Vorius and the fish, remade his vessel and stride toward the enormous marine predator as it thrashed maniacally on the sand. Reaching out with his mind once more, he located the creature’s heart and manipulated the cells to block the signals from the brain that kept it beating. The fish flapped three more times then fell still.

Turning to where Vorius sat propped up against a boulder, he saw the damage the fish had done and understood the strength of the pain he had sensed in Vorius’ mind. Long gashes covered Vorius’ torso and thighs, and large chunks had been gouged out by the fish’s teeth. But instead of sympathy, anger bubbled to the surface of his mind, and he unleashed it on Vorius.

“Just how stupid are you! Next time the wildlife tries to eat you, and there will be a next time, shed your vessel and escape!”

Disconnecting from the group, and Amerusén, he turned back to the fish. Locating the Déllir that had inhabited the animal, he checked if it was Amerusai or Lost. Finding it was Lost, he let it continue its journey to the nearest Looped Stream and reincarnation.

The fish was large, around fifteen metres long. Where it lay on the sand, its side reached to just above Rikashe’s head, so he estimated it was about two metres wide. It’s wedge-shaped head, making up a third of its total length, was covered in hard bony plates. Its large mouth was filled with ten-centimetre-long teeth that curved backwards slightly. Its eyes were large black discs embedded in the side of its skull. The body was tapered, ending in a rounded tip, and covered in overlapping scales that glimmered in the sunlight. Bones jutted from its spine, a thin translucent membrane stretched between to form a fin running from the back of its head to the tip of its tail. An identical fin ran the length of its belly. A large paddle-shaped fin was located two thirds of the way down its side, just behind the head and gills. The fish was coloured a dark silvery grey on its back and silvery white on its belly, the two colours blending into each other halfway up its side.

Lowering himself to the sand a few strides from the dead fish, Rikashe watched crabs and insects of all sizes, shapes, and colours crawl and buzz over the carcass, feasting and breeding.

Having ignored Amerusén’s requests for a connection for the better part of an hour, Rikashe relented and listened to what he had to say.

Amerusén watched Rikashe stare at the fish, wondering at the source of the anger that had assaulted his mind the moment Rikashe had accepted the connection. He was certain that whatever Rikashe was hiding was preventing him from truly becoming one of the Amerusai. But how was he to get someone as closed off to others as Rikashe to open up, to share whatever burden he was carrying? Beneath the anger, Amerusén had sensed guilt. It had been faint, but it had been there. Their conversation had been one-sided, with Amerusén doing all the talking, assuring Rikashe that what had happened was not his fault.

“That was short-lived,” Vorius’ voice cut through Amerusén’s thoughts. “I thought we were finally connecting.”

Amerusén turned as Vorius got to his feet, his vessel repaired, unable to determine if he was being sarcastic or not. “By throwing each other around in the water?”

Vorius grinned, his joy at the memory genuine. “Rikashe enjoyed that too.” He looked at Rikashe, confusion and disappointment growing in his mind. “I know I haven’t been fond of him,” – Etrae snorted at the understatement – “but, for that short time, he seemed like a different person, someone I could be friends with.”

Amerusén nodded, returning his attention to Rikashe. While fighting with Vorius genuine joy and amusement had filled his mind, the distance he usually kept from others disappeared. Now the distance had returned, accompanied by anger and guilt. He tried to remember a time when Rikashe had allowed his emotions to flow so freely, but he couldn’t recall a single instance. Even the fear Rikashe had felt at the appearance of the first singularity had been tightly controlled, so much so that Amerusén was now doubting its veracity, but he wouldn’t admit that to the others, not yet.

“And now he feels guilty for throwing you into the path of that fish,” Amerusén said into the group connection. He didn’t know how true that was, but he wasn’t prepared to admit that maybe Vorius had been right to doubt Rikashe all along.

Ara’s disbelief filled the connection. “He couldn’t have known that fish was there. None of us could have. The energy patterns of the water are far too chaotic to see anything.”

Amerusén nodded again, sitting on a nearby rock, staring out across the ocean wondering how many other monstrous predators dwelled there.

“You think Rikashe is hiding something?” Vorius asked, lowering himself to the sand in front of Amerusén.

“I don’t know, but I will deal with him and his secrets.” Amerusén’s tone made it clear no one was to challenge Rikashe on the matter.

They fell into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Amerusén periodically checked on the Amerusai searching for those they had lost to the Streams, ignoring their curiosity about what the six of them were doing on the northern coast. With nothing amiss among his followers, he contemplated the apparent drawback of being able to interact with matter, and the debilitating sensation Vorius had flooded the group connection with when the fish had grabbed him.

The sun below the western horizon, painting the ocean with shades of orange and red. The tranquillity was broken by Réala jumping down from the boulder she had perched atop and walking over to where Riskashe sat staring at the dead fish. Amerusén listened to them through his connections with them and was surprised to learn that Rikashe had maintained the connection with Réala.

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“It wasn’t your fault,” Réala Sent, her voice a whisper in Rikashe’s mind.

Rikashe looked down at the sand in front of him and sighed.

Réala sat on the soft yellow sand beside him watching the crabs tear chunks of flesh from the fish. “You didn’t disconnect from me.”

“No.”

“You didn’t disconnect from Amerusén, either?”

“I did, but only briefly, and he has said the same as you. Guilt is not why I’m angry.”

“Why are you angry?”

Silence laced with annoyance greeted the question and Réala fell silent. Watching the crabs and insects through the growing darkness, she became increasingly aware of Rikashe’s presence, not just in her mind, but his physical presence beside her.

“Do you ever disconnect from Amerusén for long?” she asked, as much to distract herself from his overwhelming presence as from a desire to know.

Rikashe was thoughtful for a moment. “No. That brief disconnect was the first time since he found me.”

“Why do you maintain a connection with Amerusén but rarely connect with anyone else?”

“Trust.”

“Oh.”

Réala traced shapes in the sand with her finger. Did that mean he trusted her, or that he was trying to decide if he could trust her? She knew others among the Amerusai had abused the trust intrinsic with forming a telepathic connection, and she understood how the betrayal of that trust could make one wary of forming connections with others, but she couldn’t imagine how anyone would be able to cope with the loneliness of an existence devoid of connections.

“It gets easier to cope with.”

Réala’s embarrassment at having thought into their connection instead of in her mind turned to surprise when Rikashe took her hand in his. Looking up, she found he was staring at her.

“I want to trust you.”

She didn’t pull away. She liked the physical contact between them and she wanted more. Leaning against him as he intertwined his fingers with hers, she let the sensation flow through her. “You can. I’ll prove it, I promise.”

Amerusén watched Réala lean against Rikashe, felt the happiness and contentment flow through her at Rikashe’s apparent acceptance of her. Rikashe hadn’t done it to comfort or reassure her, he had done it out of a desire to be close to her, to touch her. A desire so strong it was almost a need.

Though Rikashe had answered her questions honestly, the answers had been incomplete. Trust wasn’t the only reason he chose to remain connected to Amerusén, it was also down to hierarchy. Rikashe had chosen to accept him as his leader. His admission that he wanted to trust Réala was also incomplete. Again. I want to trust you again.

“Réala,” Amerusén Sent. “Come and tell us of your experience as one of the Lost. Or will you be as recalcitrant as the others we have found?”

“I’ll relate what I can recall.” She reluctantly straightened and released her grip on Rikashe’s hand.

Rikashe held on to her for a few moments, annoyance flaring in his mind, before he got to his feet pulling Réala up with him and relinquished his grip on her hand.

“Don’t go too far,” Amerusén cautioned Rikashe as he began to walk further along the beach. “We need to resume our search for those we lost.”

“Okay.”

Amerusén only half listened to Réala’s recounting of her experience. He was preoccupied with Rikashe’s changing behaviour and the seemingly sourceless anger that had filled his mind almost constantly since their arrival on this planet.

Rikashe walked several kilometres along the coast before stopping and looking up at the moon.

He had listened to Réala though she hadn’t said anything he didn’t already know. The lifeform vessels present on this planet didn’t allow for complex thought, for questioning who and what they were and why they existed. They allowed for nothing other than survival.

“What do you think of Réala’s experience?” Amerusén asked.

Turning to look at the water, Rikashe supressed the urge to growl, the anger surging inside him. When he spoke, his mind was calm. “I didn’t know Réala well enough before she became Lost to say how it has affected her, or if what she has said will help us with the Lost Niraidam.”

There was a pause as Amerusén relayed his reply to the others. Sighing, Rikashe joined the group connection.

“You maintained the connection with Réala,” Amerusén observed.

Rikashe tensed. Why was Amerusén bringing that up? He already knew the reason, though admittedly it was only because Rikashe had forgotten he was listening and had let down his guard. “Yes, and you know why.”

“Your reasons for doing so aren’t important,” Amerusén soothed. “We, I want to know what you learned about her. I felt her need for increased contact when you held her hand, her happiness and contentment when she got what she wanted by leaning against you, but there was no lessening in her desire for greater physical contact.”

“This is a dangerous mindset to risk introducing to the Amerusai,” Ara interjected, saving Rikashe from having to answer Amerusén whether she had intended to or not. “If we begin to feel these needs we will become as the Lost.”

Vorius laughed. “I doubt it will be that bad. These vessels are created to protect us from the Looped Streams and allow us to interact with this place. They lack all the things that are inside the fish.”

Rikashe frowned, staring out over the ocean, watching the moonlight play on the crests of the waves, watching the moonlight play on the crests of the waves. “Vorius is right. These vessels we wear aren’t alive, but Ara is also right to be cautious. It’s only our current lack of knowledge and understanding that is preventing from us making these hollow shells into true biological vessels.”

“We can’t abandon them,” Etrae protested. “We could keep them separate for a time. Perhaps they will forget those feelings?”

“That could work, if they don’t feel we have abandoned them. We must make sure they don’t think they are no longer welcome among the Amerusai,” Ara agreed.

Amerusén remained silent while the others discussed how they should proceed with reintegrating the Lost Amerusai. The memory of Amerusén’s growing suspicion while Rikashe turned over rocks forced itself to the fore of Rikashe’s mind.

“Water.”

A bemused silence fell on the group.

“Water. Wet. How did you know these concepts, Rikashe? Cold. I sensed the lie when you denied knowing the concept of temperature. How did you know how to manipulate the water? How did you know stopping the fish’s heart would kill it? How did you know how to stop its heart? And what do you know of the mysteriously appearing concepts of the things we encounter? Are you responsible for those?”

Panic welled inside Rikashe as the others focused their attention on him. Cursing himself a fool for not just walking into Amerusén’s, but helping him to set it, he wanted to disconnect from the group, to avoid the questions his answers would create. Leaving the group connection wouldn’t be easy if they really wanted answers. The moment he began to withdraw, Amerusén would bring the full strength of his mind to bear against him. While he was certain he could match Amerusén in strength, the presence of the other three tipped the scales firmly in Amerusén’s favour.

“No answers? Then let us start with an easier question. When and why did you leave the Niraidam?”

Rikashe considered lying, or at least telling a half-truth, but discarded the idea as soon as it crossed his mind. While telling Amerusén and his Inner Circle the truth had never had the desired effect, being caught in another lie would only make matters worse. The panic flared in his mind. Was Amerusén trying to delve into his mind? Had he already succeeded? Given how distracted Rikashe had been, would he have noticed if Amerusén had tried? He hadn’t detected the intrusion the last time. His mind raced looking for a way out the situation he had got himself into that wouldn’t result in a fight he couldn’t win. He saw the moon’s reflection in a tide pool and smiled.

“I didn’t leave the Niraidam,” Rikashe stated, all too aware that some among the Amerusai, including Vorius, thought he was a Niraidam spy sent to subvert the Amerusai from within. “I didn’t leave the Niraidam because I never joined them.”

“Impossible!” Vorius yelled into the group connection, impressing Rikashe with the amount of venom he managed to put into that single word. “Everyone was part of the Niraidam!”

Rikashe chuckled. “What makes you say that? Is it because you believe there was nothing before the Niraidam?”

“There was nothing before the Niraidam,” Etrae whispered.

Rikashe’s mind softened. “Why do you believe that to be true? Because the Niraidam told you it is? The Niraidam lied to you. There was something before them, and there are things other than them. The word Niraidam means The Slaves of Niraid. I have never been his slave, and I never will be. Niraid lies. He lies to everyone he enslaves. He wipes all memories from your minds then tells you you are free, among other lies. We don’t know how he does it, but when we find out we will undo it. When this cycle of material universes ends, Niraid will try to enslave you again, and if you continue breaking free of his control, he will eventually destroy you. This isn’t the first time you have tried to save the Lost. You have never succeeded in doing so, and every time you go right back to your memoryless servitude.”

Focussing on Amerusén, he found the link between them and halted Amerusén’s advance into his mind, expelling him and severing the connection. The group connection filled with image after image of millions of the singularities forming and expanding, engulfing trillions of unwary Niraidam and trapping them. Images of other places; a vast citadel hidden by the energy clouds of the universe and home to millions of people, another citadel surrounded by picturesque landscapes dotted with settlements of varying sizes. Every image had a unique frequency embedded in it, a signature marking it as a memory. The difference between a fabricated image and a memory was subtle, but for those who only communicated telepathically the difference was unmistakable.

“Amerusén, I told you I had seen the singularities before. When you asked if I had seen them near Oblivion or somewhere else –.”

“You said yes…” Amerusén’s voice was quiet.

“Yes, but never near Oblivion. Existence Herself shuns that place. I was there to avoid the singularities until it was safer to approach them. And to enter them without becoming trapped. Your finding me was… unplanned. It had never happened before. You are right, I did lie about knowing the concept of temperature. I know the rest of what you asked because this isn’t the first time I have been in these material universes, and this isn’t the first time I have met you. I am not the source of the mysteriously appearing concepts, however. Those come from the centre of your Essence.”

The four Amerusai were shocked into silence and inaction by Rikashe’s revelations. Taking advantage of their momentary distraction, he severed his connection to the group. Shedding his vessel, Rikashe sped northwards across the ocean.

“He’s lying,” Vorius paced back and forth on the sand.

“No,” Amerusén said, still reeling from how effortlessly Rikashe had stopped and expelled him. “He thought about lying but didn’t. You saw the signatures on the images as well as I did. They were memories. His memories.”

“How far in did you get?” Ara asked,

“I barely broke through the surface before he expelled me.”

“He’s stronger than we thought?”

“Or just more skilled than we are.”

“So you didn’t get any more information on this Niraid he spoke of?”

Amerusén shook his head. “All I know about Niraid is that Rikashe wants to kill him. I’ve never felt an emotion so strong from Rikashe as the hate he felt when speaking of Niraid.”

Vorius stopped and turned to face Amerusén. “Who is this we he talked about? ‘We don’t know.’ ‘When we find out.’”

“I don’t know. Only Rikashe can answer these questions.”

Vorius snorted. “Rikashe’s gone.”

Amerusén rose from the boulder he was sat on and faced the south. “We need to get back to the others.”

“What do we tell them about Rikashe?” Etrae asked, worry in her tone.

“Nothing. We don’t know anything. All we have is more questions that only Rikashe has the answers too. This isn’t the first time Rikashe has gone off alone for a time.”

“And if he doesn’t return? If he’s gone for good?”

Amerusén looked down at the sand and sighed. “Then we tell them the truth. I have driven away our best hope of saving the Lost.”