As an entity best described as having had truly infinite experiences, it was hard to put any sort of subjective rating on any period he had lived; however if he were to be asked to describe how his most recent eon had been going, Kirby would likely describe it as being not that great. There was of course the Crunch going on, leading to the collapse of the Palmtree and inevitable deaths of all peoples across all worlds, but far more pressing to Kirby was his current vocational ties. He had truly done it all, and now at the end of all things he found himself doing one of the most foundational jobs found in nearly all sapient species across the Palmtree, office work.
To gaze upon Kirby was to witness a monolith of both stature and meaning. He stood nine feet tall while slouching, which he almost constantly did. Looking mostly human, Kirby had pale skin with no noticeable body hair. His eyes were so dark, such that his iris and pupil couldn’t be distinguished, and they were set above darkened bags giving the impression that he hadn’t slept in three days. His hair was dark brown and greasy, slicked back but just messy enough to be considered unkempt. Lastly he wore a wrinkled all black suit, which hung off his frame in a way that made him look more strung out than professional.
Throughout the multiverse, also called the Palmtree for reasons nobody knew, Kirby was known as the Witness, the Deathwatch, or various other similar names. Simply put, anytime a world, universe, or even great civilization came to an end, there would be a being of similar description to this Kirby born into that world. The one thing all his incarnations had in common were his endless experience witnessing cataclysm and death on scales most couldn’t conceive. Before the Crunch began, he was simply that, a quirk of reality, but no more powerful than any other inhabitant of his born culture. The moment the Crunch kicked off however Kirby was born anew into the Hallways, and this incarnation resulted in him becoming one of the most powerful beings in existence.
Currently Kirby was in an office space, surrounded by similarly dressed, although noticeably more professional, business people. Grey cloth padded cubicles rose seven feet high providing enough privacy from non-Kirbys, of which there were currently seven. The large office space housed nearly two hundred workers on a single floor, each provided with enough space to complete their work. This was one of the many offices of Oasis, a company founded with the intention of stopping the Crunch. Similar to many other Hallways-native beings which Oasis had friendly contact with, Kirby’s primary task was to provide a stable space for employees to complete their tasks. Of course saying that Kirby worked for Oasis would be inaccurate, he just happened to be willing to help out some and in exchange gained access to many Oasis resources and technologies.
Preparing himself, one of the Kirbys in the office began to massively accelerate his time perception, since it would be best if Oasis and other interested parties were unaware of the meeting he had planned. Time froze around him, his own power allowing him to easily walk out of the room unnoticed even by the incredible surveillance technology of Oasis. The sanitized office space around him fell away as he moved away from the other selves maintaining it. Replacing the office was a cozy wooden cabin. Touched by time, the floors he walked on were far too settled to creak anymore. He let out a tired breath, falling further into dishevelment, and took a few slow steps down the hallway he found himself in. This cabin was sculpted from several million Kirbys who survived through a slow death wrought by the freezing of a planet, or the slow dying of a star. Many thousands of years had collectively been spent in a warm cabin built on the edge of a cold death, and the Kirbys surviving in the Hallways found himself rather pleased by that image. As such, this cabin interior was the default perception of the Hallways that Kirby adopted.
This space was immensely meaningful. Each molecule of air or wood in the space around him was representative of an entire reality. A mortal mind could never comprehend something of this scale and would inevitably lose all ability to think after seeing the smallest fraction of the space he walked. As Kirby reached the end of the hallway, the scene opening up to reveal a cozy living room on his left, and kitchen separated by a half wall on his right, he felt the presence of his friend begin to affect him. One of the most dangerous aspects of the Hallways was the constant capability for another being to impose their perception on you. If two people found themselves in the Hallways without any prior understanding of its functions, they would both perceive their own unique spaces through which to navigate. The realities around them would remain the same objective points but the way they were represented was an incredibly personal image. One might see a grand library while another sees a ghost town lined with abandoned houses. In the library, a book could represent a universe, while in the town, a building could represent the same. The danger arose when a being of much more power was involved and could impose their own perception on another. This would give them ultimate power over the lesser being, and meant all but the most powerful entities survived this space out of luck or benevolence. Feeling the draw to a new perception for most was a violation of horrific nature, but for Kirby he’d consider it old hat.
Kirby allowed himself to enjoy the feeling as the presence of his friend washed over him, the effect of which changed his very biology. He stood taller in that instant, pushed his hair back, and his eyes sharpened to show a hint of the cunning he truly possessed. The cabin which Kirby used was minimalistic despite its scale, allowing him to traverse great distances in a moment of subjective time. The Architect of Kalvanta, however, preferred the exact opposite. Kirby took in the new laws of physics and magic in the air as the new reality fully settled around him. He was standing in a vast grassy plain on a sunny day, with a delightful breeze bringing a relaxed smile to his face. His perception of time slowed even further as he entered his friends domain, and he immediately knew it was necessary due to how massive the world around him was. He was in an entire universe intricately crafted piece by piece. The same node of reality he used to construct a molecule was represented by a planet, or star, or other cosmic object here. As this realization dawned on him his smile only sunk further into his weary face. This would be a relaxing vacation.
Over the course of a month Kirby simply sat in that field and watched. He tracked every detail of everything happening around him, seeing the operating mechanisms of gravity, and the underlying magic built into everything here. Both the physics and magic of this world were entirely systematic, each law guided by perfect formulae. After that month passed, and with a better understanding of the new rules governing him, Kirby began to set out. First he explored the planet he found himself on, mastering the magic of his new reality and witnessing the pure artistry put into every facet of this planet's design. After only a century he developed the magical abilities to walk off the planet, each step he took covering thousands of miles using a trick of the magic he had learned. Interestingly the magic of this world was very similar to the mechanisms of the Hallways itself. Utilizing magic was a matter of perception and realization. This allowed him to use channels of magic to ‘see’ himself somewhere else. He continued his journey, expanding his perception to be able to see a whole planet at once, then a whole solar system, and beyond.
After a short five hundred years Kirby had truly witnessed much of what this world had to offer. Witnessing was his job after all. He flew through nebulas and watched as a star was birthed and died, the latter of which was viewed by looking into a region with massively accelerated timeflow. Finally he reached a deep silence in the center of the universe, long abandoned by the ever expanding nature of this place. In this core of darkness was a massive thing. The thing was itself the size of a galaxy, its body made up of gears and ineffable machinery. Further description would fail to grasp its nature or scope, but the moment Kirby saw it he was seen in return.
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During those five hundred years the Kirby in his cabin had taken seventeen steps, arriving at his dining room table where a small child sat with their legs tucked to their chest. Tangentially to Kirby existing within the perception of his friend, the Architect was also existing within his own.
“Archie.” He said warmly in his cabin, while simultaneously creating a planet sized construct of magic to shout the name into the core of the thing of gears. His warm voice was that of a years-long chain smoker, but he thought it carried a warmth regardless.
To avoid the confusion, and to observe proper etiquette, Kirby removed himself from the Architect’s perception and instead switched to only existing within his own. He was the more powerful being after all, so it was only polite for his perception to be the one respected in this meeting. The small child sitting in front of him had silver hair and brass eyes. Their skin was incredibly pale, and they wore a simple looking fabric gown. Although they looked like a homeless child Kirby was respectful and patient as he approached, taking a seat opposite them at the dining table. The Architect of Kalvanta was far older than Kirby although less powerful due to their chosen specialty.
“Archie,” Kirby repeated as he settled into his seat. “It's been too long.”
“Perhaps to one of us who is used to living on the scale of mortal perception.” The Architect replied wanly. Gesturing to their figure they continued. “I have yet to understand for what purpose you live in such tiny vessels. Regardless, Kirby, what is it you require that necessitates you seeing me in such a limited way?”
Remembering the odd rhythm involved with talking to his friend, Kirby leaned forward and further sharpened his gaze. “I don’t think vessel is the term I’d use, as it’s more accurate to say they are incarnations of myself that eventually reunite with the rest of myself to further my understanding of endings. Of course that mechanism has only existed as long as I have been here in the Hallways, but personally I think this is the actual state of my existence and all that came before were the causes necessary to lead to the effect of my existence.”
Their eyes widened slightly at the freely given information. “You consider yourself a being created via reverse causation? Fascinating to think that your prior existence as a whimsy of reality was in fact only there as the pretext to your current form. Fine, I’ll accept that response as a sufficient explanation of your nature to justify a palaver of this nature. Again I will more pointedly ask, why are you here?”
“For my own dramatic senses I’ll continue by asking some questions of my own in a way that eventually leads to an answer that satisfies you. Tell me Archie, do you have a way to circumvent what’s coming? I’ll admit your time and space manipulation operates on a kick-ass level. But time and space will never be enough to do the impossible.” To pinpoint his point Kirby flexed his will and time around the Architect was accelerated far more than his pal would ever be able to manage. Kirby smirked as over the course of a second the child experienced what must’ve been ten thousand years. This wasn’t only a form of bullying, but was usually considered a bargaining tool by providing another with valuable experience of higher level time manipulation.
As the influence dropped the Architect shot Kirby an annoyed look. “While I recognize the courtesy you’ve shown, I have great reason to believe it was only done as a way to annoy me. Honestly, I thought most records of your strength were overestimated, but I find myself pleasantly corrected. I do have a method to achieve this, yes. Not to survive, but perhaps to leave something behind. I know about your little toys by the way.”
Smugly Kirby folded his hands. “Let’s get to beating the bush. The reason I came, for a meeting as vulgar as this, is to ask you a question. To make you a deal.” Seeing the Architect raise their eyebrows he continued. “Archie, do you have the requisite materials needed to complete your project?”
“One billion, seventy-three million, seven hundred forty-one thousand, eight hundred twenty-four souls are the materials I would require to complete this task without partaking in unsavory business.” With a sigh the Architect lost some of their composure and gave Kirby a sly frown. “Not that I’m sure I could accomplish it without a certain multifarious entity who has a near-monopoly on souls wiping me from existence. What sort of payment would you require for a step-on-throat deal such as this?”
With a wolfish grin Kirby sat back and folded his arms on his lap. “I want your designs. Everything you ever manufactured, imagined, or designed. I need nothing other than the raw data.”
“Why would you ever want such a thing?”
“Because when there’s nothing left, something will have to start rebuilding from the non-existent ground up. I want as much inspiration for that impossible something as possible. So do we have a deal?”
Thinking for a moment the Architect eventually nodded slightly and reached out a small hand, before retracting that hand not wanting to get it dirty. With a satisfied smile Kirby shrugged and began to saunter off, leaving the Architect of Kalvanta behind to continue their business.
After a period of time that was simultaneously five hundred years, twenty minutes, and a tiny fraction of a second, Kirby left his fateful meeting with the Architect of Kalvanta. Acquiring the souls required would be a non-insubstantial task but it was something he’d achieve shortly. Mostly he found himself curious if the world inside the Architect ending would satisfy the requirements to fulfill his role. Truly he got everything he wanted from this exchange.
It’s theorized that before any world ever existed there was first a singularity of metaphysical energy. This would be the stuff that created the potential for life and magic and all else before any sort of physical big bang could take place. That potential for life allowed for universes to be born. The Hallways was the place that existed between all physical realities. A place of higher dimensional conception where all things first came from. Across the Palmtree there was truly an infinite number of lives which called some aspect of it home.
They were all dying. Without exception every physical reality was almost instantaneously losing all life and magical energy. Soon after the physical space would dissolve into the Hallways and become nothing once more. One of the earliest discoveries of the Crunch was by a group of scientists living in a highly advanced civilization, who escaped into the Hallways to escape their collapsing reality. Those very researchers and scholars were now leading the foremost corporation intent on leading the Palmtree away from its inevitable collapse. Oasis was formed, and for eons had been working to stop whatever force was ending all life. Massive movements of trillions of beings from millions of advanced realities were working together to try and make anything shift that would allow them to survive.
Of course on a cosmic scale this apocalypse was nearly instantaneous. To the small few natives of the hallways who knew better, this task was impossible. Instead those beings of maximal power were looking to cheat and make it past the crunch instead of stopping it. Some were intent on creating something that would survive the Crunch and let life continue after the Hallways itself collapsed. Others like the Architect of Kalvanta were more interested in either surviving or sending someone else to whatever non reality might exist after the Crunch was over.
A small fraction of a second after he left Kirby was back in the dreary office space monitored by Oasis. With a sigh he spent a couple seconds adjusting his suit, somehow looking the worse for it. Aside from time accelerated secret meetings, and threats to existence on an absolute scale, his job really was boring. Maybe he could convince his manager to let him change the carpets to a super complicated pattern? No, probably not, it showed in study groups to decrease productivity.