How did they find me? I've been hiding out in this area for almost a year now. Sure, they'd find me every once in a while when I went out to find food, but they've never found me here before. No, it doesn't matter. What matters right now is escaping from these losers.
"Wah!" I yelped as a fireball sailed over my head and hit the wall behind me.
"He's trapped in the dumpster! We've got him this time!", one of them yelled.
The guy who tossed the fireball was giving out orders to his buddies. Aren't you fools supposed to be protecting the peace or something? What are you going to do about the scorch marks on the wall? There's something kind of sad and pathetic about the fact they've been chasing the same kid for six years and never caught him once. Do they let just any chump into the guard corps these days?
Another fireball blew up nearby, knocking me out of my thoughts. No matter how much I insult them in my head, it's not going to get me out of here. They're trying to keep me pinned in here with magic attacks while they keep getting closer. I dared to peek over the edge and noticed the dumpster's brake lever. They usually hook these things up to a horse and they cart it out of town to empty them out, so there's wheels on it and everything. Hey... this thing is on a hill, isn't it?
"Heh... See you later, losers!", I taunted as I swung out over the side and kicked the brake lever.
I must've kicked it a bit too hard and it bent way out of shape, but the brake was released and that's all that mattered to me at the moment. I hopped back in, then quickly moved to stick myself between the dumpster and the wall and pushed off as hard as I could.
One of the quicker thinking guards yelled out, "It's coming straight at us! Hit the dirt!" as they all dived out of the way. I was a little disappointed that I didn't hit any of them. Once I was far enough away, I tried to get out, but bad luck struck again. The hill was getting steeper and the road began to curve. I'm heading for a wall!
"Aaaah!" I screamed as sparks started flying on my (slightly smelly) steel chariot as it screeched it's away around the corner and started heading straight down Main Street.
"If I keep going this way, I'll hit the market!", I realized as the dumpster hit a bump and caught air. I lost my grip and fell backward, landing with a sticky thud in some garbage as I continued to pick up speed. I quickly got back up and looked over the edge as the market came into view.
"Look out!" I warned as I blasted into the central square, taking out a handcart full of fruit on the way.
People screaming, fruit flying and splinters from carts and market stalls were all over the place as I smashed into one thing after another.
"This is the worst idea I ever had!" I thought aloud as I took out a crate full of apples. One of them flew up into the dumpster and I caught it as I plowed through a shop selling meat skewers. I managed to catch one of those too. My favorite!
"… Or the best idea I ever had!" I said as I started stuffing my face. What? I can't let it go to waste, right?
I plowed through a box full of live chickens, feathers flying everywhere, as I rounded the next curve and the city gate came into view. I coughed a few feathers out of my mouth as I looked towards the gate with a grin. If I made it out the gate, I could wait until the dumpster stopped moving, safely get out and sneak back into the city later. I hid my treasure, the magic book, in my pants and tied it to my left leg with a strip of rope I found. It probably came from one of the stalls I smashed.
Once the dumpster stopped moving, I needed to start running as fast I could because the guards at the gate sure wouldn't be happy to see me and might chase me as far as the nearby forest. But, I never got to try out that plan. As I looked out towards the gate a single guard calmly stepped right in my path. This guy was different. His tabard was a dark purple, marking him as a member of the royal guard, the elites.
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He looked straight at me with no fear at all as he raised one hand and began charging a spell. There was nothing I could do about it since I had no way to turn the dumpster. So, I just braced myself as I crashed right into his shield spell. With a sickening metallic crunch, we hit head on and this guy didn't even so much as flinch. Meanwhile, I flew right over his head and did a face plant right into the street and rolled over about five or six times before finally stopping.
"Uuugh..." I groaned as I rolled over and looked at the sky. I grunted one more time and struggled to get up as I faced the royal guard as he casually strode over to me.
"Hello, Fen. We meet again.", he said with a smug grin on his face.
I craned my neck back to look up at him. He was pretty tall and built like a house. Most humans are weaker than me, but if there's a human anywhere who could match me in a fist fight, it'd be this guy. With his perfect military-style short-cut hair, green eyes, and perfect white smile, he's one of those "good-looking" people and he knows it. A noble. Worse, he's good with magic. Really good.
"Roland Firth, Captain of the Royal Guard, huh?" I said as I tried to focus and figure out which one of the two of him I was seeing was the real one.
"I'm honored you've managed to remember my name. Still, it seems that wulvari really are as tough as they say. If you were human that fall would've split your head open like an overripe melon. I'm even surprised you're still conscious," he said as he brushed off some dirt that got on his tabard.
It seems like he's feeling talkative today. If I can keep him talking maybe I can stall him long enough for the world to stop swaying all over the place and I can make a run for it.
"So, what's the great Captain of the Royal Guard doing this far away from the castle?" I asked.
"Trying to catch you, of course. You're pretty famous in the guard corps, you know. The wulvari brat no one can catch. This is what? The third time we've gotten this close? You're getting sloppy," he said, still grinning. He must really think he's won already. The idiot should've grabbed me while I was still woozy. I kept up the act of being unable to see straight and staggered on my feet a bit.
"Do you have any idea how much damage you just caused?" he asked. Heh... this will throw him for a loop.
"Well, let's see. Seven stalls, six carts, one storefront counter, a crate of apples and a box of chickens. If we assume the damage is irreparable and must be replaced, the stalls are worth fifty silver each, the carts are forty, the storefront counter looked like it had marble, so I'll guess a whole gold piece and the boxes are cheap so fifty copper. So far that's six gold, ninety one silver pieces, not counting merchandise," I said with a grin as I waited for his reaction.
"… What? W-where did you learn how to do that!? And so fast..." he stammered. Oh, man the look on his face is priceless!
I took advantage of his surprise to dive under his legs, then quickly scramble up the side of the ruined dumpster, then from there leap up to a nearby rooftop. He was yelling "Stop!" and "Get back here!" as I dashed full speed along the rooftops and out of sight. Seriously, what kind of idiot would actually stop running when you tell them to?
My next plan of action was to find a nice quiet hidden place where I could finally read my prize, the book "Basic Spells for the Beginner."