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A Little Push

My eyes open, and I lift my head off the arm of the couch. I look around the dust-filled garage for that person that was right beside me a long while ago. The pale rays of sunlight creep into the concrete room from the tiny windows adjacent to the ceiling. As I lifted myself from the couch, I subconsciously looked around for him. Mac is gone. He must've left when I fell asleep.

'Come on, Sachi,' I say to myself in my head, 'You have to go.'

I force my legs to overcome the numbness of sleep and wobble over to the bathroom. The light clicks on, and I'm met with myself in the mirror once again - She's not looking too well. I let my long hair down and push it behind my ears before bending down to toss the freezing water from the faucet onto my tired face. The numbness instantly fades, and I reach for my purple towel to dry off. I make eye contact with the mirror girl again and pull up my hair.

I can suddenly feel the bathroom spinning and the numbness returning. The girl in the mirror's appearance changes before my eyes, and she now has much shorter hair and is a few centimeters taller than me.

"Who are you?" She asks.

"I'm Sachi," I reply.

"No, you are not," She says in a more serious tone, "Who are you?"

"I said I'm Sachiko," I reiterate, "Why are you asking me this?"

"How can you be Sachiko when I am truly her?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask her, entirely confused.

"You are not me, and I am not you," She says, "You were once me, so why can't you remember yourself?"

"You're not making sense!" I shout at her.

"Who are you?" She repeats once again.

"Sachiko! I'm freaking Sachi-"

I suddenly freeze.

"What was my name again? What was it? Wait, why can't I remember?"

"Your name is not true yet. When the time is right, I will tell you who you are, okay?"

"Wait, why can't you tell me now? Wait!"

Before I know it, the girl in the mirror vanishes and the only one left in her place is me. I stare blankly at myself for a couple of seconds before I grip my head in agony. A horrible, throbbing headache forces me to hunch over for around 3 minutes before fading away into a tiny migraine. I lift myself off the floor and gaze into the mirror once again. A pinkish-red liquid leaks out of my nose, runs over the corner of my mouth, and drips off my chin, into the sink. I instinctively lick the pink blood from the edge of my mouth and wince. It's very bitter. I rip off a sheet of toilet paper and stick it up my left nostril to staunch the bleeding. After that, I brush the hair covering the right side of my face and exit the bathroom.

My eyes scan the garage, and I remind myself that I am alone. Mac must have left when I fell asleep.

"I better get to the diner," I say to myself, "Zac's probably waiting for me."

I move over to the door after slipping on my boots and head out. The weather is a lot warmer than yesterday, and I can see the pale blue sky for once. The colossal black and silver skyscraper looms over me as I make my way out of the alley and down the street. The usually minimal traffic speeds by every so often, and I'm nudged to the side by the small but strong gusts of wind that follow each car. The ear-piercing sound of jackhammering and heavy construction fades in after some time, then fades out without a trace. I let out a relieved sigh afterward, just as Solis diner entered my vision. There aren't any customers there like yesterday. I can only hope business stays that way.

I step in front of the automatic doors, watch them open the blink of an eye, and enter the diner.

"Ah, there she is!" A voice shouts from behind the counter, "How are you doing, Sachi?"

I peer to my right and notice Zac sitting at the bar wearing a blue polo, black jeans, and a black apron.

I only reply to him with a simple, "Hello," then make my way to my favorite booth.

"Oh, right," Zac starts, "I'm sure you're still pretty bummed out about my brother leaving you on such short notice."

I look over at him and say nothing.

"You wanted to go with him, didn't you?"

I nod.

"I understand," He says, "To tell you the truth, Mac would have been kicked out of the resistance if he were to bring you along with him to Sobo. Umbra's Single-Man Mission policy is incredibly strict."

I turn my head and gaze out the huge glass window at the cars zooming past the diner, trying to ignore Zac.

After a few minutes of silence, Zac chimes in with, "Is your nose bleeding?”

I lift my hand to my face and feel the pink blood-soaked wad of toilet paper sticking out of my nose.

"I got a headache, and it just started bleeding," I finally replied to Zac.

"Yikes, girl," He says concerningly, "You should probably get that brain of yours checked out with a doctor or something. It must've been one serious headache."

"They only happen when I try to remember things about my past before I met Mac."

"Mmm, that's right. You're an amnesiac."

"I guess so - I mean, I don't know."

Zac stands up out of his barstool and makes his way over to my booth.

He takes a seat in front of me, folds his arms, then utters, "What's the earliest thing from your childhood that you can remember?"

"Hmm," I begin racking my brain, "The earliest thing I can remember is waking up in this booth and seeing Mac's face for the first time. I don't think I can recall anything before that."

"You have to think, Sachi," Zac interrupts me, "Think back way before you met my brother. Try to remember."

"No!" I suddenly shout," I don't want another headache today!"

"Alright, Alright," Zac leans back a little to give me some space, "We'll save it for another time."

I sigh, "Thank you."

I guess my judgment for Zac has changed since I met him yesterday. He's practically like a second Mac, only shorter and younger.

"You know," He begins talking once more, "I may not be exactly like my brother, but I can still cook as good as him if not better."

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That piqued my interest somehow.

"Oh yeah? Give me an example, then," I teased him.

"Well, if it's an example you want," He continues as he stands up from the booth, "Then it's an example you'll get, Sachi!"

I stare at Zac with my eyebrows raised a little, pretending to be impressed. Maybe he'll just go away if I stop talking to him.

"What are you hungry for?" He asks, "I can make pretty much everything on the menu so far, so ask away!"

I pull out the breakfast menu from its station situated at the end of the booth's table. My eyes scan the list of the same old breakfast meals we always serve until I finally decide on my order.

"Pancakes," I awkwardly demand, "Chocolate chip."

Zac replies with, "Consider it done, beautiful," and makes a B-line to the kitchen.

I cringe slightly at his compliment. Why did he have to call me beautiful like that? I mean, I respect Zac as much as I respect his older brother, but he really got under my skin with that compliment. Who knows; Maybe I just can't take a compliment as an average person would. I wish I could just go home and sleep for the rest of my life. I miss my bed already.

Nearly thirty minutes pass, and I'm still slumped in my booth, waiting for my pancakes to arrive. It really shouldn't have taken Zac this long to make three flapjacks and cover them in chocolate chips. I don't hear any movement behind the kitchen door, so I'm going to go off the assumption that he forgot or messed up and had to make them again. Oh well, I wasn't hungry anyway.

I scoot my butt out of the booth and slowly move myself to the diner's entrance. Stepping outside, I feel the warmer air wash across my pale face as the constant low hum of the fluorescent 'Solis Diner' sign fills my ears. The humming is interrupted every so often by the noise of a passing car, or the distant cry of an Altain crow. My lungs inhale and exhale deeply, my eyes close, and I begin meditating to the atmosphere of the city. I've never actually meditated before; I guess I just feel like trying it for once.

My mind has become completely empty. Nothing remains in my psyche. Meditation is really calming, and I should probably do this more often. With my subconscious clear, I can finally think about the more important things like how I should go about trying to regain my lost memories. I'm sure it would take a long time for me to find someone or something willing to help me. Zac seems helpful, but I doubt he has any experience in dealing with psychological trauma or amnesia, for that matter. I guess it looks like I'm at a complete loss here. I better go back inside.

I end my meditation and open my eyes, but I suddenly find myself inches away from the edge of the sidewalk! Bringing myself back into reality, I quickly back up from the road and fall flat on my butt in front of the diner's huge outdoor recycling bin. I try to catch my breath as I stand up.

'Ugh, that hurt,' I think to myself, 'That was weird too. Why the hell did I do that?'

After brushing the dirt off my leggings, I reenter the restaurant. I find myself a plate with a single stack of pancakes surrounded in chocolate chips situated in the middle of my booth's table. Zac is standing next to it with a dumb smile upon his face.

"There you go, Sachi!" He exclaims, "Chocolate chip pancakes just as you requested."

I look up at him then back at my pancakes. They look disappointing to say the least. The Chocolate chips are around the cakes instead of cooked into them, The syrup has already been poured, and they look a little burnt.

"Oh," I say, sitting down in the booth, "Thanks. I appreciate it, I guess."

"You're welcome, hun," He replies, smiling, "Oh, by the way, what were you doing outside just then?"

"Oh, nothing," I say as I poke the stack of pancakes with my fork. "I was just thinking about stuff, that's all."

"Ah, alright," He says, "That's probably a good thing to do considering all that stress my brother placed on you after he left."

I ignore Zac and take my first bite of his pancakes. They're not bad, but they're also not very good either. These pancakes just exist, I suppose. I take a few more bites before throwing in the towel and laying my fork in the middle of the plate. I don't think I should stomach these anymore. They're so bland.

"So, how are they, Sachi?" Zac chimes in.

"Um," I respond, "They're good, I guess."

"Better than my brother's?"

"Sure."

He furrows his brow, then shrugs, saying, "Some people have different tastes, I suppose."

Zac picks up my plate and takes it back to the kitchen with him. Meanwhile, I slump back into the seat with my arms crossed.

'Maybe I should ask him if I can go,' I think, 'I hope it doesn't backfire on me like it would with Mac.'

When he returns, I look up at him and say, "Zac, I have a question."

"Alright, what is it, hun?" He replies.

"Well, I was wondering," I begin, "Is it possible for me to join Umbra as you and Mac did?"

His eyes widen at the question and quickly answers with, "No."

"Why not?"

"There are multiple reasons, Sachi. You are too young, inexperienced, and not strong enough to handle our training regiment."

"I don't care! I want to join you guys!"

"Don't raise your voice at me, girl. You're lucky I'm not as hot-headed my brother."

"Fine, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, but the answer is no. You can't join Umbra yet. You should wait until you're old enough."

I hang my head in disappointment. The training regiment shouldn't be THAT hard. Even if it is, though, I'm sure I'll be able to pull through eventually.

"Fine. I won't join Umbra yet," I lie, "Could you at least tell me where your base is?"

"What makes you think I'll tell you where the HQ is located?"

"For future reference."

Zac crosses his arms and pauses for a moment, filling the diner with silence.

"It's not like I have any mode of transportation, Zac," I break the silence, "You can tell me."

"Alright, that's enough!" He shouts to my surprise, "I'll tell you, but on one condition."

My face lights up, and I say, "Of course! What is it?"

"You can not tell a single soul about the organization, or its location," He says in a stern, Mac-like manner, "Do you understand?"

I nod very quickly and say, "Yes, yes, I understand. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Alright, I believe you," He sighs, "The Umbra HQ was originally located right here in Kueski, but due to some complications with a certain agent, we were forced to relocate to the Duenba district, south of Central."

"Duenba! That's pretty far from here, isn't it?" I ask him, trying not to give away my intentions.

"It would probably take over seven hours by bus to make it to the HQ without taking traffic into the equation."

"That would make sense," I give him a fake smile and finish with, "Thanks for telling me this, Zac!"

He glares at me with his dark brown eyes, then sighs, "You're welcome, Sachi."

Zac turns around and heads back to the counter. He suddenly stops and peers over at me from behind his shoulder.

"You can stop with the charade, Sachi," he utters to my surprise, "Since you're already planning on leaving, I suggest you go back to the garage and pack your bags."

I just sit there in my booth, feeling embarrassed for getting caught. I suppose it was my terrible acting that gave it away.

“To be completely honest," Zac continues, "I figured you'd want to join Umbra after my brother told you about us. I guess you can consider our conversation as a test of sorts."

"So, you're saying I'm allowed to join?"

"I see no harm in it; though, you aren't old enough to join yet. Hell, I don't think Click would even let you look at the front door for five seconds," He laughs.

My eyes point at the floor in disappointment. Zac ceases his laughter upon noticing me looking so upset.

"You know what? You could probably get in if you lie about your age. You don't have any form of physical identification, right?"

"An ID? No, I don't think so."

"Well, Umbra does mandatory ID checks for the new recruits... Unless they're a fugitive looking for work."

I tilt my head and ask, "Well, I'm wanted by the government for having pink blood. Do you think Umbra would let me in if I tell them that?"

His eyebrows raise, and he nods.

"Mmm, that's a viable strategy, and it just might work! Besides, you and I both know that you're one shoddy actress," he quips, chuckling.

I blush and give Zac an awkward giggle at his remark about me.

"Alright, that's enough kidding around. Go back to my brother's 'house,' pack your bags, and hightail it out of here, Sachi. Also, don't forget to take deodorant with you. Duenba is as humid as the rainforests of Ken-Ra."

I stand up from my booth, finally feeling motivated for once in my life (as far as I can recall).

I give Zac a bright smile before I bolt out of the diner, shouting, "Thanks a ton, Zac! I really appreciate all your help! I'll be sure to give you a call when I make it to Duenba!"

The stagnant air of the outside world blows past me as I sprint down the sidewalk back to Mac's garage, my face starting to get cold from the breeze, but still smiling.