November 2, 2022
Day 13
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As the alpha dropped dead, the group shouted cheers and waited for their kill notifications and what they hoped would be a boatload of experience points.
The alpha started to heal.
The cheers died down, and there was a moment of indecision before Ivan shouted the question on everyone's mind.
"What do we do now?"
Daniel was as clueless as everyone else and said the only thing that came to his mind.
"Keep attacking."
Within seconds, the group was ready to unleash hell on the alpha again.
As the first volley of arrows embedded themselves in the unmoving alpha, the group realized their oversight.
In the heat of battle, the fact that the alpha's tail defense was inactive had not registered with them. So, out of habit more than anything else, they had aimed at its torso instead of its head.
The four were quick to correct their mistake. While the second volley was already in the air, the third was aimed right at the alpha's head.
But their window of opportunity was over.
The alpha rose with a snarl and whipped away all four arrows aimed at its head.
Just as the group was about to unleash another volley of arrows, the ground shook beneath them and threw off their aims.
The alpha paid no attention to the arrows sticking out of its torso, and started moving, slowly at first, and then with purpose. Damaged as it was, it was more dangerous than the last time around. This time, it was taking its foes seriously. The alpha let one or two arrows get by and hit it, so long as it could move closer to its first target.
Ivan.
And as the alpha drew closer every minute, the shaking of the forest and the ground kept getting worse.
And then the crocodiles emerged.
Dozens of them.
From every direction.
At first, they were at the border of the forest and not an immediate threat, and the four kept firing at the alpha.
But then they came closer, and one by one, all of Ivan's friends had to stop firing at the alpha and focus on the immediate threat at their heels.
Which left the alpha free to move at a rapid pace, forcing Ivan to drop his bow and make a run for it, axe in hand.
But where do I go?
There was nowhere safe for Ivan to run.
Ivan looked around and saw his friends being forced to switch to swords now that the reptiles were close and too numerous to fight with bows.
Ivan had his own battle to fight, with a horde of crocodiles and the alpha itself closing in on him, but he couldn't help but worry about his friends.
In the entire dungeon run so far, none of them had taken on a crocodile in melee. He was their tank and had gone into the thick of it with his Unstoppable skill while they had fired at the crocodiles from a safe position.
Ivan saw the four struggle, dodge, and run, and knew they were all regretting that strategy.
Ivan looked around himself and saw that he was surrounded.
There was nowhere to run.
Not for him, and not for his friends.
Ivan winced as he saw Daniel get a grazing bite from a crocodile. He managed to pull his leg out of the way at the last minute, but even the mere graze against the sharp teeth had ripped his calves open.
Ivan looked on with hope as Helena dropped her sword and all her weapons, completely abandoning the mayhem and opting instead to sprint away as fast as she could. It was likely the best choice, but he soon realized that she too was surrounded.
Ivan saw his own death approaching from all sides and felt the noose tightening. The alpha would be upon him any second now.
In those last seconds before his approaching doom, Ivan saw Daniel's leg get caught by a jaw and heard the sound of his bones crunching. Despite all that pain, or perhaps because of it, Daniel screamed and stabbed repeatedly at the crocodile, and the jaw around his leg slackened.
But many more jaws were waiting to take that place and with that foot, Daniel wasn't running anywhere.
In the last seconds before his approaching doom, Ivan saw Helena getting blindsided and tackled by a charging reptile. She was thrown to the ground and surrounded by crocodiles that started biting into her limbs.
Ivan heard her screams but felt powerless to do anything to help.
In the last seconds before his approaching doom, Ivan looked for Alex.
And couldn't find him. He couldn't hear his screams, couldn't see his body getting ripped apart by these monsters, couldn't be there to help him or even to witness.
The irony of my life. Even as I die, the last thing I find myself doing is looking for Alex.
That was Ivan's last thought before the alpha's tail smacked against his head and he fell to the ground.
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Ivan saw Alex.
Ivan saw Alex, his younger brother, and remembered his last memories with him. Ivan had pleaded with his brother, argued with him, scolded him, and insisted that he go to America with the Bensen family.
He had just wanted what was best for him. A Russian orphanage was no place for a child with autism. And so Alex had gone to America, screaming at him as he left.
"I hate you."
Again and again.
In another life, Ivan and Alex would have been adopted together.
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More than a decade later, he had gone to Utah and found no sign of his brother. As he worked in Silicon Valley, Ivan never stopped looking. Until one day he found a decade-old news story connecting missing school children, particularly adopted ones, to an organ trafficking racket.
There was no mention of Alex, no mention of the Bensens, but Ivan knew.
In another life, the Bensens would have been loving adoptive parents, not organ traffickers.
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Ivan remembered having kind, loving, and caring parents.
Until they left in a car one day and never came home.
It was Ivan's birthday, and they had got him a storybook as a present. He had snapped and screamed at them, thrown a huge tantrum, and told them they were the worst parents. He had told them what he thought about their present, and they had gone to the toy store to get Ivan a present he really liked.
Ivan had insisted they get back in time to cut his birthday cake with all his friends.
Ivan and Alex had waited with all their friends, but his parents never came, and Ivan never got to cut his birthday cake with seven candles on it.
Or any other birthday cake ever since.
In another life, Ivan wouldn't have thrown the tantrum that got his parents killed.
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Ivan hated change, but Ivan detested being the catalyst of change more.
If he just went with the flow and let things be, nothing would ever be his fault.
Ivan hated change, but he detested being the harbinger of death more.
Ivan had insisted on getting presents and his parents had died.
Ivan had insisted on sending Alex to the US and his baby brother had paid with his life.
Ivan had chosen to face Alex's bullies, and his brother had to go to the US and suffered a horrible fate alone.
Every time things changed, they changed for the worse.
And on every occasion, it happened because Ivan meddled with things.
He didn't want things to change, but he was afraid of trying to make things stay the same. What if instead of preserving the little good he had left, he made things worse?
So Ivan gave up. He stopped being pushy and stopped insisting on things. Even when he knew he was right, he would not argue long.
Because he was afraid.
What if his arguments would change a bad outcome to a worse one?
He would rather suffer due to his inaction than kill the ones he loved with his actions, because his meddling always makes things worse.
Ivan did not like change, and he did not like being the instrument of change.
So he became Inertia.
And it was for the best.
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But a voice within him fought back. Shouted for him to question himself.
Was it for the best?
Surely, if he had insisted too much and made Daniel change his mind about fighting the alpha, things would have gone worse.
But what could be worse than this?
They were dying, all four of them. His inaction had brought them all deaths. If he had argued, could things have been worse?
Surely there are worse fates than death?
Yes. No?
There may be worse fates than death, but not for them, not in this dungeon. His friends were already dying horribly, getting eaten alive. What could be worse than that?
And this is what his inaction had bought him.
Suffering.
No different from what action always bought him.
Suffering.
I would rather die by inaction than kill by action.
I would rather die by inaction than kill by action.
I would rather die by inaction than kill by action.
So I've chanted all my life. And today I've got my wish. I'm dying by inaction.
But I got more than what I bargained for.
With my inaction and my hesitation, I have sentenced my friends to death too.
I would rather kill by inaction than kill by action.
Would I truly?
None of these questions made a difference.
Ivan was dying, if not already dead.
But if he had one chance to change the outcome, would he take it? Would he finally embrace who he was?
Could he risk it?
Everything wrong in my life has been my fault.
My mother, my father, and my brother listened to me and died.
But today Alex, Helena, Daniel, and I will all die too.
Because I refused to insist, I chose to go with the flow, I chose not to interfere.
Even when I knew we were taking too many risks.
Because I chose to be inertia.
Am I inertia?
NO
I may only have a few moments of conscious thought left, but those seconds won't be filled with apathy. I was never meant to wait and hope and pray for things to stay the same, to not change for the worst. I am not meant to be a spectator in my own life. I will be the harbinger, be it of death and calamity, or life and fortune. And if things don't change for the better, then I will arrest change altogether.
In another life, I would see the future, I would know the result of my actions.
In another life, I would know when to insist and when to back off.
But in this life, I don't know how my presence influences the events around me.
Ivan was resigned to that fact, but he had made his choice.
I don't like change, but the passive stability of inertia is only a flimsy illusion of control.
Not enough
I will influence events around me, I will enforce stability with my presence. Nothing about me is passive. I will be active unchangeability, I will be .....
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Ivan woke up screaming as the alpha took a massive bite off his left thigh.
He was disoriented and his head was throbbing, but then the alpha took a bite off his right thigh as well, and the second surge of intense pain shot Ivan fully back to his senses.
Ivan screamed through the pain as he checked his status and noticed that he had less than 30 health points remaining. A bleeding affliction was steadily reducing that number further.
The alertness from the pain was only momentary, but the pain was permanent. His consciousness faded and Ivan felt his muddle again.
Then a third bite brought the world back into focus.
Ivan wondered how he had survived another bite, certain he would bleed before he would have to feel the pain of another bite again.
He embraced death.
That blessed nothingness would be bliss compared to the dreadful pain he was feeling, but for the moment Ivan was alive and recalled the moments after he got hit in the head.
A fever dream?
Ivan wondered.
Something had transformed within him. Ivan was no longer Inertia.
Finding yourself is a banality Ivan heard repeated so often by self-help gurus online that it had lost all meaning. His licensed therapist had brought it up too, ostensibly to help him find out what he wanted in life now that he was not driven by the singular goal of finding his brother.
But today the word felt real. Ivan felt like he had taken a step toward finding himself today.
Come one step closer to his true self.
A shame that his first step on the path of self-actualization was also his last.
Ivan hadn't seen the notification, but he knew his presence had evolved too. At this moment, the explanation that Martin had given about presences felt a bit clearer.
A shame, Ivan thought again, as he felt himself fade into oblivion.
He knew this time it was permanent. He had too little HP left. He was too tired to resist, too tired to be a hero. But, before he died, he wanted to have one last laugh.
Ivan gritted his teeth and stopped his screams of pain for just an instant and tried to shout at the top of his lungs.
"Stop"
The shout came out as nothing more than a whisper from his dying body, but it was the magnitude of intent that dictated the power of these commands, not the loudness of the voice that spoke it.
And this command carried a lifetime of pent-up emotion, and the world itself bent to Ivan's intent.
Ivan knew none of that, spent and exhausted as he was, and embraced sleep, fully expecting it to be his last.
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It wasn't.
Ivan woke up and coughed up a mixture of blood and healing potion.
Pain.
There was still so much pain.
A panda spoke into his ears, almost unintelligibly.
"Health less."
"Leg bleed."
"Alpha soon."
"Go Helena"
Ivan understood little of what the panda said, both because the panda could not form full sentences, and because Ivan was not fully alert yet. But his presence's words were more than just words. There was an innate understanding that the two shared, and Ivan, even in his current state, realized he should open his status and walk where the panda was pointing.
Character Overview Name Ivan Antonov Race Human (F) Class N/A Level 9 HP 44/290 [Bleeding] MP 220/220 Stamina 250/250 Strength 28 Endurance 25 Dexterity 19 Vitality 29 Intelligence 22 Presence
Name Immutability Level 1
Ivan noticed that his HP was low and that the bleeding affliction was still active.
Leg bleed, as Immutability had succinctly put it.
Immutability, that's what his presence had evolved into. A power to force things into stasis, to turn them incapable of being changed.
Incapable of changing, whether they liked it or not, as evidenced by all the crocodiles Ivan saw as he stumbled his way to Helena, falling every few steps as his legs failed to carry his weight.
A walk through a wax museum, but one with crocodiles instead of celebrities.
Ivan dragged himself through the last stretch before he reached Helena.
The moment he saw her state, his first instinct was to pry her mouth open and feed her the healing potion he took from her belt.
But she was solid as a stone, unmoving.
"Not her."
"Potion you."
Ivan was lucid now and spoke clearly as he protested.
"She is dying."
Immutability replied.
"Not Today."
"Dying Tomorrow."
Ivan processed the emotions he felt emerging from Immutability more than the words, and then he understood. As long as Helena was immutable, she would not die.
And tomorrow she will be mutable, and would surely die without healing potions.
He looked at his stat screen again.
Character Overview Name Ivan Antonov Race Human (F) Class N/A Level 9 HP 31/290 [Bleeding] MP 220/220 Stamina 250/250 Strength 28 Endurance 25 Dexterity 19 Vitality 29 Intelligence 22 Presence
Name Immutability Level 1
Immutability was right, he was losing HP steadily and needed to drink that potion. Or all four of them would die here.
Ivan today.
Everyone else tomorrow.
Ivan understood what he had to do, and drank both the healing potions Helena had on her belt.
Only after the two potions did their magic and reformed his thighs, Ivan dared to look down at his thighs.
"More potion."
Immutability said.
"More potion."
Ivan agreed and walked toward where he had seen Daniel.
Walked, not stumbled or crawled, Ivan mused happily, as the pain faded.
He drank one more healing potion and the bleeding effect stopped. Another half bottle pulled his HP back to 290.
Three and a half potions. Are there any side effects?
Ivan wondered.
"Keep half."
Ivan nodded gratefully, even though he did not need to be told that.
"I'll find Alex now"
Immutability shook his head. A gesture that looked rather cute on a panda.
"No."
"Beast Stirs."
Ivan looked at the alpha and realized that his presence was right.
"Kill fast"
Ivan nodded.
"The moment the effect of immutability wears off, I'll mutate it into two. Head and torso."
Immutability nodded.
"Good joke."
Ivan smiled.
A talking companion that looks like a cute panda, feeds me healing potions when I'm close to death, and appreciates my sense of humor.
I seem to have hit the lottery.
Ivan was all smiles as he walked over to the alpha, all pain gone, all bleeding stopped, and his health full. He held up his axe, ready to strike.
He noticed the moment when the alpha's eyes grew alive again, and struck down his blade in an Unstoppable I infused strike.
The skill didn't take hold. His axe shattered the alpha's scale but did not penetrate it.
Shit. Not again.
Ivan thought as the alpha's jaws snapped around Ivan's legs and tore open his flesh once again.
"STOP."
Ivan desperately shouted, but nothing happened. He did not have enough intent to freeze an alpha that was a level higher than him.
Ivan drank the remaining health potion and started chopping at the alpha with everything he had, while the alpha bit at the skin that tried to reknit itself.
Two full-powered axe chops later, Ivan felt the alpha's scales crack completely and saw vulnerable flesh underneath. By now his leg was almost as bad as the last time around.
"Duck."
Ivan heard his presence shout, and he did so.
The alpha's tail passed right over his head.
Before the alpha's tail had a chance to circle around again, Ivan dug his axe into its brain and fell over exhausted.
"No sleep."
"Find Alex."
What an annoying panda.
Ivan thought and reconsidered his earlier statement about winning the lottery. Then he got up with a grunt and dragged himself around the clearing, trying to find Alex while his right leg bled.
"I'll bleed out if I keep moving. You find Alex and tell me."
Immutability replied.
"Can't go"
Can't go far from me.
Ivan understood and resigned himself to searching for Alex himself while his blood dripped and his HP dropped.
At last, on the verge of death, Ivan found Alex.
And only one healing potion.
Ivan winced as he recalled that Alex had drunk the first one after the crocodile had ambushed them the moment they stepped into the dungeon.
That's when Ivan had got his Unstoppable I skill. A skill that he had lost now that Inertia was Immutability.
Ivan looked at his leg. One potion wasn't going to be enough, not even close. A part of him wondered if he could stitch up some of the flesh, a bit of surgery to help the healing potion work better.
But he had neither the equipment, nor the know-how to do that.
Most importantly, he did not have the willpower.
What I've felt today is enough pain for a lifetime.
Ivan thought as he wondered why he ever wanted to be a tank.
If this is what being a tank is going to involve, it wasn't a life he looked forward to.
He gulped down the entire healing potion, and his leg started to heal visibly.
By the time it had stopped healing, the pain had reduced noticeably, but the bleeding affliction was still there.
Immutability pointed to a dark portal at the center of the clearing.
"Exit."
Ivan nodded and carried the three bodies close to the exit one by one.
Then he lugged them all and stumbled out of the dungeon and fell exhausted on the cellar floor.