The Han

Later on they lied together on the floor of the entrance corridor but the temperature was dropping fast, “I’m freezing” Barry said, and then picked Eugenie up with extravagant ease to drop her on her bed. They disappeared under the thick blankets and rolled into a ball of arms and legs.

Eugenie welcomed the sheltering feeling of the darkness of the room, “I can’t believe that you never used the front door before” she whispered

“I have to say I used it quite epically today” they both burst into laughter like two children after a booger joke. Terence jumped on the far corner of the bed and started licking one of his paws. “Your cat has watched you sleep with a lot of guys?” Barry asked, lifting her hand in front of his eyes to admire her fingers in the bit of light that diffused from the hallway.

She laughed lightly, “what do you mean a lot of guys?”

“I mean… guys”

“No one that he liked very much”

“I think he likes me very much. But also, you like me very much” he said, “you’ve wanted me for a long long time” Eugenie elbowed him in the ribs under the covers and he recoiled, “aiille, fuck, I’m joking I’m joking dammit!” he dropped her hand and raised his in rendition, “I know you have a heart of stone, no feelings. No feelings for me”

She pulled him back against her, “and you have feelings for me?”

“Tons of feelings” he said simply, “you’re driving me completely nuts”

“Isn’t it a bit weird, Barry?”

“What’s weird” he recaptured her hand and intertwined his fingers into hers

“That you are into older women”

He sighed, saddened at how unintelligent she was, “I’m not into older women, I’m into you” he didn’t let her retort anything, went on, “and you’re into me?”

“It just occurred to me, yes” The heat of his skin was radiating through her, an untamed pulse emanating from him even in this position of rest, and she felt some tears sting their way up to her sinuses again. Was this life force she could feel coming from the Bolt, or Barry? They were lying on the bed where he had ended up on that fateful Friday night after appearing at her window, bleeding and limping.

On this bed, she had done her best to fix him, heal his wounds, sow him back together, keep him alive and hydrated and pumping, against some alarming odds. He had endured so much here, surrendered his fate to her, he had curled into a burning dot of pain here, waited for those endless seconds of torment to be over, turned into minutes, hours, days. He had been ill, thrown up sometimes inside the puke bucket, if she was fast enough, sometimes all over himself; he had urinated in the sheets, begged her for her forgiveness, ‘I don’t mind at all those things Barry, I’m a nurse’

‘You’re a teacher’ he had shed tears of deep shame on those awful occasions

‘Oh, so now I’m a teacher’ she had teased him, wishing to lift his spirits, ‘it’s whatever you want whenever you want, apparently’

‘I’m so sorry’ he had cried openly, overwhelmed by perdition and hopelessness

‘What’s there to be sorry about. You’ll be super clean again in five minutes, I’ll take care of it’

‘Really?’

‘I needed to do some laundry anyway, you see? You read my mind’

‘How are you not disturbed?’

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‘That’s the part that I was good at, when I was an intern, you know, sitting people and tending to them’

‘And what’s the part that you were bad at?’

She had chuckled, ‘actual medicine’ They had finally laughed out loud

Eugenie blinked back into the present moment. We have been through so much, she thought, he has made me feel strong, worthy.

“It just occurred to you that you are into me?” Barry faced her and kissed her on the nose, a million miles away from her reminiscence. He smelled like car pollution, like skin, like the rubber of his suit, like a warm croissant.

“Yes maybe” she lied. She felt his smile, even if she couldn’t see it. She was smiling too, “Just now” she lied more, “just when you uh… opened the door and appeared in your new superhero ensemble” Lies lies lies

“I think you are full of shit but whatever, tell me”

“Tell you what”

“What do you like about me” Barry asked, holding her tighter. Under the palm of her hand, she could feel one of the scars on his left arm, just below his shoulder, a bump of rougher skin.

“You are… a fascinating person”

“I am a fascinating person” he repeated doubtfully

“You have uh… great energy”

He clicked his tongue, “that’s literally like, my job”

“You are very… resilient, inspiring”

He fabricated a yawn, pretending he was bored to death, “resilient and inspiring, wow”

“Charming”

“ENOUGHuh” he seized her by the arms and rolled her on top of him, “tell mee”

“OKAY” Eugenie laughed generously, buried her face in his chest and covered the back of her skull with her hands, “you’re very handsome”

“Look at me”

She did and she couldn’t stop grinning, “you are a very handsome guy”

“Yes?”

“You are very hot”

“Finally, the truth”

“What can I say” she rested her chin on his sternum, looking up at him.

“And you are a gorgeous woman. I’ve been liking you for a long time”

“REALLY oh my god like how long” Now that was becoming interesting. She thought, how long, have you lived under my roof and thinking about sleeping together like this, you little motherfucker?

“I didn’t like, wake up one morning with a crush on you and mark my calendar about it” he said, “for a while, just a while but here” he led her hand to the right side of his chest, “can you feel my heart beat so strong for you?”

“Barry the heart is on the other side”

“I have a confession to make”

She sighed, “I cannot be worse than all the nonsense I have already heard”

“I didn’t meet my Team mates tonight. I was too chicken”

Eugenie sat on the bed, looked down at him, “you didn’t make contact”

Barry nodded, pulled on her shoulder to force her to lie back in front of him. He tucked the right sides of her hair behind her ear, “I acted from afar, they saw me, but I didn’t give them the chance to approach me”

“How did you manage that?”

“Remember, I’m very fast” his smile was so irresistible.

“But… Uberwoman?”

“Even Uberwoman cannot catch up with me if I put a lot of heart in the race. Listen, I’m worried about my Team, I’m worried about the droids who tried to isolate me and kill me. I need to investigate and see if those robots are after the bolting power, or something more sinister, especially after the gear they brought tonight”

Eugenie felt her body was softy shaking, jolted by a soft shake every thirty seconds or so, although she wasn’t cold, “was it like in Dune, some Harkonnen stuff?”

“It was exactly like in Dune” They burst out laughing at their goofiness and it took them a while to calm down. Terence decided the covers were too wriggly to his taste and changed spot to his bean bag.

“What are you saying, Barry?” Something flashed and zoomed in her mind’s eye field of perception, so quickly that she almost missed it, and so faint that she almost moved on and relegated to the past. She understood why the thought had been so feral and so timid when she grabbed it by the next. It was the concern that she didn’t want to live in a world where she couldn’t see Barry’s face and Barry’s smile, or hear his laughter, or stick against his warm skin. You’re disgusting, she heard from her inside voice.

“I’m going to go see for myself, alone”

“Barryy” her heart had started at a reasonable trot, now it was fully galloping, “why not with the others?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know, I have this bad feeling about involving the rest of the Team”

“And I have this bad feeling from the last time you were alone with those things” Was she raising her voice? She mustn’t. Eugenie closed her eyes. She knew better than to antagonize Barry Masquevert, which was as useless as adding a small fire to a bigger blaze in order to extinguish it.

“Noo” he chuckled as if it was the most absurd thought in the whole world, “I’ll be super-careful. Those motherfuckers will never catch me off guard again. Plus, I have my phone. I’ll call you every day to reassure you”

“I hate speaking on the phone”

“Alright, I’ll send you a Snapchat”

“Every day… how many days will your mission last?”

“Maybe a week” he said. Eugenie’s hand followed the contour of Barry’s left shoulder, descended towards his elbow. She had never felt such a pull of desire in her existence, such a draw to someone’s body. Or soul.

You make me sick, the voice spoke again, appalled.

“A week?”

“I have a plan. Maybe you can pack me some lunches?”

“Some lun— Barry! Hear me now…” Her hand tightened on his arm. This was an alternative to speaking more strictly, which didn’t have an effect on him: she would grab him closer and hope he felt the emotion coming out of her.

“Yes”

“If you die… I will kill you”