There has been a rise in freaky parrots this week. The parrots are now gaslighting people and hurting them. Lord, help us all; the parrots are taking over.

NEXT ON THIS WEEKS NEWS

Ugly little sisters are now taking over the parrots, and when I say ugly, I mean, UGLY.

They typically wear glasses and look like dumb nerds. They also wear lip gloss and ugly outfits. They start by watching the parrots and then mimicking them. Lord, God, we REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!

That’s all for this week's news. Come back next time as we cover baby pandas eating bamboo.

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“Im not gonna hurt you…” The parrot said, slowly making his way to the woman.

“Barley…” she said, backing up. “I’m afraid you’re gonna bite my toes.”

“Come here. Nooooo… “ Barley told her, in hopes of biting her toes. “I’m not gonna hurt you!” he repeated.

Backing up once more, the older woman made enough room for Barley to come in and bite her toes.

Barley made his move.

Flying in and making his way for her toes, he barely missed as she shot back, dodging his beak.

“See? Barley, you just tried to bite my toes!” she shouted, grief riddling her voice.

Barley wasn't done. He wouldn't give up just yet; he was determined to bite her toes. His red eyes gleamed with intent. “I’m not gonna hurt you… “ he assured her. “Come here.”

“No, Barley I’m afraid you're going to bite my toes.” She was worried. She didn't want to lose her toes. I like my toes!! She internally cried.

“No… “ he repeated. “I won’t hurt you. Come here.” His voice shook with malicious intent. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Inching his way toward the woman, he was suddenly jerked back and brought into the air.

“I got him!” a voice cried. The man called Wilson held him up triumphantly. “Lucy! Get the cage!” he called out to the cowering woman.

Lucy popped up from behind a couch and looked to see Barley captive.

“Okay!” Lucy ran, returning moments later with a metal birdcage. Reaching out to place Barley in, he could stop his imprisonment with his foot, but only for a moment before he was shoved in.

Locking up the cage and ensuring it was secure, Wilson and Lucy left the room, but Barley wasn't done just yet. He needed revenge. He needed them to trust him. He needed to get close to them to believe he was safe, and then we would go in for the bite.

He sat there, looking in the mirror, plotting his revenge. I will get them eventually. I will get their toes as planned. But as punishment for locking me up, I will get their fingers too.

—-

After days of plotting and scheming, Barley came up with the perfect plan. He knew exactly how to get it started, and his plan was flawless. (Unless humans become even smarter than they’re supposed to be.)

“OWW!!” Barley screamed. “Help me!” he cried even louder.

Lucy and Wilson came rushing in. “Barley?” they said simultaneously. They stopped and stared for a moment. His wing was caught in the bars.

“Help me!” he cried again. Running to get a pair of gloves for protection, Lucy asked in a hushed tone, “Do you really think he’s stuck? Think he might be faking it?”

“He might be, but if he isn't and we just leave him there, we’ll be awful people, won't we?” Wilson said in a stern tone.

All according to plan… Barley thought. He would smirk if he could, but his anatomy won’t let him.

“Barley…” Lucy said timidly, “You’re gonna have to let me help you, so you can’t bite me.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Barley didn’t say anything but instead looked back at Lucy and Wilson with eyes filled with innocence. Lucy looked back, studying his eyes. Her heart filled with a whirlwind of emotions seeing him that way.

Finding her courage, she unlocked the cage, and to her surprise, Barley didn’t move. Wilson stood behind Lucy, ready to catch a flying bird.

I could attempt to exact my revenge right now, Barley thought, but the gloves they wear would stop me. Plus, the man in the back will catch me.

Lucy lifted Barley, weary he might bite. He didn’t. Shocked he let her help; she held him in the air, a smile reaching to her ears. Barley let out a feeble caw, and Lucy’s excitement died quickly.

“Oh, poor Barley,” she said in soothing tones. “It’ll be alright. We’re gonna get you all fixed and checked out.”

Lucy brought Barley to Wilson’s office. “I’m not seeing anything wrong with him.” Wilson said, inspecting his wing, “We’ll have to take him to the vet for further care.”

Barley hated the vet, but if he wanted his revenge, it would be worth it. They placed Barley in another cage, but this time he didn’t struggle, leaving Lucy and Wilson skeptical of what was happening.

I thought they might feel that way. Barley perceived, studying their expressions. Looks like they won’t believe a sudden change overnight.

The drive to the vet was long (at least to Barley), and the roads were bumpy. By the time they arrived, Barley had fallen asleep, dreaming about his revenge.

Barley awoke to voices all around: dogs barking, cats meowing, and, worst of all, the vet.

I hate her. Barley thought Her, stupid ‘Dr. Linda’ tag, her dumb gloves, and her terrible medicines. The vet pulled him out wearing a thick pair of gloves. Barley cawed weakly, lightly flapping his ‘injured’ wing, avoiding the temptation to bite the gloves.

“I see there's been progress.” Linda smiled.

“Not quite… But this morning he was yelling, ‘Help me!’ and we found his wing caught in the bars. He wasn’t willing to bite or attack.“ Wilson said.

“I see.” Linda noted, checking how it moved, “It doesn’t look broken.”

Barley knew that if he didn’t react, his plan would be foiled. Linda lifted his wing, and he let out a cry.

“Oh dear.” Lucy worried. ”Is he going to be okay?”

“I think so.” Linda said, “I can’t see anything wrong with it from the outside, so we’ll do a few scans to make sure nothing is broken.”

Leaning down closer to Barley, her glasses fell to her nose. I can’t change overnight. Barley thought, going in to bite her nose.

Linda jerked back. “Well, he’s certainly still Barley,” she laughed. “Let’s get you scanned.”

I can’t believe I'm doing this. I should be fighting for my freedom! Not letting the vet have it’s way... And I missed her nose. Barley would revolt, but his anatomy won’t let him.

Dr. Linda scanned Barley and found nothing wrong. “He must have strained his wing,” she said, placing Barley down on the scale. “And a healthy weight.”

“Oh, that is wonderful news!” Lucy exclaimed.

“Thanks!” Wilson smiled and began to take Barley, ungloved.

I should just give him a quick nip; you can’t change overnight! Barley joyously thought.

“OUCH!” Wilson winced. “You’re Barley, alright… “ Slipping on the gloves and picking him up, Barley chose to nip once more at the gloves.

They made their way home, and Barley winced every time they touched his wing.

“How do you think it happened?” Lucy asked.

“He was probably just trying to get out but got caught in the bars,” Wilson said, locking Barley up.

His plan was in motion. And it was working. The next day, Barley set the plan into phase two.

Lucy opened the cage door just enough to slide her hand through.

“I hope you’re feeling better today,” she feebly smiled.

Let’s do this. Barley thought. He jumped on Lucy’s arm, and she froze.

“Um… Wilson!” she called. Wilson came running in and stopped his jaw open wide when he saw them.

“Is Barley?-” he questioned.

“He’s just sitting there,” Lucy spoke in a monotone voice, but her face was full of excitement.

“Think there’s something in the food you’ve started feedin’ him?” Wilson asked, blinking his eyes in disbelief.

“What do you mean?” Lucy hadn’t taken her eyes off Barley for even a moment.

“Think there’s something in it that makes birds nice?” he asked.

Barley flapped his ‘injured’ wing lightly. Humans are so dumb. Or I'm just too smart. He’d smirk, but his anatomy won’t let him.

“I’m going to try and bring him out.” Lucy mouthed.

“I don’t think that's a very good idea… “ Wilson whispered worriedly. “Remember what happened last time you tried?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Lucy said, her eyes still never leaving Barley. Carefully and slowly, Barley was lifted from the cage.

Birds don’t change overnight! Barley thought, hopping off Lucy’s arm. I’d fly, but I’m supposed to have strained my wing…

“Barley!” Wilson shouted, “Get back here!”

Barley ran across the room. “Can’t catch me!” He shouted, “Can’t catch me!”

“Barley!” Lucy screamed, “Please! Come back!” Lucy was worried. She heard what Barley had been through. She knew his story and only wanted to help him.

She had to help him. She couldn't live unless she did something.