> You used to captivate me by your resonating light
> Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
> Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
> Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
> These wounds won't seem to heal,
> This pain is just too real
> There's just too much that time cannot erase
> When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
> When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
> And I held your hand through all of these years
> But you still have all of me
>
> I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
> But though you're still with me,
> I've been alone all along
Evanescence - “My Immortal”
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“...so tell me, just how fragile is this ‘Alliance’?” Leandra Singh challenged the two commanders. “If it comes to a showdown between the Tetrarchy and Chugaz Uydan, will you both stand with us? Or will you be too busy tearing each other to pieces?”
Admiral Fujimoto and Dhyaksh Jiyazh Ghuuyaz eyed each other, something that did not go unnoticed by the Prime Minister. Nor did the room full of armed humans and Khonhim behind them.
“That’s an excellent question, Prime Minister,” Hélène mused. “You know where I stand.”
“I do, Admiral...but you know what they say about a bird in the hand.” Leandra steepled her fingers as she marshaled her thoughts. “Chugaz Uydan’s forces are the greater threat, but the ships under Jiyazh’s command are the same ones that shattered your fleet. Are you certain you’re not thinking about getting a little payback? Perhaps, when his attention is elsewhere?”
Jiyazh raised an appraising eyebrow as the Admiral stiffened in her seat. “Prime Minister, I can assure you I understand my priorities. Whatever personal feelings I may have on the subject, my duty is to protect the Tetrarchy at all costs.” She turned and faced the Khonhim warrior once more. “After the battle, however...we shall see.”
The Prime Minister’s professional face was firmly clamped down as she took that in, before turning to Jiyazh. “And you, Dhyaksh?”
“Unless we destroy Chugaz Uydan’s forces, my life, and the lives of those sworn to my banner, are forfeit. I have as much an interest in seeing him defeated as you do.” His face was neutral as regarded Hélène once more. “But the Admiral raises an interesting point, in her less-than-subtle way. Assuming we are victorious...what happens then?”
“Ideally? We sit down across the negotiating table, and try to come to some agreement...something more formal than ‘You don’t bother us, and we won’t bother you’.” She sighed, as she leaned back in her chair. “You’ve seen how well that worked out. I won’t expose the Tetrarchy to that folly again. This time, either we come to an arrangement that satisfies both sides, or…”
“Ah…” Jiyazh murmured, with an enigmatic smile. “Or else the situation becomes…interesting.”
“Indeed,” Leandra said. “I would very much like to avoid that possibility, Dhyaksh. That being said, the safety and security of those I have sworn to protect is my only priority. If we cannot find a peaceful solution to our dilemma...then I will order our forces to prosecute this war, to its ultimate conclusion. Don’t think for a moment that I won’t.”
“I believe you, Prime Minister,” Jiyazh replied. “But let us leave aside for the moment whether or not you can.” He raised his hand in a placating gesture as Hélène pushed back her chair. “A question for another time. At the moment, we have a battle to plan.”
“Yes, we do,” the Prime Minister replied after a moment. “And you still maintain that Chugaz Uydan is heading for the Chennoor Cluster?”
“That is correct,” Jiyazh agreed, “or perhaps, it is better to say we have not come up with a more likely target.”
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Leandra nodded and then turned to Hélène. “And you, Admiral? Do you concur?”
She gave the Khonhim commander a piercing stare, before answering. “After reviewing the data provided, I find myself in tentative agreement with that conclusion. Given what we know of Chugaz Uydan and his motives, and the current situation, it seems to be his most probable course of action.”
“I just can’t shake the feeling we’re being set up,” Leandra grimaced, “but anything else would only be a guess.” She took a deep breath and gave them a curt nod. “Very well. We will proceed on that assumption.”
None of the principals appeared happy with that decision, but none of them had anything better to offer. They sketched out a rough battle plan, but given the number of unknowns, anything more specific was doomed to failure. Even if everything broke their way, there would still be a great deal of adapting on the fly to make it work.
As the meeting prepared to break up, Leandra’s features softened. She looked to each of the commanders and asked, “How’s he taking it?”
Admiral Fujimoto bowed her head. “As well as can be expected.”
Jiyazh nodded. “In the space of two days, he has lost the two people most important to him. I fear the news may have dealt him a mortal blow.”
Leandra frowned. “I couldn’t help but notice his absence. Where is he now?”
“In his quarters,” Hélène replied. “He has asked to be left undisturbed.”
“Alone?” she asked. “Are you sure that’s wise?”
“We’re keeping an eye on him. Discreetly,” the Admiral blurted out. “We’ll do our best to prevent him from doing anything…rash.”
“Thank you for that,” Leandra whispered. “I doubt our last conversation helped the situation any.”
“I believe that is the last thing on his mind, Prime Minister,” Jiyazh told her. “We have spoken only a handful of words since he received the news, but I suspect he blames himself for both their deaths. At the moment, that is weighing far heavier on his mind.”
Leandra sighed. “He never wanted this...any of it,” she said. “I dragooned him and Raichret both into service because I needed them, and given the same circumstances I’d do it again.” She sighed once again and shook her head. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t regret the necessity. Or the cost.” She stared out at them from her office. “Look after him, will you?”
“I will,” Hélène and Jiyazh said simultaneously, before looking at one another in surprise.
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Nassat knelt in the center of his quarters, his head bent in prayer, dressed in the robes he once wore as an Acolyte. The familiar sensation of cloth often helped him to meditate, when serenity refused to come. A single candle flickered before him as he struggled to find some sense of peace, some quiet atoll of tranquility he could cling to in his darkest moments.
But no matter how hard he tried, he could not find the stillness he so desperately searched for.
For hours he had knelt there, refusing both food and drink, as he sought the answers to the questions that tore at his soul. Why? Hadn’t he given enough? Hadn’t he done all that had been asked of him and more?
...why did Raichret have to die?
The silence of the universe mocked him, refusing to answer. Had the Creator turned his back on him? Was her death punishment, for some transgression? He wanted to scream, to rend his robes in anguish, to smash and crush and burn...but instead, he simply wept silent tears.
“...it’s not your fault, you know.”
Nassat’s head whipped up in shock, searching the room for the source of that voice. His eyes widened when he saw the human female Tango, perched on a chair, watching him with placid eyes. He had not heard the door open or her enter his quarters, it was almost as if she had simply materialized out of thin air.
“What are you doing here?” he said. “I left instructions not to be disturbed.”
“Being alone is the last thing you need,” she replied, “and wallowing in self-pity won’t bring either of them back.”
“Get out,” he snapped...only his words seemed to have no effect on her.
“The first time I met you on Uzaunx, I didn’t think you’d last a week, let alone the war,” she reminisced with a wry smile. “But you surprised me...and that doesn’t happen often.” Tango leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. “There is more to you, Nassat, than meets the eye.”
Nassat rose to his feet, his stiff limbs crying out in protest, as he faced her. “Why are you here?” he demanded once again. “I do not need someone to hold my hand.”
“I could say I’m here because someone has to be,” she replied after a moment’s thought. “Or perhaps I could say that it’s in my best interest to ensure my commander doesn’t suffer a meltdown.” Her hard-edged expression was nowhere to be found, making her seem years younger. “Or maybe...it’s because I’ve been there myself.”
He stared at her in confusion. “In all the years I have known you, you have barely spoken two sentences to me in the same sitting,” he got out. “So why do you open up to me now?”
“Because of what’s coming,” she whispered. “When we face Chugaz Uydan in battle, we’ll need you at your best. And right now, you’re no good to any of us.” The familiar stern visage was back now, as she rose to her feet.
“Time to cowboy the fuck up,” she said, heading for the door. “Once more unto the breach, Nassat. Once more.”
And then she left, without another word.