From the archives of Ar'tht'ak, Galactic Science Mission

Telepathically recorded from S'ndal Squad Jr. Ensign Kra'akt

Gifted to humans as part of Galactic uplift protocol

"S'ndal, report."

The words floated by, but they didn't register.

We weren't even meant to be on this stupid little planet. Just a scouting mission, picking up stray signals off a hydro world. Unusual, as liquid hydroxygen was usually fatal to most things. Planets abundant in it were too dense, too cold, not enough proper gasses, life couldn't form without the proper levels of heat. And to top it off, there was never enough landmass, creatures that did evolve on hydro worlds were endlessly fighting over resources.

"S'ndal, report!"

I was all that was left.

The closer we got to the planet, the more dubious it seemed that we would find anything of scientific significance. The world orbited a yellow star, for one. A mere 200 million miles from it, no less, bathed in constant, unending radiation, it was an inner planet, well inside the boundaries of the system's asteroid belt.

"S'ndal squad, report!"

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak, elsewise the beast might hear me, discover me, uncover me... Discover and uncover my innards, as it had my companions.

Two, the composition of the atmosphere was mostly nitrogen, and get this, OXYGEN. We scoffed, of course. Nothing could be alive on this oceanic nightmare. The atmosphere alone would be hostile to every living thing in the known universe. Oxygen is caustic and reactive. It bonds to and chemically neutralizes virtually everything it touches. There's a reason we expel it from our bodies. We had a good laugh, calling this dirt ball "fartworld." Our scientists spent a long time arguing about what could cause a planet to even have so much oxygen, and all we could come up with was literally trillions of beings farting. Farting all the time, all at once, every single second of time for millions, if not billions of astronomical units of time.

The signals we picked up had to be from an old satellite or stranded and likely long dead colony effort.

Or so we thought. The closer we got, the stronger the signals became. At first, they were basically static, but as we meandered our way through the quadrant, searching planets and moons for potential resource sites, they began to take form.

Language, sometimes deep and guttural, other times melodic and light. Screams, flashes of light. Grayscale images of beings that must be fantastical, towering 2, 3 times the height of all known species in the Galaxy. They looked soft. They lacked claws, fangs, carapace, or an exoskeleton of any kind. They seemed weak, soft, stupid. We assumed it was some kind of program for children...

Except it was every image. They were in every image. The closer we drew, the sharper the images got. They became colorized. The sound grew clearer, the static all but faded. We began to recognize early mobile technology, computer rendered images.

"S'NDAL SQUAD, REPORT!" I winced as my commander's grating voice squawked loud enough to be picked up by my opposite tymp.

That did it. The room grew quiet, still. The ragged, labored breathing that had been filling the room quelled for a moment as it realized that the hunt was not yet over.

I heard shuffling, and then cupboard doors banging, piles of debris being moved.

My eyestalks withdrew into my carapace instinctively. I was gonna die, there wasn't a fucking chance that I was going to survive this. This fucking thing pulled us apart with nothing but it's soft looking little limbs. No tools, no weapons. It was the weapon...

"We can't stay here much longer, S'ndal squad, did you capture the specimen?"

Eventually, we realized this wasn't something we could ignore. Unlikely sentient beings were still sentient beings, and we had a duty to investigate.

We came up on the dark side of the planet, and stood in awe. It was a jewel in the darkness. Light covered every surface, flowing, glittering, unmistakably artificial light.

The images we received from the surface were disturbing. This was a species constantly at war with itself, much like our own past. They hadn't encountered the singularity or the advent yet. Despite this, there were obvious signs of coordinated efforts and civilization. They were in their infancy but could be uplifted yet.

Nothing about their biology made sense. To our surprise, we found traces of an infonet, but attempting to access it was strange and confusing. None of our protocols could interface with it. Much of what was locked behind passwords and required "profiles." It was deemed too dangerous to attempt creation of these "profiles," lest we cause planet wide panic.

The sites we were most able to reliably download from was something called "Wikipedia," but so much of it was in technical jargon that reading through it required reading 20-30 articles to understand anything but the most basic of concepts.

Another site was "Reddit," and seemed to be an odd mixture of pictures of something called "cats" and videos of the dominant species engaging in sexual acts.

After a few orbits of the planet, it became increasingly obvious that the species greatly enjoyed fictionalized, serialized versions of events. Some "documentaries" indicated that "Abraham Lincoln" was a great and admirable figure for his public works, and was instrumental in ending slavery in his tribe. Another claimed that he hunted "Vampires," a bloodsucking boogeyman. As such, we could glean next to nothing useful from watching their "Television broadcasts."

A decision was made to capture a few individuals.

BAM.

The creature had noticed the cage in the center of the room, and knelt by it, calling out. Soft whimpers came from within.

The creature screamed in frustration, kicking at the device. I shrunk deeper into the corner I had pushed myself into.

"S'ndal! Report or be stranded!"

We had captured male and female specimens, and none seemed to be any threat to us. They were soft, weak, grueling, pathetic creatures. They cried and whimpered and begged under our tools as we explored their biological components.

They had no cybernetic enhancements. No signs of genetic engineering. They were riddled with genetic disease, frailties, mortal defects, allergies, deficiencies, deformities, and parasites.

They were made of, and ate CARBON. Can you imagine? Carbon! They couldn't process silicates at all. And they truly did breathe oxygen and drink hydroxygen. We proved hundreds of years' worth of scientific theories in mere days. It was unprecedented.

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BAM! BAM! BAM! The kicking intensified. I glanced at the doorway. Maybe I could inch my way past while it was occupied with the cage.

I took a tentative step sideways, still pressing myself against the wall, sliding between it and the massive metal machine they used to keep their carbon-based food cold.

We collected hundreds of samples of life. We discovered that it was plants that created the oxygen levels we found in the atmosphere. We discovered more species in our few days on "Earth" than we might in several decade-long explorations of other planets. There was a multitude of life, predator, prey, symbiotic, and parasitic, constantly in Flux and harmony. We could learn so much from this world.

But none so much as we could from these humans. They were sentient and capable of describing their experience as a completely foreign type of life.

Our crew didn't have the resources for a long expedition. After a couple of days, we had taken all we could and it was time for us to leave. We would return to the council, present our findings, and within a few short cycles, surely, welcome humanity to the stars.

To secure this amazing species a seat, however, we would need to present a living specimen. Unfortunately, our hypersleep protocols proved fatal, and human lifespans were a few years shy of the journey it would take to reach the central hub worlds.

We decided that in the best interest of humanity, we would need...

The whimpers from the box grew more fervent, as the creature inside realized a friendly was nearby.

We would need a child. A child could survive the trip. Kept alive by reconditioning one of our matter dispensers and cured of any genetic conditions by our medical AI.

What we had observed of human children was that they were useless, and Reddit had shown a particular distaste towards them, claiming that they were loud, obnoxious, stupid and fulfilled no social tasks or needs whatsoever, and it took them 15-20 solar cycles before they became anything other than a drain on everything and everyone around them.

It was apparent that they wouldn't be missed, and would serve our needs perfectly.

It was supposed to be uneventful. We picked a home we knew to have a young child, perhaps 2 or 3 solar cycles in age. We had taken the mother previously a few nights earlier, for a few hours of tests and observations, then returned unharmed and unaware. Their minds were incredibly easy to wipe.

We took the child relatively simply. Stasis field, a small cage. We tried to maneuver the cage back out through the window, how we had came in, but couldn't make it fit. The window in the child's room only opened a small amount. Plenty for us to get through, but not for the child sized cage. We opted to travel through the home and out the front door. Everything went smoothly, until we reached the kitchen.

Laying in the middle of the floor, was what humans called a "dog." Upon sighting us, it leapt to its feet and began making a horrifying noise. A "bark." We had all seen recordings, but directly in your face was something I could never had been prepared for.

Al'thuk, panicking, raised his rifle and fired. There was a yelp, the scent of seared carbon, and the dog thudded to the floor at the same time the corner of the cage that Al'thuk had been maintaining hit the floor.

The stasis field shuddered and shut down, the child within staring at us for a moment, before it began to scream.

"Mommy! Mommy! Monsters mommy, monsters!"

We heard rapid footsteps coming down the stairwell.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

"Take out the male, we can capture the female and take her with us," Team lead S'ny'gal said quickly. We dropped the cage, the child crying out as it fell to the floor.

The lights in the room flicked on, and two adult humans stared at us in horror, their eyes traveling between us, their dead dog, and their imprisoned child.

As S'ny'gal had predicted, it was the male that leapt into action. Two quick shots put him down.

The female froze in terror, staring at us. As I watched her binocular eyes, I could swear a flicker of recognition appeared deep within them.

S'ny'gal spoke, his translator mangling the humans speech. "Surrender or face same fate as mate."

Her eyes surveyed the room again, taking in her now desolate home.

"Mommy!" The child cried out once more and pain flashed across the female's face.

S'ny'gal barked again, "Surrender or we kill..." and this time, lowered his gun toward the child.

I couldn't even process what happened next. There was a flash, and a scream, and suddenly I was covered in hot, sticky innards as S'ny'gal was torn in half. The female screamed in rage, tossing his limp form to either side of the room before rounding on the rest of the team.

I froze, my weapon clattering to the floor. I had never even been trained on how to turn the safety off.

I crouched to the floor, covering my head with my claws. A foot the size of my self collided with me, sending me flying. I landed near the cooling unit, and frantically jammed myself into the slight opening.

Unfortunately, the motion had twisted my head so I had a full view of the carnage happening in the human household.

The precision of the human was astounding. It kicked at Kly'g'dak, shattering his carapace with the impact and sending his corpse into the wall, turning him into paste, nothing that was left was remotely recognizable as an Ar'tht'ak.

Lk'an'tak tried to jump and flutter away, but the female snagged him out of the air, and crushed him with a single squeeze before slapping Kr'k so hard that he tumbled into the wash basin on the counter. He screamed as the hydroxygen and the emulsifiers humans used as cleaning solution clung to his skin, dragging him below the surface.

Several members managed to get off shots, but the female seemed unfazed, small holes appearing in her abdomen and thighs, smoking as they cauterized shut, she didn't even seem to feel them.

Ar'kn'tagh, our lone female, activated her camoflauge and attempted to run, and made it halfway to the door. The human grabbed a container from the counter which said "RAID" on the side, pointed at Ar'kn'tagh; how she could see her, I have no idea, and squeezed a trigger. A fine stream of some kind of liquid flew through the air and struck Ar'kn'tagh in the back of the head. The substance ate right through her helmet at a rapid rate. Her high pitched shrieks grew louder with each passing second as I saw her neural tissue become exposed. As it ate through her nervous system, her shrieks slowly became gurgles, until finally, she slumped to the floor, an empty expression in her eyes, despite still breathing.

The female walked over and stomped what was left of Ar'kn'tagh flat.

Now it was my turn. Despite a brief respite, my commander's panicked yelling had alerted the human to my presence.

You see, she hadn't ever forgotten that I was there. As I tried to slowly sneak my way from behind the cooling unit, I heard a crash above me. The human shoved the great unit sideways and towered above me, staring down.

Her great and massive hand swooped down and enveloped me. I bit and thrashed and clawed, and even though bright red blood appeared, it did not flinch.

It raised me up and settled those terrible eyes on mine.

"I remember you!" Despite being a higher pitch, the human's voice nearly shattered my tymp.

"I know you understand me. You were kind to me before. You brought me water. You didn't shoot at me."

Had I interacted with this female? It was true that I had brought a few of them water when they asked for it. All other members of the team had been too frightened to handle the substance.

"How do I unlock this? How do I get my baby out?"

The translator wasn't getting this one.

I shook my head, not understanding. It's grip tightened and I felt my carapace crack. "Please, you're hurting me." I cried, hoping the translator would send the meaning properly.

Her grip loosened slightly. She marched over to the cage, and set me down beside it.

"Open it," she pointed.

Oh.

Quickly, I punched in the release code, and the side swung open. The child rolled out, and the human female crouched down and scooped it off the floor.

"Monsters mommy!" The child cried again.

The female studied me for a moment, and then pointed at the ground. "Equipment."

I shed my gun, my translator and my vest as quickly as I could, not wanting to get stomped on. I kept my helmet on though, and she pointed again, but I waved my claws. "I can't, I can't breathe and my people can't find me without it."

The translator barked a weak "No, need air. No, lost, no help."

She nodded, then pointed at the door. "Out."

Didn't need a translator for that one. I had never run or flown so quickly in my life.

Written Addendum, from the personal logs of Terran Ambassador Kra'akt'Shak'kt:

It felt like hours, but I was told later it was only seconds that our ship locked onto me, swooping down and landing before me.

I was ushered in and debriefed.

I could tell my colleagues didn't believe my story, but after reviewing my helmet footage, they had no choice.

I retired to the medical bay, and was deactivated for a few days. Upon awakening, I was summoned to the bridge.

Commander Ark'at'shalk'lak'tak stood, solemn, looking down on Earth. I was surprised we were still in orbit.

"What do you think, Ensign? Do we erase this from history? Leave the humans in their own corner, away from the rest of us?"

Not what I had expected. From his reaction, I don't think my response was what he expected either.

"No. I think they should be brought into the fold and uplifted. But... It's going to take awhile for us to come back. Longer for the council to make a decision. I think we should leave a beacon here, a warning to anyone else curious about this world."

"Oh?" The commander replied. "And what would that warning be?"

"Don't touch the children."