“I can’t believe you would do that to my poor innocent pickle,” Pinky told me.

“That is not the most important thing going on right now Pinky,” I told her.

“Why not? I need my salt, Bandit. I’m so sweet that I need it to balance myself out, and now I’m off balance,” she complained, more pout than chide.

“Those are a… Very poor choice of words right now! Please refrain from mentioning off balance,” I told her, ensuring my feet were well and steady on the blade.

Pinky, utterly brazen of our very unsafe position, simply turned to look at me before waving it off.

“If you think you’re going to fall or you're uncomfortable, just hold on,” she told me, cavalier.

“Where? There are no handlebars, Pinky! We were hundreds of feet off the ground, balancing on a half-foot of crystal! Where am I supposed to hold on to?”

“Uhh. Here, take my hands,” she told me, passing her hands backward.

I grabbed on quickly as my center of mass and ears told me the perilous position I was in. My sense of balance was constantly shifting, and my normally superb senses—or my current lack of them—betrayed me.

She pulled my arms around her, tugging me close, like I was riding on the back of a motorcycle, me holding Pinky by the waist. I couldn’t not feel weird at the feeling of pressing into Pinky.

Pinky Tisked, “Of all things, you're afraid of flying on a sword. So tough and stubborn on the surface, but the second you go outside your comfort zone, you turn into a total softy,”

“Not wanting to die by falling off of your sword is not being soft! It just means I don’t have a death wish, you idiot!”

“You're not going to fall off, you big baby,” Pinky told me, patting my hands like I was some frightened animal. You're safe so long as you hold onto me and keep your feet on the blade at all times. Look, that’s the Lapis tower, home of the navy!”

I did not trust her, not even as she sang a silly song and pointed at the tower. She had been heartbroken at the de-pickling, and this was a cruel and unusual form of punishment.

I held onto her like she was life support anyway while she casually flew across the sky. I sat there, ‘eep,’ing as Pinky took us around the city in a joyride, staring intently at the ground and, periodically after getting shot at by random gun-toating guards, rolling, turning and generally evading.

That was only near the towers, though, or near the important-looking compounds that were not towers but more like squat plazas or encampments. Near what I could only describe as a great metal root that led off past the barrier in the distance, there looked like what I imagined were surface-to-air defences that tracked us, but they didn’t open fire as we drew near.

She had told me we were going for a night out on the town, a patrol, she called it, though I hadn’t thought of how long it would take to find an issue of foot. I could understand why she did it like this, even if it made my sense of balance scream every time we moved, telling me I was falling continuously and giving me a nauseating vertigo sensation.

“You know,” I told Pinky while we were far away from a royal blue tower, “you're causing a bit of a fuss.”

“Huh?” she asked, turning to get me in the corner of her vision, “Why would that matter?”

“There was a guy looking for you… Unless there are other people with hair like ours around here,” I told her.

“What are you… Oh, yeah, your oracle mentioned that. Lilly, right? What a funny oracle. It was some Kuro guy, right? I’m not too afraid; they’re impressive for a normal person, but not so much for one of us. What about him?”

Her casual disregard for secretive police that carried artifacts was… Telling. It was something I feared, trapped as I was for now on Luna, but I was also new, and I could fight. Pinky was not normal, of course; she was Pinky, and I supposed her disregard for mortality and authority made a natural immunity to people who threatened to imprison and torture you, especially when they couldn’t imprison her if she could shatter concrete.

“I just assumed you would want to keep your head down,” I told her, “What is a Kuro? Like what does it mean? I have no context for the slang, but it sounds less than kind. I’m all for spitting on government and society at large, but I want to know what it means when I do it.”

“It's… Well… It just means black, technically... It has a different connotation; it has to do with family names. Captain Crimson Crane isn’t his name; he’s one of the redbirds, or, rather, a red crane, an Akuren. Kuros are similar, a black clan that serves the great clan and its leader. They’re… Well, not good people. The current generation killed their parents, their own family, because they defied the great clan.”

I whistled.

That was fucked up.

Blackbird, who I guess was one of crimson cranes cousins, was exactly what I thought he was. Far was it for me to throw stones, but those kinds of guys pissed me off. I could be a hypocrite, but I would recognize it.

“The one I met didn’t see me as a killer. He was a blackbird, by the sound of it, or at least that’s what I called him in my head; the lotus lady called him blackbird.”

“You yapping a lot; I’m a little surprised, though he would be a blackbird if he’s from here; all of the Kuros from this prefecture are blackbirds.”

“Yapping is helping me not think about vomiting,” I told her.

She pouted, puffing up her cheeks, and I poked at her.

“It’s not your flying… Ok, it is, but it’s mostly the sword. I was not made to fly like this. Give me a cockpit any day.”

She made a sound as I poked, her cheek deflating as she blew a little raspberry.

“I take offence to that… But I guess we can touch down and ask some people I know if they know anything… The joyride was fun while it lasted.”

She came off as saddened, and it took me until she had said it to realize that she had enjoyed the nauseating fly-by. She pouted, and I felt bad for spoiling her night but not bad enough to encourage her to keep flying. If I was up here sans transformation, I would have been fine, but I had thought I was going to be walking, not flying.

I looked out at the city as we circled down and toward the jade tower… We made our way toward the redlight district, the glow of red lamps enough to tint the area a warm, inviting orange-red shade.

We were heading back to the same fucking place I had just left.

A part of me wanted to complain. If I had just told Pinky where I was, I could have gotten picked up. The other part recognized that reaching out to locals was what got people places, and even just the short conversation we had would lead to doors opening that I would otherwise be deprived of.

It was good to know people in low places; they always knew what was going on.

Apparently, Pinky knew some people in low places, too.

We wound down into a familiar dark alleyway. Pinky’s sword hovered a step off the ground, and blissfully, I got off her sword, drawn to the solid surface beneath my feet.

Pinky partly pulled a package from her pontoons. Peculiarly placing the point of our propulsion in it and pressing it home.

I stared at her dumbly and not just at how she jiggled.

She had just pulled a sword sheath out of her cleavage… and then sheathed the sword in it.

I stared at her chest, confused, bewildered, and utterly bam-fucking-boozeled.

“The fuck?” I asked, so confused that the word leaked from my mouth.

She looked over at me and saw me staring at her chest… and grinned, her eyes looking a little more lively and her cheeks taking on a bit more colour.

“Taken by my bountiful assets? I suppose if you don’t like my sword, I can always rely on them.”

I stared, walking over as she pushed the blade down into her cleavage, watching as it disappeared. I stopped staring and looked up at her.

“Pinky… Did you stash an artifact in your… er… breasts?”

Pinky got a weird look on her face, crossing her arms coyly, giving me a ‘wouldn’t you like to know’ look.

I stared at her and simply said, “Fine, keep your secret storage artifact hidden in your tits… you little pervert.”

I did not say it with disgust or animosity, but my words made Pinky puff up, her cheeks expanding and her hands holding her hips, leaning forward in a way she had to know would draw the eye. Considering that they swung out at my neck, the proximity did not help.

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I reached out and grabbed ahold of her round cheeks and pinched them, muttering and sad at the knowledge that I had decided against trying to get with her.

“Stop swinging your giga honkers in my face, and let’s get back to patrolling Pinky. You can't distract me like that forever.”

“You're just sour. You don’t have 'em,” she told me, a look of supreme smugness on her face.

“No, I’m really not.” I snapped, shuddering at it, the feeling of my unfamiliar flab itching at me.

I shouldn’t have, it broke the moment Pinky pulled back. It was over, and a distance formed between us, her feeling suddenly less familiar to my peacekeeper form. Worse, it wasn’t entirely true; a foreign part of me was jealous of them despite never caring about them my entire life, and it unsettled me as I recounted it. Like looking at my face in a mirror, and it made me feel sick.

The feeling slowly passed as Pinky pulled away with a “Come on,” and I followed her, reordering myself. I could tell that she could tell I was uncomfortable, and it caused more distance.

I followed along like a lost puppy into the same area I had left just a while ago, the outskirts. We walked around the less populated marketplace, most of the people flitting from shop to shop until we came up to the same bar I had just fucking left.

“I suggest we split up and ask the locals if anything spooky or suspicious is going on; I say we split up for an hour and meet back here. We can get some food… My treat.”

I agreed unthinkingly and watched as she headed away.

Then I was alone again, my only companion Lilly, who said nothing, and my own thoughts. I felt like a shitter, but I could live with being a shitter; it meant very little; I was already a shitter.

I wallowed in it while I watched her leave before getting on with it, I got around to talking to people, not the folks that looked like they didn’t live here, but vendors and shop owners.

I made my way down into the district, yapping as much as I could, but I didn’t make it that far.

Most of them were somewhat suspicious of me; the felines out and around were less suspicious, but the Lunatic vendors all avoided telling me anything like I was asking them if they paid their taxes.

Outsiders got shunned sometimes. That was true, but this level of shunning was beyond weird. I noted it down and focused on asking the firstborn instead, who were more interested in freeing me of my chit than anything vaguely related to any issue. They were very catty too, when they decided you weren’t there to give them money.

“Out, no questions for free, leave. Leave!” a furred shopkeeper told me hissily, nearly pushing me from her shop.

“I’m going, I’m going. Hands off my pockets! If you touch my pocket again, I’m going to get my stuff back the hard way!” I shouted at her.

I peeled myself away from her, keeping my eyes on her hands as she shut her door. I immediately checked my pockets while she glared at me, stuck my foot in the door, and held my hand out, palm up.

We glared at one another, but when my hand went to rest on my hip and the conveniently hidden weapon I had hidden there after my return to Pinky’s place, she hissed and passed back my pocket watch, and after a click of my handguns trigger, my ships fob, which had sat next to my credit chit.

I nodded, pulling my foot from the doorjamb and securing everything down.

I unlocked my handgun so I didn’t trip it, and put a noisy hole in my leg, and made my way back to the bar.

I checked the watch and knew I would be getting back early, but I wasn’t getting anything other than enmity. I trudged back to the bar and let myself in, the funny flags not drawing my eyes as I walked in and took in the place.

The tiny bartender was still on shift, but the bigger bouncer was at the back, standing next to the back doorway. The place wasn’t empty, far from it, but it had a different crowd a remarkable number of women in booths talking, as well as the change in music changed the feeling of the place.

It had felt comfy, but now it was more of a party. Most of the women had lighter dresses that showed more curves. Some wore face paints, eyeshadow, lipstick and other cosmetics. Some wore dresses that were so light that they showed more cleavage than Pinky. The place was so packed that even the wallflowers had no space but to be sandwiched between two attractive women.

It was less my style, but I needed to wait for Pinky to get back and report my lack of progress and the weird locals.

I moseyed on up to the funny little bar lady and took a seat at the crowded bar, a set of ladies talking to my left and the seat to my right, an attractive woman dressed to impress in a light grey jumper on her shoulders with a similar light grey blue dress that showed off a little diamond of chest, with a pair of blue pair of glasses.

She was a lunatic with a very long body from a lack of sufficient gravity. Her skin was on the paler side and unblemished. She had a button nose, and her glasses had a chain to catch them when they inevitably fell off of said little button, the legs passing into her smooth black hair that wasn’t done up, the rest held fast by a little bamboo stick in the back.

She looked academic and like one of the wallflowers with no space. Mindful of the last time I asked a woman out at a bar, I decided it was best to just not and just enjoy a few drinks. With no bag came no fuss getting up to the bar; my stolen clothes were a sore spot, and I stood out in a bad way.

Tapping the bar, the little bartender looked up at me with her comically big eyes and innocent cat look.

“A drink, please, whenever you have time, same as before.”

She nodded, getting on to another drink, which had her walk up a tower of step stools so rickety they would kill nine out of ten people.

At no less than ten points in the heart-palpitating period of time, it took for her to retrieve the ounce of liquid she was looking for, she almost fell and snapped her neck.

“Now I see why some drinks cost more than others,” the well-dressed woman beside me said.

“I know, it's giving me a heart attack just watching her do it. I’m going to stick to beer,” I responded.

She made a polite noise of agreement, and I reached up to tip a hat that wasn’t there, only to stop, confused for a moment, before letting my fingers comb through my hair once.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, the kind lady and me waiting in companionable silence.

Hopefully, Pinky would be back soon. Otherwise, I would be liable to start doing things I won’t live down, like asking her questions or awkwardly touching her hand or something. That seemed like the kind of thing Bandit would do. Just another twist of fate that would keep me busy.

My stalling continued until after I got my beer, and the catgirl, on tippy toe, slid a small bowl of nuts up between us, saying simply, “On the house,” and we both reached for them at the same time.

“Oh, sorry,” “My bad,” we said in unison, stopping to turn toward one another.

Her hand came up reflexively and pressed her glasses back up her nose to her grey-brown eyes.

Oh boy. She was a looker.

Even while not my type, she was a looker. Not drop-dead gorgeous like Pinky, sure, but a beauty nonetheless, with lots of soft curves to her face. I could tell she lacked something, but I honestly couldn’t find it.

I could see her blush and quickly withdrew my hand from the nuts.

“Sorry about that. Please,” I told her, gesturing at the dish.

“Thank you. I- I didn’t mean to…” She said, flustered before looking at me and sighing. She reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose before adjusting her glasses.

“Please, don’t hold back on my part. It’s a bowl of nuts.”

“Yeh. Yeh. I just figured you were alone at the end of the bar, so you might want to be left alone,” I told the shy girl, reaching out to take a few salted nuts before tossing them back.

They went well with the beer, but we didn’t lapse into silence. She talked, and for some stupid reason, I answered like a numbskull.

“I wasn’t here to be alone; I just came alone. A few of my co-workers came here after work, and I heard there was a girl's night, so I thought I would check it out. I just didn’t expect everyone to be a girl,” she told me, nodding her head toward and behind her.

“It was… Quite a shock. I was wondering why there were so many girls here. It's kind of a weird idea, though. Do we get a free drink? Shouldn’t there be more guys? Are there any?”

“I’ve got no idea; I didn’t see any… It does seem rather weird… Where are my manners? I didn’t introduce myself. My name is Mei, Mei Lanhu. May I know yours?”

My one weakness is my name.

I couldn’t tell her my real name, obviously, and I didn’t think giving her the name I did work by made sense. She would either know, and it would make it awkward, or she wouldn’t, and she would think I didn’t trust her with my name. I didn’t trust her with my name, but that was mostly because I was wanted for a hell of a lot of money.

I thought back to Pinky’s idea of a magical girl name and all the shows she had forced me through, and a name came unbidden from my mouth.

“Amberlyn Aki, but you can call me Amber,” I told her, using every neuron in my brain to sell it.

I just grabbed the name off of one of the orange magical girls from one of Pinky’s shows, one of the orangey-yellow ones that picked fights a lot. Amber Colour and Aki, something was her name, and I just stuck the two together.

I felt like it was a shit name, but she smiled cutely, unawares.

“Well, it’s good to meet you, Amber. As I was saying, I didn’t see any guys, but I suppose it could be an all-girls night. You know how men get when this many women are in one spot,” she said.

I didn’t, particularly because most places I went to didn’t care to put on a girl's night, but I nodded politely and pretended as I did.

“So you came to check this place out because a few of your co-workers come here?” I asked.

“Yes, though I can tell this is a bit of a bad point to get a good look. Are you a regular?” She asked back.

I was brand spanking new, but I did have a tab and did intend to be until it either ran out or I left Luna, so… I kind of was.

“I’m somewhat new, but I was here earlier. I came back because I was waiting on a friend, but it was rather comfy then,” I told her.

“Sounds nice,” she said with a small smile, “I suppose I’ll have to come back-”

The Bouncer spoke up, her voice rolling through the room, not loud but deeply.

“Lady, It's time for tonight's festivities. For those wishing to join in, please form a line.”

Everyone began to file toward the door, the room beginning to clear, and the press nearly pulled us off our seats.

We looked at one another, and while we both shared the same look, I asked aloud, “You want to… Check it out?”

She nodded, an academic curiosity overcoming her.

She got off our stools, the little bartender smiling up at me with a wave while she polished a cup. We got in line, and small groups were let through until we got to the front, and the Bouncer recognized me, eyebrows lifting.

“Huh, your back. I didn’t expect you, of all people, to come to a girl's night... Then again, I guess you're also the exact kind of person who would go to one. Just a group of 2?”

I didn’t know what the oversized cat woman meant, but I went with the flow.

“Just us for now. I was waiting on someone else; if she pops up, could you tell her I’m back here?” I asked.

“Sure thing. What's she like?” She agreed amenably.

“Pink, and lots of it. You couldn’t mistake her if you wanted to.”

She nodded and gestured for us to stop holding up the line. Pressing close, we entered the back, walking down the hall until we met a second greeter, who led us to a side room and got us a towel, a robe and cushy slippers before leading us to a shower area.

Mei seemed to understand what was going on at that point, and I confusingly put my stuff in a box and showered, getting the crusty remains of the blood off before getting into a very plush robe.

Feeling exposed, I managed to slip my pocket box and Righty into the robes pockets before our stuff was put away, and we were whisked into a kind of common area, with plenty of women hanging around with drinks, kicking back, and relaxing. There were private areas off to the sides and the sound of water further in, with a side room with the music exiting it.

“Mei… I’m going to be entirely honest with you. I have no idea what's going on here,” I told her.

“It seems to be some manner of spa, a bit weird for a bar, but I can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy it,” She told me.

“I’ve never been to a spa,” I told her, utterly confused by the turn of events.

A lady came around and gave us a set of fruity-smelling drinks, and I held onto the cocktail glass like it was fine crystal, utterly lost. I would be less confused if I had walked into a firefight.

Looping her arm in mine, she smiled up at me and pulled me over. pointing to a room with an unintelligible word by the door. I took a sip of my drink as we moved over to the room, and Lilly chimed in that the drink had a mild muscle relaxant in it. It tasted herbal, and I could honestly say that it was not bad.

Mei pulled me into the room and got acquainted with a set of side-by-side tables, a set of twins, each with six spindly arms laying us down.

I did it in a fugue until I heard Mei asking about what kind of needles they would use and woke up, asking, “What do you mean by needles?”