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Bamboozle
CH.1 Bamboozled

CH.1 Bamboozled

Ethan planned to spend today like any other Saturday in the adult home, playing with his Legos and counting the minutes until spaghetti night was served. He was good at counting time, unlike some of the others in the home. He kept his father's expensive Rolex watch around his wrist; its glass scratched from Ethan's constant use. His dad was so smart; he had gotten it while on vacation in Mexico for 'pennies on the dollar', whatever that meant.

Ethan got out that Rubbermaid container in the rec room and grabbed handfuls of Legos haphazardly before dumping them onto the ground. He would make a Lego plate and use playdough to make noodles; he might be able to trick one of the others into taking a bite. Ethan liked tricking people; it made him feel smart. Ever since he moved into the group home, his tricks had become more sinister, taking out his frustration and confusion on those around him. It had earned him the moniker 'Sneaky Biscuit'. The 'Nice-ladies', as many called them, had caught onto Ethan’s tricks long ago, but the others like him were quick to forget. Not Ethan; he honed his tricks and individualized them to each person. He would try to get Nathan as he was easy to trick, and everyone mixed the two of them up. But if that didn’t work, there was always Gretchen. She couldn’t speak and tried to eat anything you handed her. He preferred to punch up, but The Nice Ladies would just pretend to eat the fake spaghetti, but get upset when Ethan would beg them to 'Really really eat it'.

The target would come in time; first, he must craft his plate. He began sorting the Legos into piles based on colors or shape, trying to get as many flat whites as he could. Once he had the proper amount, he began laying the foundations for his plate. He checked the time; snack time was in an hour, and he wanted to get them while they were hungry. But before he could complete his masterpiece, he was disturbed.

'Hey Nathan, can I play Legos with you?' Ethan was furious. Brett had called him Nathan, just because they both had Down syndrome, had similar names, and wore plaid button-ups a lot.

'I’m not Nathan, dude.' Before saying something sassy to Brett, he decided he could use a hand with his trick. He liked Brett. He could run fast for a guy in his forties like Ethan.

'Grab some playdough and come right back here, dude. I’m making spaghetti for Nathan.' Brett smiled his big smile and ran off to the closet where the playdough would be. Ethan hoped he grabbed the right colors. Ethan was once again interrupted, but not by another person, but by the whole building shaking. Screams of panic came from everywhere in the facility. Ethan watched T.V and decided it was either an earthquake or an attack, possibly aliens. But the others didn’t watch enough T.V and were scared. He tried to stand to run somewhere safer, like the basement. He knew you were supposed to use basements for tornadoes and were supposed to go outside for fires. He figured earthquakes were closer to tornadoes and made a break for the basement. Air sirens could be heard booming in the distance; could it be aliens? Aliens were probably closer to a fire, so he should probably go outside, he thought. The shaking got deeper and more intense; Ethan fell to the ground, scraping his knees badly.

“Ouch!” he screamed, head twisting to find one of the nice ladies. His vision was filled with a blue box, like when he was allowed to use Jason's VR headset, now permanently banned by Jason for putting bugs in his room. Ethan wasn’t good at reading; he was good at remembering, telling the time, microwaves, Legos, and tricking people. But for some reason, he could read and understand the words perfectly.

‘Greetings Humans of Earth, Your sector has met the minimum requirements for system integration. Your planet will now undergo an integration phase that will last three standard galactic years. This will be both a boon and bane to humanity as many will perish but many others will be strengthened and sharpened. Once the integration period is passed, your interplanetary communications will be returned, and those on your planet will be able to freely travel to Nexus.

Your planet's customs, traditions, mythology, and history will be scanned and preserved, allowing to make an individually suited integration phase. Every individual will be taken into the soul realm where they will be given their Soul-Skill and will allow time for the expansion and transformation of the planet.

Good luck to all; may you achieve the greatest heights imaginable.”

“You are handicapped and of low intelligence. You will be given an integration counselor at the end of obtaining your Soul Skill. If they deem you unfit for integration, you will be taken to a group home on Nexus so your loved ones can better concentrate on cultivation knowing you're safe.

Good luck, and may you achieve the greatest heights imaginable.”

Aliens had taken over the world and were going to make everyone superheroes, but possibly not Ethan because he was, as the mean children of his youth called him, ‘retarded’. Ethan was furious. The messages had been the most crystal-clear thoughts he had ever had, like they imbued the intelligence needed to comprehend them and the letters themselves held deeper meaning and understandings. Ethan craved more of those messages. He, as he had his whole life, wished to be smarter. And he cursed the world around him as he was pulled into bright cyan lights.

Ethan stood on a crumbling stone dais surrounded by purple and black lights of energy; he somehow had an innate understanding that this was his Soul. He wasn’t sure what a soul even was, but this place was his. He looked around in awe; it looked like a spooky haunted house, but he was not afraid of it. Visions of his past played on the walls in distorted purple and black filters. Him scowling at those that teased him, playing tricks on others, trying his hardest to seem smart. He had an innate understanding that his tricks were to prove himself smarter than others. Those that teased him have been a weight on this place warping his perception of reality. The visions played faster and faster until Ethan, no- Sneaky Biscuit- couldn’t keep up with them. Here he realized they were right. Not the ones that called him retarded, not the ones that called him sneaky biscuit. That was who he was; he was pulled out of the inner world and into a high-tech office. Lines in the walls pulsed with lights and the furnishings were like Ethan had never seen before.

[Soul Skill Acquired! Bamboozle 1 (Hidden Skill) (Epic)]

Trade your base intelligence attribute with another that sees you as inferior for one hour.

No tag backs! You cannot be influenced by items, skills, or Daos with similar effects from those you have exchanged intelligence with.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

Sneaky! Hidden Skill: Appears as a random common ranked soul skill that was possible for the user to get. You do not benefit from this skill.

A blue-skinned man with tentacles like a squid sat behind a desk with a screen pointed sideways, towards an open chair. He beckoned Ethan forward, and he obliged, not knowing what else to do.

“Hello good sir, My name is Raoul, and I’m your integration counselor. I’m going to ask you some questions, do a scan, then talk about options on what you would like to do going forward.”

“No more group homes, dude. I firkin hate them, dude.” A wolfish grin appeared on the thing's face, showing Ethan it did have teeth.

“Good, that’s one question out of the way. Don’t mind the scan.” he pointed a gun-like device, and Ethan flinched; this brought the man's smile back. Ethan did not like him.

“Okay, it looks like you were able to get a soul skill, so you are more than an animal. Well, you meet the requirements to go back, so I can send you back whenever, but I have access to some benefits for you that you might be interested in. The problem is some of them, the really really good ones.” he said it in a way that made Ethan’s blood boil. It was cutesy baby talk, and that upset many of the adults at his home. They were not babies.

“I’m not a baby.” Ethan said defiantly and flatly.

“Oh, I know, say you are forty-three. An adult in the prime of his life! But integration tests a species' ability to learn more than anything else, and you, sir, are not very good at that. But you’re strong, and your soul skill looks like it increases strength.” So his skill was even sneaky to this guy, who worked for the people that gave it to him. ‘Does that mean it could work on him?’ Ethan thought.

“I just so happen to have some things with me, some papers. These aren’t from the system; I brought them here so they won’t count for your free skill, weapon, or item you are about to get. Each of them will get you different stuff but has different agreement terms. The more you sign, the more you get! I got lots of them.”

Ethan was handed a few papers, but he wasn’t good at reading. He could sign his name though. He narrowed his eyes on Raul. This smelled like a trick. Deep down he knew this man was a trickster like him, and that he thought he could trick Ethan. Ethan had no idea what the trick was, but this man wasn’t good at hiding his mean attitude. He felt a power inside himself, where he once stood. He pulled on that power and shot it towards the man with a scream.

“BAMBOOZLE!” The man looked at Ethan with confusion, then he looked even more confused, then hazy.

[Intelligence has changed from 5 to 200]

Ethan felt a vastness overtake his mind; he could think clearly, remember everything. He could remember moments with his parents from so many years ago, from twenty-three years ago. Twenty-three years and two months. He could remember the dates of things. Raul slumped in his chair with his hands on his head, moaning.

Ethan wasn’t a pile moaning imbecile like that man, but after pondering the situation, Ethan realized that his brain must be so full of things that it makes operating with reality much harder. As Ethan didn’t have a lifetime of being a creature with a base intelligence of 200, he wouldn’t suffer like he currently was. He grabbed the papers; they were in English- and he had tried to learn to read many many times. His lessons came back to him, and he was able to piece together all of his missed opportunities of the past and read the document.

“Whoever signs this document agrees to give 10,000 years of service and servitude to the Demon King Aarorak. The one who presented these documents will get awarded Demon Tokens based on the quality of the one who signed the documents.”

They all said the same thing, over and over again. Ethan checked the pockets of the slumped form of Raul, finding a tablet-like device. He grabbed the scanning gun and used it on the tablet.

[Nexus Interface Device MK-119 Executive Model by Enchantio Technologies]

This is a Nexus Interface Device keyed to Raul Pazazi.

The MK-119 is the 119th edition of the Nexus Interface Device. The Executive Model includes spatial storage, interplanar communication, market modules, an *indestructible chassis, and instant spatial to spatial transmission for low essence costs.

The device was locked; Ethan walked over to Raul.

“Hey Raul, can you open this for me, buddy. It’ll help fix your head.” The man looked over in a confused daze and tapped the device, opening it up. Raul reached for it, but Ethan pulled it away. It couldn’t be much different than the cell phone he had at home that he rarely used. He played with it for twenty-three minutes according to his watch and internal clock, before he found where Raul could choose to relinquish ownership.

“Hey Raul, I’ll need to borrow this device to help you. Mind authorizing the deletion of your key?” He needed intention to do it. So Raul told him what exactly to do. Raul paused for a second, as if to try and remember what the old him would do in this situation. He came up with nothing and with intention alone unpaired himself to the device. Ethan wasted no time in making the device his. Like the messages and system, he was filled with an innate understanding of the device and how to use it now that it was his. He checked the account balance and storage, all of Raul’s belongings persisted and were now his. He had thousands of these Demon Tokens. In his messages, he saw a chat with four others called “Cult BOYS!” where his last message had a picture of Ethan with the tag “Got another sucker! Free tokens!”. The others laughed in response.

Scanning through his documents, he saw that upon leaving the system would award Ethan with a few items from a pool selected by the counselor. The fact that he was supposedly some administrator of this integration and he was tricking people with his power pulled on Ethan to check for that kind of information, but he wanted to be quick. A big part of being sneaky was being quick and not remaining at the scene of the crime for long.

“Looks like you’ll just need to sign this document here, Raul, and everything will come back to you.” Ethan said, pushing a paper towards him. Raul went to read it, but he took the pen that Raul was going to hand to him and placed it in his hand, clasping it. There were only minutes left on his bamboozle skill. Raul furrowed his brow and then began to scribble. If it was a name, it wasn’t a language Ethan recognized. Moments later, the ground ripped open and black chains appeared.

[Intelligence goes from 200 to 5]

Ethan’s expanded intelligence began to wane, then all at once he was his normal, foggy self.

“What have you done to me?” the man screamed, kicking his feet.

“You tell me, buster.” Ethan said shooting finger guns at the man while he was pulled into the pits on the ground. Ethan pocketed the device he had swindled Raul out of and went to leave through the sparkly disk on the ground. not remembering what it was called but still knowing it was the alien doorway out of here.

A pile of coins as wide as Ethan spilled onto the ground out of nowhere. His prize for tricking the thing into signing its name. He took a drawer completely out of the filing cabinet behind Raúl's desk and filled it with the coins as fast as he could. He also took the stack of papers the man had shown off, as they might become useful if the coins are worth anything. Ethan had visited Chuck-e-cheese many times in his life and these tokens gave him the feeling there would be a prize counter somewhere. When he stepped on the shiny ground disc he got another pop up in his head asking him to select something for being handicap. He didn’t care and just chose the first things that he could select. He wasn’t interested in pity prizes, only those that he had earned. With a zap and a similar light to the one that took him out of his soul, he was back at the group home.

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