Alice sipped at her drink, the liquor only strong enough to knock her out cold but not so strong she’d wake up in a ditch somewhere. Again. Sheila was nice enough to look the other way for shot night, but Alice knew that would change if people started catching on.

“Looks like Perigreens are down again,” the bartender said, watching the game play out on-screen. “Might need a miracle.”

Alice sighed, sipping at her glass. She didn’t know how much Sheila had bet, but a deal was a deal. After making sure no one was watching, the blonde winked at the television. You’re only getting a little, Rydin. Make it count.

Her holy powers quickly took effect. She didn’t do enough for the cameras to pick up, of course. All they saw was Matt Rydin getting a second wind as he sprinted down the field.

“By god!” the announcer shouted. “Rydin’s going all the way! He’s- Oh my god! Touchdown! Touchdown!”

The crowd erupted both on screen and in the bar, men several times Alice’s size throwing themselves at each other in celebration. She lazily sipped at her drink, which Sheila refilled with a smile. Wonder if this is what the other lives did, too.

She toasted her drink to no one, taking a long swig.

“Ms. Alice.”

The blonde groaned. She tried to ignore the men in black suits, but they had a way of sucking the life out of every party. All the patrons stopped cheering, even Sheila eyeing the guards cautiously.

“Ms. Alice. It’s time to go home. Your father is waiting.”

She swished her cup, the ice devoid of any liquor. Alice motioned for a refill, but Sheila didn’t move. An annoying response, but not a new one. Alice stirred a finger around the rim.

Maybe I should try and make a scene. Have ‘em drag me out. Could be fun. She smiled.

“Ms. Alice, it-”

“Yeah yeah!” She set the glass down. “I heard you the first-”

Her legs buckled the minute she stood, the world going dark around her.

***

A soft pillow was under her head when Alice finally came to, her body tucked under a few layers of baby blue blankets.

Her head swam and churned, last night’s effects coming back with a vengeance. But the guards had prepared her bedroom for the worst. The buckets layered around her were quickly put to good use.

“Ugh. What day is it?”

“It’s Wednesday, Alice.”

The gruff voice made her all the more nauseous.

Her father. The same man in charge of running the nation. She spotted him sitting by her bed, scowling with his bushy golden eyebrows. Eyebrows which Alice always hated that she shared. As if having a wizard’s soul wasn't bad enough.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“How long are you going to keep up this charade?” Dad asked.

Alice grunted. “How long are you gonna be so stupid?”

“This is a family house, Alice. And you are part of this family.”

“And I bet you just hate that, don't you? Really makes the- Hurgh.” She grabbed a bucket. If only she could magic away alcohol poisoning. “Ugh.”

“Do I need to call Dr. Erin again?”

A guard came over with a towel. Alice snatched it, slinking back into bed.

It wasn't her first rodeo. Not by a long shot. She'd gotten used to using her powers to chug the night away, even if it meant getting a hangover ten times worse than normal the day after.

“Screw you and screw him too," she said. "Just get me some water. I’ll live. Always do.”

Dad frowned in his usual way, bushy brows furrowing so deep he looked like a cartoon character. If only she could have taken after Mom. Instead, she got both the caterpillar brows and the pig nose. Maybe if I drink enough I'll wake up a shapeshifter. Or in another ditch. Either works. Dad was still scowling.

“Alice Beatrix Morino,” he said in his special authoritative voice. “I’ve tried to be reasonable. I've given you time to grow. But if you insist on acting like a child, then I’ll have to treat you like a child."

He rose, his voice rising to a booming echo.

"You’re grounded, young lady," he said. "I'm stripping your magic for three months.”

Alice sat up, hangover disappearing.

“What? You can’t do that!”

“I just did. And be glad that’s all I’ve done. I could have you detained for violating your parole, too.”

Alice glared at him. Was he serious? She looked to the guards, but they remained cold and stone-faced as always. You can't be serious! That's not fair! She wanted to scream at him, but she knew from experience that always ended badly. No, it was time to deploy cute-Ally. That always worked. She wiped off her makeup as best as she could, towel turning red and black as she tried to look like a kid again. Her chin rested on folded hands.

“Please don't, Daddy,” she said. “I'm sorry. I’ll do better, I promise. I’ll stop drinking. I’ll go to school. I’ll go to Mama’s garden parties.”

Her father looked at her with a blank expression.

“Four months.”

She froze.

"With no visitation."

Alice nearly had a heart attack on the spot.

Her father nodded to his people, who all parted to let him pass, the door slamming shut behind him.

This can't be happening. I'm dreaming, right?

The holy powers began to fade, whisps of light disappearing from her body.

No. No no no. Friggin’ control chip.

Why did things have to be so stupid?

In her past life, she was supposedly some grand hero. A wizard who had cast aside his form to chase a demon. Who’d live forever, constantly being reborn in different bodies. And yet here she was getting grounded by her jerk of a dad. Throwing up in a bucket because holy powers didn’t cure liver damage. Getting her magic stripped away because of the chip in her brain.

It was so stupid. What good was being immortal if this was all it got her?

"It would be best to rest, Ms. Alice," one of the guards said.

"Screw-" The nausea returned, forcing her to fill up another bucket.

"The chef will be arriving soon with your breakfast. The sickness should pass by then."

Alice groaned, sinking under her blankets. The light of day was burning outside. It looked beautiful. But she was stuck watching it from her bedroom prison. Such was the life of an all-powerful wizard.