Cold soup and flow charts

It was a very weird feeling. Being self conscious about your entire existence.

I was Spider-Man, well not really.

I was Peter Parker but that’s one and the same thing right?

‘Wrong!’ Another part of me proclaimed.

That’s right, I didn't want to fight criminals and get beat up for free. I could take boxing classes again if I wanted that! I’m not some saint, not some vigilante who would destroy his body and spirit for what….some misguided attempt at being a hero.

Another part of me tried to wrestle with this idea.

What about saving people? What about being the friendly neighborhood superhero?

What about doing good for the sake of doing good. Those people might need you and your superpowers!

‘Let the police take care of it. If they can’t then the people need to find where their taxpayer dollars went’. Elect better politicians and hire better Commissioner’s if you want to fix crime!’

It felt strange to be this irreverent towards the things Peter held very dear to him and yet so familiar.

With great powers comes..

‘Nothing.’ finished my mind.

‘Not a goddamn thing except for maybe more power. You think that kind of naive principles would be useful in the real world.’

Which begged the question: was I even in the ‘real world’?

I looked around my room, it had been a stranger's room a minute ago but now it was the one in which I grew most of my life in.

‘This can’t be a dream right?’

All those memories of Aunt May and Uncle Ben; ‘They can’t be a dream right?’

“If this is a comic book story Mr Stan lee, can you please let me know? I need to know if I’m messing this world's balance by not choosing a life of fighting crime and delivering pizza. If it’s all the same to you then I really don’t want to be Spider-Man. I’ll do anything to not put on tight spandex and fight dudes from robbing some rich asshole’s bank.” I said out loud facing the ceiling looking for some signs from the cosmic entity responsible.

“Eh Tough crowd.”

A pang of guilt rose in my chest though, I would have gotten my uncle killed. and for what? some cash to buy a car to impress a girl that quite probably doesn’t even know I exist.

‘God why was I so foolish.’

I wasn’t Tobey Maguire. At least I don’t look like him, definitely not that handsome. I can’t rule out that I’m currently residing in the MCU either. In which case, I need to convince Uncle Ben and Aunt May to move away from New York because a lot of bad shit was gonna go down if that was the case.

I was most familiar with the first Sony movie and that took place in the early 2000’s right.

It’s what…..2002 now.

So that checks out but….there’s also Stark industries here unlike the Sam Raimi movies, no ironman yet though.

Definitely no avengers yet.

All of this is so confusing!

It’s like I was in a mix of the first Sam Raimi movie and other comic book iterations.

‘Uncle ben is going to die because of me.’The thought rang out again which ended up making me grimace.

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I thought with a frown, imagining my uncle bleeding out in the street.

If just imagining it made me this guilty then no doubt actually witnessing would be traumatic. Perhaps traumatic enough to make me take up a life of crime fighting.

In my previous life, I had no one that I could call family like how I could call Uncle Ben and Aunt May, mine.

I’m not gonna let anything happen to either one of them!

Damn superheroes and their tragic backstories!

I wished i could let my girlfriend know that i was alive..well kind of alive if anything.

Growing up in a tough orphanage made me accept my circumstances no matter what it was, rather quickly.

If this wasn’t a dream then I had to keep on plowing through.

‘Adapt, Survive and Thrive.’ as was tattooed on my right bicep in my previous life.

The Indian Special forces unit 13’s motto. It was my life's motto then.

Life doesn’t stop its assault on you so neither should you on it!

At least here I have Uncle Ben and Aunt May.

Grabbing a half-empty notebook, I skipped the pages with the scientific formulas and random drawings to meet the fresh white page.

From there I began jotting down everything I knew about my previous world. Everything from my life to the overall technological advancements in that world. All the marvel movies I watched, all the comics I read (Which wasn’t much to be honest, I never had the time). I wrote everything that I deemed to be important.

The ‘Peter’ part of me was still amazed at the realization that there was another world out there.

The idea that he was literally conjured up by another person, a comic book writer no less.

Filled him with great pride.

It was flattering really.

Aunt May brought me her special chicken soup in the meantime. “What are you working on Peter, you need to rest up!”

She said with a touch of concern in her tone.

It took me some time to assure her that I’m not pushing myself too hard.

She thought I was doing extra schoolwork to make up for today’s missed classes so it all worked out in the end.

‘Geez she’s so nervous about everything.’ But I’m glad though, at least in this world I had someone worrying about my well-being.

I had a feeling that my current girlfriend really wouldn’t have cared all that much if i did die, well we had just begun dating a week ago. So it’s not like I could blame her too much.

I was considering breaking up with her for the last few days; I had nothing in common with her really.

I’m sure the feeling was mutual!

She and her friends invited me to that obnoxiously loud party.

I can’t recall anything beyond that!

The drinking sure as hell didn’t help. My last memory was stumbling onto the highway and light heading towards me. It doesn’t take a genius to put all the pieces together.

“I really wish I had a computer now.” I complained loudly.

Writing by hand was no fun but it would suffice for now.

Finishing the damn thing took me almost the entire day.

I was absorbed in the task.

The thought of not doing enough to protect them was not one I wanted to live through.

When it was all said and done, I finished through the notebook with detailed information regarding important Stocks to look out for, the internet and its various applications, global politics and history.

Flow charts of real life events I needed to be on the lookout for like the Iraq war and the various hurricane’s that tormented the United States in my previous world.

Not to mention the entirety of what I knew about the fictional Marvel universe(Cinematic and Comic’s included).

Exhausted, I gulped the now cold soup in one whole swoop as consolation.

I fell onto the mattress, tired and worried about what the future was going to look like for me.

With all the worries of what was going to happen if I diverged from the cannon it was hard to rest on the janky bed comfortably.

I wanted to help people but not at the expense of my own personal life.

‘I’m the only thing May and Uncle Ben have!’ I chanted in my head like a mantra.

If I’m gone then who would care for them!!!

Tell the mayor’s kid or the rich billionaire to fight crime, I don't have the time or the inclination to do such a thing.

‘I’m a good guy.’

Just not ‘selflessly destroy your personal life for ungrateful people who expect you to put up with endless BS’ kind of a guy.

So let’s just say I’m a decent person and leave it at that.

Superpowers always came with a price tag.

There’s always one and oftentimes the ones who pay it were the people…around..yo—

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Erm…….Wait a minute. ‘I do have Superpowers right??’