Chapter Five: Busting It Down

Tatsiana expected many things when she got home…

"GET HIS ASS! GET HIS ASS!" shouted the mysterious young man she'd found on death's door.

"Shoot him with a Fireball! A Fireba- HOW DID YOU MISS?! HE WAS THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!" Huang, her adoptive mother, yelled angrily as she glared at the CV in the living room, sitting next to the young man.

"Hold up, is that Comet Mask-"

The young man was interrupted by the announcer on CV. "BY GOD IT'S COMET MASK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!"

The meaty thwack of metal on flesh met the wolf-girl's ears.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

"And the match concludes with a decisive save from Comet Mask! Team Meteor Red moves to the semi-finals!" The announcer yelled in excitement.

Both the young man and Huang shot up from the sofa, arms in the air, knocking down one of the many empty bottles of liquor on the coffee table. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!"

Tatsiana expected many things when she got home…this was not one of them.

The pair of idiots had red, drunken faces from the amount of alcohol they had consumed. They could barely even stand straight, leaning against each other for support as they laughed helplessly.

"That was awesome!" The young man exclaimed. "I've always wanted to be a Raider when I first saw it as a kid. So cool!"

The wolf-girl sighed. "What the hell are you two doing?"

Huang turned to face her at her words, a big drunken smile on her face. "Xiao Fei! You're home!"

Tatsiana's eyebrow twitched at her adopted mother's use of her nickname. At first she was fine with it… then she found out what it meant a few years later.

"Hold up," The young man had a thoughtful look on his face. "My Mandarin is pretty rusty, but doesn't that mean… 'Little Bark?'"

Huang giggled. "Yes. I mean, look at how small and adorable she is!"

He nodded. "True. I'd pinch her cheeks, but I'm pretty sure I'd lose that hand. Totally worth it though."

"Hey, I'm not…that short." Tatsiana tried to argue, lamely.

Out of nowhere, the young man reached out and began caressing her wolf ears. A sudden sense of euphoria clouded her head, his unexpectedly dexterous fingers felt like magic. Her eyes began to close and unconsciously began to lean into his hand…

Then her eyes snapped open as she realized what just happened.

Tatsiana grabbed his forearm, twisted him around, and slammed him onto the floor.

"Christ! Owowowowowow!" He yelled. "I get that I totally deserve this, but fuck!"

She growled. "The hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I was going to regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't pet those adorable ears- OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

Her eye twitched, and she twisted his arm further.

"Don't worry, I gave him permission!" Huang exclaimed, while raising a half empty bottle of alcohol.

"You're getting put in a lock next after I'm done with this shameless moron!" Tatsiana growled.

Huang sighed. "My, my, what a violent child I have."

The werewolf rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to the man under her. "You!"

"Me? Couldn't be!" The grin on his face may have been strained in pain, but it was still no less shiteating than before.

Tatsiana held the silver gun, Befreiung, in front of his face. "Where the hell did you get this?"

"I punched your piece of shit brother in his piece of shit face, threw him at his boss, and robbed him." He shook with laughter. "Would've stolen some of his alcohol on the way out if I wasn't so injured at the time."

Tatsiana's mind halted for a second. "You…punched Ivan?"

"I decked Yegor in the fucking schnoz!"

"He even did it with a one-liner too!" Huang chimed in. "'You are the fool, warden! Now enjoy a fool's reward!' Oh god, that's amazing!"

Tatsiana looked on blankly as both her adopted mother, and this strange unhinged man began laughing hysterically together.

"I gotta find someone with Mind Magic so I can show you it went down, it was hilarious!" The man exclaimed. "Now, as great as your ass feels on my back, my arm is still broken, and it hurts like hell right now."

The werewolf girl made a face of disgust, she quickly rolled off of him and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, hoisting him up onto his feet. "Just who the hell are you, anyway?"

"Dante Alighieri," He answered with a smile. "And thanks for saving my life!"

Tatsiana opened her mouth to say something. "You're…welcome?"

There was a much different air about Dante than what she usually felt and saw from other people. It was almost like she was being viewed as this great celebrity, and the man before her was holding back quite a bit from either embarrassing himself out of excitement or asking for an autograph.

She let out a long sigh. "How drunk are you?"

Dante looked off to the corner of the room with a thousand year stare. "I thought we were just going to share a bottle when she offered drinks. I've only had three cups before I stopped, this body ain't used to alcohol…but she drank half the damn liquor cabinet!"

She felt a bead of sweet fall down the side of her face. 'Yeah, that certainly sounds like her…' She shook her head. "Whatever. I don't care anymore. Give me one good reason I shouldn't throw your ass back out into the streets."

She did not like the look of the smirk that made its way onto his face. "Bet. Hell, I do better and give you more than a few reasons."

She raised a condescending eyebrow. "Oh?"

Dante looked the werewolf woman dead in the eyes. "I know what happened to Astrid Von Brandt."

The entire room went silent.

Tatsiana's feelings towards Astrid were well documented.

Ask anyone at the Blade Knight Guild, and they would tell you that Tatsiana hated Astrid. Though most would wrongfully assume it was because the young head of the Brandt family was nominated for the S-Rank instead of her.

Ask those that actually knew them, and the answer was more complicated. Tatsiana did dislike Astrid, but it was far more complicated and not nearly to the extent that most people thought it was. They both became Knights around the same time and rose through the ranks at a lightning pace. And while Astrid and Tatsiana had taken many missions together and solved a great number of cases, the latter just couldn't stand the noblewoman's attitude.

Arrogant beyond words, self-centered, egotistical, so aloof her head had to be in low orbit, and big words… so many god damn big words. She somehow made damn near every sentence out of her mouth sound as posh and snooty as possible.

And she just had this insistence on pestering her!

But despite how much Astrid irritated her - and by god did she irritate her - she was still a comrade that had always had her back and never did her wrong. And as a certain kitsune learned, calling Tatsiana 'tsundere' was liable to get yourself a one way ticket through a window.

So, when she went missing around a week ago after there was an attack at her mansion, Tatsiana dropped everything and began looking for her. But she couldn't find a trace of her, not even her just-as-irritating fox maids were anywhere to be found. The only lead she had was that her disappearance was possibly related to the recent string of missing low-rank adventurers.

"I know the members and leaders of several high ranking criminal organizations, which includes the rumored Guillotine Casino." Dante continued, his face becoming more serious. "I know everything there is to know about the Yellow Monarch cult, Verner Von Bluecher, and how to crush them both." A vicious grin spread across his face which sent a chill down Tatsiana's spine. "And I can help you get your revenge on your brother. Well? That worth staying here for?"

Tatsiana took a deep breath and crossed her arms. "Alright, you've made your point. Now, how do you know about all this?"

The mood of the room shifted.

"Oh no…" Huang groaned from the sofa. "Not again…"

The grin on Dante's face changed from vicious to excited, and the werewolf liked this grin even less than the first one.

Wait… hold on. There was a white board behind him. Why was there a white board? She didn't even know they had a white board!

"To answer that, we need to talk about parallel universes!" Dante said, a glint in his eye as he uncapped a marker.

"Daughter!" Huang held out a bottle of liquor for Tatsiana. "You're going to need this."

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"He's lying, right?" Huang felt a wave of exhaustion fall over her as her adopted daughter looked at her desperately. "He's completely and utterly insane, right?!"

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

The Empyrea of The Jade Phoenix let out a long, long sigh. "He's telling the truth."

"We're a game?" Tatsiana looked absolutely furious. "A game?!"

"What? No!" Dante shouted from across the room, the steam and fumes from the alchemy cauldron almost reaching the ceiling as the drunk man tossed in a few more ingredients. "I said that our worlds were interconnected through a 7-th Dimensional Terminal in the form of a game, not the world as a game itself. Did you even listen to my lecture?!"

"Who the hell would listen to some insane drunkard?!" Tatsiana snapped.

"You'd know, you live with one!" Dante shot back.

Huang felt her eyebrow twitch. "I resent that…"

"God dammit, no wonder so many isekai protagonists keep their origins a secret, this shit's annoying." He shook his head and raised a finger, which now glowed blue with mana. "Alright, now for the Spellcraft mini game…"

The Jade Phoenix closed her eyes as she thought back to the vision she saw when she first looked into Dante's eyes.

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It was a normal, slow, and boring day of running her shop, Huang's Potions And Remedies For Adventurers. It was a humble shop that used the begrudgingly useful alchemic knowledge Verner had taught her to make a living after she finally broke out of that sealed prison the bastard trapped her in for centuries around forty years ago.

At the very least her store was rather profitable, the smart adventurers knew a good deal and good quality…

She didn't have any desire for vengeance against Verner, that rage died a long time ago in the centuries she spent in isolation. Now, all she wanted was to be left alone, in peace.

Well, not alone. Not anymore.

She had a daughter now, Tatsiana Sabalenka, a young werewolf girl. Huang had found her ten years ago, homeless, dressed in dirty rags, and hungry. She felt her heart break when she first saw the poor girl. And so, the Jade Phoenix took her in.

Swordsmanship, Aura, Magic. Tatsiana took to her teachings like a sponge. She was her daughter in all but blood, but Tatsiana was a troubled girl. It wasn't a surprise considering the trauma the little wolf had gone through at such a young age, she was utterly devoted to the goal of killing her older brother. So much so that she was anti-social to such a point that the only person she ever truly talked with was Huang herself.

That Astrid girl sure as hell was persistent though…

Lately though her beloved adopted daughter had let a new name slip: Ichiro.

And the massive blush that spread across her daughter's face when she teased her about it… priceless.

Ah, young love…

Huang had been burnt by that before. Heavens knew she'd been burned down to the bone.

The store bell rang as two people walked in.

One was her adorable werewolf daughter, Tatsiana.

Her silky black hair flowed down to her back. Her amber eyes darted about nervously, almost in sync with how her ears were twitching. Today she opted to wear that red button-up shirt with pinstripe shorts combo she was so fond of in the warmer times of the year.

The other person with her was a young, handsome man with purple hair and eyes.

With a devious grin, Huang used her Aura to hide her presence.

Tatsiana let out a relieved sigh. "Alright, I think the coast is clear-"

Then undid her presence concealment just as they reached the counter.

"Why hello there, you two~"

"Gaaaaah!" Tatsiana screamed, practically jumping ten feet in the air.

She would forever treasure the comedically frightened look on her face.

"MOM!" Tatsiana yelled. "I told you to stop doing that!"

Her eyes locked with the boy, she leaned over the counter, emphasizing her large breasts. "And who might this handsome young man be~?"

His face went red in an instant and tried his best - failed - not to stare. "I-I-I'm Ichiro Maruyama!" He bowed at a perfect ninety degree angle. "A pleasure to meet you!"

Huang giggled. Oh goodness, this young man would be an absolute joy to tease!

She herself knew just how utterly gorgeous she was. If there was one good thing that came out of her centuries of imprisonment, it was that she aged like the finest of wines. Now that hussy, Xinyan, couldn't make fun of her for having a small chest!

…If she had survived after Verner's betrayal, that was.

She was broken from her depressing thoughts as Tatsiana let out a loud groan. "Mom! Stop!"

It had been so long since she had seen Tatsiana so expressive, so happy. It wasn't too long ago that she never spoke more than necessary. But now, she actually started to smile again! And if this boy was the reason for it, she was all the more thankful that she found someone she held dear to her heart.

He was a sweet and obviously very innocent boy, not to mention easy on the eyes. Her daughter sure knew how to pick them.

As it turned out they were there because the boy, Ichiro, was curious about the old alchemy pot she had, which of course, she let them use and instructed them on the basics of alchemy. The resulting explosion of their first failure was amusing. But then, something odd happened…

Ichiro's eyes changed colors…

Not just that, but the air and mood around him changed too. There was a confidence on his face that she hadn't seen beforehand, and he cracked his neck and knuckles.

Tatsiana looked like she had expected this, or even anticipated it.

Then Ichiro started the alchemy process again, but this time he did it perfectly! Not only that, but he did it at such a speed it was mind boggling!

And in no time at all, he had successfully created something with alchemy.

Huang hesitantly looked into the pot and gasped as she saw what was in it, something that only the greatest alchemist in history could produce.

It was the goal of all alchemists since the dawn of alchemy itself.

Some say that it was the recreation of the waters of the Fountain of Youth, others believed it to be something that can only be produced by the Holy Grail.

Elixir…

It was something so precious it could be called priceless. A substance that could cure any disease, heal any injury, and retain one's youth.

The potion of immortality.

Elixir wasn't some fairy tale, the alchemist of this era had proved it, but even the greatest alchemist of today could only produce a few drops every ten or so years. The process was just that difficult! A single drop of it went for tens of millions easily in the Crown Road Auction House!

Yet… here was an entire pot filled with Elixir!

"H-How…?" Huang looked up from the pot and at Ichiro with a completely dumbfounded expression.

Ichiro looked away, his eyes now purple once again, just as confused as she was. "I don't really know. I just… felt something guide me."

"Something…guiding you?"

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Dante's eyes held the same shade as red as when Ichiro, from her vision, lost control. So, did that mean…

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!" Tatsiana shouted.

Huang was snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed the flashing lights around the room.

There, on the table where the alchemy pot was placed, was Dante doing some kind of odd dance while both of his hands rapidly created magic circles at a speed not even the Ichiro of her vision had achieved. The alchemy pot was spreading pleasant, scented mist throughout the room, while flashing rave lights emanated from the pot.

The pot let out a reverberating sound that shook her entire body, and with each reverberation, green marble-sized balls, the same color as Elixir, spilled from the pot.

"GET DOWN FROM THE TABLE DAMMIT!" The werewolf girl shouted again.

"SHADOW WIZARD MONEY GANG! WE LOVE CASTING SPELLS!" Dante yelled to the heavens.

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

Huang let out a soft groan as she felt the beginnings of a headache. "There's not enough liquor in the house to deal with this shit…"

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On the building across the street, Odin observed the chaos unfolding in the Zhihao household.

"Holy shit… he's busting it down sexual style!"

Chapter End