CHAPTER FOURTEEN

EASY PICKINGS

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I almost turned to run the moment I saw it. Instinctual fear from years of movies had me almost certain the thing would sprint toward me like lightning. A single bite would have me transform into one of the hideous creatures.

I hesitated as it took a step forward.

Then another.

And another.

It reached out to me, hunger for my death in its eyes, but at the same time, it didn’t seem to be able to move any faster than a slow, ungainly shamble that wasn’t even a full stride. Its arms looked powerful and deadly, and I would not want to be caught by this thing.

That said…

I picked up a rock and threw it at the seven-foot-tall monstrosity. It bounced off the thing's head without so much as a wince.

Strong. Incredibly strong. I could imagine being terrified of these things if I fought the way the system seemed to think I should. Swords and bows and crap.

It was still ambling slowly towards me at a pace of a few inches a century. I wouldn’t need the vines at all to make sure I hit it. I took all the time I needed to make sure my bullet would find its mark right in the creature's horrifying face and fired.

I screamed as the echo tore through my ears. Fucking hell, how had I forgotten the damn earmuffs!?

Ears ringing, I kept my eyes forward to make sure that the bullet had done its job. It had. The zombie collapsed the moment I fired.

The hells might be awakening, but they weren’t prepared for the modern world. If this was all they could muster, we would eat them alive.

I made my way over to the dead zombie to examine what was left. Its mutilated face was obviously distorted, but it didn’t seem to bleed. I realized that this thing looked more like Frankenstein’s monster, rather than a zombie. Tall and unnaturally skinny despite being built like a truck, I imagined I would have had a lot of trouble trying to hack it apart with my machete.

To my glee, five coins had dropped near the corpse. I almost moved to pick them up when I heard a familiar tone further down the tunnel.

“Burrr…”

A goblin. The shuffling of feet. More than two.

I grimaced. If there were a lot of other creatures down here, the gunshot would certainly have alerted them to my presence. Hearing wouldn’t be very useful to me soon, if they came running, and firing more bullets at them would leave me deaf.

I reached into my bag and put the earmuffs over my head.

My flashlight gave away my location as bright as daylight. I put the light down and shined it further down the cave before shuffling to the other side of the tunnel behind the largest set of stalagmites on the other side of the tunnel, setting a crude ambush.

I heard their cracky voices as they came around another curve in the tunnel. The light wasn’t aimed quite right, so I couldn’t see them very well, but I caught glimmers of their jerkins and knives. One carried a scimitar, and another held a long rod, or maybe a staff that jingled with each step.

I readied another flashlight in one hand while I watched them cautiously approach through the maze of stalagmites. They actually had a dim red light of their own, though I couldn’t tell exactly what it was. It didn’t cast much illumination but it did bath the crew in an ominous light that made me shudder.

Suddenly, a hand snaked around my neck. I screamed, but my voice was choked off by the earmuffs and the death grip on my throat.

How!? How could something have snuck up on me!?

Losing air fast, I aimed the gun behind me and fired wildly. Three shots. Four? The muffled explosions still sounded deafeningly loud, but the grip on my throat slackened almost immediately. The body behind me, another one of the zombies, fell back and crushed a stalagmite in its tumble.

Any element of surprise I’d had before was gone as the goblins saw their chance. All of them advanced, except the one with the staff. It lingered further back in the cave before a blue light formed in its hands.

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‘Shit, they have magic too!?’ I thought with a yelp as I dove onto the body of the first dead zombie just in time to avoid an honest-to-god icicle flung by the staff-wielding goblin.

The others were closing in now, as I scrambled desperately to get back to my feet. I aimed the barrel at the closest one and fired. The goblin jerked back, but I’d missed its chest. I thought my bullet hit its arm, but I couldn’t be sure.

The next was coming fast, but not as fast as I could pivot to aim another shot. This one scored true, hitting it in dead-center mass. I watched it fall backward and trip the goblin right behind it in a deafened silence that felt unreal.

The spellcaster hadn’t been idle and I spotted it the moment it flung another icicle. I was too slow to dodge and I grunted as it slammed into my shoulder. It failed to penetrate the leather jacket, so it just felt like an ice-cold punch, but the ice lingered, cold enough to burn my face before I jerked frantically and brushed the frozen shards off. My hand burned with each touch, but I didn’t have time to worry about that.

I backed up a few steps to give myself room to stand without tripping over the two zombie bodies. It was pitch black behind me, so I had no way to tell if another one would jump out at any given moment.

I reached out with my mana and used Gripping Vines. It didn’t seem to matter that there was no possible way roots or vines could grow this deep. Vines ripped out of the cave floor and snagged the surprised spellcaster anyway, giving me some breathing room to deal with the closer threats.

The time spent had given three more goblins time to get much closer to me. I was further from the light now and struggled to see exactly where they were.

I reached into my pocket and turned on my second flashlight, only to leap back at a goblin that had appeared less than three feet in front of me. Fortunately, the light startled it and it flinched, giving me the time to aim a gun at its chest and fire. Twice.

Dammit, how many bullets were left!? Why the fuck did I come down here!?

There were still two goblins left, coming at me with blinding speed. The next one had the long scimitar and it sliced, not at me, but at the gun in my hand. I screamed in agony and dropped the pistol, blood gushing from my fingers as I fell back.

Shit! Had I lost my fingers!?

‘Oh god, oh god,” I thought frantically as I held up a hand and pushed more mana into summoning roots. The two goblins in front of me were instantly ensnared. With bloody fingers, I tugged the machete free and sliced at the goblin who’d disarmed me.

I couldn’t actually tell if I’d lost fingers. My hand burned with the effort of gripping the machete’s hilt but at least I still could grip it.

Even ensnared with the roots, the goblin still managed to parry my first swing. I grit my teeth and summoned still more roots. This time, they latched onto its arm, and it had no way to block my swing as it stabbed halfway into the creature's throat. Blood spewed from the wound, blinding me and sending me tumbling back to the cave floor.

I frantically scrabbled at my eyes, trying to clear the blood and find a weapon. I’d dropped the machete and the gun now and who knew how long the roots would hold–!”

“Oooff!” I groaned as another icy bolt suddenly slammed into my chest, knocking the wind out of me, the ice burning my stomach even through the leather.

My eyes were clear, though, and I saw it. The handle of the gun, halfway between me and the last regular goblin. It was rapidly freeing itself from my now inert roots. I dove for the gun and fired, again managing a solid hit that sent the goblin slumping to the floor.

I stood, wiping blood from my eyes with my sleeve as I took in the scene. The spellcaster was lit up with mana once more, but this time it wasn’t summon ice. Instead, an eerie, eldritch black beam was aimed at one of the fallen goblins.

I realized suddenly that it was the one I’d hit in the arm. It stood and approached as the beam of light from the caster faded. I backed away, intimidated as I got further away from my second dropped flashlight. The beam erupted from the spellcaster once more, gently caressing another goblin corpse.

Was it a necromancer? Or was it reviving them? Healing? I couldn’t tell. All I knew for sure was that it was helping enemies I’d already put down. That fucking thing had to die.

I aimed at the last goblin and fired again, but winced as the loud bang momentarily stunned me. I’d lost my earmuffs in the fall. It said something about my state of mind that I’d barely noticed.

I missed the goblin, and it juked to the right. Two more shots missed as it bobbed and weaved its way closer to me. Panic started to set in as it raised its scimitar.

I fired and my bullet found its mark. My ears were ringing and I thought they might be bleeding. I stared down at the goblin spellcaster. It was in the middle of casting but it didn’t seem like it could raise its goblins very quickly. The one it was focused on was wearily picking itself back up but it wasn’t ready yet. I could almost see the sudden terror in its eyes as I aimed straight at it with a vicious grin and pulled the trigger.

Click.

“Son of a bitch!” I screamed as the goblin finished casting. Now I had no bullets save for the ones in the other gun. The one that was still in my bag.

Frustrated, enraged, and just completely done with this, I grabbed the goblin’s scimitar with my mangled hand and ran at the dazed goblin who’d just been healed. I stumbled a little, but I kept my footing as I charged, rage overtaking any sense of defense.

I spotted the moment it saw me, panic and fear on its face as it held up its hands in a fruitless attempt to placate me.

My scimitar cut clean through the goblin’s neck. I barely even paused as I continued straight for the shocked spellcaster.

It fumbled, losing its dead beam as I ran at it, screaming like a banshee. I raised the scimitar in an overhand chop and brought it down on the spellcaster's unprotected face, once again showering myself in blue goblin blood.

Frantically turning to the spellcaster's target, I discovered that whatever it had been doing with the black beam hadn't been fast enough. They were all dead.

It was over…

I’d won.

…

“Where the fuck is my pinky…?”

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