Chapter 13
“Well, later guys! I’m off to meet my Kyroshi comrade,” Turncoat snickered as he slinked out of the cabin. “Nyehehehe, I’m so dastardly!”
“Right, meanwhile we’ll head off for the mountain,” Kaiyo instructed as she led the rest of the group to the door. “I’ll tell us when to split up, but for now we might as well all go up together.
Grunting, Dwight lugged his immense chest up as he followed everybody out of the cabin, where the kimono that he now wore was incredibly tight on his breasts as they bounced freely in the silky outfit. Together, the ragtag group stepped out into bright sunlight, where contrast with the blizzard the day before, the skies were clear and blue, and a calm breeze had replaced the harsh winds. Still chilly despite the radiant sun, the small cabin seemed to be on a flat, snow-covered cliff that overlooked a deep, rocky chasm. Around a third of the way up the slope of one of the realm’s many snow-peaked mountains, the mint-haired gamer found his gaze lost around the picturesque scene.
“We found you guys a few hundred feet up from here, and maybe halfway around the mountain,” Kaiyo explained as she and Tuna took the lead. “Incredible, to think that our basecamp was right under the Kyroshi Syndicate’s nose. They’ve probably been spying on us the whole time, no wonder we could never find their base.”
His raised wooden sandals keeping his bare feet out of the snow, Dwight hugged his boobs as he braced his aching calves while the troupe began to ascend the mountain at a relatively shallow angle. Thankfully, that part of the mountain wasn’t very steep, but the overly-busty avatar nonetheless was feeling a sharp pain in his back as he fought gravity to lug his gargantuan chest up in front of him.
After around 10 minutes of walking, Kaiyo turned her black-helmeted head in annoyance as she saw the hamster, dragon, and the clown girl lagging behind, though she felt almost guilty about feeling that way as she realized that they were merely trying to wait for their busty friend. Shuddering at the thought of having such big boobs, the commander kept her mouth shut as she and Tuna led the party to where they’d found them the previous day.
“Anything looking familiar yet?” the cat-faced soldier eventually asked, where the snow grew noticeably deeper as everyone struggled to find footing.
“Alas, not yet,” Mister S.A replied.
The group would continued walking around the circumference for another 20 minutes, ever so slightly ascending the increasingly steep slope as Logan began to fall behind with Dwight.
“Maybe I should have worn a scarf or something, this cold is getting me sleepy again,” the dragon yawned, before putting a heavy hand behind the blue-haired avatar as he tried to encourage him up the mountain. “I know you’re having a rough-ass time trying to lug those girls up here, I can’t even imagine.”
“I should be used to this by now but dammit, this gravity,” Dwight replied with a chuckle, his legs on fire from the strain. “That Kaiyo chick is hot, eh? Asian women are probably number 13 or 14 on my top 50 list of fetishes.”
“What the hell is an Asian?” Logan asked. “More funny words from Erthu or wherever it is you’re from, I’m guessing?”
“Ah yeah, never mind I guess,” the busty gamer sighed.
Though he could now see the realm much easier due to the clearer weather, Dwight admittedly didn’t recognize where he was. He’d visited The Jal Mountains in ULife many times, mainly to take advantage of the lewd fat furries who inhabited a certain village, but the towering mountains that bordered the towns and cities where the players could venture were mainly aesthetic and not meant to be accessed in game. However, like Acidystopia, all parts of the realm were accessible in this strange world, where Dwight now realized why Slader had likely built his secret hideout up there. Apart from hiding from the realm’s authorities, it would also protect the Syndicate leader from other nosy visitors from Earth, or threats, as Kyroshi seemed to be convinced.
“Ah hah, I see the peak now!” McWanda exclaimed suddenly, her blue and red kimono blowing in the breeze as she pointed towards a familiar rocky outcropping. “The base is somewhere up there. I remember it like a cheap grill remembers low-quality grease.”
“Wanda, love, if you use one more fry-cooking burger allegory-” Mister S.A began.
“-excellent! Well done, red hair,” Kaiyo interrupted. “Alright ladies, lets form up. My team and I will advance directly from the South-East, where we’ll probably run into any patrols that they have up there. Logan, Dwight, you guys do a shallow sweep of the area as you slowly advance up from the South-West. If my theory is correct, they have a second entrance where they’ll try sneaking the shipment out of if they realize they’re under attack.”
“You’re a sadist, lady, that means Dwight and I are going to have to walk even further since we’re already South-East of the dang peak,” Logan protested. “I’m getting sleepy from this cold, and Dwight’s titties aren’t getting any lighter.”
“L-Logan, buddy, I’ll be okay, don’t worry,” the mint-haired gamer interjected, getting tired of seeming like the weak link who needed to be accommodated. “Let’s just get this over with and find that dude.”
“Huh? Oh ah- if you say so,” Logan shrugged.
“It’s settled then,” Mistress Kaiyo said as Tuna joined her at her side, where she then turned to face the top of the mountain. “Red hair, hamster. Get ready for battle, I don’t know who we’ll find up there.”
“Works for me, I’d like another crack at that snowy fellow,” Mister S.A replied with a smirk, adjusting his sunglasses as he reached for his rodent-sized blade.
With that, the two teams split up, where Wanda and S.A waved to Dwight and Logan as they followed their samurai hosts further up the mountain, where the big blue dragon and top-heavy avatar continued forward by themselves. They tried to keep themselves focused with light conversation.
“Hah, remember the time you sucked off a futa?” Logan chuckled. “I love my job at the plant, but that was one of the best work days I’ve ever had.”
“Awe c’mon man, believe it or not, there is a long line of people back on Earth who can only dream of doing or seeing the things that I did,” Dwight responded, his cheeks red as he looked down at his swaying, massive boobs. “A lot of people who wish that they could change their genders as well…”
“I’m just messing with you, dude,” the large dragon said with an affectionate slap to the gamer’s back. “I still appreciate what you, S.A, and Wanda helped me do. I thought you guys just did it out of obligation but nope, here’s everyone trying to take down Kyroshi to get back at what he did to you. You’re pretty cool people.”
“What? Nah, they’re helping the Kabuto Guard take the Syndicate out because of all the trouble that they’ve caused us,” Dwight scoffed with a smile. “Seriously, at every turn since I first got here, they’ve been there.”
“I mean sure, but what made everyone really want to go after Kyroshi just now was hearing about how he almost raped you there in that cave,” Logan replied bluntly. “These people are starting to care about you, man. You’re a little weird I guess but if you can’t already tell, most people here are.”
Having had no real life friends back on Earth, Dwight did indeed feel a little warm and fuzzy at hearing about this. He’d resigned himself to being a disgusting, porn-addicted hermit, yet here he was now, having actual real people believe in him.
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“Do you think they’ll be okay, Wanda?” Mister S.A whispered to the clown girl from her shoulder as they ascended the mountain behind the duo from the Kabuto Guard. “I worry that those two aren’t going to be able to handle a major threat themselves, no offense to them.”
“Awe you worry too much, S.A,” McWanda replied with a smile, watching her footing as she stepped over the jaded rocks that were beneath the snow. “They worked together well when we split up to fight that spear-chucking woman back in Acidystopia. They’ll be a safer duo than mustard and ketchup.”
“Again with the burger analogies, Wanda?”
The group of 4 continued to climb, until the pigtailed clown girl began to point her finger at a slate of rock around 100 feet above them.
“Yep, that’s it! The hidden door is somewhere there!” McWanda exclaimed as she whipped out her spatula-sword and frantically directed the samurai towards where she was pointing.
“Excellent, we’ll begin a sweep the area until their forces emerge. Hopefully we can ambush them…” Mistress Kaiyo began, until the sound of movement caused her to trail off. Clutching a fist in her right hand, she signaled for the troupe to halt, where she then whispered at everyone to get low.
“I’m Mister White Christmas, I’m Mister Snoooowwwww,” a familiar voice sang cheerfully as the pale-skinned, icy-haired Kyroshi captain suddenly slid down the top of the mountain, gliding atop the snow with his pointed shoes, his snow-zooka slung over his shoulder.
“Oh look, it’s that snow-shooting bloke from before,” the hamster hitman commented, before feeling for his weapon in his suit pocket. “Perfect, I’ve been looking to finish off the fight that I started.”
“That’s White Christmas, he’s been a thorn in our sides this whole time,” Tuna explained. “These mountains are like a playground to him, it’s rare that we get the opportunity to even get this close.”
“Well, let’s take full advantage then,” Mister S.A replied as he hopped off of Wanda’s shoulder and dived into the snow, where he began to burrow away unseen towards the now-paused White Christmas.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“H-hold on!” Tuna stammered. “We need to think this through!”
“Hold on, Corporal, look what he’s doing,” Kaiyo interrupted. “The little rodent is digging his way over there! Heh, the quirks of being something so small.”
“Oh yeah, he’s got this. The little dude claims to be the best hitman in Southopolis,” McWanda smiled, vouching for the hamster.
“Wait…he’s a what now?!”
The static of a walkie-talkie jolted the crouching group, where White Christmas reached into his leotard and pulled out a black hand-held radio.
“White Christmaaaaas here,” the captain spoke into the walkie, where an unintelligible garbling could be heard on the other end. “I just watched Turncoat arrive from below, BBW took him in. The view up here is superb and beautiful, no sign of-”
It was then when Mister S.A abruptly leaped from the snow and launched himself right at the white-blue man’s throat. Retching as he took the blow to his larynx, White Christmas clutched his neck as he dropped both his walkie-talkie and snow-shooting weapon to the ground, where he received a rapid kick to the right cheek from the lighting-fast rodent as he struggled to gauge the situation.
“Eeeek!! Who the heck is this? What’s going on?” the confused captain exclaimed before taking a blow to his other cheek as S.A again launched his entire miniscule body at the ice-man. Stumbling back into the snow, White Christmas stared down at the hamster, who’d landed in front of him. “Ah! It’s you again…but how?! I saw you all get buried alive by my avalanche!”
“They ran into some help,” Kaiyo replied as she and Tuna revealed themselves, their katanas drawn as they raced up the slope towards the felled Syndicate member.
“This is for yesterday, you bully!” Wanda exclaimed as she placed a frozen burger patty onto her spatula, before flicking it towards White Christmas with surprisingly strong accuracy. “Eat this! Burger bullet!”
The frozen patty slammed into the leotard-wearing man’s face, causing him to fall back into the snow before sitting up again.
“Ouch! Wow, is that what it’s like to get hit with a super-charged snowball? Gosh, it really is kind of annoying,” the captain chuckled, removing the burger from his face and standing up just in time to see the two samurai jumping at him with their swords drawn.
“Dragon scissor!!” Kaiyo and Tuna yelled together as they both slashed at White Christmas, two diagonal lacerations causing blood to splurt through the Syndicate member’s leotard as he shrieked in pain, where he fell backwards into the white snow, unconscious.
“Bloody hell, that was cold,” Mister S.A laughed. “You just chopped him up.”
“They were shallow cuts, he’ll survive,” the Kabuto commander replied, licking her lips as she stood over their fallen foe. “We’ll come back and arrest him after we nail Kyroshi. Well done guys, that was some excellent teamwork.”
“Stay sharp, commander, there might be more around here,” Tuna said as his cat-eyes darted around the area, searching for more assailants in the snow-covered rocky outcropping.
The grey tabby had reason for concern, as a second figure had appeared near the top of the mountain, having emerged from the secret hideout while the invaders were distracted with the Kyroshi captain.
“Yo, White Christmas!” a woman’s voice boomed crudely. “The boss wanted me to check on you since your call apparently cutout abruptly…hold on, who the hell are you guys?”
The troupe of 4 could have sworn that they felt the mountain tremble as an absolutely gargantuan woman glared down at them from her perch near the top of the mountain. Standing at what must have been 7 feet tall at least, she was an incredibly obese female that sported a pair of huge, flabby arms, a massive pair of breasts that rivaled Dwight’s, a humongous belly that poked out far from beneath the tight, black t-shirt that she wore, and most ginormous of all was the lady’s posterior, her asscheeks shamelessly pushing a pair of grey sweatpants to the brink of destruction like a pair of plush, jiggly boulders.
“We’re with the Kabuto Guard, and we’re here to apprehend your boss,” Mistress Kaiyo explained calmly. “Assuming you’re a Syndicate member, you guys are all in a lot of trouble for a long list of crimes that your organization is responsible for. Surrender now, and save us the trouble of coming up there to arrest you.”
“Oh my gosh!!” the house of a woman replied, her messy, dirty blonde hair shaking as her pudgy face began to go red. “Don’t you dare think about touching my Kyroshi! Not only am I a proud foot soldier for the Syndicate, but I’m also one of that sexy man’s concubines! Ooh we have such a hot thing going, he loves when I sit my big butt on his face, especially after I’ve eaten some gas-inducing food. He’s my everything.”
“Why do I feel like Dwight would be into that?” Mister S.A asked as the rest of the group bore expressions of disgust.
“Um…yeah regardless, your boss has done a lot of bad things, so why don’t you make this easy for us and give him up,” Kaiyo continued.
“Whoowee, look at that belly, I’m jealous,” Wanda added. “The amount of burgers that you can probably fit in there.”
“What the hell…did you just call me fat?!” the huge lady roared, enraged. “Well let me show you just what a ‘fat girl’ can do!”
“W-wait, I didn’t-” the clown girl began, where she watched in horror as the Kyroshi woman leapt unexpectedly high into the air from her place in the mountain, where she noticed too late that a butt-shaped shadow loomed over her.
“Wanda!!” S.A yelled in horror as the burger-flipping clown girl disappeared beneath the massive ass of the Syndicate foot soldier, the entire slope trembling as the weighty woman landed right on top of McWanda with a murderous butt-drop.
“My name is BBW, and I’m large, in charge, and your worst nightmare,” the near-ton assailant cackled, waggling her hips to press her huge butt even further into the snowy slop. Taking a deep breath, she hopped to her feet, standing proudly over an ass-shaped crater in the snow. Packed down in the comically butt-shaped indent was poor McWanda, whose squashed body groaned in pain, evidently passed out.
“You cow, you’ll pay for that!” Kaiyo exclaimed as she readied her sword, with Tuna doing the same.
“You overgrown wench, why did you do that to Wanda? It should have been Dwight! He probably would have enjoyed that,” Mister S.A growled, withdrawing his own dagger.
“4 against 1? Whatever, I’ll cream all of you,” BBW snorted, wiping some stray mustard from her mouth. “I already took out one of ya’ll. Who’s next?!”
With that, the hulking woman charged towards the two samurais, who both leaped out of the way in different directions, shocked by the surprising speed of the Syndicate member. Sailing past them, BBW tackled a stone ledge, which cracked and trembled as she rammed into it like a runaway freight train.
“This is bad, she’s actually really strong,” Mister S.A commented, cracking his paws. “But, she’s outnumbered. How do you two want to proceed?”
“Distract her, I have an idea!” Kaiyo yelled back as she picked up the hamster and tossed him towards BBW’s face.
“Heh that I can do!” S.A smirked as she clung onto the massive woman’s nose and cheeks, causing her large blue eyes to look at the rodent clinging to her face.
“Eek!! Get off of me, you rat!” the Syndicate member whined as she frantically tried to slap the hitman off of her features. Mister S.A hopped off just in time for BBW to see the two samurai charging at her, the same view that White Christmas had seen moments ago. Instead of slashing at her huge, pudgy body, Kaiyo and Tuna each chopped at the hulking woman’s sweatpants, where they each cut a side of the waistband as they dashed past her. Before she even had a chance to register what was going on, BBW’s pants, with their cut waistband, promptly fell down to her ankles, exposing the obese lady’s huge, white panty-covered ass in all its half-naked glory.
“AHhhhhhh!! You perverts, what the hell!?” BBW yelled in embarrassment, frantically trying to pull her pants back up as her huge butt jiggled and shook while she bent over. In her struggle, the big girl tripped and fell face-first into the snow, crying in humiliation as she flopped around.
“Aaaannnnd you’re under arrest,” Mistress Kaiyo said as she stuck the blade of her katana near BBW’s pudgy neck, resulting in a frustrated whimper from the face-down woman.
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“Do you think we’ve walked far enough? We’re pretty far west of where the hideout was now,” Logan said as he checked back behind them, seeing the rocky outcropping where the secret base was.
“Yeah, I’ve had enough of this walking,” Dwight panted, clutching his sweaty back. “What are we even looking for? Just hoping that we got lucky and waited at the right place for the shipment to come out?”
“Yeah pretty much,” the blue dragon replied with a yawn, scratching his rotund belly. “I haven’t been to this realm in a while, do you remember what kind of food they have? I’m so hungry that even some of Resnekka’s food sounds good.”
“They didn’t even have food in ULife, so the concept of eating in this world is still new to me,” Dwight chuckled, causing his gargantuan tits to bounce. “Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for some chicken tenders and honey mustard sauce to dip. Mmmm 20 tenders at least…no! 30.”
“That does sound pretty damn good,” Logan agreed. “I wonder if- hey! What’s that over there?”
A creaking noise echoed throughout the mountain slope, where the duo rapidly ducked just a piece of the mountain around 50 feet above them opened up, revealing a set of white double doors that were disguised as part of the snow-covered incline. Logan put a heavy paw on Dwight’s shoulder and ushered him behind a raised portion of the steep terrain, where the two were able to lay down side by side to avoid detection from whatever was about to come out of the exposed entrance.
A low-pitched growling could be heard as a monstrous creature emerged, resembling a giant, icy-blue snapping turtle that was the size of a minivan. Its beak-like jaw snapping at the air, the turtle crawled forward, where from behind its spiky, ice-like shell, was a covered, wooden chuck wagon could be seen being dragged close behind, where reigns anchored it to the great beasts’ back legs. The large, wooden wheels of the wagon were covered in spikes, allowing them to grip the snow and ice as the vehicle bobbed up and down behind the advancing turtle. Sitting in the front of the wagon and apparently steering the reptile-drawn carriage was none other than the Syndicate boss himself.
“White Christmas? BBW? Do any of you copy?!” Kyroshi Slader yelled into a walkie-talkie, his brown hair blowing in the breeze and his black overcoat rustling as he steered the turtle. “Crap, I didn’t expect them to attack so soon. Samson had better hurry his ass up and get here…”
“Oh shit, Dwight, we lucked out! Let’s jump him now!” Logan whispered to the massive-chested avatar, who was helpless to stop the blue dragon as he stood up from their hiding spot, which was directly in the path of the upcoming wagon.
“What now?!...oh, it’s the big fat dragon! And Dwight, it’s you again!” Kyroshi cackled as he pulled the turtle’s reigns, causing it to halt. “You know, the fact that we couldn’t find your bodies told me that you all probably survived White Christmas, so I figured I’d see those lovely chest-globes pretty soon.”
“L-listen, dude, you’re outnumbered!” Dwight stammered, standing up to join Logan. “We’re with the Kabuto Guard, and they’re probably dealing with your henchmen now!”
“Yeah, they probably are,” the Syndicate boss agreed. “But that’s fine, I have one more lackey with me! Turncoat, get out here and prove yourself. Cut these fools to ribbons!”
With that, a familiar pea coat-wearing man in a bowler hat slid out of the back of the wagon, his long, curled mustache above his large, smiling mouth. Unsheathing a katana that was hilted on his hip, the undercover Kabuto Guard got into a combat stance as he made eye contact with Dwight and Logan, who could barely contain their own smirks.
“You made a huge mistake, coming out here,” Turncoat said with a grin, readying his sword as he twirled his nefarious mustache with his other hand.
“They sure did,” Kyroshi snickered, drawing his golden katana as he stood up from his perch on the wagon, where the giant turtle growled with confusion as it looked between the two parties. “Let’s just hold them off until Samson arrives, then they’re all boned.”
“Oh, I wasn’t talking about them, boss,” Turncoat began to giggle, where he suddenly jumped to the side, landing back on the wagon and in a swift movement of his hand, redirected his blade so that it was now pointed right at the Syndicate leader’s throat. “I was talking about you and your whole dastardly organization. In the name of the Kabuto Guard of The Jal Mountains, I place you under arrest.”
Hugging his gargantuan, jiggling chest, Dwight laughed along with Logan as the cocky smile on Kyroshi’s face disintegrated into a look of pure horror.
“T-Turncoat…you’re with the Guard? You’ve been working against me this whole time?” Slader’s voice trembled. “N-no! I liked you, you had such a bright future with us!”
“Sorry, ‘boss’, but my allegiance is to the good people of this realm,” Turncoat cackled, putting an arm on Kyroshi’s shoulder as the young man hesitantly dropped his golden sword to the floor of the wagon. Enjoying seeing the villainous man who’d been the orchestrator of so much bad in the ULife-like world, it brought Dwight nothing but satisfaction to see the fellow Earthling squirm in aguish.