CHAPTER FOUR
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All it took for him to exit his soul palace was the general wish to be elsewhere. A twist of vertigo later and he was once more trapped within the body of a bald infant, exactly as he’d left it.
Said body currently in the process of being cradled by a rather distracted young woman he still did not know nearly enough about. He studied her for a moment, brown eyes reflecting the educational video she was watching. Brows pinched together and lips moving silently, as if to commit all the information to memory.
He supposed he could have done worse in a de facto caretaker. For instance, there was a non-zero chance he awoke on that spongy lawn, only to find that not a single parental figure had joined his initial group. Ultimately leaving the role of motherly figure and sole caretaker to the creaturealone.
He shuddered at the mere thought of it.
Apparently taking his wriggling for a build up of gas, Robin spent the next minute and a half patting his back with gentle rocking motions. It was mortifying.
For the last time! I said unhand me vile woman!
Worse yet was the fact he had actually been feeling rather unwell, and, following a surprisingly loud belch, suddenly found himself feeling much better.
Ugh… how demeaning… not even a man’s pride is sacred in this technicolor nightmare world.
Still, even this indignity played well into his plans. Following his initial scare, he’d been careful not to needlessly draw the creatures attention. So far as that thing was concerned, he should seem nothing more than a hopelessly boring baby boy. Entirely too mundane to be worth even a moments fleeting interest. He put his diapers on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. The less it cared about him, the less it knew about him, the more secure he would feel.
These things were the type to feed on pain and suffering, after all, and he did not need complications like that in his life.
An odd choice, he realized, for the guide of a tutorial mainly populated by children, but then, who was he to judge? He was sure keeping track of everything was really hard on the corporately funded conscience averse bureaucrats ostensibly running the show. The Consortium.
I mean, in between space yacht extravaganza’s and wild alien benders, where was a guy supposed to find the time to actually check up on the event they were supposed to be organizing? So the occasional eldritch nightmare slips into the kiddy pin. And? So what? That was all just par for the course, right?
Another unavoidable statistic some overworked clerk would jot down in a quarterly report somewhere, and then promptly forget about. Or it could be that this creature and one’s like it were a fixture of Baby Tutorial’s the world over, which ultimately posed its own set of difficult questions.
But I digress.
Now was not the time for him to rage against the machine. There would be ample opportunity for the serving of just desserts at a later date. For now, he had a mana deficiency to rectify.
Having located it in his soul palace, it was a simple thing to pull up the mana cultivation manual in his mind. Shutting his eyes, before him appeared that same aged scroll. Floating listlessly within a blank void, yet somehow lit by a sourceless, unidirectional light.
With a thought, he broke the wax seal, unrolled the paper, and began to reabsorb the information therein. As he did so, it was as if a memory, long forgotten, were suddenly resurfacing from hazy obscurity. The fog of forgetfulness lifting, little by little, until, with a pop, he found that he knew the contents of the scroll like the back of his hand.
Opening his eyes, he wasted no time in adopting the suggested breathing patterns, adjusting his natural breathing rhythm subtly over time, as not to raise undue suspicion. After five minutes, he was easily maintaining the basic pattern illustrated, and already, he could feel the subtle change come over him. A slight uptick in his mental clarity, a strange tingling in his limbs, followed by a ripple of warmth that washed across his entire body.
An unparalleled feeling of strength suffusing his muscles, as he consciously breathed in wisps of mana for the very first time.
These feelings didn’t last long of course, they rarely did in his experience, yet it was enough just to know there was enough ambient mana in the air for cultivation like this to even be possible. And while it would have been strange for that not to be the case, at this point, he wouldn’t be taking anything for granted.
Richard quickly checked his parameters.
Mana Capacity: 1
Yeah, he’d be so lucky. Unfortunately, this wasn’t going to be quite so easy, nor was it going to be quite so fast. In fact, it would likely be days before he saw that number tick up to two. All the more reason to keep on keeping on, he supposed. And so, without further ado, he did just that. Hopefully by day two he’d be ready to start on the second part of the breathing manual.
After all, it was called [Azure Dew Collects in Open Palms] for a reason. He’d just have to see how fast he could drain this clearing of all its ambient mana in the meantime.
+++
When Daniel Clark opened his eyes onto a cloudless blue sky, it was with the fading imprint of those parting words still burned into his retina.
~CALCULATING KARMIC PROFILE~
*DING!*
~KARMIC PROFILE CALCULATED~
Tutorial Designation: Hell Mode
Prepare yourself for complete integration. You may feel a slight pinch.
He wondered what it said about him that he hadn’t been able to wipe the stupid grin off his face since. To his left and right he began to hear groans and quiet curses. They were far enough away that he knew he’d have ample time to get up and make a run for it should the situation call for it.
He was nimble, in decent enough shape, and more than anything, he was confident in his situational awareness. You didn’t grow up in the system as long as he had, bouncing aimlessly from foster home to foster home, without gaining an accurate sense for just how much space you occupied in relation to others.
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Or, just how little.
A deep, reverberating growl interrupted his musing. He was on his feet in an instant. Spinning towards the origin of the sound, he was a bit surprised to note how all but a handful of those around him were just as quick on the uptake.
Hmm… well if there here, then maybe that means they’re just like me? Uh. Not really a fan of that idea, honestly. Means harsh competition.
While the others attempted in vain to peer into the murky tree line, with its thick canopy, complete lack of illumination, and creepily creaking branches—like some haunted tribute to the Brothers Grimm—Daniel made a point of studying his opponents. He didn’t particularly like what he saw.
That guy’s a cop for sure. That guy… probably a drug dealer. Gangbanger. Gangbanger. Oh? Not affiliated with the same gang, apparently.
In the midst of his inspections, he briefly caught the eye of a shapely Latina with a completely shaved head. If looks could kill, the glare she gave him in that moment would have liquified his bones in an instant. Daniel didn’t look away, it just wasn’t how these things were done. He held her gaze, nice and steady, for just long enough to show he wasn’t afraid, then flicked his eyes to the side, as if he were merely bored with the interaction.
The woman snorted, turning her glare back on the thing slowly stalking them through the trees.
Jeez. What’s her damage?
Knowing he’d never get an answer, he moved on.
Yikes! Chick with the demon tattoos looks like she eats nails for breakfast. And…? Penitentiary!? Christ! Guy’s built like a brick house! Still in his orange jumpsuit as well. If he’s here, then there’s no guarantee all of these people aren’t criminals.
Not great, on the whole, but he would manage. He always did. Even still…
I’ll have to be a lot more careful moving forward. Some of these people are not to be underestimated.
It was just as he’d finished categorizing those around him into the only two boxes that truly mattered, wolves and sheeple, that the thing trampling through the forest, just out of sight, finally decided to make itself seen. Several of the others swore in surprise, staggering backwards in either fear or disbelief. Daniel stayed right where he was. That stupid smile a permanent fixture on his face, as the monster movie feature turned real life creature slowly crept its way into the clearing.
“I-is that a bloody werewolf?!” exclaimed one of the others, an English bloke—his hair all spiked up like some 90’s punk rocker.
Granted, terrible hairdo aside, the guy wasn’t wrong.
Fully bipedal, if a bit bowlegged, 6”11 if it was an inch, with patchy grey fur, dripping yellow canines, and eyes that shone the color of blue raspberry, a bona fide werewolf stalked into the clearing. And above its head, in clearly legible, bold faced text—as if this were some sort of game!—read the following, in bright red lettering.
+—|-(INFECTED WEREWOLF)-|—+
•[Lvl 7 ELITE]•
Seeing this, Daniel decided to try something he’d only read about previously.
“Status.”
And in an instant, two things happened nearly simultaneously. First, a semitransparent screen denoting all of his stats and abilities appeared right before his eyes. And second, the werewolf lunged forward, nearly too fast to see, and tore the spiky head off the wannabe punk rocker—splashing those in his near vicinity with buckets of bright red blood.
Right, so. Not a game then. Got it.
And yet still with that goofy smile! Yeah, something was definitely wrong with him.
+++
Robin was around one minute thirty into the fourth video lecture from the “How to best comport one’s self when in the presence of high ranking individuals,” series, when a chime resounded throughout the too bright clearing.
*DING!*
Beware Ye Who Entered Here! Know That Mortal Danger is Near!
You sense that something harboring ill intentions approaches the tree line. You have three minutes until this unknown assailant is upon you.
(HINT: Be sure to prepare accordingly within the allotted time! A weapon may aid in the slaying of monsters!)
Time Remaining: 2:59
The sudden spike of adrenaline that simple notification elicited had her heart nearly hammering out of her chest, meanwhile she didn’t think her mouth had ever been so dry in her life. Robin didn’t know why she was so surprised. She’d known this was coming.
It said so rather plainly. We’ll have to fight to survive. In this “new world order,” it’s either kill or be killed. Even if you’re only one month old.
She took a few precious seconds to take long, steadying breaths.
“What the f-!” Denise cut herself off abruptly, a frustrated pout on her lips. “What in the world is going on here? Hey you! Blinky, or whatever you said your name was! What’s the meaning of this?”
To everyone’s surprise, the normally outgoing chatterbox of a mascot had absolutely nothing to say. It merely swiped its paw across its whiskers in a zipping motion, an actual, honest to gods, zipper sound effect playing from who knows where.
Do they have a soundboard in there or something?
It was actually a bit eerie.
Time Remaining: 2:51
“What the f-! Ugh! What do you mean,” Denise pantomimed zipping her own lips. “You won’t shut up for the whole lamb day, but the second you might actually prove useful you decide to clam up?!”
“Denise,” Robin tried, eyes never leaving the ticking counter.
Time Remaining: 2:45
“No! Don’t even start! This florker is going to answer my mother florking questions or I swear to god I’ll strangle it to death with its own florking-! Flork-! Gah! This stupid forking censor! I can’t! I literally forking can’t!”
“Denise! Times ticking.”
The woman spun on her heals, ready to spew out all her frustrations on anyone nearby, but Robin couldn’t allow her the chance.
“Quickly, help me gather up all the children. We’ll pile them near the center of the clearing. Eva, Maya, Marlene, you help pitch in too. It’s our responsibility as the adults in this situation to protect them at all costs. Lord knows no one else is going to.”
At that, Denise, surprisingly, took one long look at the scattered group of children, and meekly acquiesced. The girls on the other hand…?
Clearly frightened, she got to watch in real time as each girl in turn, not a one of them older than nineteen, subtly straightened under her firm, confident gaze—eyes going wide, even as lips flattened into hard lines. Only now did they begin to truly comprehend what was going to be expected of them. Each flicked quick glances towards the equally frightened children, hands unconsciously straying to their own stomachs in response.
Robin, didn’t fail to pick up that unconscious tick. She’d suspected as much, but it was still nice to have confirmation. Which likely meant that she too was pregnant.
Robin sighed, resisting the urge to rub her own flat belly, and the life that was, apparently, growing inside.
Man. What a shirty way to find out.
Time Remaining: 0:14
They’d just barely managed to gather all the kids together at the center of the clearing, and form a rudimentary defensive perimeter, when the timer began ticking down its final seconds.
With a thought, Robin opened up her status screen, hesitating over one item in particular.
•—|-Potential Point Total-|—•
[52 Points]
Sure, she had enough, but was it worth the expenditure?
After all, it would basically amount to half of her entire stockpile. She could only gain so many points from watching video lectures, and then what? Watching them over again awarded jack squat, which only left one of two options for point acquisition. Either she could one, earn a pittance by playing the little puzzle games included in the help menu.
She’d done the math, and even if she played twelve hours a day, seven days a week, it would’ve taken her two entire weeks to amass a measly fifty points. Or… she could hunt and kill monsters. Each kill netting her ten points for every level the monster possessed. And when Participation Points effectively meant food, water, and safety?
Yeah, well, when you put it like that it really is no choice at all, is it?
Robin bit the bullet, and bought the lamned club.
In the next moment, two things happened almost simultaneously. First, what looked to be a gnarled walking stick appeared as if from thin air, hovering there for a second, before clattering uselessly to the ground—Robin far too surprised by its sudden appearance to reach out and catch it in time. And second, the creature they’d all been waiting so patiently for finally decided to grace them with its presence.
Time Remaining: 0:01
Time Remaining: 0:00
The ground shook. The trees swayed. And then? Something truly inexplicable stomped its way into the clearing.