Novels2Search

Chapter 95

Team 0 reentered the dungeon with a sense of somber determination, their recent encounter with the poachers and the consequential events weighing heavily on their minds. The C-rank healer had given them a clean bill of health, but the stress of the situation they had been through was much harder to deal with.

The vast expanse of shifting sands and harsh winds seemed even more unforgiving than before. They moved cautiously, their senses heightened for any sign of danger. As they returned to where they had left things off, James led the team, his Thakinetic Awareness scanning their surroundings. Despite the turmoil he felt within, he knew he needed to stay focused. The safety of his team depended on it.

Their first encounter since returning was with a swarm of the smaller, insectile golems. The creatures, made of sand and stone, emerged from the ground, their numbers seemingly endless. Daniel took the front, his shield glowing, deflecting the golems' relentless strikes and taking the brunt of their attention. Ezekiel supported him with buffs, allowing the Tank to stand there without worries about being overwhelmed, while Maria and Lauren attacked from the sides.

James joined the fray, enhancing his body with Empowerment. He struck out at the golems, his punches powerful and precise. Yet, as the fight progressed, he couldn't shake off a nagging feeling. His strikes, while effective, seemed to lack their usual potency. They still managed to go through the golems with little trouble, but where once he would have barely needed to think about it, now he felt he had to concentrate on every blow, making sure he supplied enough mana.

He pushed the thought aside, focusing on the task at hand. The golems fell one by one, their forms crumbling back into the sand from which they had emerged. Soon after, the entire swarm had been defeated, and after a quick sweep with Awareness to ensure nothing was about to sneak attack them, they focused on retrieving the mana stones.

But as James bent down to do exactly that - an action he had done so many times by now he could do it without even thinking about it - the realization hit him.

His body continued in its task, using his sharp knives as a chisel to carve the golems until he could reach the precious reward, but his mind was busy elsewhere.

I can't really expect myself to be perfectly fine after what happened. It would be weirder if I didn't feel anything, really… Still, I don't like this. Thakinesis is based upon my Willpower; if that wavers, I become weaker. I was never on the losing side of that equation, but it looks like it's more of a double-edged sword than I first thought.

James stood up, the mana stones in his hand heavier than usual. He turned to face his team, his expression unreadable beneath his mask.

"Is everything alright?" Ezekiel asked, noticing James's silence.

James hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Yeah... Yeah, it's fine."

But it wasn't fine. No matter how much he tried to rationalize his emotions, James still felt empty inside. It was like a giant hand had scooped up his insides, leaving him hollow and listless.

As they continued their trek through the dungeon, encountering and dispatching more monsters, James's internal struggle became more apparent. His usual confidence and decisiveness in battle were overshadowed by a hint of hesitation, a subtle reluctance in his strikes, which in turn meant his Empowerment was much weaker than usual.

The difference ended up being so relevant that, at one point, he misjudged his strength and didn't manage to get out of a lizard's lunge, allowing it to catch his leg in its jaws.

James gave a muffled cry, the pain refocusing him. Adrenaline coursed through his body, sharpening everything. His survival instincts came to the fore, and for once, he was not weighed down by any secondary thought. He brought his fist down on the monster's head, hard.

It decided not to let go, thus sealing its own fate, as its skull was cracked open by the force he exerted. Its jaws, which had been busy trying to crush his legs despite not having managed to sink its teeth into the D-rank battle suit, finally released, allowing James to scoot away from it.

When the monster's companions had been dealt with, Ezekiel wandered over, his hands glowing softly with healing light.

James sighed in relief, the pain being soothed in a flash, even as the younger boy busied himself taking care of the bruised flesh.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Once that was done, the White Mage shot him a long look and evidently reached a decision. Without saying anything, he walked over to Daniel, tapped him on the shoulder, and sent him to James.

The scene made James smile. He didn't want to worry his friends with his behavior, much preferring keeping his problem to himself, but he realized that once it started affecting his performance, they couldn't ignore it anymore.

At least Daniel is discreet. He won't pry too much.

The Tank sat heavily next to him, silently offering comfort. After a couple of minutes of silence, during which the others made some distance to provide them with a semblance of privacy, James finally voiced his thoughts.

"I think... I think I'm afraid." He admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of my own power. What happened with the F-ranker... I didn't want to kill him. But I did. And now, every time I strike, I can't help but wonder… Am I going to lose control of my power like that again?"

Daniel placed a reassuring hand on James's shoulder. "It's normal to feel this way, James. What happened... it was a tough call, but you did what you had to do. We're still alive because of you."

James sighed. "I know that. I also don't really care about what damage I could do to monsters. It's just that I hate feeling like I killed him because I was too hasty. I used a power I had only tested a couple times against monsters on a human. That was bound to end in disaster."

Daniel sensed James's inner turmoil and knew that words alone couldn't dispel the shadows that clung to his friend's soul. He sighed and evidently decided to share something more personal, something he had kept close to his heart.

"You know, James." Daniel started, his voice steady but softer than usual "I've always kind of been jealous of you. Your strength and your determination have always inspired me. But more than that, it's your sense of what's right. You've always been our moral compass, guiding us through the gray areas we find ourselves in. No matter how much I want to, I'm not like that."

James looked at Daniel, surprised by the admission. He had always considered himself just another team member, doing his part. He had stepped more into a leadership position lately, yes, but he had always seen the Tank as the most reliable of their group.

"I don't feel that way, though." James confessed. "After what happened... I've been questioning myself. Did I cross a line? Have I become what I've railed so much against?"

Daniel shook his head. "No, James. You did what you had to do. The world we live in, the battles we fight, they're not black and white. We're constantly faced with tough choices; sometimes, there are no good options. But what sets us apart is our ability to carry the weight of those decisions, learn from them and move forward. You didn't kill that man because you wanted to or because you felt like you could get away with it." He said, ignoring James' flinch.

James felt the sincerity in Daniel's words, despite their directness, and they resonated within him. He realized that his doubts and fears were a testament to his humanity, to his unwillingness to become desensitized to the violence and the difficult choices they had to make. What he had done still didn't feel good, but knowing one of the people he respected the most thought him innocent, made him feel surprisingly relieved.

Daniel continued. "I've had my own struggles too, James. I want to be successful, not for the glory or the fame, but for my family. I want to give them a life where they don't have to worry about the next meal or whether they can afford new shoes when the old ones wear out. But I also want to do it the right way, without compromising who I am."

The Tank stared forward, evidently discomforted at how deeply he was opening up, but still pushed forward." That's why I chose to stick with the AA, with Team 0. Here, I know we're doing things for the right reasons. We're not just fighting monsters to make money; we're protecting people, making a difference. And that's something worth fighting for."

James nodded, feeling a deep sense of respect for Daniel. He genuinely admired his friend's commitment to his family and his principles. It reminded him that they were all fighting for something bigger than themselves.

"Thank you, bro. This helped." It was all James could say without choking up, but it was enough.

----------------------------------------

As the sun began its descent, casting a warm, orange glow over the vast desert landscape and the sandstorm's main bulk to the north, Team 0 gathered around a small makeshift camp they had set up for the night. The atmosphere was subdued, and each member was lost in their thoughts about the day's events and the uncertain future ahead.

James, Daniel, Maria, Ezekiel, and Lauren sat in a circle, their battle suits partially unfastened to allow for some comfort during their rest, even as James kept an eye on their surroundings. The light from a small, mana-powered lamp flickered gently, casting shadows that danced across their faces.

Maria broke the silence first. "I can't stop thinking about the Emerald Guard. Do you think they'll come after us for this?" Her voice was tinged with concern, a rare vulnerability showing through her usually confident demeanor.

Lauren, sharpening her daggers methodically, chimed in. "They might try. But we've got Miss Walker on our side. She won't let them get away with anything."

Ezekiel nodded, his eyes on the light. "She's always been there for us. She'll help now too."

Daniel looked around at his teammates, his expression serious. "We need to be prepared for anything. Miss Walker or not, we can't let our guard down. This is different than being used as bait a few times. We were just tangentially involved there. We're actively in it now."

James listened to his friends, their words echoing his own thoughts. "We've always known that being Awakeners would put us in dangerous situations. Especially when we decided to go with the AA and didn’t take the easy payout a Guild would have given us."

The cool night air started to set in, and the desert temperature dropped rapidly as the sun disappeared below the horizon. The sky turned a deep shade of blue, and stars began to twinkle in the vast expanse above them as the storm raged up north.

Ezekiel broke the silence, his voice softer now. "You know, despite everything, I'm glad I'm part of this team. I can't imagine going through all of this with anyone else."

Maria smiled, the flickering light reflecting in her eyes. "Same here. I would have never thought I'd come to like you guys this much when we first started."

Lauren, finished with her daggers, looked up at the starry sky. "Let's just take it one step at a time. We'll deal with tomorrow when it comes. For now, let's just assign these damn points we got from that fight."

And just like that, the good mood that had been built up evaporated. James felt his smile freezing. However, rather than falling back into despair, he just sighed. "You are right. Let's get this over with."

Status.