“Grover? I know it's hard man, but we can get through this. You've just gotta keep fighting, don't give up on me”
My best friend Ethan gripped my hand desperately, like he was the one barely holding on to life. I try to slide my unfocused eyes over to him and give him a reassuring smile, but even an action so small I once would've done unconsciously now seems to take a herculean effort. He was wrong though. My oncologist had told me yesterday I was terminal. That I had a day or two left, the week if I was lucky.
26 and I'm dying of cancer. It seemed like a sick joke when I first heard it from my doctor. Stage 3? On my spine? Too large to remove surgically, and in a spot that can't be safely accessed? I was dumbfounded. Cancer wasn't supposed to be even a tangential concern until I'm in my 40s, but here we are. I was prescribed radiation therapy and chemo, but as the months passed none of it seemed to help. At the start of the year we discovered the cancer had spread throughout my body.
Maybe dying wouldn't be so bad. Maybe everything would stop hurting. Maybe I'd see my dad again. I finally managed to slide my eyes over to Ethan. I focused my eyes, and suddenly noticed he wasn't the only one here. Beside him were my mother and my sister, all with worried looks on their faces. This…...is fine. Surrounded by my loved ones, my pain as dull as it's ever been, I feel now is the time to say goodbye. I open my mouth to speak, and my voice comes out in a low croak, foreign even to my own ears.
“I love you guys.”
I see my mother open her mouth to respond, but I don't hear her, or anything for that matter. My eyes close for the last time, and with that small smile still on my face I pass into the void.
***
I'm falling. My eyes snap open of their own accord, and all I see is a nauseating blur of colors. As my eyes come into focus, I begin to recognize the images before me. The trip to the beach I took with my family when I was 10. Playing video games with my sister while we were snowed in. My father's funeral. This is my life before me, and I gaze upon it in wonder as the images appear and disappear faster and faster. My high school graduation. Applying to college. My cancer diagnosis. They're moving so fast now that they're blurring into one another, and I can no longer tell them apart. Just as I begin to wonder what happens when the images reach the end of my life, everything goes black and I hit the water.
I resurface sputtering for a breath I don't even know if I need. Golden motes begin slowly flaking off me, the only light in the inky black sea, and I feel my sense of self begin to fade. I begin to scream for help, then cry for it, but there's nobody here to help me but me. I'm alone. I didn't spend years fighting to survive just to be wiped out like this, I won't go out with a damn whimper. I reach out with one of my faded arms and snatch one of the motes before the ever increasing current can sweep it away. As I come into contact with it, it sinks into my body and I feel more present, more real, if only ever so slightly. It goes on like this for what felt like weeks, with me forcing down and grabbing as many of the spectral lights as I can, trying to hold onto what few images I have of my previous life. My name is Grover. My best friend is Ethan. My sister is Sara. My mom is Elaine. I have a bachelor's in life science and biology. I will not give up here. I won't be erased. Over and over I repeated to myself, as the mantra slowly lost its meaning. Just as I thought I could carry on no longer, I saw a massive vortex on the horizon, suckling me in. Even as I feel the last of myself slipping through my fingers, I hold onto the last few orbs that contain the memories that make me me, and for the first time in my life I pray.
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Syncing…...
Error:
Grover.bin is corrupted. Initiating repair operation
Recovery partially successful. Assigning Grover.bin to a compatible entity.
Grover.bin has been successfully assigned. Rebooting entity...
Congratulations!
By reincarnating with your mind intact, you have received the Reincarnated title.
Congratulations!
Due to a special action, you have received the Spiritual Bulwark title.
Intelligence requirement met: Default system interaction method set to “Mental”.
You may think the word "Status" at any time to bring up your menu.
…...What?