~~~
His father waits for him by the city gates.
Liu Jin does not know what sort of face he is making when he arrives at Eastern Port City. All he knows is that his father takes off running with all his might the moment he sees him. Liu Jianguo falls to his knees upon reaching Liu Jin and engulfs him in a hug.
“I am sorry, my son,” he says. “I am so sorry.”
Why?
The question echoes in Liu Jin’s mind as his father pulls him closer, his hand against the back of his neck.
Why is his father apologizing? Why does he look so sad?
Why… why are there tears running down his cheeks?
Something breaks in Liu Jin. The feelings that had been kept suppressed suddenly rush out all at once. Tears fall freely from his eyes as he sobs into his father’s chest, hiding his face from the world. His hands hold on to his father’s robes with all of his strength, almost as if scared to let go.
“F-father,” Liu Jin says between sobs. “I… I…”
I am sorry.
I didn’t want to do it.
I didn’t want to—
“Do not blame yourself, son,” his father says, grabbing his shoulders to force Liu Jin to look into his eyes. “None of what happened is your fault, so do not blame yourself. Master would have never wished for that.”
Liu Jin doesn’t answer.
He can’t.
All he can do is cry and cry, finally safe to do so now that he is in his father’s arms.
~~~
His father carries him on his back all the way back to the clinic.
On the way there, Liu Jin finds himself drifting in and out of sleep. His father’s back is warm and comfortable. In fact, Liu Jin feels so at peace that he regrets not asking his father to carry him more often back when he was a child.
How long has it been since his father has done something like this?
Liu Jin can’t remember. He has tried so hard not to be a burden for his father that times like this when he is completely vulnerable are rare.
It feels safe.
Logically, Liu Jin realizes it doesn’t make sense. Liu Jin is in the Ninth Level of the Inner Realm. Soon, he will reach the Nascent Realm. Meanwhile, his father cannot use Qi due to his condition. If anyone is in a position to protect the other, it is Liu Jin.
Yet Liu Jin feels safe on his father’s back.
“We are here,” his father says, gently shaking him into awakeness once they arrive at the clinic. Liu Jin has to stop himself from voicing his disappointment at having to climb down.
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Upon entering the house, Liu Jin spots a bottle and two cups on the table. His father must have left them there before heading out.
“Tea?” Liu Jin asks, though he doubts it. His father would have brought out the tea kettle if that were the case.
“Not this time, son,” his father says as they both take a seat. Liu Jianguo pours down two cups and pushes one towards Liu Jin. “I had hoped to use this on a happier occasion, but things seldom go as planned.”
Liu Jin looks at the cup for a while.
“I can’t get drunk.”
“Yes, you can,” his father says with authority that can only come from firsthand experience. “Master has trained you until purging toxins from your body has become a reflex. However, stopping yourself from doing so is a simple matter. You just need to remember what your body felt like before you learned the technique.”
Huh.
Liu Jin blinks for a moment. His father’s words make sense. He had just never bothered to do something like that because it seemed counterintuitive. After all, who’d want to make himself vulnerable to poisons? Who’d want to risk the sanctity of his body or the clarity of his mind?
Right now, Liu Jin could do with a little less clarity.
He closes his eyes and focuses on the technique he has been taught to perform at all moments, one that has become as natural as breathing to him.
With a flash of insight, he stops doing it.
Liu Jin would like to say it is like flexing a muscle he did not realize he had, but that is not quite right. Rather, it is like relaxing a muscle that has been kept in a flexed state for years. The sudden lack of tension in his system is freeing in a way that is almost painful.
“Ready?” His father asks. Liu Jin nods.
“Ready.”
Father and son each grab their cups and, in unison, down their drinks in one go.
Liu Jianguo places his cup back on the table and grabs the bottle to pour himself more wine. Liu Jin, however, does not handle his first real taste of alcohol nearly as well. The cup slips from his fingers and clatters to the table while he is in the middle of a coughing fit that wracks his whole body. He pounds his chest wildly, trying to make the burning liquid go down his throat faster.
Liu Jin glares at the bottle in his father’s hand with teary eyes.
“Why do people even drink alcohol?”
“To forget. To remember. To be happy. To be sad.” The corners of his father’s mouth quirk up as he lifts the bottle in Liu Jin’s direction. “More?”
Liu Jin frowns but pushes his cup forward, allowing his father to fill it again. This time he takes a much smaller sip. It is bitter, but not as much as before.
“I remember all the training Master made me do, so I’d be able to purge poisons from my body at all times.” Liu Jin takes another sip. “I think I didn’t have a good night’s sleep for a month because he kept poisoning me while I was asleep.”
Never would Liu Jin have imagined that he’d find himself missing it.
His father chuckles. “Master’s methods were harsh but effective. I remember when I was still trying to convince him to make me his disciple. A city we were passing through was hosting a tournament. I signed up, foolishly thinking I’d impress Master by winning. I was sixteen at the time.”
This story. Liu Jin heard part of it before. Right, back during the Eastern Port City Tournament. His father told him his first tournament was when he was sixteen.
“What did Master do?”
“He poisoned me before the finals while making sure a high-grade cultivation pill made its way to the hands of my opponent. I remember thinking it was a test and feeling proud of myself for having overcome it. Then Master told me that being able to win under those conditions meant the tournament had never been anything special, so I shouldn’t feel proud of myself.” Liu Jianguo shakes his head fondly at the memory and takes another drink. “He was always harsh.”
“One time, when we were in Poison Fang Canyon, he used a paralyzing poison on me.” Liu Jin takes a longer sip this time. “I was paralyzed for hours until I figured it out how to purge it.”
Liu Jianguo throws his head back and laughs. “Let me tell you about the time Master and I traveled to the Dead Plains.”
Before they know it, father and son are trading stories as more and more wine is poured in their cups. They do this until the sky turns dark, and they keep doing it long after everyone has fallen asleep. One bottle becomes two, and two become four. The more they do it, the more they start to smile and laugh as they remember the memory of the man who, to them, was like a father and a grandfather.
~~~