Novels2Search

Chaper 2

After the talk about Status and Classes, there was quiet. I got inside a bedroll and started thinking about what to do.

‘I can’t believe I am in a different world. Why am I here? Did I die before coming here? Let’s see, I was going to the event wearing my costume and suddenly I woke up here. What should I do? I should try to get back to my world.’ I shook my head. ‘Who am I kidding? I have no intention of going to the place I am cursed with being average. Here I have a great advantage. Yes, I won’t be going back. What I really need to do is to get strong and become a superhero!’

I turned to my side thinking of my superhero moniker, giddy with expectation. After fantasizing just a little, I turned my focus on my immediate concerns.

‘I can get three more Classes. Should I pick mage? Is there even magic here?’ I turned to Felicia, who was watching Eli, and whispered. “Hey, Felicia.”

Felicia turned to me reluctantly and raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Does magic exist?”

She sighed and nodded.

“Then, do I have to pick Mage Class to use it?”

Felicia opened her mouth to answer but Eli answered instead. “Yes, it does and no, you don’t need it. Not the normal magic at any rate. I raised an eyebrow and gestured her to continue. “Magic is generally about natural phenomena. Like if you throw wood into a big enough fire, wood burns. Everybody can use this kind of magic.” She said, then created a small fire above her hand. “Here, you need fuel and heat for fire.”

I nodded and tried to imagine gas in my hand and felt something inside me move. Then I imagined a spark to ignite the gas, which created a blue fire on my hand. I heard Felicia gasp. I looked at her, then cut the mana, killing the fire. “What is it?”

Felicia only looked. Eli cleared her throat. I turned to her and she said “It’s not easy to create fire, creating heat is especially tricky for people that don’t know anything that gives enough heat other than fire. Your fuel was different too, what did you use?”

“I used natural gas for fuel and spark as a heat source.”

Eli leaned forward. “Interesting. What can you tell me about the gas?”

I shrugged. “Nothing much. I just know that it exists and that it’s flammable.”

Eli nodded and held her hand open. After a second, there were blue flames on her hand. She stopped the flames quickly and nodded once. “These flames seem much more powerful than the ones I used until now and so far easiest to start a bit costly though. Thank you.”

I whistled. “Now that’s a problem if you learn so much from me for nothing.”

“Hey.” I turned to Felicia, she continued. “We helped you this far didn’t we?”

I nodded and smirked. “True, but we already made a deal. You should definitely give me something for my knowledge.”

Eli smiled. “What do you want? I can hug you again if you want?”

“Hehehehe. Ehem. I mean, good enough.” I opened my arms and stood up. “I am waiting.”

Eli chuckled and put her book away. Just when she was about to hug me, I felt someone else in my arms. It was Felicia. Without wasting a second, I hugged her in return and started stroking her back. Then as suddenly as she came, Felicia parted and said “You wanted someone to hug you right?”

I nodded. ‘Will she hug me every time I persuade Eli? Even though it’s obvious she agrees too fast? Ehehehe.

No! I can’t accept this!’

“Sigh. Felicia, look. Now I would abuse the shit of this, but I tricked you enough for today, so I will tell you this. Stop jumping on me, if you don’t want me that is, or you will find yourself hugging me half of the time.”

Felicia looked blankly first than horrified. She got red and said “I-I won’t l-let you hug Eli. No matter what!” She ended high. She then folded her arms and looked away. I turned to Eli to see what she thinks but she just chuckled and sat back.

I sighed. “So Eli. You said this was normal magic. I assume there is a different kind of magic.”

Eli nodded. “It’s called Thaumaturgy. Only a certain Class can use it.”

I nodded. “Normal magic is logical. Does that mean Thaumaturgy is illogical?”

Eli shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s just that, you need a special Skill to even think about using it. There are exceptions to this rule, however.”

“Do you know the Class?”

“I know one, but you won’t be able to pick it. It has special conditions to unlock.”

I nodded. “Let’s get back to magic.” I glanced at Eli, who nodded. Then I continued “What are the limits of it?”

Eli smiled. “That’s easy. Only limits are your knowledge of the nature and amount of mana you have.”

“So mana is a limit. Isn’t there magical focuses, batteries or such?”

Eli shook her head. “I don’t know what they are. How are they supposed to work?”

I turned to Felicia who caught on quickly and looked away. That made me smile. ‘Damn, that’s adorable.’ I shook my head and turned back to Eli. “Magical focus supposed to focus magic in a way to lower mana consumption. Mana battery is an object or constructs you put in mana for later.”

Eli looked surprised. “I don’t think they exist, but they can. I know a few magical materials that can hold mana for some time myself. Generally, enchanters make magical items with them, like a burning sword.”

I smiled and nodded. “Do you know how they are doing it?”

Eli nodded. “You can enchant an item by continuously using a spell on the item until the spell starts to echo from it. After that, all you need to do is pushing mana to the item and the spell will activate.”

I grinned wide. “So that means I don’t have to get a Class for it either.” Eli nodded. “Now I picked two classes. Do you have any good suggestions for the last?”

“Maybe. I have a few but what do you need?”

“Something that can make me more inclined to magic or maybe if there is…” Then I thought better of it. “…no. I will keep it for now. Thanks.”

Eli nodded. “Do you have any other questions?”

“Do you know any spells to sense other beings around you? Or that can give you night vision?”

She shook her head. “No.” She then smiled. “But I know a cleaning spell.”

“Really. Is that why you are so shiny?” She shook her head which made me shrug. ”Why don’t you teach Felicia?” I pointed at a very dirty Felicia who grumbled.

Eli looked at her too and smiled. “She has no desire to learn.”

I look at Felicia quizzically. “Why? Isn’t it better to just use a spell to clean yourself rather than using water?” I sat up and raised my hands above my head, like talking to an excited crowd. “Or maybe,” I pointed at Felicia accusingly and continued “…Felicia just likes to touch herself!”

Felicia froze. She slowly turned to Eli, who was smiling at her innocently, and started trembling. She looked at me angrily and said “What are you talking about! I just like water!”

I gestured to her with my hands to calm down. “Don’t misunderstand. If I was you, I would love to touch myself.”

She calmed down and smiled at me victoriously. “So you love to touch yourself.”

I shook my head. “No. I love to touch you.” She showed her fist to me. “Or you to touch me.” I smiled and trembled for good measure. That filled Felicia’s creeped meter and she ran away to somewhere. I turned to Eli whom I shared a look with and said “Back to topic. How does cleaning spell work?” Eli shrugged. “Don’t you have to know how it works to use it?”

Eli shook her head. “This is a thaumaturgy spell, as such you don’t need to know how it works.” I moved to interject but she gestured me to stop. “I know what I said about thaumaturgy but this kind of spells are special in that you can use these without having the class.” She looked at me, waiting for me to say something. I just nodded lamely, so she continued. “Now repeat what I say.” I nodded. Eli took a deep breath and started. “Oh Cnaela, God of Maids.”

‘God of Maids? That’s ridiculous.’ I chuckled and took a kick to the knee for it. I looked at Eli, she gestured me to go on, and so I did. “Oh Cnaela, God of Maids.”

“Oh Abor, God of Lightning.”

“Find the filth.”

“Find the filth.”

“Find Victor.” I looked at Felicia who was grinning ear to ear and with my face gestured, ‘what?’ She didn’t respond.

“And destroy it.”

“And destroy it.”

A light washed me. I looked at myself and saw that I and even my previously dirty clothes were now clean, sweat and dirt gone. I turned to Eli and said “Wow. This was great! I can’t believe how-“

Then I heard Felicia talk again.

“And punish him.”

What followed was a searing pain in all my body. For a second, I couldn’t move any part of my body. Then as suddenly as it came, it went away.

I looked at surprised Felicia. She opened her mouth and closed it. She opened it again and said “It shocked him too little! He should have stayed down for at least ten minutes!”

I turned to Eli, who seemed to be trying really hard not to laugh, and said “W-What was that?!”

Eli took down her hand from her mouth and said “It was the Curse of Lightning God. It only works once for everyone but it’s famously known to be very painful. And it should have lasted at least ten minutes, Felicia said as much. Curious indeed.” I got up and she said, “You looked at your Status right?” I nodded. “Did you look at your Blessings?” I shook my head.

‘Status.’

Status

Name: Victor

Age: 18

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 10

Agility: 10

Vitality: 10

Charm: 20

Attribute Points: 0

Class: Linguist-1(%13), None x3

Blessings

Blessing of God of Purity: Immune to all mundane curses. 99.99% increased defense against curses invoked with a God’s name.

Blessing of God of Lightning: 10% effectiveness to all lightning spells.

Blessing of God of Humanity: Able to take four classes with four quarters.

“I have three blessings.”

Eli looked mildly surprised. “What are they?”

“I got the Blessing of God of Purity.”

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“G-God of Purity!” I turned to Felicia who seemed to forget to close her mouth. I nodded seriously and turned back to Eli. I heard the sound of teeth clinking. That made me smile smugly.

Eli smiled too and said “We know what it entails. Immunity against the curses is a very useful thing to have, especially against dark thaumaturgy.”

I nodded but I wasn’t very sure about the part about invoking God’s name. After all, if curse is strong enough, it can kill me instantly, blessing or no blessing. I told as much to Eli. She smiled and said “Don’t worry. Curses invoked with Gods’ name aren’t very powerful. In fact, Abor’s punishment is the strongest known curse of that type. And it works only once. You should even thank Felicia for it since it could be-“ I gave her a look she coughed once and instead said, “What about the others?”

“There is the Blessing of God of Lightning, which isn’t very big.” Eli nodded. “And Blessing of God of Humanity.”

Eli cocked her head. “Are you sure about the God of Humanity?” I nodded. “This is the first time I hear about them.” She was silent for a few seconds, then said “It’s what lets you take four classes right?” I nodded. “They should be a powerful God then. Either that or…”

“Or?”

Eli sighed and ran her hands on her hair. “Or they want to make you their avatar.”

“Avatar? What does it mean?”

Eli shook her head. “An avatar represents God. They have responsibilities for the God they represent.”

I nodded. “It’s good that they are God of Humanity then. When do you think they will make me their avatar?”

“When they think you are ready.”

I nodded and cocked my head. “So, which God?”

Eli looked panicked for a second. “What do you mean?”

“You are like me, I can guess as much. So, which God?”

Eli seemed torn. “I-I can’t say, sorry.”

I looked at her closely. “Are we enemies?”

Eli shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

I sighed. “That’s good. It would be a waste.”

“Why?”

I grinned ear to ear. “I am pretty sure two avatars would make a great team.” Eli just nodded. I turned to Felicia who seemed thoughtful. “By the way. I used the cleaning spell and it was easy.” I pointed at Felicia. “And our friend here used a powerful thaumaturgy curse.” I glared at her and added. “On me.”

Felicia looked at me blankly and said “So what?”

I narrowed my eyes and said, “You really are a pervert.”

Felicia continued to look at me blankly for a while. I raised my brow and waited. After a few seconds, she started to get red but before she broke completely, she turned around and ran away. I sighed. “I don’t understand. Why won't she just come out and say she is? Whatever.”

‘Time for some experimentation. Now the question is, how can you detect a person? What is there about a human I can discern? There is heat but it’s too situational. There was a fish, what was it? I don’t remember but they could find prey by detecting the electricity in their body or such.’ I shook my head. ‘It won’t work.’ Then something hit me. ‘Yes! Every human has a magnetic field. If I can somehow spread my mana around with the intent to detect magnetic fields it should work. Mana is very convenient after all.’

I closed my eyes and started trying the spell. I imagined an independent magnetic field and my own. Then I imagined how the two interact. Then I stopped imagining the other field and just focused on my own field. Then I willed it to show me other magnetic fields around me. I waited and waited. After a few seconds, I got a result. The resulting magnetic field was very big. ‘This should be the world’s magnetic field.’ After a few seconds, there was another, smaller one. It was Eli’s magnetic field.

I started inspecting Eli’s field and started to create a template for humans. After that was done, I willed the spell to find everyone matching the template. In a few seconds, I found Felicia too, she was walking in circles, looking down. I shook my head at her antics and continued using my spell. It’s been about ten minutes when I felt that I reached my maximum range. I canceled my command about the human template and watched as the number of animals I detect increases by the second. It stopped increasing at twenty-six. ‘It seems I can’t feel insects. Or maybe they don’t have magnetic fields. Maybe this world doesn’t have insects. Should ask Eli.’ While I was thinking about what else to do, I felt someone shaking me. I reluctantly canceled the spell and opened my eyes.

There I saw Eli looking at me with worry. I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes and asked “What happened?”

Eli shook her head. “Look at yourself.”

I frowned and did as she said. I was blue. “Why am I giving out blue light?”

Eli smiled. “You are at the limit of your mana.”

I nodded. “What happens if I use all of it?”

“Nothing. Just a little headache. But it’s always better to keep some for later.”

“You are right.”

Eli smiled at me playfully. “So, what were you doing? It must be fun since you seemed reluctant to stop.”

I smirked. “Are you sure you want to know? It has a price to learn you know.”

Eli smirked back. “What do you want? A hug, maybe a small kiss?”

I snorted. “A small kiss? I say we kiss,” I leaned forward. “And use our tongues.”

Eli was taken aback by the mention of the tongue for some reason. “Ugh. Tongue? Why?”

I smiled widely. “My spell can detect every animal in a hundred-meter radius.”

Eli frowned. “How big is a meter?” I showed her. She thought for a while and said “That’s big, but not too big. And considering you used all your mana in a few minutes, not that useful either. So I say we kiss but no tongue.”

I raised my finger. “Think about this. There are stealth Skills and invisibility spells right?” She nodded. “They are all useless before my spell.”

That made her reconsider. After a while, she nodded. “Deal, but not now. I will get drunk first.”

I smiled. “Deal.” I looked around. It got dark enough to make it hard to see Eli. At first, getting closer was enough but now even though we were very close, I couldn’t quite see her facial gestures. I sighed “It’s gotten dark. It’s time we decide who will be on the watch.”

Eli sighed and looked towards her book. “Now you feel like shutting up, is that it?”

I shrugged but thinking she might not see it I said “What can I do?” I shook my head smiling. Then cleared my throat and said “We should call Felicia though. This is no place to touch yourself.”

“I don’t touch myself!”

“Oh, she is here. Welcome Felicia, we were just talking about the watch.”

“I will be the first.” Felicia declared.

“Then I will be second. And Eli third.” Since Eli didn’t protest, I nodded and got inside the bedroll and made myself comfortable. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

“Never wake up.”

I chuckled at Felicia and closed my eyes.

***

When I woke up it was already morning. I looked around and saw Felicia and Eli leaning at each other and talking about something. I shrugged and made my way to the horse. It noticed my approach and gave me a look that said ‘I have my eyes on you.’ I shook my head and subtly looked if it was female. ‘Yep. Female. That’s why she was afraid. Can’t blame her.’ I gave myself a soft high five. ‘I have the charm of a heartbreaker after all.’ I reached beside the horse and looked at the things we looted. I found some jerky then made my way to my bedroll while munching on it. I sat down and thought about what to do.

‘Time to get my second and third class, but first.’ I closed my eyes and used my spell to sense magnetic fields. This time I reached my limit in seconds. Unable to see anything suspicious, I opened my eyes and finished my breakfast. Then I opened my Status and picked my second Class.

Scientist

Scientists are people that made their way of life to learn the secrets of the universe. This class will boost your intellect and your ability to understand the laws of nature.

‘It will boost my intellect, great!’ “Pick the class.”

Scientist Starter Skill: Brilliant Mind

Increase intellect when focused by %20.

When I saw the bonus, I whistled. ‘Damn, this is good. I wonder if I get other Skills like this. Eli said future Skills will be weaker, though I am still curious what other Skills this Class might give.

‘All is good. Now it’s time to get my next Class. This one is either OP or average.’

Crafter

Crafters are people that made their way of life to craft new and interesting things. Crafters get a bonus for the quality of crafted items.

“Sigh. Please be OP.”

Crafter Starter Skill: Crafting

Let’s you craft items you know how to craft using necessary materials. When an item is crafted for the first time, you get its recipe.

“It looks good. Let’s try it out.”

I made my way to the forest and picked a few branches and stones. I put them to the ground and I sat before them. I put my hand on the materials and thought about making a stone-tipped spear. I thought about how to sharpen the stone and how to connect it to the wood then suddenly there was a screen.

Stone Tipped Spear Recipe Added.

I opened my eyes and saw my handiwork. The spear was sharp and durable. It was what would happen if it was made with the best tools I could think of, without ever using them.

“Victor. What are you doing?” I turned back to see Eli and Felicia looking at my spear. (The one I crafted just now.) After inspecting the spear with her eyes, Eli continued. “Did you make another spell?”

I shook my head and gave the spear to Eli. “I picked my second and third class. One of them lets me craft items instantly.”

She twirled the spear in her hand and passed it to Felicia. She turned back to me and said “It looks well made. Can you make iron spears too?”

I smiled and said, “Do you have iron?”

Eli thought for a second and said “Would any iron work?”

“Now that’s… Yeah, probably.”

Eli made her way to the horse and took out a sword. She gave it to me and started watching.

‘First, turn the iron in the sword to an ingot.’ I closed my eyes and imagined smelting it. When it melt I cast it into a mold and let it cool down. After a second, there was another screen.

Molded Iron Ingot Recipe Added

I opened my eyes and in front of me was a sword with half blade and an iron ingot. I put my hand on the sword and mentally used Molded Iron Ingot Recipe. It was instantaneously crafted. I threw away the handle of the sword and picked another wooden branch. I imagined the process of turning ingot and branch into an iron spear and I saw a screen saying that I now learned the recipe of Iron Tipped Spear. I opened my eyes and it was there. I first inspected it then passed it to Eli, who started inspecting it herself. I used the recipe to make another spear and remembered something. I opened my Status and looked at my Exp.

Class: Linguist-1(%41), Scientist-1(%41), Crafter-1(%41), None

Seeing the improvement, I whistled.

“What is it?”

I turned to Eli and smirked. “I gained at least 35% from crafting these.”

Eli smiled. But Felicia, she seemed angry. She threw her hands up. “That’s ridiculous! It’s not enough you got four different Classes, but you have a Class this powerful too!”

I smiled disarmingly at Felicia. “Hey, relax will you? It’s just a non-combat Skill.” She seemed to calm down a little. I smiled and continued. “Besides, think about it. In the future, you can get the best weapons with just a kiss!” I finished raising my arms dramatically.

Felicia frowned at first. She looked at me. “Just a kiss?” I nodded eagerly. She turned to me completely and yelled “You have to kill me first!”

I held my heart “Oh, my heart. Help. Someone just broke it.”

Felicia smirked. “So what? Can’t you just craft it whole?”

That made me thinking. I frowned. “Maybe.” I looked at Felicia who was shaking her head like crazy. I jumped on her yelling “You are a genius!”

Needless to say, I found myself on the ground.

Again, she hit me just strong enough to make me fall. I smiled while looking at her back. ‘Felicia, you are a giant softie.’

While thinking about Felicia and smiling to myself, I felt someone pocking me at the side. I turned to see Eli with the iron tip spear in her hand. She pouted and said “Now that’s just heartless. You always think about Felicia. You always forget about me!” She finished by throwing her hands up mock dissent.

I raised a brow. “Why? Are you afraid I will steal Felicia?”

Eli give me a look that said ‘as if’. “She would never leave me for you.”

I chuckled. “Never say never.” I shook my head. “Anyway. What were you two lovebirds talking about?” Eli gave me an innocent look. “Oh, come on. I saw you leaning to each other there.” I got closer to her. “Why don’t you tell me? I promise I am good at keeping secrets.”

Eli shrugged. “Nothing important, just things.” She chuckled. “And you say you are good at keeping secrets.” She chuckled again. “I imagine you only need a kiss to say everything.” She acted like she just remembered something then added. “Tongues too of course.”

I shook my head and got even closer to her. “I believe there isn’t a single woman other than you two that can take away my secrets with something like that.”

She looked at me smiling for a second. She took a step back then held her hand on her heart. “Oh no! Tell me you don’t see me as a sister!”

That was… “Ugh. Please don’t talk like that. I don’t want to imagine those things with my sister.”

Eli seemed curious. “What-“ Suddenly, I felt my heart pumping blood like crazy and my face change to something… sinister. Eli quickly stopped herself and took a few steps back. “Oh. I think I get it.” I nodded smiling unnaturally wide and nodded again slowly, watching her frame carefully. Eli cleared her throat which took me out of my trance and said “I will go and find Felicia, then we can continue our way. What are you going to do?”

I pointed at the sticks. “I will make a few more spears to gain more experience. Before leaving,” I stood up and made my way to the horse who was doing her best not to give me a clear visual on her back. I chuckled at her and took out a sword. I made my way to Eli and said “Which one do you think would go for more money? Sword or Spear?”

Eli looked at the sword and spear. She put her hand on her chin and said “I can’t be sure, but even though your spears have better quality than the sword, especially the tip, I don’t believe we can sell them at all.” I was slightly surprised since the quality between the two was obvious. She continued. “Spear’s handle seems weak. Like it would break easily.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “What if I make both handle and tip iron? A one-piece spear should be as sturdy as iron itself.”

Eli seemed surprised for a second then she smiled and shook her head. “That’s much better. How many swords do you think you need to use for every spear?”

I shrugged. “That depends on the length of the spear.” I pointed at the spear in her hands and said “A spear with that length should take about two sword blades.” That made me thinking. “Do you know how many we have?”

Eli looked at the spear in her hand for a second. “We have eleven iron swords and two steel swords. You can work with steel too right?”

“Hmm.” ‘Can I? As I remember iron should be hammered enough to take the property of carbon in the forge to make steel. Can I replicate something like that with crafting?’ ”Sigh.” ’Only if I knew how are modern steel made, I could be the king of weapon makers.’ I shook my head. “I don’t know. I will try.”

Eli nodded. “Okay, I will leave you to it then.” Eli turned her back to me to move. After a few steps, she stopped and turned back. “Where did she go?”

I smiled and closed my eyes. After a few seconds I opened them and pointed towards Felicia. “That way, about fifty meters.” Eli nodded and took off while I started working on spears.

***

I walked towards the direction Victor pointed to me while thinking about what to say. After a while, I saw Felicia looking down and walking around an especially thick tree as she always does when she is down. I started walking on my toes, being extra careful so Felicia doesn’t hear me. I waited for her to pass me and jumped on her back. Hugging her from behind.

Felicia went rigid for a second and started to pry me off. “Victor I swear I will kill you!” She freed herself and turned to me, her fist raised. When she saw me, she froze for a second and started talking. “I-I thought he- Victor finally got the courage to do this. I didn’t know you would hug me like that. I-I swear.”

I gave her that smile she so loves. Felicia froze again and flushed. ‘It’s too easy.’ I waited for her to collect herself and said “Hey Felicia, what were you thinking?”

Felicia lost all her enthusiasm from a second ago and got depressed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I leveled her a stare. “Felicia. What did I tell you about secrets?”

Felicia sighed. “No secrets between us.”

I nodded. “Good. Now tell me what you were thinking.” Felicia ran her hand on her hair and started walking around. I didn’t follow her. I just watched and waited. After a few tours around the tree, she started talking. “That’s not fair you know.”

“What is not fair?”

“That! Victor! He has three blessings! And that blessing from God of Humanity! I didn’t even hear about the existence of a God like that! Then he goes and picks a stupid Class today. You saw him, he didn’t even do anything, he just put his hands on branch and iron and it just became a spear! Huff. And he had the gall to tell me something like-“ She took a deep breath and continued. “Like hell I would kiss him for a stupid sword! I won’t! I won’t.”

I walked to her and put my hand on her shoulder to calm her down but Felicia being her opportunistic self, just hugged me. ‘You act more like Victor than you know.’ I sighed and hugged her back. “It’s okay Felicia. He is with us, a part of our team. His fortune is ours too. You don’t need to be so sorry about this.” I expected an answer but Felicia didn’t talk. I broke the hug part way and saw Felicia’s tongue out. “What are you doing?” Felicia put her tongue back and smiled innocently witch made me feel threatened for some reason, just the way Victor made me feel a few minutes ago. I quickly broke the hug and asked “Did you even listen to me?”

Felicia calmed herself down and nodded. “I know he is one of us but I don’t want him! He just keeps trying to hug you!” She turned to me fiercely. “You! Why are you letting him hug you?!”

I raised an eyebrow. Felicia’s face lost some of its colors. “Why shouldn’t I?”

Felicia gulped. “I-I mean, do you like him or something?”

I shrugged and turned back towards the clearing and said “Who knows? Anyway. We are moving in a few minutes. Don’t be late.” Without waiting for a response I started to walk while thinking. ‘Do I really like him?’