The lovers left the cave that day each with very different thoughts. Raissa glorying in the simple fantasy of family and a home. Carlos meanwhile earnestly seeking extradition from the noose of his own making. They parted with a gentle, final kiss, just as the sun dipped over the highest peak, sending the first long shadows forth into the center of the settlement. Carlos then stood for a long time watching Raissa's retreating back, absently stroking his black stubble, brow furrowed with care.
He had secreted the knife beneath a rock in the cave, no point risking being found with it now. He knew that he would have to plan any attack carefully with such a small blade. The margin for error was significant. However he also knew that if he did things right he could make the weapon count. Bennett was his biggest worry, while he lived on here and commanded, there would be no easy escape from this wretched place. Many had been the times he had made a break for it, and even though his navigation and bush skills were good, the men had still eventually run him down.
With their leader disposed of Carlos knew that the remainder of this feral horde would be too busy infighting for leadership amongst themselves to care where he was. He could then slip away, alone, into the resultant confusion that would undoubtedly ensue with Bennett's demise. Bennett would be at his most vulnerable when he returned, lust would get the better of him Carlos mused with distaste. That would lead to his undoing. Already the vision of the knife driven with such force into the brute neck, life's blood spurting with each beat of his tormentor's dying heart starkly materializing in his mind.
While he was thankful to Raissa and the risk she had undergone, there was no way on this earth that he would take her with him. She would hate him for that certainly, but there was no way that he could hope to traverse this desert with a woman in tow. She really did not appreciate the hardship or danger of what she wished to undertake, and stood a much better chance of survival if she stayed right here. Besides he was just a man alone, he had no security or wealth to offer. Somehow and soon he must tell her of his decision even if it meant that she despised him.
Also in his thoughts reigned confusion, as he reviewed the events of the afternoon. Part of him truly cherished her, adoring her gentleness, her naivete, her ability to love and give of herself fully, an ability which he did not possess. Part of him though despised her, and suddenly he would find himself at once too severe and hurting her as they made love. It was as if this anger he directed at her was directed at all women, especially his mother who had treated him as one of little consequence. So with all these troubles to contemplate he watched the majestic sun slowly set, the long purple shadows fading finally into black. Until he could bear the evening's chill touch no further, to retreat to his disturbed guilt ridden thoughts, and bed.
*****
Five full days had elapsed since they had begun their foray into the unknown south beyond, and things had gone satisfyingly well. Renard had bagged yet another boar, and the men were now engaged in gorging of its tasty, roasted flesh. Water had also been plentiful and safe, generally things boded well. Bennett finished his meal unhurriedly, as he observed the bloody sun's departure this night. Time to move soon he knew. The war party had covered vast tracts of ground at a swift pace, not sighting another living soul. The only traces of humanity were the charred remains of settlements, which they had previously lain waste, many weeks, and months before.
The intelligent leader had watched Renard closely, still he could detect nothing amiss with the man. Though always this uneasy feeling pervaded that Renard was somehow not all that he seemed. Bennett's hunches were rarely proven wrong and doubt ate at him constantly over this man. Sven's words of caution ever present in his mind.
He signaled to his men that it was indeed time to move out, and in all but a few moments they stood eager to depart. Weapons at the ready, hunger for the kill in their eyes. The terrain here to the south had changed markedly, with the flatter sandy dunes and open plains giving way to thicker scrub land, littered with rocky outcrops and treacherous, undulating ground. From here on in the going would get slower, as this was not at all the familiar territory that they had traveled before.
Renard was in the lead carefully scouting the land ahead, crossbow always at the ready, and his keen brown eyes meticulously surveying all. There was a real risk of ambush here, for the brush afforded plenty of cover, every shadow at any moment could reveal an enemy threat. He wished with all his heart that he could have been anywhere else but here right now, for unlike the others he had been to this place before, and knew with full certainty what lie just over the ridge beyond....
Not more than half a mile south the stronghold lay, its massive metal walls thrusting up blackly from the sands. He could picture it, still standing defiantly with its battlements well defended, bristling with soldiers and armaments. To attack would be certain suicide even with a hundred men, all this and more Renard already knew. None of this information he had confided to his leader however, Bennett would see it soon enough. It would be interesting to see what would happen then?
He was nervous now, sweating even in the cold which was fast enveloping all. If only he could engineer a situation where all these men were killed? Perhaps then he could slip away to the quiet valley of his home, forever more. Such traitorous ideas flooded Renard's thoughts, as he led the party in silence through the rocky landscape.
This stronghold had been known to him ever since the war. His Father fearing the warlord ensconced within, had initiated talks and trade. Still as far as Renard knew his father's farms paid tribute to this Lord, in return for protection and peace. A fragile peace at best as he had often argued with his father, regretting all that now. He just wished he was home.
Cresting the jagged rise, the men stopped in their tracks, triumph evident in their hungry eyes. Their leader had as always provided them what he had promised, and there below squatted the immense brooding compound; a new victory clearly in their sights.
They had been positioned in sight of the fortress for the best part of four days, remaining unseen and ever watchful. This would not be easy Bennett considered, as he fixed his intense pale gaze at the fortress looming beyond. Dark it stood monstrous, and forbidding. A wall of solid, riveted, metal, thrusting some twenty or so feet up from the earth. The only detectable breach in its defenses the massive portal of the entry gate.
This too was well guarded, and more often than not the gate remained shut fast. He had watched, studying the vista below carefully, though as yet no chink in the fortress's armor had presented to him. The longer he watched the more obvious it became to Bennett that to mount a successful attack would be much harder than he had first surmised.
The men too had become more fractious and argumentative, as it became increasingly apparent that any attempt to attack would be futile. However Bennett ruled with an iron grip and maintained discipline in his force, but morale was another matter. This was a magnificent prize to be sure, but the usual methods his warriors employed would not work here. There must be another way and in time he was positive it would present itself.
At moments such as these Bennett's thoughts turned to the ever trusted Sven and hoped that all was well back home. Wishing that his most loyal aide was here beside him to give him useful advice. Many things were often clearer when the two of them could confer, Bennett at once deciding that tomorrow he would depart, leaving his men to watch covertly and learn all they could. Meanwhile he would return to camp to brief the others and seek Sven's council, before shortly returning with his full force.
He would take only Renard on the return trip. It was a bit of a risk but he was confident in Aran's ability to hold the men in check, besides Gareth would be there to back Aran up. There would be no trouble Bennett was quietly confident, and he would take this magnificent stronghold soon, just like he took everything else. He would not be denied. This he thought as he stared out at the fortress, the black wolf on the blood red banner fluttered defiantly in the breeze above its armored gates.
*****
The hot days ran by each melding into a sea of sameness, as the repetitive rhythms of the valley played out below. During this quiet time in the war party's absence Carlos and Raissa met often in their new and special place. Although physically close, each unable to tell the other of their private thoughts and hopes.
It had been close to two weeks now since Raissa in good faith had given him the knife. Still there had been no escape plan forthcoming. She had waited patiently, sure that he would tell her what he would need her to do when at last the moment came. Instead nothing did he reveal to her. Every time they met, every session in the cave, Carlos seemed to take what it was he wanted, giving little. Often it was starkly apparent he cared naught for what she felt. Hurting her more than usual, his tenderness all but gone, now he seemed distant and estranged. Raissa suddenly finding herself, bereft and alone.
As she sat quietly next to Lucy engaged in the endless chore of grinding corn, listening to the breeze rustle the spent corn stalks that stood tall and dry nearby. The feeling clawed at her dark in its intent that she had indeed been cast aside by the man she loved. Deep down she was achingly sure that whatever Carlos was planning, it did not include her. Tears sprang to her eyes as she smarted with the thought, making her work difficult to see. Yes, she would go to him again later today this time resolving to at last confront him on the issue.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Warren meanwhile had made a good recovery, though he needed the help of crutches to get about. Father Andrew had kindly made him a pair, and Warren had found himself despite the older man's religious fervor, enjoying his company.
Lucy too had taken him under her wing, promptly installing him in her hut. The canvas shelter wasn't much but it was all she had and Warren was grateful for her kindness. As the warm days went by, and he began to feel much better, he found himself drifting into comfortable complacency. Settling easily into the routine of the camp, helping where he could, though in truth his contribution was meager.
Today as on most days he sat near the women beneath the shade of a tarpaulin, swatting at the numerous clouds of black flies. Watching on as they made flour from the corn that Father Andrew had grown in his little plot. Perhaps the warriors had indeed forgotten him he wondered, and he would be able to go on here quite unnoticed. Maybe things would not be as bad as they had seemed, all those long terror stricken days ago.
Gingerly he stretched his leg, it still pained to do so, and walking was tiring and difficult. I hope this gets better soon came the little prayer, interrupted at once by the sight of Carlos striding purposely by. As usual he again appeared dark and troubled, not once acknowledging Warren's presence.
They had not conversed since that troubled day, and of this Warren found he felt relief, still convinced Carlos had been a spy. Although now he was not quite so sure. Lucy and the others hated him with a vengeance, that much was plain. Though the other girl Raissa, well she had behaved very differently toward him than the others, and Warren wasn't at all sure he could rule out that the two were indeed having an affair.
Well, it was certainly no business of his he concluded as he brushed again at the maddening flies that seemed to be all over. Did anyone ever get used to them, he wondered? As he settled down to doze for a while.
*****
His conscience was a troubled place these days, what to do that would seem right? That was the question dogging him, and one that he couldn't satisfactorily answer. Well, today Carlos had made up his mind, Bennett would surely return soon, and he would then have to make his move.
It was time to be honest even if it hurt. Today when they met he would tell her, it would be as simple as that. She would hate him for it of that he was certain, but he had put off telling her the truth for long enough. During their last few meetings he had noticed Raissa's attitude to him had somehow shifted. She was cooler toward him, less giving. Shades of his mother springing forth to mock him then, his anger had risen in him once more, as he took what he wanted without giving in return. Part of him resented her then, and just as suddenly he would feel remorse.
Raissa felt all these changes he knew, somehow though the damage seemed done. Carefully he had formulated his plan of escape, rehearsing it in minute detail many times, over and over, in his mind. Water and rations he had hidden at the ready, this time he would either succeed or die. Nerves ate at him as he crossed the yard, all that was left to do was retrieve the knife, and secret it so he could grab it on the way in, in the dark. Then revenge would be his, and freedom too, if luck was on his side.
The sun climbed high overhead, in the distance to the southwest dark clouds threatened. The first serious sign of weather in months, and the atmosphere felt oppressive in the extreme. Even the insects sensed the weather's imminent wrath, ants swarmed, flies bit, and all the inhabitants of this little hell hole felt uneasy.
Carlos reached the cave early finding the knife just where he had left it all those long days ago. For an extended time he studied it closely in his hands, caught up in his fantasy of freedom and far away.
The scrabbling sounds of stones scraping in the entrance bought him jarringly back to reality, Raissa emerging suddenly behind him. Looking at her he could tell that he was in for some serious words. Unfaltering purpose burned in her eyes and he knew what she was going to say long before she had uttered a sound.
"You're going to leave me behind aren't you?" She boldly accused, her pretty face flushed with anger, her tightly clenched fists resting on her hips. "You had no intention of taking me at all, did you? Sure, I'm fine enough for you to screw while you're here. Not good enough to take along though when you go?"
He turned to face her, roughly grabbing her arm, his voice descending into a menacing growl.
"Raissa no! It's not like I have an exclusive on that, is it!" Instantly regretting his harsh words, for he could see that they had stung her.
"Your hurting.........Don't" Her voice now quavering with tears and raw emotion.
Still he held her, his firm grip biting further into her arm, eliciting more pain. His dark eyes meeting hers revealing the fury barely contained there. Again she felt afraid, but terribly angry too.
"You bastard!" She spat. You just don't stop to think do you? Do you have any idea in your thick head, of all the risks I take! I make sure you don't go hungry, I heal you when you're hurt, I'm the only one here who really cares what happens to you!"
Carlos was quick to retort. "I cannot take you Raissa! It's too dangerous, do you have any idea of just how hard it is to survive out there! Do you! Do you!......." Exasperation evident in his tone as he roughly shook her with each word striving to get his point across.
"So that makes it all right does it?" Raissa's tears were streaming now.
"You don't understand!"
"Oh yes I do, I took the risk to help you, and you only think of yourself, you're no better than the rest, and I hate you!" She was screaming now, furious, betrayed, beyond all reason. "Well, you go then, you just see how far you get..."she threatened.
"Raissa don't you dare!........"
"Don't worry I won't tell, if that's what your thinking, but you'll get no more favors from me, not ever!" With this she struck him hard across the face, the loud slap echoing off the cavern walls.
She flinched then as she watched him tense. Yes, he will hit me she thought, anger had made her brave and possibly foolish. She cringed waiting for the blow sure to come, instead she was pushed away, and she stumbled landing on the hard floor.
Nothing would change his mind and too many angry words had been said. The rigid, determined set of his body and the look on his face told her all she needed to know. Strange how fine the line between love and hate, Raissa thought bitterly. There was no more to discuss, her tears flowing freely as she turned to leave. Hoping, just hoping that he would still touch her tenderly and relent. However it was not to be.
*****
"Fuck this desert!"
Sven muttered under his breath, as he made his way through the low lying scrub at the valley's western end. He had developed a real dislike of the place, the desert was not kind to his fair complexion relentlessly burning his skin almost every day, even under cloud cover. Still he had to go out and brave the elements, as he oversaw the running of the camp.
To begin with he thought he was hearing things, a woman yelling, then the deeper indistinct voice of a man arguing with her. It was not too long before the astute soldier realized that it was indeed his little Raissa making all the fuss. So he thought he had better take a closer look. He hid up in some thick, prickly bushes, all his military training at once coming to the fore. So he had been right, and he smiled at the thought, the little slut was sneaking off like a bitch in heat, and he was sure he knew who with.
Then all went quiet for sometime, Sven not daring to move a muscle lest he spook his quarry. Old wounds cramping painfully, it was an effort to stay this still. Finally persistence paying off, there from the dark mouth of the cave crawled Raissa. From his concealing wall of spikes he could clearly see that she had been, and was still crying. She did not pause and hurried back to the camp. He would let her go for now, time enough to interrogate her this evening. She would tell him all then, he knew.
*****
Carlos stood stoically in the cavern for what seemed a very long time, unmoving. Clenched fists on his narrow hips. This place would never be special again and he would not return.
Part of him felt rotten with pure betrayal, it was wrong to turn her away, but ruthlessness rose in him then and he defended in his mind all he had said. He could not take Raissa with him that he knew with all clarity, this then was for the best. She would in time forget, and he would move on. No, he did not need her anymore.
Soon, very soon he would leave, and all that had happened here he could put behind him. Perhaps out there somewhere existed a society he could join, and even he dared hope one to love. He hid the knife in his boot for safekeeping, and took one long lasting glance back at this special place. Then tossing his dark hair over his broad shoulders he crawled from the mouth of the cave.
The wily soldier watched Carlos emerge with barely suppressed glee, a cruel smile twisting his rugged features. He would pay dearly for this Sven thought. At once deciding to carefully follow and see just what the young buck had planned. Another escape was in the offing this much he had overheard, he would carefully gather his intelligence, and thwart Carlos's plans.
Military training had served Sven well and even now he moved silently assessing his unsuspecting quarry, tailing him back to camp. Waiting undetected in the shadows of the discarded trucks, perfect cover for his reconnaissance. He saw all, his bleak grey stare missing nothing. He watched the young man's nervous hesitation, his furtive glances to see if he had been observed, and he knew that Bennett's pretty boy was definitely up to no good.
Lengthy was the time Sven waited, observing all from his concealment. He watched Carlos enter Bennett's cabin, though what he did there he could not ascertain from his present vantage point. Sven would return to look later, keen senses telling him the lad had hidden something. He waited for Carlos to leave and when he finally did, Sven was able to break his cover. He would interview Raissa first and extract from her all the sordid details, grinning from ear to ear at the thought.
Raissa could barely recall her walk back to the camp that day, thorns had torn at her skin and clothes, tears unashamedly flowed blurring her vision. However the real wound was in her heart. How could he have done it? The young woman was both furious and incredulous that Carlos was prepared to leave her behind. She would never have done the same, her love and honor would not let her. She felt cheated, he had only used me just like all the others had! Why wasn't I clever enough to see it? She caned herself for her stupidity, over and over, vowing that she would not fall for such duplicities ever again.
She would tell no one of his impending escape though, Raissa was not that vindictive. If Carlos was determined to go it alone she would be no obstacle to his freedom. Better he was gone too, for the pain of love would tear at her every time he was in her sight. Yes, better this way, I hope he goes real soon and I see him no more, came the jilted woman's thoughts.
Pausing on the verge of the camp she took some moments to compose herself. For quite sometime she sat on a large rock obscured by bush, legs drawn up under her chin, staring up into the now menacing, thunderous southern sky. It would take some time to feel better, but in a few short months her baby would come, and with it healing and new hope. She could move forward then, and forget him once and for all.