It was quiet again. They hadn’t spent much time in Gardewall, but in the short time there, August had gotten used to the sounds of people. Sure, the squad was with him, and every once in a while, Wolf would cough, or Sterling would have a clever comment, but it was silent again for the most part. There were worse things than silence still to come on their trek, so August didn’t let it bother him too much.
Instead, he tried to focus on better things, Hilde Rosek, for example. Were they officially a thing? And what did that even mean? He glanced back at her but couldn’t gain any new information because of her near-opaque face shield. He supposed there were more important things he should be focused on, but those were dark things, and focussing on them only filled him with dread. Why contemplate what the inside of a dolorium nest might look like when you could just recall the feeling of sharing blankets with a warm, caring soul?
Gardewall was well out of sight. They’d only been marching for a few hours, but already, the reality of their vulnerability became clear to August. The defenses in Gardewall weren’t much, especially when compared to the dome, but those mountains, that wooden wall, and more importantly, the many extra eyes and ears made all the difference in the world.
The squad marched in a long single file with about a dozen yards between each member. The only ones close to one another were the general and Farscout at the head of the company. Rosek and her mech suit took up the rear.
August glanced back at her for the tenth time that hour and looked forward again just in time to avoid walking into a stationary Dalton West. “Hey, what’s up, Colonel? You see something?” August peered ahead, trying to match the sniper’s practiced eyes.
West sniffled. At first, it sounded like the common sniffles one gets outside now and then, but when it happened again, the sound was unmistakable. Dalton West was weeping. August was suddenly overcome by the awkwardness. He attempted to bypass the old colonel and to continue down Farscout’s trail. Maybe he could pretend he never heard anything.
“Do you know what that was back there?” West wiped his eyes and resumed walking.
August kept up with him. “What what was?”
“We just left paradise, kid,” West said.
“You talking about Gardewall?”
West nodded and wiped his eyes again.
“It was fine,” August said. “But it’s missing internet, running water, and anything at all to do for fun.”
West chuckled. “Fun…” He sighed and looked to the blue sky. “You don’t even know what you really want.”
August glanced back at Rosek, who was far behind.
“You aren’t the only one,” West said. “None of us know what we want. Though, I think I’m finally starting to figure it out.”
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“What is it, Colonel?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” West said. “But I know it’s somewhere in Gardewall. Like I said, that place is paradise.”
“That place is prehistoric,” August said. “Sure, they dance and smile and stuff like that, but that’s all they have. It probably only felt so nice to you because you compare it to the days that came directly before it. Anything would feel like paradise compared to what we went through on the way here.”
“You’re young,” West said. “It makes sense that you wouldn’t get it. I was your age once.”
August hated when people talked like that. It always felt like a cheap way to escape having to produce any argument. It was no different than ‘because I’m the parent and you’re the child’ as far as he was concerned.
“What’s so special about the place?” August raised his hands, “and don’t get me wrong. I like everyone I met over there. I think they’re all great people, but that doesn’t necessarily make their living conditions enviable.”
“Ever stop to wonder why everyone you meet over there is a nice person?” West asked. “How many people can you meet in a row back home before finding a real asshole?”
August shrugged. “Maybe three?”
“That’s on a good day,” West said.
“So, what? Are you gonna tell me that it’s because they live the simple life?” August said. “Our fast-paced, technological lives are unnatural and taxing on the human brain? Please… You sound like an ad for headache pills.”
“It’s not that,” West said. “I’ve been thinking about this since we left, and I’ve concluded that freedom is the missing ingredient.”
August raised a brow. “Those people didn’t look too free to me.”
“I know,” West’s face darkened, and his eyes dropped to the ground. “Telling you that what the people in Gardewall have is freedom is like telling a fish that life is better outside the water. It doesn’t matter how much evidence you give him because to that fish, there is no life outside the water. He was born in that system, his physiology and mentality adapted to it, and through generations of acceptance, he’s become dependent on it. When the very core of one’s soul has been turned away from universal truth for so long, it becomes integrated with whatever nonsense it has accepted. It gets to the point where the universal truth becomes a lie for that individual, and objectively worse conditions become natural and ideal.”
August stared ahead with a blank expression. “Am I the fish?”
West continued. “You, me, the squad, and every fool back under the dome are the fish.” He smirked. “You can almost say the dome is one giant fishbowl. It’s our fault at the end of the day. You can blame this group or that group for pushing this sin or that one, but when all is said and done, it’s up to the individual to seek truth and to deny immediate pleasures for future prosperity. We chose safety over freedom and sacrificed morality for comfort.”
“The people of Gardewall don’t seem free to me,” August said. “They depend on us to kill that nest right now just like the people of the dome would, so I don’t follow when you say it's either safety or freedom.”
“They’re fortunate we came around,” West said. “But they didn’t give anything up to have our services. Who’s telling them what to do? Who could possibly tell them what to do? They have no debts. They don’t rely on any corporation for basic living resources.”
August patted the butt of his rifle. “People with bigger guns can tell them what to do. Those vintage weapons are cool, but they could never stand a chance against what we have.”
West looked around with exaggerated head motions. “Where are they? These people with the bigger guns… I don’t see any. Nobody is kicking down their door, demanding anything. I don’t see a single soldier, cop, or government agent of any kind for miles except for us.”
They were quiet for a bit.
West nodded his chin toward Luna Belmont. “Go ask her granny how free she felt under the dome.”
The old sniper picked up his pace as August stalled. Hilde caught up to him and raised her face shield. “What was that all about? Looked like it got a bit heated.”
He looked her in the eye. “I…” He scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”