MIRA

"Heads up!"

Too late, a punching bag hit me in the face. Down I went, onto the mats.

"Ow."

"I'm sorry, I must've knocked the screws loose again," Ryder apologized as he helped me back to my feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I wanted to get back to practicing moves on my dummy.

"Maybe we should spar," Ryder suggested.

"Not right now." I didn't want to put more energy into maintaining the facade that I'd forgotten Verity, that I didn't miss her.

"You know, working with dummies only can only get you so far." Ryder stepped closer. "You need to learn reactions, how to think quick—"

"I said not now!"

My shouts echoed in the large gym space, and both Aleister and Sage stopped their workouts to look at me and Ryder.

I looked to the punching bag on the ground as a blush rose into my cheeks.

"Fine." I could barely hear my own voice. "Let's get this over with."

"Look, if something's wrong—"

"Nothing's wrong!" It was an awful lying attempt, and I knew it. "Come on, you wanted to spar so bad— come at me!"

He reluctantly dropped into a fighting stance.

"Come at me!" I taunted angrily. "Fight me, Ryder!"

He winced as he lunged. I darted out of the way and grabbed his wrist, executing a move that I'd rarely gotten to use.

He fell to the ground, against the mats, and let out a grunt, before getting back on his feet.

"You're not thinking straight," he warned.

"Well, too bad, the battle continues on even if everything's wrong!" As he tried for a punch again, I dropped to the ground, delivering my favorite of a spinning kick.

"Ow!"

"Get back up!" Anger was building in my body. It threatened to overtake me in its energy.

Ryder looked up at me, and wiped his nose.

It was bleeding.

My anger deflated. "Oh my God, Ryder, I'm sorry—"

We'd hurt each other worse in training before.

But this time felt different.

Aleister just glared at me as Sage healed Ryder.

Ryder refused to look at me.

Yet all of the emotions kept coming. Fear, anger, sorrow— all of it too much.

How was I supposed to deal with that?

There was a knock at the threshold between the training room and main corridor. We all swiveled our heads to see Dr. Banning standing there.

She took a moment to push her round copper-colored glasses up her nose.

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"Can I see Mira in my office for a moment?"

The others averted their eyes, returning to helping Ryder. I felt numb as I forced myself forward, to join Dr. Banning.

The inside of her office was a complete contrast to the rest of the Atomic Energy compound. With pale yellow walls and an artificial window that showed a rainy afternoon in a Regency-era garden, and all of the small lamps tucked on shelves and tables, it felt like a home.

"Do sit down, please." I did so in the large leather chair across from a rolling one, on a gargantuan desk that seemed infinite in its clutter.

Dr. Banning walked over to a side table with various gadgets, including an electric kettle.

"Do you want hot chocolate?" She asked. "I remember whenever I smuggled it in, you had a fondness for the stuff."

"Yes please."

She busied herself for a few moments, humming as she made the hot chocolate. Then she sat down, a mug for herself and a mug for me.

The Atomic Energy logo seemed to stare at me from both mugs. It was as if it knew what I'd done, and was judging me for it.

"Mira?"

I looked up to see Dr. Banning's concerned expression. "Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"A little tired, that's all." I took a sip. I winced—I'd burned my tongue. I suppose impatience is expected from a speedster.

She didn't notice my reaction at all.

Instead, she leaned over the desk, towards me. "I wanted to talk to you about what you've been up to."

Panic ran through my veins, and I nearly choked on my drink, or spat it back into the cup. My thoughts raced.

What does she know?

Is she upset?

Do they know about Henry's identity?

Still, somehow I managed to keep my composure. "What?"

Dr. Banning set down the mug, still cupping her hands around the warm screen-printed ceramic. "Your teammates say you've been isolating yourself. That you've been running around the city for long periods of time."

"I have." No point in lying about that. "It's so we can increase reaction times—"

"I know, Ryder told me." Dr. Banning's red hair was starting to fall out of her bun. "But I'm worried about you. I know you and—"

She stopped at the name. Whether it hurt too much to speak it or she wasn't permitted to, I didn't know.

"I know you were close." Dr. Banning sighed. "And, even if we're not supposed to, you miss her."

"I do."

"I wanted you to know you don't have to be alone," Dr. Banning said, reaching for my hand. "But I need you to work on moving on. I know, it's not fair. But I have to, too. We have a job to do, Mira."

"And I'm doing it!" I yanked my hand away. "Isn't that enough?"

"Mira," she chided.

I looked down at my hot chocolate. I would not give her my hand. Instead, I focused on the warmth of he mug, reminiscent of the little paper cup at Barkley's Brew.

I wished I was there again, talking to Henry. I felt like he understood my grief better than Dr. Banning did.

But instead, I was here, stuck hearing her out even when I'd already made up my mind.

"Some of my colleagues suspect the reason the Miracle Force was cleared so late was because I've shown too much favor to you," Dr. Banning explained. "I wish I didn't have to be so cold, but I do. I need to prove you are all capable of doing what you were made for."

"Right." I shifted uncomfortably. "I have a question."

"You know how we feel about those." Dr. Banning sat up straighter, her entire demeanor shifting to warmer and friendlier.

"What if none of us wanted to be what we were made for?" I asked.

Dr. Banning shook her head. "You know the answer to that."

It wouldn't matter. We were born to do a job no one else could. It was our fault if bad things happened, because of that power.

"I'm sorry I've been selfish."

"I'm sorry that it has to be this way," Dr. Banning said. "But you'll work on it, right?"

Her eyes were too wide, too pleading.

"Yes."

I finished sipping to hide that lie. Because I wouldn't stop investigating Heretic or Verity.

Never.

She stood when I remembered the birth records in the Archives that had piqued my curiosity.

"I have one more question."

She stopped, resting her hand on the back of my chair. "Yes, Mira?"

I hesitated. "We were children who were given up for our abilities, for a greater purpose. But there's records of our parents, right? Do they know about us? What if we want to meet them?"

She froze. Her expression fell, and it was like she'd turned to glass, she was so still and silent.

"Why would you ask something like that?" Her tone was accusatory. Her eyes begged me to leave this topic of conversation behind.

But I thought of Henry.

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

"I just was curious," I admitted. "I just wanted to know. . . If I had a family."

"We are your family." Her grip tightened around her chair. "And they didn't want you. They gave you up, because all of you had powers they couldn't handle."

"What if I just want to know who they are, just to know where I came from?" Every rational part of me was screaming to leave it alone, to stop pursuing this.

But I think the part of me that listened to that rational side died with Verity.

"Those records are sealed." Her voice was as cold as ice. She pushed her glasses back up her nose. "You would do better to forget this line of questioning, Mira. You promised me you would stop being selfish."

"I'm sorry." I couldn't meet her eyes.

She said nothing, hurrying out of the office. That left me alone with my hot chocolate and swirling thoughts. But in all the emotions and the chaos, I was still as certain as ever about my mission.

I had to discover the truth.

I had to avenge Verity.

Even if I was becoming more and more like her every single day.