Jim had blacked out on the fall back down to Earth, he was great with handling g-force in normal astronaut conditions but apparently terrible in a terminal velocity spiralling death spin situation. As Jim woke he felt no pain, no aching and all of his limbs appeared to be intact too. He frantically felt around this new body, making sure everything was in its correct place and still attached. He laughed quietly and inwardly as he remembered the events of the past day.
“Huh.. as if by magic” He said as he brushed off his overalls and took to his feet.
“Maybe there’s a giant net somewhere and.. it… caught… me…” His thoughts stood still as the scene of a great dining hall began to emerge from the dark floor beneath him. The tops of eloquent white stone archways rose into walls around him, the room must have been 100 feet wide in all directions.
With a clash of plates and wooden goblets, his feet rose into the air atop one of the many room-length tables. He jumped and hopped from table to table trying to gain his balance. Green embroidered chairs, multicoloured flag poles, crested wall banners and all sorts of varied suits of armour holding weapons and shields rose around the outskirts of the hall. Golden statues gleamed into view from the corners of the room, pushing warm light across the chaotic rising of furniture. With a sudden stop of the rising decor Jim slipped on a piece of gravy covered meat and clattered to the floor.
The new marble surface met his face with a polished slap, as a building of fanfare bellowed from the mouths of the statues placed around the base of the walls.
“DO, DO, DOO… DO-DO-DO, DOOOOOOOO” The fanfare of trumpets rang to a stop as a commanding voice echoed across the room.
“Welcome Hero… to Kaldoria Beyond!”
The fanfare kicked in once more.
“DO-DO-DO, DOOOOOOOO”
To any bystander Jim’s face was a picture of confusion. He’d assumed he would just be plonked back into the world and asked to do another quest, however the smell of roasted meats and beer was more than a welcome surprise.
As he stumbled to his feet and leaned on the table next to him he brushed off his trousers, swiftly grabbed a wooden goblet and chugged the sweet beer like an embrace from a long lost friend. After brushing off the foamy goodness from his beard he was swiftly greeted by a “Ding!”
“Here we go…” Jim said with a roll of his eyes.
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Notification
Quest: Welcome Hero - Introductions
Successfully learn the history of your race to understand your place in Kaldoria.
Rewards: You’ll receive a Class and Class bonus.
Failure: Become Classless. You’ll need to find out how to gain a class later on.
Accept quest: Yes/No?
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“Fine, yes I accept” Jim said with a tired exasperation.
The fanfare kicked in once more, making Jim jump in shock and spill a slosh of the beer he’d just picked up with his other hand.
“DO-DO-DO, DOOOOOOOO”
From one end of the hall a large white sheet dropped from the ceiling and the fanfare rose into a harping melody. The crest of Kaldoria appeared in a swirl of calligraphy then faded into black.
The image of an older man, with a long lengthy white braided beard and tired eyes appeared once the logo faded. A thin crown crafted from grey stone and embezzled with white and turquoise jewels sat atop his head. The man looked directly at Jim, as if he could see Jim was the only person in the room. It was eerie, like that feeling you get from those paintings that follow you around the room with their gaze.
The camera slowly pulled back to show the man in a white marble throne as he started to stand. With a grimace of pain only the truly elderly could feel, or maybe the battle hardened in this situation Jim thought, he walked down a slope as tapestries came into focus behind the man.
As the stoutly golden cloaked man stood the sound of grinding metal filled the room, the suits of armour were standing to attention in honour of the man, with weapons raised into the air. Jim guessed this must be the King?
In a rhythmically pleasant Scottish accent the man projected his presence across the room. Jim assumed the hall would usually be filled with people, at least if this was once upon a time a video game, but today it was just Jim.
“Welcome Heroes, you are one of the many mighty races under my domain and I am King Lachlan.” The King paused for applause.
“It’s time t’ tell you of the legends of this world and the story of its mightiest hero… Me!
O’ course I’m the hero I’ll be referring to throughout this tale, I am the King after all! You don’t get far without getting your hands dirty, n’ I’ll tell you, my hands are the dirtiest. At least that’s what the maids’ll tell ya!”
The suits of armour simultaneously let out bellows of belly laughs as their shoulder plates clanked and banged in rhythm with their laughter. They quickly returned to standing in attention.
As King Lachlan entered an extremely well rehearsed monologue of his heroic tales, Jim found his attention wandering throughout the room. He was inspecting his surroundings, trying to take in how real all of this lavish fantasy world was. Things like this were only ever a subject of teenage dreams or blockbuster movies. It was all so painfully real now though. He poked at the trays of roasted four winged birds and squeezed lattice blue grapes in his fingers as he inspected the detail of the food. All the odd food was a bizarre sight, but felt and smelt very real. On closer inspection Jim could see faint undertones of purple light and runes in the plates and cups, not in the food though. He took a mental note of his findings.
“Magically refilling cups maybe?” Jim said quietly to himself.
As he sat at one of the tables he stretched into the centre to grab himself a leg of one of the roast birds as his watch grazed one of the magic cups. With a quiet snap and pop the cup turned into a ball of moving dust and was sucked into Jim’s watch.
He paused his movements with a grimaced clench of his teeth and looked around the room to see if anyone had noticed. The King was still chatting away to himself and the suits of armour didn’t flinch.
Jim looked down to the watch face and saw a discrete pop up message.
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Item successfully stolen
Item: Cup of endless mead
Rarity: Rare
This cup refills itself with an endless supply of mead when in a room that serves this beverage. Once the barrels of the establishment are empty the cup will stop refilling. A tab is automatically opened with any establishment when this cup is activated.
Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!
Note: This cup can be imbued with magical effects to change the method and type of beverage filled.
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Jim dismissed the message, thinking nothing of the cup but becoming very aware of touching his new magic dimensional watch against anything he shouldn’t. He discreetly rolled down his sleeve to cover the watch and picked up the wing of meat.
He dipped in and out of King Lochlans seemingly never ending tropes and tails. Stories of great wars, the building of mighty cities, the slaying of a 7 headed hydra.
As Jim tapped his fingers on the tops of the table he continued to help himself to the cold meats and pies around him whilst watching the introduction to Kaldoria from the King. It had been so long since he had a proper meal, and his last one up on the ISS really hadn’t agreed with him.
As he nibbled around the edges of the pork pie and watched on as the King regaled his slaying of an Orc lord, Jim's mind wandered to his own path.
Was he going to have to fight Dragons and jump into dark Dungeons full of zombies and gelatinous cubes? In a worried train of thought Jim recalled back to his decision to pick the Mul race. Should he have gone for something with immense Strength? Or super speed? The winged races would really help out in tricky situations, and having claws and talons would have sure been great if he needed a quick on hand weapon.
As amazing as Jim’s old life had been, he always struggled with self doubt. Constant imposter syndrome plagued his career and pushed him to double down on anxious hours of study and practice. He always thought his appointment to Chief Engineer would take the edge off his doubts with the affirmation from his peers and mentors. Once he made it up to the ISS his worries had only deepened though. The weight of the responsibility was huge, and now an even bigger responsibility was apparently his to bear alone. Saving the world.
Jim felt his right hand trembling, a tick from his anxiety he did his best to conceal from the world. He focused on his breathing and started to walk himself through his relief steps, his grounding ritual. See 5 things, touch 4 things, hear 3 things, breathe 2 breaths inwards and let 1 big breath out.
When he regained his breathing into a normal rhythm he felt an odd silence across the room.
The suits of armour were all staring at him, and so was the King.
“Are you alright down there laddy?” The King said with inquisitive eyes on Jim.
“Oh, erm, yeah yeah I’m all good, you crack on” Jim said with a grimaced thumbs up and forced smile towards the King's image.
“As I can tell you’re in a bit of bother right now so I’ll let you have a chance to rephrase that ma’ boy” The King said in a tone of authority.
“Oh bollocks.” Jim said underneath his breath. He stood to address the king and raised his voice to speak clearly.
“Sorry Sir, erm your highness. Yes I’m rather ok, thank you for your worry, please continue and I apologise for the inconvenience.”
Jim sat down and with a rosy glow of embarrassment flush across his cheeks and clasped a goblet of beer to take a peckish sip.
“No need to be worried my boy, you’ll never achieve the legendary level of feats like me, King Lochlan!” The King painfully posed with a hand on his hip and sword pointed to the sky.
“I’m sure you’ll just get on fine with being a wagon puller or shopkeep, you obviously don’t have the stomach if you’re panicking already. Ha! Imagine this wee one when a Dragon drops from the skies in front of him, he’ll cack his pants!” The King reared back in laughter as the armoured knights followed in suit.
Jim was always one to take the bait when poked with disrespect, his anxiety being funnelled into a forceful self determination. He rose from his seat and spoke clearly, but respectfully to the King.
“Your highness, I’ve had plenty of challenges and defeated enough things you’ve never even heard of. I’ve fixed fuel pressure failures on space walks. I’ve designed countless sustainable usages of solar array configurations for in and out of atmosphere missions. I’ve built robots from spare parts blindfolded and saved countless lives by designing new reusable materials!”
The King leant forward and leered at Jim with a menacing scowl.
“That. All. sounds… made up. If you’re so confident in your quest history, why have I never heard of these feats you talk about? What’s your name anyway boy?” The King said with a scoff and scratch of his long braided beard.
As the king started to return to his throne, text appeared in the air before Jim.
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Enter character name:
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Jim was taken aback for a moment.
“Character name?” He said in a confused thought.
“That’s not a proper name, try again!” The King's words were thrown around the room in a bouncing echo.
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Enter character name:
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“Jim..?” Jim spoke questionably.
The King thought for a moment and replied.
“There’s already a Jim I know about, you must have a more unique name. No numbers or profanities please.”
Jim was perplexed, the “King” seemed so human in the way he talked before, but that last line made Jim rethink the King's motivations. This really was feeling like a video game.
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Enter character name:
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Jim pondered for a minute, he should probably pick something fitting to his race.. However you only get one time to name a character. Jim ran through the options that first came to mind, channelling his inner nerd.
Spiderman? Megatron? Gilgamesh the defiler? Thor? Wait, did he need a last name? Jim Stark? Jim Jimers? Thorin Oakenshield?
This was tricky, he definitely needed something… dwarfy. He had no clue what a normal name in this world would be either.
“Can you just pick one for me?” Jim said to the King.
“That would be a silly name, first and last name only please” Stated the King.
If in doubt, say what’s on the tin right? Jim thought to himself, the advice of his Father coming to him in the moment he needed it.
Dwarvern names were usually like norse names, the fathers name followed by son, or the fathers name followed by daughter or dottir. Jim mentally thought of Dr Davíðsdóttir (David’s Daughter) for explaining some of her native Iceland heritage in Material Engineering 101 class.
“Jim Ralfson” He spoke clearly and proudly.
“A grand name, I’ve still never heard of you though. I think it’s time to prove yourself young warrior” The King's tone turning slightly more ominous than Jim would have liked.
Throughout the room, figures rose from the floor to join Jim in the feast. Each was a different race like the ones he’d had the option of choosing from. He could see a huge Draconid and several human types too. From a small large footed one, to a light skin coloured elf and a long haired one with a platypus looking tail and feet. He could see an Orc, a Kurura, a water elemental and so many others Jim didn’t even remember all of the options.
The hoard of characters, maybe 50 in total, all started to dig into the feast throughout the hall, giving Jim the time to fully see that these other characters were all variations of himself. They were the reflections Jim had seen when choosing his race and he immediately had a feeling this game was about to get a little more real than he’d like.
From the edges of the room four doors banged open with a thud and four sets of armoured suits were dragging out racks of weapons. Jim could see swords, daggers, staffs, bows, shields and… nunchucks?
With the racks placed against the walls the suits of armour turned in unison and marched back through the doors. With a synchronous bang they shut and locked.
The room settled into the sound of munching, swallowing and drinking as Jim sat quietly and turned his attention back to the King.
With a cracking of his knuckles the King rose from his throne one more. A microphone lowered from above him and the announcement was loud enough to hear back on the ISS.
“It’s time for the main event… the King’s Royal Rumble!!!!”
The suits of armour began to bang their weapons in cheer.
“As you’re a little nervous I’ll give you 10 minutes to gather your gear, Jim Ralfson, then the last one alive will win.”
“And the timer startsssss, now!”
DING DING DING!
With a gulp of panic, Jim shot to his feet running straight towards the closest rack of weaponry.